by Brenda Ford
The speed that his mouth comes towards me is painfully slow. Every split second is an hour. I want to scream with frustration. This is killing me. By the time his lips connect with my clit, even the smallest kiss is enough to have me bucking violently. A scream flies out my mouth, it’s impossible to keep quiet. If me and him are supposed to be a secret, then I’m not doing a great job of it at all. But I can’t help it. He’s just perfect…
“Oh fuck!” I yell at the top of my voice as he becomes a mad man, doing anything that he can to coax an orgasm from me. His tongue is everywhere, all over me, tasting every part of me, exploring my core. This makes me weak and jelly like. Angelo has been turning me on for years, the foreplay with this man has been happening for a very long time, so it really isn’t going to take much to tip me over the edge. The fact that his tongue is off the scale wonderful just makes it even more intense. The pressure builds to the point where the heat completely fills me up, tensing up all of my muscles, consuming all of my organs…
And then I fall. As I fall, I tumble hard into the deep abyss of pleasure. The orgasm burns and shatters through me, swallowing up all of my organs and leaving me a mess. I scream, I buck, I writhe, all while clinging on to Angelo’s hair hard. If this is causing him any pain whatsoever, he doesn’t complain. He allows me to feel every inch of this intense pleasure as it rockets through me. Thank God, because I need him, or I’ll crumble.
“Oh fuck, Angelo,” I gasp out as his tongue peels away from me, leaving me emotionally drained and physically weak. “Oh my God, that feels so good. You really are something special. You know that?”
He rises to his feet, his cock standing to attention, needing me. My eyes fall on it and immediately I’m struck with a greedy need again. It’s almost as if he hasn’t just sated me because I need so much more.
“I’m not done with you yet,” he groans, his eyes hooded with desire. “I want to fuck you first.”
I fall backwards against the nearest piece of furniture which just happens to be a table. As soon as I wrap my fingers around it, I hop upwards and plonk my ass down. With a seductive smile playing on my lips, I wiggle my finger and indicate for him to come towards me. He moves willingly, his cock drawn to me like a magnetic force is pulling him closer. With a surge of self-confidence that I don’t recall ever feeling in the bedroom before, I part my thighs for this man who’s made me feel like I’m worthwhile, and wait for him to come to me.
“You really are everything,” he moans while teasing my entrance, not quite slipping in. “Everything to me.”
That statement leaves me with so many questions, but I’m not going to ask any of them. I don’t want to ruin this magical moment by bringing up everything that’s wrong with us. I would just rather not think about it. Instead, I grab his hips and pull him further in to me. I groan with sheer pleasure as he fills me up in the most amazing way possible. It’s incredible, almost like his cock was made to fit right in to me while brushing every spot I need him to. With every thrust, he buries deeper and deeper, sending my head spinning. I can see stars already, even though he just gave me the most amazing orgasm ever, it seems that he’s about to drag me under the waters of bliss again. I haven’t ever experienced the heady rush of multiple rolling orgasms before and I can’t wait for it. Especially since he’s calling my name over and over again like a prayer.
“Oh fuck,” I scream out as his hands knot up in my hair. “Oh my God, Angelo.”
I lean in, needing him to kiss me, and as if he can read my mind, he does. His lips crash against mine and he swallows up all of my screams. I can feel my breath vibrating through him, sending a warmth of pleasure through his body as well. I can feel the pleasure building, screaming through him, and I love it. I cling to him, wanting to feel the bliss as it shatters through his body. I want to experience every inch of this with him, especially if this is the only time me and him are ever going to be together. There’s no telling if we’ll be able to get to this place again, once reality hits we may never find our way back into one another’s arms…
Bleep, bleep. The sound of a phone blasting out shakes me from my bliss. Bleep, bleep.
I almost yell at Angelo for leaving his cell phone on during this time, but as I open my mouth to do so, he fades a little. Everything fades around me. Things are fuzzy and not quite as clear to see anymore. It’s all vanishing, and my eyes are opening, and the world is coming back around me…
“Oh no,” I groan as I realize that I’m dreaming and actually I’m in bed alone. “Urgh, morning.”
Why did I even set an alarm? What do I have to do today that’s so important, I must drag myself out of bed? There has to be something, or I could stay with Angelo in my damn dreams. Since I can’t have him in my life in reality, then why the hell should I be stripped from the amazing times we can have?
As I grab my phone to turn off the alarm, I find myself drifting to the photographs to see Mandy and Alex once more. I stare at the picture, wondering where things would be now if that silly little plan had worked. Angelo would have been single for six months now. We could be maybe getting together… if he decided to like me. I could have the man of my dreams right now, there’s a chance that I could be happy.
But I’m not. I’m here alone and he’s still with her. He doesn’t care that his girlfriend might be cheating on him. He’s decided to forgive that and to stay with the bitch. I have no chance.
I push my body out of bed and look through my reminders on the phone. There is a reason that I’m out of bed, so I need to figure out what it is. The only word on my phone reminder is ‘Sheri’, which is good. I don’t mind that. I want to see my best friend. She will be the perfect distraction from all of this. Sheri is the only person who knows about me and Angelo anyway and my hopeless crush. She might not agree with my silly obsession, she will tell it to me straight as well, but it’s better to talk to her than to no one. If I remain inside my own head, then I risk losing my damn mind.
