by Brenda Ford
This is the life that I want, I know for certain as we shatter through the orgasm together. This is everything.
“I never want to go home,” Nelson pants once we collapse in the bed next to one another.
“Me neither.” I trace my finger over his sweaty chest. “This is perfect, isn’t it?”
I just hope that the perfection doesn’t end. This is what I want forever. This is the happiness that I have always been hoping for and it’s here. My fairy tale ending to a terrible start in life.
Chapter 27 – Nelson
The drive home is a weird one. I feel all strange inside, like this is the last time everything will be good for a while. I suppose it is because we need to remain in the shadows for a while until this is more acceptable.
“We can take more trips like that,” I reassure myself as much as Amelia. “There will be more chances.”
“Oh of course! We can do things like that all the time. Especially when you are at college. It will probably give you a much needed break. Much as college is fun, there is always time for a break.”
I smile at her gratefully, glad that she’s decided to give this a go as much as I have. I don’t know what I would have done if she turned me down. I’d be on my way to college with a seriously broken heart.
“So, you’re happy with your choice?” she checks once more. “You don’t want to go to New York.”
“No, not for college.” I shake my head determinedly. “I can go to New York whenever.”
“Are you sure? Because I’m sure that we can still make it work if you even go to New York…”
“It won’t be the same.” I know this. I have thought it through so much. It’s like Wesley already said, long distance relationships don’t work. “I would much rather be nearer so it’s easier for me and you.”
“I think you should pick the right choice, not the easy one. I don’t want you to regret what you do.”
I smile at her. “Trust me, picking you isn’t the easy choice… but it’s definitely the right one. I regret nothing.”
If I keep telling myself that, then it will be okay. Then I will believe it. It isn’t that I’m doubting my decision, I just enjoyed my time in the city. But it isn’t just about the course. It’s about so much more. It’s about being here with this woman, keeping the love of my life by my side, claiming what is mine.
“Yeah, well I will come to New York with you. We can go for a trip. Have a nice vacation there sometimes.”
I hope that isn’t a hollowness in her voice. I hope she isn’t sad by my choice because it’s definitely the right one. I grab her hand and squeeze it reassuringly, trying to communicate silently that I’m good.
“It’s going to be strange when we get back, isn’t it? Back to the shadows and all that.”
“The shadows mean nothing. We can cope. It will be worth it. Just think about how it will be afterwards.”
The closer we get to home, the quieter we become. There’s a thick tension clinging in the air which I don’t like. It half makes me want to turn around the car so we can just live out our sea side dream. To just forget everyone and leave just me and her in our own little happy ever after.
As we get nearer to our home, I pull the car over to the side of the road and turn to see Amelia. To really see her. I take my hand and stroke it down her beautiful face, just drinking all of her in. Those piercing eyes, the gorgeous cheek bones, her hair cascading down her face. She’s so lovely. So lovely and all mine.
“You aren’t kicking me out of the car here, are you?” she teases. “I could walk, I suppose, but…”
“I’m not kicking you out. I just want one more moment with you. Just before life begins.”
I pull her face towards me and we kiss. Her lips are soft and plump against mine, they taste delicious. I don’t want the kiss to end. But when it does, I rest my forehead against hers just inhaling her deeply. It feels like we’re saying goodbye here and it’s the most difficult thing that I have ever had to do. Let’s hope that it gets easier when I’m at college and we need to say goodbye a lot. God, sometimes I think it would be a lot easier if I had met her a bit later on in my life when I’m done with college and settled, but I still wouldn’t change this.
“I suppose we better make a move, shouldn’t we?” I bring the car back to life. “Or everyone will assume that we’re missing and report us to the police. Now that is the last thing that I want.”
“Hmm, especially since I’ve had my cell phone off all the time. I probably should turn it on.”
She leans down and grabs out her phone, fiddling with it until it turns on. Once it does, it bleeps. Once, then again. Then a third time. It actually doesn’t seem to stop. I wonder if mine will be the same.
“Oh my God.” I dart my eyes towards Amelia whose face has gone a funny shade of pale. “Oh my God.”
“What’s going on? Have we missed the end of the world?” I tease, trying to lighten the mood.
“I don’t know. Rosie has been trying to get hold of me all morning. It seems like an emergency.”
Her whole body stiffens as she tries to call her daughter, but it seems like she can’t get through. I need to pick up the pace to get her home before she loses her mind. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m hoping it’s nothing.
“Shit, I’m freaked out, Nelson. What if she’s in trouble and I had my phone off?”
I gulp the fear down because I really have no answer to that. I can’t reassure Amelia of anything because I don’t know. If I could reach my cell phone then maybe I could get her to check if I have any news from Oliver or any of the others, but it’s in one of the bags somewhere on the back seat. I didn’t need it.
“We’ll be there soon,” I say through gritted teeth. “Only a couple more minutes.”
The drive becomes tense. I can feel the stress consuming her and me adding a share to it. I start to panic that we’re about to drive into something terrible. My heart races quickly and I tremble a little.
