by Graeme Smith
Prowess face went flat. I figured she was getting it. Which was more than I’d been doing, at least until now. “It means you never existed. Right, Jack?”
There wasn’t much to say. So I didn’t say it.
“Keep talking, Jack.” P wasn’t looking confused any more. Now she was thinking. Which was better than her trying to kill me.
I shrugged. “Not much to say. Never existing doesn’t really fit into my plans. Mostly because having plans means I pretty much have to exist to have them. So if it’s me or Vlad, it’s not going to be me. I kill Vlad, right?”
“But—”
“No-no-no. I kill Vlad, right? Because of you.”
“Of me? Why?”
“Because you said so. Or not you. The other you. She said if either of us died, she’d never exist. But if we didn’t die? Then that place we were, that Wlad-y-louse, he never gets to exist. So she—you—didn’t die.” Never mind Prowess. I didn’t know how I was keeping it straight. It felt like all I had to do was think of a question, and I knew the answer. “Which means there’s a way. Even if Vlad’s got Barbas. Even if Barbas has to die so I can kill Vlad. There’s a way. So that’s the question, P. How do you kill a Fallen Angel?” That wasn’t it. It felt wrong. Wrong because…. “Because you can’t. Because, Fallen or otherwise, Angels, they’re perfect. That’s how they were made.” I wasn’t going anywhere near who made them. “So if you can’t kill an Angel, because it’s perfect, how do we kill Barbas?” And there it was. Right there. And only P could do it. But I was betting she couldn’t. Not on her own, at least. She’d need help. And it wasn’t going to come cheap. “P. We haven’t got long. We have to go back.” Who wants to live forever, huh? Pretty much everybody. Until they find out what it costs. “Or Vlad wins.”
Prowess sighed. “So that’s it, is it Jack? The beds, and the machines, or—or what, Shadow? Because there’s always an ‘or-what’, right? And if anybody’s going to pay, it isn’t going to be you, is it Jack?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t make this game, P.” I was getting an idea maybe I did. But Prowess didn’t need to know that.
“Can it, Jack.” I’d seen the look on P’s face once before. But it was a different Prowess. Just like the one I’d seen before. Before she died. Died saving my ass.
Dumb broad.
Prowess sighed. “I swear, Jack. One day, you’ll be the death of me.” Either I would be—or I wouldn’t. It’s just what I do. So I told what had to be done. And why she had to do it. Then grabbed her, and swallowed some more Horn.
* * * * *
“Right. Of course you will. You’ll what?” Haures walked over to Blondie. “Here I am, lizard. Show me what you’re going to do.” He waited.
“Can I stop being distracted now, Shadow?” If this was a comic book, Haures’ voice would have echoed in my head where nobody could hear it. But it wasn’t a comic book. So it didn’t. It echoed in my jacket. Now, at least, I knew why I had it. Why I never remembered my dreams.
You don’t wear a jacket to bed.
“Never mind, Jack. We can get to that later. Focus. Can I stop being distracted?” I knew a few tricks, but talking to my leather wasn’t one of them. As far as I knew. “Oh. Right. Bugger. Now I remember. Left collar for yes, right collar for no.” I straightened my collar. My left collar.
“Right. I thought not.” Haures turned back to me. “Look. We really don’t have time for this. If Barbas is lending Vlad hell-fire, he’s close to getting involved himself. And….”
“’And’ what, Duke Haures?” The hell-fire was gone. The Lion that had taken its place was another matter.
“Haures?” Prowess’ voice was strained.
Haures grinned. “Are you certain, Shifter? The choice must be yours.”
Prowess scribbled on the ground. “It’s the thought that counts, right? Now get in the damn triangle, Fallen.” Smiling, Haures stepped into Prowess’ Binding. Then the large one still round me and Blondie fell. As it did, Prowess screamed. A sheet of Shifter flew through the air and wrapped itself round the Lion. The Lion Shifted, twisted—and a bearded man fell to the ground. The man rolled, crouched, and raised a hand. I had an idea the sparks glittering at the tips of his fingers weren’t what he was expecting. “Oh.” He backed against a once again undamaged wall. “Crap.”