I call my friend, actually managing to smile as the phone rings. “Hello, Sheri,” I declare as soon as she answers. “We’re meeting up today, aren’t we? What time did we say?”
“Ah, the phone reminders are working then!” she laughs. “I won’t be left sitting on my own.”
“I know, I know. You don’t need to remind me how useless I am! But I’m getting better.”
“Let’s meet for brunch,” Sheri says. “Catch up before you go away again on tour or whatever.”
I laugh and agree, already feeling much better about everything. My friend always has that effect on me. “Sure, sounds good. Will see you soon.”
Chapter 4 – Angelo
“Are you okay?” Brad asks me while leaning against the door frame to my office. “You seem distracted.”
“Err… yeah.” I shake my head and try to drag my thoughts away from my mess at home. “I’m good.”
“You don’t have to lie to me just because I’m the boss.” He steps inside and closes the door behind him. “Because I’m also your brother and I know that there is something going on with you right now. You aren’t yourself. To be honest, you haven’t been for a while. I’ve been worried about you.”
I hang my head low and fight back the emotions that threatens to consume me right now. “I don’t know, Brad. I feel like everything is really fucked up. I know that I shouldn’t bring my personal problems in at work, but I can’t help it anymore. It’s all just… weird. I don’t know how to explain it. Me and Mandy are…”
Brad takes a seat on the other side of my desk and he stares at me. “Something isn’t right, is it?”
“No.” I shake my head. I wait for the weight to lift as I finally admit the truth, but it doesn’t. If anything, saying it aloud just makes it more real and harder to swallow. “No, I don’t think it is.”
It’s a real challenge for me not to fall apart. Ever since the night that Mandy sent me home after our argument, things haven’t been right. When I got home, I didn’t manage to find any
of my brothers to talk to, so I left it. And I haven’t said anything since. Not even during all this week when it’s been hard for me to see Mandy. She’s been so busy with work and her friends. Her social life has been wild, which has left me alone and confused.
“So, what’s been happening? Because you two are so good together. Is it just a bad patch?”
I shrug helplessly. “I’m not sure. I just feel like she’s pulling away from me, and it’s all because I asked her about us moving in together. She really doesn’t want to live with me, which seems strange.”
“Well… I don’t think that’s something to worry about,” Brad offers cautiously. “You know how she is. Mandy is quite… high maintenance in her ways. She is probably just scared of giving up space.”
“That is what she said,” I confess. “But then she’s been distant all week long and I’m freaked out.”
“Angelo, Mandy has busy weeks. You know that. She always does and that hasn’t ever bothered you before. I think this is just a mix of everything going on in your head, making it worse.”
“You think?” I stare at my brother desperately. “I keep wondering that myself. I know that I can be a bit of an over thinker, but this really seems like something I should think about. Right?”
Brad sighs loudly and nods a little. “Maybe, but I personally don’t think you need to worry. I also think that we can discuss this further at home. There are some things that I need you to do here.”
Brad gives me a list of chores which I know are just busy work, but I go along with it because to be honest I do need something to take my mind off of things. Sitting here in the middle of my office, just thinking about Mandy is driving me insane. Not that it’s much of a distraction to be honest. Instead, I think about the early days instead. I remember how me and Mandy first met and how special things were then.
It was just a normal day; I had no idea how much my life was going to change as I stepped into that supermarket on a Wednesday afternoon. The first sound I heard was a woman yelling at one of the staff members. She immediately grabbed my attention because she was arguing about them still using single use plastic bags. It was during the time that a lot of stores were moving to paper bags of long-term use type, so it was a fair argument… but that wasn’t what I noticed really. It was her beautiful face as the passion gripped her, as she felt seriously strong about her point, the way that her hands waved around as she yelled.
Instantly, I knew that I had to talk to her. I needed to get to know her better, so in a moment of bravery that I haven’t ever emulated since, I asked her out on a date. She was so taken aback by me interrupting her for that, she ended up laughing and agreeing. Maybe if I had asked her at another time, she would have refused, especially because I’m a little younger than her, but she agreed, and we have been through strength to strength since.
She admired me then. I could tell from the way that she looked at me. She stared at me with love and happiness. I could make her laugh with ease and I always had her attention. How can I find out what changed? Why she doesn’t seem to look at me like that now? Why she doesn’t want to live with me? How can I get things back to how they used to be? I need to act and do something drastic. But what?
“Wesley,” I mutter to myself as if this is obvious. “Wesley can help.”
He might be a little younger than me, but he has the sharpest mind out of all of us. Brad is wonderful, but his advice isn’t enough, the gut feeling that something is wrong remains. I need someone else to help me.
I pick up the phone and call his office where he works in the IT department because his knowledge in technology is incredible. My creative mind, which is suited to the marketing here, can’t even begin to fathom what my brother does. But the difference in his brain is what might assist me right now…
“Hey, Angelo, everything alright?” he asks with absolutely no stress in his voice despite the fact that I know his job is a stressful one. “What can I do for you? Something computer related, I bet.”
