Men in Control: Special pack: The Smith Brothers Series

by Brenda Ford

  Fucking hell, Angelo won’t bend to me. He seems to understand that there is more going on, but he won’t allow me to leave because of that. Is it because I’m not being honest? I need to silently communicate that I’m desperate. That I really need him to just understand and help me out.

  “I would much prefer you to just stay with him for the last couple of days. My brother is a sticky one, but he needs you. He really does need you. You are working wonders with him.”

  I slide my eyes closed for just a moment and imagine what it will be like to see Brad again, to work alongside him after that kiss, and it’s just unthinkable. It makes me shudder hard.

  “It’s only two more days, including today,” Angelo continues. “You can do it, Tami.”

  I can see it in his eyes that he isn’t going to back down. There’s not a chance in hell. He really wants me to stay with Brad and there has to be a reason for that. Angelo hasn’t ever let me down before, so I need to roll with it. I’m going to have to suck it up and go with it… it has to be career focused, doesn’t it? Maybe I won’t get the promotion if I walk away from Brad now. It’s like a test of endurance or something.

  “Okay, fine. Two more days.” I nod. “I can do that, but then I want to be back here.”

  Angelo laughs and nods at me. “Okay good. Looking forward to having you back here.”

  I try to calm my racing heart as I finally make my way to Brad’s office. I’m going to have to get it together just enough to make it through today. Then tomorrow, but I can’t worry about tomorrow. I need to just focus on the present moment first. The first bit will probably be the worst, won’t it? When I see him again knowing that the last time, we were together we were frantically kissing like crazy. After that, we can just carry on as normal.

  I suck in a couple of deep breaths, pushing the intense humiliation to one side, and I finally step inside. My heart beats in my mouth, my whole body stops as I finally clock him. Fuck, does he have to be so damn handsome? Making it even harder for me to be around him. Now, I’m just waiting for him to see me too.

  “Ah, Tami.” His eyes slide upwards to meet mine. “You’re here. Good. I’m glad to see you.”

  “Er, yes, I’m here. Erm… right…” Fuck, I can’t find any words. “I… what do you need me to do?”

  “Let’s just carry on as normal, shall we? Act like we didn’t lose our minds last night?”

  A laughter bursts from me. I can’t help it. I was expecting things to be all weird, but this is better.

  “Okay, fair enough. I think we can do that.” I nod slowly. “So, get back to filing then?”

  “If you don’t mind. I think that’s for the best. Whatever you can see that needs doing.”

  I smile and nod at him, feeling all of the tension simply rolling away. We just lost our mind last night, that’s all. There isn’t anything for me to worry about. It isn’t going to be weird, nor will it affect my promotion. It’s going to be fine. I just need to crack on and get through the next couple of days.

  I’m surprisingly glad that Angelo made me stay. Now we can just get past this. I don’t think that Brad ‘needs’ me as much as Angelo made out, but that’s okay. I’m just happy that I can complete what I started. I won’t have the regret that a silly ill-advised kiss has ruined my promising career.

  “Girl, what is going on with you?” Ruby laughs as she sits across the table from me. “Dinner twice in a week? That isn’t like you at all. Usually, it’s impossible to get you out on a work night.”

  “You know that it’s been one of those weeks.” I roll my eyes. “With Brad and everything.”

  “Yeah, so what’s going on with that? One minute, you hate him, then it seems like you might have feelings for him, now… well, I don’t know what is going on now. You need to fill me in.”

  I lean forward and clasp my head between my hands. “Oh, I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”

  “This sounds juicy! You have to fill me in. My week has been so boring. I need some excitement.”

  “This isn’t so much excitement. More stress. I don’t know what to do about it.”

  “Is there something there between you and Brad then? Did you figure it out?”

  I shrug helplessly. “I guess so, yes. Since last night we ended up kissing…”

  “You what?” Ruby exclaims much too loudly. I’m sure that everyone in the restaurant is looking at us. “You kissed him? Are you serious? That is some crazy gossip, you know that, right? For you to act that way…”

  “It’s really out of my character, isn’t it? And now… well, I don’t know how to behave.”

  “How did you not tell me this last night?” Ruby looks saddened. “I could have helped you.”

  “I didn’t know what to think about it last night. I was ashamed. I just… I needed to figure it out.”

  “And what did you figure out? Did you work out how you feel?”

  I shake my head, now taking the turn to be sad. “No, I haven’t worked it out at all.”

  “You must like him, or you wouldn’t have risked your job,” she muses. “And how was it today? Was there any chemistry between the pair of you? Did he bring it up at all?”

  I shiver thinking about how close me and Brad felt today. Having a laugh and turning it in to a joke was so much better than stressing out and having awkwardness between us once more. There was a definite chemistry sizzling between us today. It was undeniable, but we both know that we can’t go there again, I’m sure…

  “He just said that we should move past for both of us losing our minds last night. What do you think it means?”

  “Well, that depends.” Ruby taps her chin thoughtfully. “How did you leave it last night?”

  “I ran off. I got all weird and ran away because I freaked out.” I cringe as I admit this.

  “Yeah okay, so he probably thinks that you just want to forget about it. That’s why he said that.”

