Anything for Danny

by Carla Cassidy

  "But the cutest," he replied and despite her irritation, Sherri laughed.

  "Tell me the truth, you can't resist me in my red boxers, right?"

  "Tell me, do you work hard at being obnoxious, or does it just come naturally to you?" she returned.

  He held up his hands in mock surrender. His smile faded and he looked at her seriously. "Sherri, you know I won't be worth diddly tomorrow if I try to sleep sitting up. I know this wasn't part of the original arrangement, but surely we can manage for one night."

  Despite her desire to scream and rail, knowing that it was an enormous mistake, Sherri finally nodded her assent. "Just for tonight," she relented. "In future, if Danny doesn't want to share his bunk, you'll have to either fight it out with him or come up with another alternative." She stood up. "Just make sure you stay on your own side of the bed tonight." With this final word, she headed for the shower.

  Moments later, standing beneath the spray of warm water, she cursed the fates that had placed her in her present position. She should have refused altogether. She should have told him to sleep on the floor, or sitting up behind the steering wheel. What did she care if he wasn't worth diddly tomorrow?

  If she didn't know her son better, she'd wonder if this wasn't some sort of childish scheme to force things between her and Luke.

  She stayed beneath the water for an inordinately long time, dreading to leave the bathroom and share the bed with Luke. She stepped out of the stall and quickly dried off, then slipped on her nightshirt. Well, there was nothing to be done about it now. He was right, they were both adults and surely they could share a bed without any problems. After all, they were just going to sleep. It was really no big deal.

  Luke was already in bed when she left the bathroom. She turned out the light and slid beneath the covers, careful to hug the edge of the mattress. She didn't want a single toe to touch him.

  Despite the distance between their bodies, she could feel his body heat, radiating like the welcome warmth of a furnace on a wintry night. His scent surrounded her, provocatively male and intrinsically Luke.

  Her mind suddenly filled with a million memories: wintry nights beneath a pile of covers, Luke's lips warming her body, the night they had made love on their front porch giggling like teenagers as each car had passed on the nearby street, the night she conceived Danny. Memory after memory seared through her mind, teasing her, taunting her with delicious, erotic visions of what they had once shared.

  She gasped as his thigh brushed against her own. "Sorry," he murmured, moving away as quickly as she jumped. It was then that Sherri realized sleeping next to him was a big deal…a very big deal. As she lay there, desire hit her square in the middle of the stomach, and along with the desire came a horrifying fact…she was still desperately in love with her ex-husband.

  Chapter Eight

  She dreamed she was being held in strong arms…arms that made her feel safe and loved. Warmth surrounded her, suffused her, made complete awakeness come slowly, reluctantly. She smiled, content to remain in her pleasant dreamworld forever. So nice…so nice to feel male arms enfolding her close. It had been so long…so very long. She snuggled closer and sighed with contentment. It was the most delicious dream she could ever remember having.

  As awakeness came, for a moment she couldn't discern the difference between her dreams and reality. Then she realized she was awake and she was being held in big strong arms…Luke's arms.

  She was curled up on her side and Luke was curved spoon-fashion around her back. His body touched her everywhere, creating a coiling warmth in the pit of her stomach. His arm was around her waist, his hand resting on the curve of her breast, as if it had a right to the intimate touch.

  His breath was warm as it gently fanned the top of her head and she breathed deeply of the scent that was his alone…the clean, sweet scent of Luke.

  Get up, her brain screamed. Get up and get away from him. This isn't good. You shouldn't be in his arms. You're torturing yourself. The tiny voice commanded, cajoled, pleaded, but her body wasn't listening to the logic of her mind. Torture it might be, but it was exquisite. Her body wanted to remain forever in his embrace, wanted the warmth of his body so close to hers. Her body simply refused to move.

  She remained completely still, not wanting to break the sweet familiarity and wonder his closeness evoked in her. She remembered other mornings…mornings long ago when she'd awakened in this same position, mornings when she'd turned over and they had made sweet love before they were both fully awake.

