Love Lies Bleeding

by Remmy Duchene

  "The flower was one my father planted in the backyard when I was a kid. He said it was his dedication to me. It showed my father I was doing all this for him. As for the Latin—it was just fun. I mean they teach you this crap in school and you never get a chance to use it. Edgar Allan Poe was for me. The pendulum falls. Light a descent into the pit. The bells tell a perverse tale to the red death portrait. It's how I felt when my father was gone. Did you know the second I heard the news, the church bell rang?"

  Leo wanted to punch him in the face then.

  Anderson moaned and Daniel turned the gun on the professor. Leo rushed forward but Daniel stopped him.

  "No!" Daniel shouted.

  Leo held up his hands.

  "No. You're not going to save him. You're going to watch him die."

  Leo saw the look in Daniel's eyes and knew he wasn't playing. A smile traced Daniel's lips when he turned toward Anderson again. This time, Leo reacted and took a step forward. He wasn't sure how he moved so fast but when he shook his head and cleared it, Daniel was on the ground with a bullet in his shoulder. Leo panted in an attempt at slowing his heart to stop the pounding in his head, even as he reached out to Anderson and untied one hand. When he untied the next hand, Anderson hugged him tightly.

  "Are you okay?" Leo questioned, slipping to his knees under Anderson's weight. "Talk to me, baby."

  There was a loud boom which made his ears ring. His heart seemed to stop, spreading the pain through his whole body. The most pain came from one spot in his back.

  "Leo?" Anderson whispered.

  Leo couldn't remain on his knees. His body was suddenly slipping to the ground with Anderson grabbing for him. Just before darkness took over, there was another loud boom then Anderson's soft voice.

  "I love you, Leo. I love you."

  Chapter Eighteen

  Anderson didn't want to release Leo's hand. He was dirty, covered in mud, and starving but all he could think about was Leo and the pale look on his face. He moaned a few times and squeezed his hand but didn't open his eyes. "I'll be right here, Leo."

  "Sir, you can't go in with him," someone said and two hands grabbed Anderson's shoulder. Pulling away, Anderson kissed Leo's head. "Please…"

  "We need to get him in surgery like, now. You have to let him go. We'll let you know the moment he's out."

  "You don't understand."

  The paramedic turned Anderson around and pulled him to the side. "I understand perfectly. You love him."

  Anderson looked into the paramedic's eyes and for a moment he wondered why the man would even say that. When the paramedic nodded, Anderson understood.

  "I'm Justin. I understand more than you think. Dr Benson is the best. If he can't fix this, no one can," Justin said.

  When Anderson turned again, they were rolling Leo through the doors. Justin swallowed. "I have to head out again. But I'll come back and check on you two."

  "You don't have to do that," Anderson assured him.

  "No. I want to."

  Anderson took a breath. "Thank you."

  When Justin left him, Anderson wasn't sure what to do with himself. For a while, he simply paced back and forth, as though trying to talk himself out of bursting into the operating room. It was illogical but he just couldn't help himself. The clock on the wall mocked him. It moved so slowly he thought he was losing his mind. He rubbed his hands over his face. The time continued to slowly tick by. He kept going to the counter to speak with the nurses but no one had anything to say to him.

  "Anderson!" Byung's voice caused him to swing around in time to catch his best friend to his chest. Isha stood with her hands over her mouth and tears in her eyes. But Anderson couldn't focus on her for long. Instead he hugged Byung tightly.

  "Nǐ shēntǐ hǎo ma." Byung questioned.

  Am I all right? I don't know.

  Anderson held onto Byung the same way he held his friend when Anderson's mother died. He clutched the back of Byung's shirt tightly because if he let go, he was pretty sure he was going to fall over. For that moment, he felt numb. Except for Byung's hand caressing his back, he couldn't feel much of anything. When he could somewhat trust himself to speak, he licked his lips. "Yes. I'm fine. Leo… Leo's in surgery. They haven't really been telling me anything. I lost track of time."

  "Surgery?" Isha questioned. "What happened?"