  “You think so?” Uh oh, my pulse races much too quickly for my liking. “So, what do I do?”

  “What do you want to do? That’s what you need to figure out? Because what you do next will determine how things go. If you want to just forget about it and move on, then just think you only have one more day with him and get through it like you did today. But if you don’t… well, then you need to kiss him again.”

  Wow. Those are two utterly terrifying ideas. The concept of moving on and acting like this didn’t happen scares me because I don’t think that’s a feeling, I will ever get again with anyone else… but I can’t make the first move and kiss him. How the hell will I ever work up the bravery to do that?

  “Is there a third option?” I practically beg my friend. “Something easier.”

  “Sure, there is. You can do the adult thing and talk to him about it. Express your feelings, find out his, and make a plan from there. That would be easier for both of you because you each know where you stand.”

  I know what she’s saying, and it makes a lot of sense, but I just can’t see me working up to that.

  “What would you do if you were me?” I ask instead. “How would you deal with this?”

  “Girl, you know me. I would just grab him and kiss him already. Screw all the messing around. I would just cave to the passion and finally get some because, my God, you have waited around long enough.”

  That’s a bit much. This all is. It’s incredibly overwhelming because it’s so new, and also because it feels like there is a time bomb about to explode at the end of tomorrow which really puts the pressure on.

  “You know what, I can’t talk about it anymore,” I eventually say decisively. “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. Let’s talk about Chelsea’s engagement party tomorrow instead. What are you going to wear…?”

  Chapter 6 – Brad – Friday

  She won’t meet my eye, I think sadly as I watch Tami keeping herself excessively busy, tying up all the loose ends that she has created while working for me. This is a nightmare. We really don’t
have that long.

  This is painful. It makes the end of us today much harder to deal with. Wednesday was crazy. Some wild things happened. To be honest, kissing Tami only confirmed what Angelo wanted me to see. I don’t know if Tami is ‘perfect’ or that we will last forever, but there isn’t anyone that I have ever wanted to give a chance like her. She intrigues me, she’s the one for me… for now. Which is why I knew that the best thing to do was to make a joke out of it, to make it easier for us yesterday, and it really did pave over the cracks.

  But now we are both acutely aware that it’s our last day together and it’s really hard. Even though she will still be in the office with me, it won’t be the same. We won’t be able to have our private chats and our jokes. I won’t be able to admire her as she works. I won’t be able to figure out if this is going to work.

  How am I going to see if she feels the same way that I do if she won’t even meet my eye?

  “Are you still staying for a drink?” I ask her in what I hope isn’t a desperate tone of voice. “After work. I know that you have that engagement party to get to, but it would still be awesome if we could…”

  She finally swings her head around and stares at me, her eyes filled with shock. “Oh yes, of course!”

  “You didn’t forget, did you?” I try to laugh but the sound is too strangled. “We need to talk about your job.”

  “My promotion.” She smiles to herself. “I’m really excited. I know this is you putting your neck out for me and I really do appreciate it. You don’t know how much I want to work hard for you.”

  As we talk about work, she finds it easy to meet my gaze. But I don’t just want to avoid the topic because it’s awkward. This might be our last chance to have this talk. It’s crazy how hard this is for me. At thirty five years of age, I should be so much better at having any kind of relationship talk.

  “Well, I am glad to have you here.” How can I turn this conversation around? I need to find a way to make it smooth. “You are a great asset to this company and I’m glad I got the chance to see that in you.”

  She moves closer to me, perching on the edge of my desk. “That means so much to me. Especially coming from you. I really admire everything that you have done here. It’s really incredible. You’re an inspiration.”

  I reach out and touch her hand as an automatic reaction, nearly snapping back at the buzzing shooting through me. See, this is why I want to give Tami a chance, because I haven’t ever felt anything like this with anyone before. It’s always just been about one thing. A quickie before heading back to my busy life, but for Tami I want to make time. My damn brothers were right, all of them, when they told me that I needed to get a life outside of work, that I should get some kind of love life. Not that I can ever admit that to them.

  “Well, we can talk about it some more after work, can’t we? Figure out what we’re going to do.”

  “I can’t wait for it. I’m looking forward to learning what I can offer you.”

  My mind immediately jumps to all of the things that she can offer me… things that I definitely shouldn’t be thinking about. Not if I want this conversation to be a decent one rather than a sexually charged mess. Not that it can be anything else with this woman. She honestly drives me crazy.

  “Knock, knock.” I turn to see Angelo in my office door way, a place he seems to be far more than necessary these days. I know what he’s up to. He wants to see if his match making skills are working. “Can I come in?”

  “I don’t know.” I narrow my eyes suspiciously at him. “It depends what you want.”

  “I just came for a chat,” He takes the seat even though I definitely haven’t invited him to sit down. “I can’t drop in and talk to my brother now? What is that all about? Honestly, Brad…”

  “Aren’t you busy? Don’t you have something better to do than to annoy me?”

  “Tami?” Angelo looks over his shoulder, completely ignoring me. “Could I have a coffee please?”

  “Er, Tami isn’t your assistant now. You do realize that, don’t you? You can’t boss her around anymore.”