  She closed her eyes, holding back a deep sigh of sadness, of regret. She wanted to turn over now, watch his eyes flutter open in surprise and pleasure as she stroked the length of his body.

  She'd known from the very beginning that this trip was a big mistake. She'd dreaded spending time with Luke, had feared that the close quarters would reawaken the old bitterness, the ancient unhappy memories of yesterday. What she hadn't expected was the reawakening of her passion for him, the rediscovery of her love for him.

  Oh, God, how she wanted to awaken every morning with his arms wrapped around her. How she wanted back those Sunday mornings that Danny had remembered, when the three of them snuggled together in the bed and their love for one another had filled the room. She wanted back those minutes…hours…days they had shared…days before things went bad, before their joy had soured.

  She squeezed her eyes more tightly closed, knowing such dreams were ridiculous. She couldn't go back and reclaim what might have been. Luke had stated his opinion the other day, when he'd said he couldn't get back with her, not even for Danny's sake.

  Her breath suddenly caught in her throat as Luke sighed and stirred against her. The pressure of his hand cupping her breast subtly increased and in horror Sherri felt her nipple tighten and surge as if welcoming his touch. Still, she remained unmoving, allowing herself the luxury of his touch, knowing she was a fool, and not caring.

  He shifted, pressing the length of his body more firmly against her back. She could feel the polished heat of his chest, the muscular length of his legs curved into hers, and the potent evidence of desire through the silky material of his boxers.

  With one swift jerk, she moved to escape the intimacy…flailing wildly as she fell from the bed and thudded to the floor.

  Luke raised himself on one elbow, his blue eyes dancing in amusement. "Good morning," he said and the brightness of his eyes made her wonder just how long he had been awake.

  She started to hiss a reply, but stopped as Danny's head popped over the side of the upper bunk. His eyes widened as he spied Sherri sprawled on the floor. He clapped a hand over his mouth to still a bubble of giggles. "Mom, did you fall out of bed?" he asked incredulously.

  "I kicked her out," Luke teased. "She's a blanket hog. She was stealing all the covers."

  Danny's giggles escaped the confines of his hand. "Sometimes when I sleep with Mom, she steals all the blankets off me and I wake up shivering all over."

  "I most certainly do not," Sherri exclaimed, getting up off the floor and glaring at them both. She was relieved that Danny looked fine and whatever ailment he'd suffered the night before had apparently been relieved by a good night's sleep. "And just for that, while I'm dressing, you two are in charge of breakfast." She grabbed her clothes for the day and disappeared into the bathroom.

  Once in the privacy of the bathroom, she dressed slowly, trying to still her heartbeat, which continued to race from the effect of awakening in Luke's arms. She took several deep breaths, willing her blood to slow its race through her veins.

  They had another ten days left of the trip. Ten days. Surely she could keep her emotions in check for that length of time? Surely she could survive being with him, loving him, and not make a complete fool of herself?

  Once they were home, she and Luke would go back to their own lives and eventually she would forget these three weeks, forget that she still loved Luke. All she had to do was make it through the next ten days.

  * * *r />
  For the first three days, it had been relatively easy for Sherri to keep herself distant from Luke, she reflected upon waking early one morning. They had spent the days exploring, taking hikes in the area and visiting with other campers in the park. The Wilsons had left several days before, Karen giving Sherri a strong goodbye hug as she reminded Sherri to live every moment to the fullest. God knows we've tried, Sherri thought. Each night the three of them had fallen into bed, too exhausted for small talk or dreams.

  Luke had confiscated Sherri's camera and spent most of his time taking photographs of Danny…Danny perched on a huge rock, his arms outstretched as if to embrace the entire world, Danny on an observation platform with the splendid canyon at his back, Danny asleep, a smile of pleasant dreams decorating his little face.

  They'd been good days…wonderful days, and when her love for Luke had intruded, Sherri had resolutely shoved it aside, refusing to acknowledge it. She wanted nothing to interfere in this opportunity to spend quality time with her son. She didn't want her own weakness and underlying sadness to taint his utter happiness at the three of them being together again like a real family.