  "Daniel shot him." The words leaving his mouth made him almost faint. There was such finality in them.

  "Where's Daniel?" Byung released Anderson to cradle his face.

  "Dead…"

  Isha looked confused. "Dead? I thought…"

  "I shot him," Anderson interrupted. "I don't know how because I've never held a gun before—but I was so angry. I just wanted him to stop."

  The questions after had driven him mad. A detective from Internal Affairs wanted answers, then a cop from Homicide had more inquiries, along with Leo's captain. It was beginning to drive him crazy because he wanted so desperately to be by Leo's side. Finally, they all stopped and let him go. Perhaps it was because they saw the tears sliding over Anderson's cheeks. He hadn't cried in years but suddenly his father had been murdered, his lover was on the brink of death, and he couldn't stop the tears if his life depended on it.

  Anderson didn't really feel like talking anymore anyway. They left him then, telling him to make himself available if they had more questions after an investigation.

  He slumped into a nearby seat but couldn't stay still. It'd been an hour and still no word from the doctors. Each time he'd asked someone, they told him to wait for the doctor. Once the nurse even told him no news is good news. What in the hell did that even mean?

  "I lost dad, Bee. He's not even buried yet and already I'm going to lose someone else."

  Byung slipped to his knees before Anderson and took his hand. "Don't jump to conclusions. We'll wait until the doctor tells us something. You're tired and you're stressed. Maybe you should go…"

  "I'm not leaving."

  "But Anderson…"

  "No!" Anderson took a breath. "I didn't mean to yell. But I can't leave. I don't want him to wake up alone. I shouldn't have let him come after me."

  "And forget the fact you were kidnapped and tied up by some nut—how, exactly, were you going to stop him? That man loves you, even though you don't want to see it—or you don't want to believe it—wild horses couldn't stop him. You being in denial is not going to change that."

  "Byung, don't."

  "You're right. The wound is still raw. I'm going to go get you something to snack on from the café—and if you tell me you're not hungry, so help me I will pop you one. I'm going to get you food and you're going to eat, damn it."

  Anderson sat back and eyed his best friend. Too stunned to say much of anything, he managed a nod and Byung hurried off. Licking his suddenly dry lips, he laced his fingers and rested his elbows on his knees, as Isha sat beside him and rubbed his back.

  "I remember the day I met Leo," Isha began. "I thought he was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen. He was this no-nonsense cop who could charm you like crazy. He taught me self-defence, you know?"

  Anderson turned his head. "He did? I didn't know he knew that kind of stuff."

  "I guess he will have to live so he can teach you," Isha said softly. "We just have to believe."

  Byung returned then with a parfait for Anderson and coffee for himself and Isha. Anderson didn't feel like eating it but knew Byung wouldn't give up unless he at least took a few mouthfuls. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Anderson took one mouthful, held his breath and swallowed. His stomach did a strange little flip but he took another spoonful. Luckily, the doctor came out then and he handed the container to Isha.

  "How is he?"

  "As well as could be expected. The bullet missed the major organs but we had to go in there and stop the internal bleeding. He's resting right now. If he makes it through tonight then we'll be on our way—providing he doesn't get an infection…"

  "Can I see him?"
<
br />   "Yes," the doctor replied then peered at the others. "But one at a time."

  "We'll go home and get you some clean clothes," Isha said before Byung could speak. "You stay with him."

  Anderson managed a small smile. He hugged Isha and Byung and followed the doctor down the corridor. Walking into the room, Anderson rubbed his palms against his thighs. Hospitals weren't his favorite places to be on a good day. The beeping of the machine worried Anderson, for the doctor hadn't said anything about a ventilator. When he got closer, he noticed the tubes went into Leo's nose and not his throat. There was an IV in his arm and the doctor explained it was for the pain. Leo looked so pale and so different. His hair was pushed back from his face and his beautiful brown eyes were closed. He was asleep.