I recognized the voice. “Hey, Jack.” All it needed was a tapping cane.
You can’t kill an Angel. They’re perfect. Made that way. So if you can’t kill one because it’s perfect, what do you do? You make it imperfect. And there aren’t many less perfect things than a human soul, never mind Jack’s. But even Prowess couldn’t smash her way into a Fallen Angel to drop Jack off. She needed help for that. And there’s always a price. Especially when the help’s another Fallen Angel. But there’s nothing wrong with prices—especially if someone else is paying. And Prowess—Prowess had nudged me.
I wondered how she’d sound, playing jazz.
That’s how it is. There’s always something that has to be done. A thing to be done, a choice to be made. And don’t think I don’t know you can feel it wearing off. The Dragon juice. It’s meant to. And when it’s done wearing off?
Then I’ll do what has to be done.
Chapter Twenty
Double-O-Fallen
The first thing was to shoot the Fallen Angel who wasn’t Great President Barbas right now. Killing him wasn’t the plan—not yet, anyway. Prowess just thought it was. Mostly because I’d told her so. Not that killing him wasn’t a good plan. But it had one small flaw—it wouldn’t work. So I shot him in the leg, so he couldn’t run. Then I shot him in the arm, so he couldn’t hit anyone. Then I shot him somewhere that might interest Blondie. Because I could. And to put him in the right state of mind.
“Jack? He’s still alive. Why’s he still alive, Jack?” Prowess’ voice was weak. Having your soul ripped out, even if you gave it away to a Fallen Angel as part of a deal to get the power to corrupt another Fallen Angel, probably does that.
Me? I wouldn’t know.
I was busy, scribbling symbols I didn’t know on the floor with a piece of chalk. That’s emergency kits for you. I drew a triangle round the symbols. “Haures? Er—Grand Duke of Hell, great wise one, knower of all things….”
“Cut the crap, Jack. Just tell me to get in the triangle.” I was getting used to my leather talking to me. And I was getting an idea why it could. Not liking it was just part of the job at hand. Which was mostly making sure I walked out of this alive.
“Get your ass in the triangle, H.” Haures got. “Now tell P why killing Barbas is a really bad idea.”
Haures shook his head. “Not yet, Jack.”
“You’re in my bloody triangle. You have to do what I say. So say. Tell Prowess—”
“Not yet, Jack. It’s not time. Don’t screw things up now we’re this close.” I was either going to have to get a new jacket, or the one I had was going to have to go back to not talking to me. My jacket must have heard me. Or Haures did, which seemed to amount to the same thing. “I will—I mean, it will—just not yet. Ask me, Jack.”
“OK. So what’s so important?” I looked at Haures, to make sure he knew I wasn’t talking to my jacket.
“How about saving your life?” Haures spat. “Damn. This is going to make a migraine feel like a day at the beach … not that I like beaches much. Right. Let’s get on with it, Ms Rayna. Thanks to Jack lying to you about what he was going to do to Barbas—” Haures shot me a look that would have turned milk. He probably thought he was smiling. “Well, thanks to Jack, you are now a soulless undead. Which will not only play merry hell with your pension plan—”
“Pension plan?” Prowess was sounding like confused had waved goodbye to buggered-if-I-know a long time ago.
“Hell-fire. Don’t they teach you people anything these days? People don’t die. Their souls just reach a point where they have to go somewhere else. No soul-ee, no die-ee. OK?” Haures wasn’t going to wait for any discussion. Not
unless he was prepared to wait for hell to freeze over before it was done. “Anyway. That’s not important right now.”
“I’m not going to die? Ever?” I knew Prowess. She’d make a great ice-maker.