“Not exactly.” All of a sudden, it feels weird to admit this to Wesley as well. If saying it to Brad made it all the more real, then telling Wesley would be like telling the world. Not because he’d spread it, just because it would be out there in the world. But I suppose I’ll have to tell him now. “It’s love life related.”
Wesley lets out a snort of laughter. “I don’t know if I can help you with that.”
“Well, despite your inexperience, I think you might be able to help me. I’m worried about my relationship. I don’t know what’s going on with Mandy, I feel like she doesn’t want to be with me anymore.”
“You’re still worried that she might be cheating on you?” I almost forgot that I told Wesley way back when about the message, before I fully made the decision to get over it. “Because there are ways that we can find out.”
“What… what do you mean?” I gulp back a thick ball of emotion. “How can we find out?”
“Well, we can take a look at her phone, can’t we? See if there is anything incriminating there.”
Not only would that tell me if she had something to hide, it would tell me if she’s been messaging her friends about me and her. I could find out where I have been going wrong and what I can do to fix us. It’d be a bit of a desperate move, but seeing in to Mandy’s mind could really help. We can get things back on track…
But I know what Mandy is like. She seriously respects her space and privacy. If she ever found out that I went through her phone, she would kill me. It’d be the end of us instantly. We’d never be able to make it up. I don’t know if I can risk that. The whole idea is much too terrifying. Plus, I don’t do well with guilt. I’m sure it will eat me up from the inside out and I won’t ever be the same again. I won’t be able to live with myself.
“I don’t know,” I admit to Wesley. “I don’t think I need to go that far.”
“Are you sure?” It’s obvious from my brother’s voice that he doesn’t think I should avoid it. He must not trust Mandy at all, which is a shame. But I suppose it doesn’t really matter. In all the time that we have been together, Mandy hasn’t ever got close to any of my family or anyone in my life really. Nor am I that involved with hers. Maybe that isn’t the way that everyone would have it, but it works just fine for us.
“Yeah, I don’t think there’s anything to find out. Like Brad said, it’s probably just my over active imagination.”
“Hmm, sure. If that’s what you think. I hope you manage to sort it out somehow.”
“I… I will,” I reply with more doubt in my voice than I would like. “I’ll find a way to sort it. It’s probably just a rough patch, isn’t it? Plenty of people go through rough patches.”
“I’m sure they do, yes. I really hope that you don’t have anything to worry about.”
This is the sort of question I could ask my father… if he were still alive. I wish yet again that they were still alive. I wish they didn’t die in a car crash when I was only four years old. Not quite five. Brad was nineteen years at the time, and he looked after us, but his advice could only be based on something newer. He hadn’t had long term relationships, not like our parent’s marriage. They would know how to deal with a rough patch.
“Anyway, thank you for your help, Wesley, I really appreciate it.”
“I didn’t really help you,” he laughs. “But you know that you can talk to me about anything.”
Me and Wesley talk for a little while longer, carefully avoiding the subject of Mandy. I don’t think I should talk to anyone about it anymore, it might be better for me to just work it out myself. I mean, it’s me that needs to fix it, isn’t it? I’m the one who has to see how to make us back to what we used to be…
As I hang up the phone, another thought comes to me. The past could be just what we need. Since Mandy seems so jealous of her friend’s new relationship, maybe we should go back to the beginning. Have dates like we used to, buy her gifts… jewelry, like her friend gets. In fact, what I need to do
is send some flowers to her work right now as a big romantic gesture to let her know that I’m thinking of her.
Yes, this is perfect, this is what I need to do. I don’t need to watch over Mandy and see what she’s up to, I need to take her hints and work with them. She’s already telling me what she needs I just have to hear it.
“I can do this,” I assure myself. “I can. I can make everything okay again. I have to.”
It feels like this is something I keep telling myself now. Like I’m desperately fighting for something that is slipping away and it doesn’t seem to matter what I do, I can’t hold on to it. But I’m not going to stop fighting. I refuse. I have thrown too much into this relationship, I have given everything to it. I won’t give up now. After all, the more you give for love, the more you get out of it…
Chapter 5 – Rachel
“No, Rachel,” Sheri groans like she’s actually in pain. “I don’t want to hear it anymore. Angelo is no good for you. You know this. If this crazy crush was ever going to go anywhere then it would have by now.”
“But Mandy isn’t good for him,” I shoot back. “And not just because of the affair…”
“I’ve already warned you not to get involved with that. Family matters are very delicate. I’m sure the fact that they are twins will make it all the more complicated. You don’t want to be in the mix. Not only will that ruin any chance that you have ever had with Angelo – not that I think you have one, to be honest with you. Not to be cruel, I just don’t want to see that excitable puppy dog look on your face for him – but also Alex will hate you.”
I don’t want to fall out with Alex ever. He’s a good friend and we gel well together as a band. The last thing we need is for an explosive argument to tear us apart just as we’re doing well.