  Anderson sat in the chair by Leo's bed and took the cop's hand between his. He kissed Leo's wrist, then his palm. "This is so not what I wanted us to be doing right now," Anderson spoke softly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before all of this happened. I was so angry at you after my dad died. I just didn't think you were doing enough but then I got entangled in all of this and I'm sorry. I should've given you a more support and I just—I was so consumed in my grief and my loss I didn't think of how this could be affecting you."

  Anderson drew his lips softly over Leo's fingers. He turned his head and rubbed his cheek on the fingers then kissed them. "I never thought I deserved love. I believe in it. I just thought love was for everyone else but me. Then I met you and I thought—no. There is no way I deserved you. But I don't care if I deserve you or not. For once in my life I'm going to be selfish. You make me happy. You make me love you. You have to stay with me."

  * * * *

  The night passed without much fanfare. Leo was still asleep and though Justin the paramedic stopped by as promised, it was quiet—well, except when Mildred and the coach showed up and wouldn't leave until the doctors let them in to see Leo. With strict instructions not to be too rowdy, all three sat by Leo's bedside. Anderson paced the room for his legs were starting to cramp from sitting by the bed so long.

  "You really should get some sleep," Mildred said to him softly, touching his shoulder. "We'll stay with Leo until you get up."

  Anderson shook his head. "I can't. Even if I wanted to sleep, I couldn't."

  "From what I hear, you've been through an ordeal," Coach added.

  "Yeah but I'm the one without a bullet hole," Anderson whispered. "I want him to know I didn't give up on him and sleeping means that to me. I'll be fine. Once he opens his eyes, I'll sleep."

  Mildred rubbed his back and he looked over his shoulder at her. She had the eyes of a mother worried for her child. Anderson turned and tilted his head, staring at her. She didn't know him—she knew his father and still she was worried for him. Perhaps it was the exhaustion or the fact that he was probably going through shock but he didn't understand it. He smiled at her before pulling her into a hug.

  "Thank you," he told her.

  "Oh, darling, you don't have to thank me. Any mother can see you're hurting. It doesn't have to be your own. Leo has been like a son to the coach and I. We love him like he is our own—hell, he spent enough time at our place to be considered our son. So we all hurt seeing him like this. We'll say a prayer or two."

  "Thank you." Anderson hugged her.

  "Now, the coach and I can't do any good here so we're going to go to a hotel."

  Anderson shook his head. His place was redecorated and ready to be lived in again. "No. There's no need for that. My place is empty. You're welcome to it."

  "Anderson…" Mildred said.

  "No. You've been kind to me and you've been parents to Leo when he needed them. It wouldn't be right for you to stay at a hotel when my house is there." Walking to the hotel phone he called Byung.

  "Hey. I need a favor."

  "Are you kidding?" Byung asked. "Anything, you know that."

  "I need you to come and take a couple of friends of mine and Leo's to my place. I would let them drive over there but well, I didn't exactly take my keys with me on my kidnapping."

  Byung chuckled despite the tension in the air. "All right. Gimme twenty minutes. Isha and I were just grabbing something to eat."

  "You and Isha, eh?" Anderson couldn't help asking.

  Byung laughed. "We'll talk about that later. I'll be there soon."

  Hanging up, he looked at Mildred, who was now caressing Leo's hair back and sitting on the side of the bed. "My friend is coming to take you guys over. You're welcome to everything I have there, so make yourselves at home. I'll call the minute anything changes."

  The minutes ticked by, but eventually Byung showed up. He carried with him some fruit and after they left, Anderson picked at the pieces of watermelon and pineapple. Still, he just couldn't seem to swallow anything without his stomach lurching at him. Giving up, he placed the container beside the vase with flowers the Jessops had brought and rose to sit on the side of Leo's bed. Being careful, he rested his head on Leo's chest.

  "When you wake up"—Anderson sighed—"we're going to take a leave of absence from work and I'm taking you somewhere. It's going to be just you and me. And we're not going to think of any of this bad stuff."

  He knew it was easier said than done. How could he not think of everything?

  "I'll make sure it's something to help both of us heal—but it has to be something to show you just up happy I am you woke up—so wake up."

  The nurses came in to check on Leo.