“I SAID THAT’S….” Fallen Angels can shout. But from the look on Haures’ face, it wasn’t him making the walls of 350 shake. “Look. I’m sorry. But we have to move quickly. My dear Brother in Evil here—” Haures waved at Barbas-Jack “—went a bit too far. Or he didn’t. That’s sort of the point. The temporal flux is so far past manufacturer’s specification.” Haures sighed. “Look. Why do you think I’m here? To save your sorry asses? Hell, no. Not my job description. ‘Sower of Discord’? Sure. ‘Walking smart-ass on all things Divine’? Absolutely. ‘Grand Protector of anyone who Summons me’? Definitely. ‘Kicker of Ass’? Well, mostly just for fun. But it’s like you said, Ms Rayna. Or rather, it’s nothing like what you said at all, but it’ll do for now. There’s two futures right now, and that’s not supposed to happen. They both think they’re real. And it can’t bloody be that way.” Haures spat at Barbas. “For a Great President, B, you’re a putz-head.”
“The human is mine. Mine, and our Master’s. And he will do what he will do, and a million, million myriad souls will come to me, and to my tool, and time itself will be remade! And when it is done, our Master’s armies will storm the very gates of Heaven!” The hissing voice wasn’t Jack. If I didn’t kill him soon, Barbas would be back. And then it would be over. The only problem was, I had no idea what ‘it’ was. The good thing was, so long as I got out alive, I didn’t give a damn.
“Great Jesus.” There were two things wrong. The first was the way everything had stopped, apart from Prowess, Haures and me. The second was that a Grand Duke of Hell was saying words he probably shouldn’t be able to say. Haures kicked the unmoving form of Barbas. “The little shit’s going to get away with it.”
Prowess sighed. Then a rope of muscle flew out from her and smacked me back of the head. Then another flew out and smacked Haures. “So. Is someone going to tell me what’s going on?”
Haures shook his head. “Do you know how long it takes to build a good legend? Oh, well. Bugger it. It’s like this….”
* * * * *
In the Beginning
As desks go, it wasn’t big. The room was a little warm, probably because of the flaming sword leaning in a corner singeing the paintwork. The Angel at the desk made some marks on a piece of parchment. There was a knock at the door. Michael looked up. Good. This one was on time. That was going to be important. “Come in.”
The Angel who came into the room wasn’t particularly impressive, as Angels go. His feathers were frayed, and his Great Sword of Justice was more of a ‘Can-Opener of Convenience’. “You sent for me, Archangel?”
“Yes, Haures. I did. How would you like a promotion?”
* * * * *
Haures sighed. “I should have known better. He’s a right bastard, that Michael.”
Prowess raised an eyebrow.
Haures blushed. “Oh. Right. Sorry.”
* * * * *
In the Beginning
“Promotion, Archangel?”
“Yes. A promotion. We’re going to make you a….” Angels aren’t supposed to get irritated. Michael shook his head in irritation anyway. He reached to a shelf and took down a huge book. He leafed through a few pages. Then he nodded. “A mole. We’re going to make you a mole.” He shook his head again at the picture of a small brown animal with large, spade shaped claws. “Buggered if I know why.”
“NEVER MIND. JUST GET ON WITH IT, MICHAEL.” The Voice echoed through the room. Probably through all Creation.
Michael shrugged. “You see, there’s going to be a little trouble.”
“Trouble?”
“Oh, don’t look so worried, Haures. It’s all part of the Plan. It’s the whole Free Will thing. You see, they have to have a Choice.” The ragged Angel called Haures wondered if he looked as confused as he felt. Apparently, he did.
“Oh, it’s nothing much. There’s going to be a Rebellion. Lou’s behind it all. Not that he’s got a lot of choice, of course.” The two Angels nodded respectfully to where the Voice had come from. Which was everywhere, so it took a lot of nodding. “Anyway. Just in case, we want a man—well, an Angel—on the inside. So thank you for volunteering.”
Haures sighed inside. He hadn’t known he’d volunteered for anything. But that was the thing about omniscience—it knew before you did.
Michael pursed his lips, as though sour had come to stay, and brought its bigger brother too. “You’re going to be a Rebel. You’re going to Fall, and be condemned to Hell forever. Or until pensionable age. Whichever comes first. And you’re going to keep an eye on things. Just in case anybody gets too clever for the Boss’s own good. Or Plan. Right? Of course right. Now. Let’s get you fitted out. You’re going to need some upgrades. Let’s see. Knowledge of the Past, Present and Future—I think we’d better give you the new version 666. Hmmm. It’s still got some bugs in—headaches and such. But you’ll live. Or at least, not die. Now. What else….”