  Luke had maintained an emotional distance that made it easier for Sherri. He had been pleasant, but there seemed to be a new wall between them…one Sherri didn't try to breach. The distance made it easier.

  She now crept out of bed, leaving the two men in her life sleeping in the top bunk. She stood for a moment looking at them. Luke was flat on his back, sleeping with his mouth slightly open. She smiled smugly. Danny was in the exact same position as his father, a miniature Luke. For a moment, she allowed her heart to expand with the totality of her love for both of them. Then she quietly turned away and went into the bathroom.

  She showered quickly and dressed in the bathroom, hoping she didn't awaken either of them. It was Christmas morning and their last day here. She wanted to fix an extra-special breakfast to begin the day's festivities.

  By the time she had placed a cinnamon bread wreath in the oven, she heard Luke up and in the shower. Christmas morning. She stared out the window. It seemed odd to be celebrating the holiday without snow. It was definitely odd to be sharing the holiday with the three of them together. Odd, but so nice. Since their divorce, they had shared Danny on Christmas day. Sherri got him in the morning, and Luke picked him up at noon and kept him until the next morning. It would be nice to spend the day not watching the clock, worrying about shoving all the Christmas holiday into too few hours.

  "Merry Christmas."

  She turned to see Luke standing behind her, a soft smile curving his lips. "Merry Christmas to you, too." She smiled, suddenly self-conscious and walked back to the oven, checking the raising, browning wreath.

  "Something smells good," he said, sitting down at the table.

  "Cinnamon bread," she answered, trying not to notice that all she could smell was the scent of his shampoo, the musky sweetness of his cologne. "It should be ready in just a few minutes. Want a cup of coffee?" She didn't wait for his answer, but instead busied herself getting him a cup.

  "It seems strange, having Christmas without any presents," Luke said. He smiled appreciatively as she set his coffee before him.

  "Danny was insistent, though."

  "I know, this trip is all the present he wanted." Luke smiled. "He's a good kid."

  "Hey, are you guys talking about me?" Danny stumbled into the kitchen area, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

  "Nah, we've got better things to talk about," Luke teased, drawing the little boy against his legs and rubbing the top of his head affectionately.

  "I was just wondering who we could get to put together the Christmas tree that's in a box in the back of the closet," Sherri said, laughing as Danny's eyes lit up.

  "You brought a tree?" he asked.

  Sherri nodded. "You said no presents, but you didn't say anything about a Christmas tree." She smiled at her son. "Why don't you get dressed and see if you can figure out how to decorate a funky little artificial tree and make it look good."

  "Cool!" Danny disappeared into the bedroom.

  "I can't believe you thought to bring a tree," Luke said, smiling and shaking his head. "Although it shouldn't surprise me. You prepare for everything."

  She looked at him sharply, but realized he wasn't criticizing, only making a statement of fact. "It just didn't seem right not to have a little Christmas with us."

  Luke nodded, then smiled. "Remember Danny's first Christmas? We lived in that crappy little apartment on Second Avenue and didn't have enough money for a Christmas tree?"

  Sherri sat down across from him, a smile curving her lips. "I remember. You brought home a scraggly evergreen limb and we decorated it with popcorn and tin foil."

  "And Danny kept trying to eat the foil."

  "And the tree kept falling down and losing needles," Sherri added with a small laugh.

  Luke's gaze was soft. "We had some good times, didn't we?"

  She nodded, unable to speak, grateful when Danny came flying back into the kitchen with the boxed tree in his arms. As Luke and Sherri watched, Danny put together the plastic tree. Once it was together, he carefully placed the string of miniature lights on the branches, then stepped back and eyed it critically. "It needs something else," he said thoughtfully. He rummaged in one of the kitchen drawers and removed a handful of construction paper, markers, a pair of scissors and a container of paste. "If we each make an ornament, it will make the tree prettier."

  Luke frowned down at the paper. "I don't know how to make an ornament," he protested.

  "You gotta try, Dad." Danny looked at the two of them, then back at the tree. "This is the first time in a long time that we have a tree that belongs to all three of us. A family tree."