  "Should he still be sleeping?" Anderson asked.

  "His body is fighting something major," the nurse replied. "I know it's hard, but be patient."

  "I've been patient."

  "I'm sorry we don't have any more news for you. From what I gathered, he's a good man."

  Anderson rested his hands on his hips and watched her leave with a nod.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The first thing Leo felt was the dryness in his throat and something heavy against his left side. It took a little doing and some time for him to remember but it came back to him. He was shot in the back while trying to save Anderson. For a moment he remained still, taking mental stock of everything. When he could move his toes and fingers, he was going to settle back into his sleep but then the thought hit him.

  You were shot trying to save Anderson—where's Anderson?

  Gasping, he meant to lurch upward but a machine screamed at his right and needles pulled at his arm.

  "Leo? Baby? Relax. Everything is okay." Anderson's soft voice cut through his panic. "It's okay. You're all right."

  "Andy?" His voice sounded hoarse. Leo felt such a relief seeing Anderson's brown eyes his heart slowed then and lurched for a different, happy reason.

  "I'm right here. Lie still. I'm going to get the nurse to bring you some water."

  Anderson turned to leave and Leo panicked again. "Don't leave me."

  Their eyes met and Anderson kissed his lips gently before nodding. He reached for the call button and after pressing it, Anderson was once again by his side, holding his hand, touching his face, his shoulders.

  "Those eyes," Anderson whispered. "Those beautiful, beautiful eyes."

  "How long have I been out?"

  "A while. I was so scared. I thought I lost you. The doctors kept saying you were going to be okay but you weren't waking up."

  Leo smiled and touched his face. "I'm sorry I worried you."

  "That's okay. I'm just glad you're awake."

  The nurse entered then with a doctor and Leo allowed Anderson to help him into a sitting position so he could sip a little of the water. The wetness flowed down his parched throat and he moaned in pleasure.

  "How are you feeling?" the doctor questioned.

  Leo turned his head to see Anderson standing close by and took a breath. "Like I was shot."

  The doctor chuckled then scribbled against his clipboard. "Your sense of humor isn't gone, I see. I'm going to take a look in your eyes, check your pulse, and look at your wound."

  "An
dy, you want to take a walk?" Leo asked.

  Anderson shook his head. "I'm staying right here."

  "This is just routine, Anderson," the doctor explained. "I just want to give him the once-over."

  There was reluctance in Anderson's eyes and at that moment, Leo fell further for this man. Smiling, he blew Anderson a kiss.

  "I'll be right outside," Anderson stressed by pointing.

  When he was gone, Leo turned serious eyes at the doctor. "Did it go near my spine?" he asked.

  "Pretty close. Luckily there was no damage. You are one lucky man, Mr Kim. You are very lucky in a number of ways."

  "Aside from the fact I'm alive?"

  "Yes. And the fact that man hasn't left your side since you got here. You had a few visitors—cops mostly, an elderly couple, and though all of them went home, he stayed right here."

  The doctor rolled Leo over, poked around against his back then pulled him over again. He wrote on his clipboard before checking Leo's eyes and pulse like he'd promised. When he was writing again, the doctor spoke. "Well, everything seems to be going well. No infection, so that's good."

  "He hasn't left at all?"

  The doctor shook his head. "Nope. He had you moved into this private room. He just used the bathroom over there. His friends kept bringing food and changes of clothes. He loves you. Never thought I'd say that about two men."

  "Homophobic?"

  "I used to be. I never thought two men could actually love each other in the real ways that count. Then my brother told me he's gay—he's a paramedic. Threw me for a loop. Took some getting used to."

  "Look, we don't ask that you are okay with it right off the bat. Sometimes that's not possible. What we do ask is that you at least try to understand. That's the very least."

  The doctor nodded. "Yeah. I learned I couldn't love my brother without accepting him. He isn't a bad person, so the fact he'd rather be with a man than a woman shouldn't affect me in the least."

  "I wish more people were like you."

  The doctor chuckled. "Too bad it took me almost losing him to learn that lesson."