* * * * *
“See, the thing is, Barbas got too smart. And he broke the Rules. All those souls, going to Hell’s armies courtesy of Vlad Tepes and a dragon who couldn’t keep her pants on. And all without Choosing. And an army that size? Not a good idea. So I had to do something.”
Prowess looked at Haures. She looked at me. “But you’ve done it! We can kill Barbas and….”
Haures sighed. “That’s not how it works. Yes, Jack can kill him. But the only soul we—well, you—had was the Ripper’s. So he’d go to hell, and when he got there … well, blowing my cover would be the least of it. No. It’s like Michael said. The whole Free Will thing. Someone has to Choose. But we can get to that. First, you have to do something.”
“I gave you my bloody soul! What more do you want?” Prowess wasn’t happy.
“I want you to die. To save Jack’s life. So he can die. Well, and live.” A familiar looking syringe appeared in Haures’ hand. “You know, you Shifters are a right bugger. But this should put her—er, you—to sleep for a while.” A bottle appeared next to the syringe.
Prowess took both of them. “She tossed it in her hand. “Well. I guess this is it, Jack.” She looked round. “Damn. Never a piano when you need one.”
I had to think, and think fast. A dead Prowess wasn’t going to be any use to me. “Hold on, P.” I turned to Haures. “Wake them up.”
“They’re not asleep, Jack. I’ve frozen time is all. But she has to go. Or you die.”
“No. I don’t. She has to go because you’re a lying scumbag. She has to go, and she has to die, so I believe you. Right here, right now. Right?”
Prowess waved the syringe at me. “Jack! What are you talking about? This is how it happened, remember? I came, and I used this on me….” She frowned. “How do you keep track of all this, Jack?”
I shook my head. “Looks like I don’t, P. Looks like someone’s been doing it for me. And—”
I’m not sure Fallen Angels are supposed to blanch. Haures did it anyway. He blanched. “Jack. You’re confused. It has to be this way. You see, the future’s just—”
My right’s better than my left. I smacked Haures hard. His head bounced off the invisible wall of the Binding. “I get it. I don’t remember. My leather remembers. I guess it was real lucky I’ve got it, huh? Like those goons of Vlad’s. With their little bits of emerald. Right?”
“Well, crystal makes a really good memory store. That’s why….”
I smacked him again. “Right. That’s why Barbas wanted the damn necklace. Not to study it. To make Vlad what he needed.”
“Jack?”
“Yes, Prowess?”
“Why are you hitting a Fallen Angel, who could probably burn you to ashes where you stand?”
“Because he can’t. Because right now, if I’m dead, he loses. Right, Haures?” The Not-Really-a-Grand-Duke-of-Hell nodd
ed. He didn’t look happy about it. So I smacked him again. I had an idea I was going to need the practice. “And mostly—mostly because none of it’s true. None of it happened.” I smacked Haures again. Now it all made sense. All of it. And one way or another, liking it wasn’t really going to matter.
That’s the job. And that’s all it is, a job. And whether I like it or not—whether you like it or not—it doesn’t really matter. You do what you have to do.
And so do I.
Chapter Twenty One
Dealer’s Choice
What do you do if you know the future? If you know all the futures, and none of them look good? If you’re a Fallen Angel, you make sure everybody downstairs can see you cheering along. And if you’re a Fallen Angel who isn’t really Fallen? What you do is, you find a sucker, and you make it his problem. My problem.
You cheat.
Haures broke whatever spell he had over the room. He didn’t want to. Said it was important Prowess go save my life. I wasn’t against my life being saved—in fact, I was going to insist. But like Frank told me once. It was going to be my way.
As the room woke, I ran over to Barbas. He was still bleeding from the slugs I’d put in him. Which was fine by me. I pulled one of my knives from a boot, and put the point to his eye. “You know, I bet this would pop right out. If I wanted it to.”
“You are dead, Shadow.” The voice hissed with ice and fire, both at once. I wondered if Fallen Angels went to some special school for that. “He’s right, Jack. You’re dead.” Jack’s voice wasn’t much different. I could almost feel the cold Whitechapel fog.