“Oh my God.” I’m not relieved as I get back home. The sight before me makes it so much worse. There are people everywhere, surrounding mine and Amelia’s home, so she was right to be worried. Something is happening. Something bad. All I can think about is Rosie in all kinds of trouble.
“What if it’s Lux?” Amelia gushes. “What if he ignored the restraining order?”
“This isn’t the police though. This is… I don’t know.” I shrug helplessly. “It’s something different.”
We climb out of the car together, both of us in our own state of panic. Noise buzzes around us, all the people standing outside our homes don’t sound panicked as they chat to one another. It has to be some kind of emergency… but not the sort of emergency that needs immediate attention.
“What the fuck?” Amelia gushes. “Where the hell is Rosie? I need to find her now.”
Someone sees us. Then everyone does, and before we know it everyone is angled towards us yelling questions our way. It’s overwhelming, I honestly can’t work it out. What are they yelling?
“How long have you been together? Since when it was legal?”
“Have you had sex in the high school? Do the other students know?”
“Are you going to lose your job over this? The school won’t be happy.”
As some of the words being screamed filter through into my brain, I realize what’s happening here. These are reporters. Some of them are photographers. Flashes seem to be coming from everywhere. We have been found out. Somehow, the world… or at least this town, are going to know about us. There won’t be any more living in the shadows but in a really bad way. I’m sure that I look like a bewildered idiot as I stare at all of these people in turn, but I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to say. How can I make this better?
Say something, my bran screams at me. Deny it, say something. Take the blame for Amelia.
But I’m frozen in time, stuck to the spot, unable to say anything. I have come right from my dream and dived
straight into a nightmare. We should have stayed at the shore. Everything was so much better there.
“I need to get inside!” Amelia screams, somehow managing to be louder than everyone else. “My daughter.”
“Does your daughter know about the affair? Is she aware that you are with a high school student?”
Unfortunately, all this brings with it is another round of questions. But Amelia is determined. Not frozen like I am. She pushes people out of the way, getting angrier by the moment and all I can do is blink like a fool. I want to be a hero to Amelia, but I can’t. Instead, all I want to do is run like the wind. If this is a fight or flight situation then me and Amelia have both suffered totally different reactions to it and I’m the weak one.
Most of the reporters go after her, figuring that she will be the one to speak, but one of them must have sensed how broken I am and he came me. He has a photographer take lots of shots of me before he begins.
“Did you start this to try and ruin Miss Clark’s career?”
“No, I…” Shit, is that what people are going to think? “Of course not. I would never…”
“But you must have known that an affair with a student would make her lose her job and her reputation, potentially sending her to jail as well. Did you ever consider that or was it all about fun?”
“It isn’t fun. It isn’t that at all. This is far more serious than that.”
“So, it’s been going on for a long time then? Was there ever a time it was illegal?”
“It started after I finished high school,” I attempt. “Never before.”
“But that’s been a matter of days. How can it be so serious in a matter of days?”
Shit. I’m not helping this at all. Everything that I am doing just seems to make it worse. I need to keep my damn mouth shut before I say anything else potentially incriminating. I step backwards, trying to make my escape, but this man has locked on to me and he wants his exclusive. He isn’t going to let it go.
“Was it always a fantasy of yours? Who did the chasing, you or her? What’s going to happen now?”
I search for Amelia, wanting to find her in the crowd, hoping that she isn’t going through the same level of questioning that I am. But it isn’t her I see when I do find a familiar face. It’s someone who definitely isn’t welcome here, who is breaking the law. Lux. Judging by the smirk on his face when he catches my eyes, he hasn’t followed the restraining order at all. He’s been tracking Amelia all along which is how he found out about me and her. Now, this is his way of getting revenge. He believes that she ruined his life – when he managed that all by himself – and he wants to get her back.
Fuck, this is worse than I thought it was going to be. I don’t know if we can escape from this.
Before I can call after Lux, to ensure the police are aware that he’s been breaking the law, he vanishes into the crowd and presumably disappears. He’s been seen by me now; he has achieved what he wanted to. His job here is done. Now it’s up to us to deal with the consequences and pick up the pieces.
Chapter 28 - Amelia
There’s a ringing in my ears as the walls of people close around me. I can’t even hear what is being asked of me anymore. It’s all just a horrible racket that I can’t bear for another second longer. I try to press my hands to my ears, but it feels like there are too many people blocking me from moving at all.
My body wants to collapse. To cave into this and let these people just trample all over me since that’s clearly what they want to do. My knees buckle, I almost tumble hard to the ground, but something grips on to me and pulls me hard. I can’t resist the pull, it’s too intense, I just hope that it’s someone who wants to help me.
“I need to get to Rosie,” I whimper desperately. “Please, let me go. I want her.”
I feel pathetic as I burst into sobs. I had a surge of anger to start with. An indignation. How dare these people think it right to explode into my life and to interfere with my business… but now I’m just gutted. I’m really sad that everything has come out in this way. Somehow, the information is out there and I can’t get it back.