  “But she will be back to me on Monday and I’m glad. I’ve missed her like crazy.”

  “She’s not coming back to you on Monday,” I take great satisfaction in telling him.

  “What the hell do you mean?” His face flames red with anger. “You can’t take Tami away from me.”

  “I will make coffee.” Tami practically runs to the door to escape before we argue, and I can tell her not to.

  “What the hell is going on?” Angelo explodes. “It was only supposed to be for a week. And you weren’t supposed to be admiring her work skills. I think you know that. You’re supposed to be falling for her.”

  It also gives me great pleasure to keep the kiss from him and I don’t know why. “Well, while she has been working for me, I have seen her potential, so actually what I’m doing is giving her a promotion.”

  “Oh…” All the anger dissipates from Angelo. “So, she will still be working on my team?”

  “Yes, just not as your assistant anymore. She will get snapped up by another company if we don’t promote her. She has got some real potential there, you know? We need to harness it.”

  “Yes, I know.” He looks really disappointed. “So, that’s all you have picked up from her?”

  “What do you mean?” I make a great show of rolling my eyes. “Look, that doesn’t exactly happen in a week, does it? Plus, as much as she is a nice girl, she is too young for me. I already told you that.”

  “So, there isn’t anything between you then? No spark or anything like that?”

  God damn it, now all I can think about is the intense spark between us. It bowls me over all the time. It really has happened in a week; she has climbed right under my skin and she remains firmly there. But there’s no point in me saying anything until I have spoken to Tami tonight and I know for sure how she feels too.

  “I don’t think so, Angelo, but nice try. I think I will find my own woman next time.”

  “But you won’t will you? If you haven’t yet, then I don’t think you will. You’ll just keep sleeping with bunny boilers until eventually one of them gets pregnant and forces you into marriage.”

  “I do know how to use contraception, you know? I am an adult, Angelo.”

  “Hmmm, yeah I guess so. I just… I want you to be happy. That’s all.”

  There’s a sadness that crosses his face which seems to be for something else other than me. I want to ask him about it, to see if there is something going on in his own life that he might need some advice for. It would actually be good for me to have something to distract me from my own problems.

  But before I get a chance to say anything, Tami comes back with the coffees. She steps anxiously into the room as if she’s trying to gauge the mood before she comes inside, but once she sees that we aren’t at one another’s throats, she comes in and hands us the drinks, ending the chance for us to talk.

  Well, Angelo is my brother. I’m sure I will get to speak to him about it soon.

  “Thanks, Tami, this is really nice.” I smile reassuringly at her. “We appreciate it, don’t we, Angelo?”

  He smiles sadly and nods at us both. Now I can’t tell if his mood is related to me and Tami not falling for one another like he wants us to, or whatever his issues are. It makes me feel bad for lying. Perhaps it would have been better for me to give him some kind of hope… but the pressure would be too much for me. Angelo would want us to end up getting married and I don’t even know if the kiss was a one off yet.

  No, I need to work out how we feel first. Everything else can come afterwards…

  I can’t take it anymore, I think decisively, switching my computer off. I need to talk to her.

  “Are you ready for a drink yet?” I ask smilingly. “Or do you still have work to do?”

  “No, I think I’m done here.” Tami glances around to check. “Unless there is anything else you want?”

  I shake
my head no. I’m done with the work stuff. It’s time to find out the truth once and for all. It might well be scary, and it may not go the way that I want it to, but we can’t beat around the bush any longer.

  “You sure? I’m pretty sure there is more filing that could be done…”

  “Don’t you worry about that now. You’ve done more than enough for me.”

  She nods slowly and takes the seat opposite me. Even though not everyone has left yet, I pour a glass of wine. Screw my usual rules of separating work and personal life. For Tami, I am prepared to make an exception. I have been making exceptions for her in the last week since she properly came into my life and I’m not going to stop now. It’s almost the end of the day anyway, I don’t see how one drink can hurt anyone.

  As she takes a sip, I can already see her starting to relax just a little bit. Her shoulders roll forwards and the start of a smile creeps up on her lips. She looks heart-stoppingly beautiful as she grins like that.

  This is the woman I need, I know as I look at her. I want her to be with me.

  “This is a nice send off after a crazy week.” She nods and takes another sip. “Thank you very much.”

  “It’s gone much too quickly,” I tell her truthfully. “I wish that we could have a little bit longer. Don’t you?”

  She pauses thoughtfully for a moment, causing sheer terror that I might have said too much, but then she ends the anticipation by agreeing with me. “Yes, a little bit longer with you would have been nice.”

  “But of course, I have promised you a promotion, and I’m sure that job will be more exciting than working with me. For you, I mean. If it were up to me, I don’t think I would let you go.”

  One swig of booze and my mouth is already getting the better of me. This could be messy.

  “Really?” One eye brow shoots upwards. “You’re making me want to stay with you.”

  Oh God, she’s flirting with me just as much as I am here. This is nuts. I do the only thing that I can and swig the rest of my wine back. As she does the same, I pour us both another one. We might need to get through the whole bottle to get something sensible out of us tonight…