“Mom.” I accidently slam against the house. There’s a splice of pain through me, but it’s combined with relief. At least whoever has pulled me has taken me here so I can get inside. “Mom, come on.”
My heart damn near bursts out from my chest when I realize who it is. Rosie! She’s found me. Somehow, in all of this mess, she has me now. I might be saved after all. Although I doubt this is going anywhere. Rosie grabs me again and tugs me towards the door. I must be like dead weight from shock because I can see that she really has to put in all of her effort to get me anywhere. I wish that I could help her, but I’m beyond that now.
The front door tugs open, the yelling behind me gets even louder, it’s almost overwhelming, and then I’m taken inside, and the door closes with a loud slam. Much as it doesn’t get rid of the sound, it still does dull it.
“Nelson?” I beg Rosie. “I don’t know what happened to him. Where is Nelson?”
“I’m really not worried about Nelson right now, Mom. He will be just fine. It’s you we need to focus on.”
“Bu… but…” I point to the outside. “He’s out there. With the mob. They are like vultures.”
“He has brothers who will definitely look after him. I wouldn’t worry. I’m sure he’s at home, just like you are. What we need to do now is work out what you’re going to do since denial definitely isn’t an option.”
“Because we turned up together?” I rack my brain desperately. “That doesn’t have to mean anything.”
“No, Mom. Didn’t you listen to any of my voice mail messages? The pictures online of you and Nelson.”
My blood runs ice cold. This isn’t good at all. “What the hell are you talking about, Rosie?”
She rolls her eyes and grabs her cell phone, scrolling desperately to find the page. As soon as she logs on to the local news paper’s website and she passes it to me, I know that I’m in trouble.
Teacher Beds Student…screams the head line, combined with photos of me and Nelson on the beach. The one time we thought that we could act as we like because no one was watching… how wrong we were.
“It keeps talking about a source,” Rosie bites out. “The information came from a source.”
I nod knowingly. “There is only one person who hates me enough to do this. One person who wouldn’t want me to be with someone else and would also like to destroy my life in one fell swoop.”
“That’s what I thought too,” Rosie agrees. “Dad, right? What an asshole.”
“It will be because of the restraining order. Maybe I should report this. It’s him breaking the law.”
“I know, and I do think that you should do that, but you will have a lot of backlash to deal with first.” Rosie’s words bring me back to the Earth with a thump. “People aren’t going to like this. This is exactly what I was worried about. I don’t know how long all of this will take to die down, but it’s going to be hard…”
All the words that me and Nelson spoke to one another feel hollow now. About being in love and supporting one another through anything. We naively thought that our love could conquer all and that we would be the statistic to make it work… but that was all hypothetical. But facing the reality is something else. It’s so much more dramatic and harder to swallow. I don’t know if my fragile state and Nelson’s youth can overcome this.
Well played, Lux. I shake my head as the sadness damn near crushes me. You might have won.
“I need to go in the kitchen,” I growl. “I want to get away from that noise.”
“I will be honest with you, there isn’t anywhere to fully escape it, but yeah you are right, it is a lot quieter in the kitchen.”
I want a giant hole to open up, to swallow me whole as we walk when I think about the headlines that are to come. What they have already printed on the back of what Lux told them is bad enough, but what will come after is a million times wors
e. It’s bound to be. Me fighting like a mad woman through the crowds while they take pictures of me, and Nelson… well, I still don’t know what happened to Nelson, so I don’t know.
“Is that your cell phone?” Rosie asks once we can hear a little better. “If you don’t know who it is, don’t pick up. I accidently answered a call and it was someone from the press trying to get a quote. Well, they got one, but I don’t think it will be one that they can print. If they do, I will look like a crazy person…”
“It’s the dean of the school,” I whisper, struck with shock. “What do I do?”
Rosie’s eyes dart between me and the phone. She doesn’t like this as much as me. “I guess you don’t have any choice. That’s a call that you really need to answer. You can’t put it off.”
She’s right. I know what the dean is like. The longer I leave it, the worse it will get. I need to face it now. With shaky hands I hit the answer button and I whisper out a ‘hello’.
“Amelia, is that you?” he barks. “I think me and you need a talk.”
“Of course,” I reply, my head low. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know about…”
“This isn’t a talk that we can have over the phone. It needs to be in an official conduct disciplinary meeting with governors and members of the board there. I am sure you appreciate that this is a very serious matter.”
All of that sounds very serious. Like firing serious and potentially going to jail. Everything that I have feared and been warned about but that I never listened to. I’m more of a fool than I thought.
“Yes, I do know, but I would just like to explain…”
“You can’t explain yourself now. It doesn’t work like that. It will have to be Monday morning.”
A desperation consumes me. All I want to do is defend myself, but to be honest there isn’t any defense left for what I have done. I can argue that it didn’t start until after Nelson finished high school, but that would be a lie, and I don’t think ‘oh, but I’m in love’ will help either. Everyone will assume that I’m a foolish woman in the center of a mid-life crisis. Just like Rosie believed in the beginning.