  Luke grinned at Sherri and shook his head. "I think we have the makings of a true con artist here."

  She laughed and for the next few minutes they all concentrated on making their ornaments. "Dad, you hang yours first," Danny instructed when they were all finished.

  Luke had made a Santa Claus in an airplane and Sherri had made a snowman flying a kite. She smiled at Luke as she hung hers, realizing that although they were miles apart in every other area of their lives, they both were closely attuned to Danny and his love of flight. Danny had made a bird, with wings outstretched and he hung it at the top of the tree, then stood back and smiled. "Now it's perfect," he announced. "I think we should sing some Christmas carols."

  "Great," Luke said, reaching for Danny's hand. Danny reached for Sherri's, and after only a moment's hesitation, Sherri reached for Luke's other hand, uniting them in a circle around the little tree. They sang for a long time. What Luke lacked in tone, he more than made up for in volume, and most of the singing dissolved in laughter.

  By noon, the temperature had climbed out of the thirties and into the forties and they dressed for a final hike. When it had warmed up to almost forty-five degrees and the sun had come out, they left the R.V.

  Since today was their last day here before they began the long trip home, they hiked farther than usual, intent on seeing an unusual rock structure that several fellow campers had told them about.

  After nearly an hour's hike, they found the structure. They ate a picnic lunch that Sherri had stored in her backpack, then began the long walk back.

  What neither Sherri nor Luke had considered was how quickly the weather could change. The sun had disappeared and a frigid wind had taken its place. It now bore down on their bare heads, whistled between them and made the walk seem interminably long.

  "You doing okay?" Luke asked, turning around to check on her.

  She nodded and pulled her coat around her neck. "I think we overdid it a bit. I definitely smell snow in the air."

  Luke nodded and grinned. "What about you, partner? You okay?" he asked Danny, who rode his back like a baby panda bear, his face snuggled into the warmth of Luke's neck.

  "I'm okay. I'm just cold and tired. At least we got to see that rattlesnake,
" he added with exhausted enthusiasm.

  Sherri laughed. "Yeah, that really made my day. I'm just glad he didn't decide to stay and eat lunch with us."

  Danny giggled. "I think we scared him more than he scared us," he observed.

  "As far as I'm concerned, it was an even match on scaring each other," Sherri replied. "I will never turn over another rock in my life." She breathed a sigh of relief as the R.V. park came into sight. "The first thing I'm going to do is make a huge pan of hot cocoa."

  "I think I'll take a little nap," Danny said, his face pinched with weariness.

  Minutes later, Danny was tucked in for his nap and Sherri and Luke sat at the kitchen table, steaming mugs of the sweet chocolate drink before them. The tiny multicolored lights of the little Christmas tree lent a cheerful sparkle to the kitchen area. "I've never known a nine-year-old who decides on his own he wants to take a nap," Luke observed.

  "It used to be a fight, when he was smaller. Since he got sick, he's learned to listen to the rhythms of his body. He knows when he needs rest." Sherri sipped her drink. "I can't believe this is our last day."

  "It's gone fast, hasn't it?"

  "I just hope this trip has been everything he dreamed it would be."

  Luke smiled. "He told me this morning that he'd had the 'bestest' time in his whole life."

  Sherri smiled. "I know it's one Christmas I'll always remember." She flushed and looked down at the tabletop. "I'm glad we've had this time together, Luke. Time to put the past behind us…let go of the bitterness."

  He nodded, his gaze lingering on her face. Clearing his throat, he leaned back in his chair. "It will probably be hard for Danny to adjust to life at home, with no helicopter rides and no Grand Canyon." His unspoken implication was there…the fact that Danny would have to adjust again to divorced parents.

  "He'll do just fine. School restarts in a couple of days and we'll get back to our normal routines." Sherri leaned back in her chair and looked at Luke. His features were as sweetly familiar to her as her own…and yet there seemed to be a new strength etched there, a kind of peace she'd never seen before. Her rediscovered love for him rose inside her, painful in its intensity. She struggled against it. "What about you? Will you be off on another assignment?" She was grateful her voice displayed none of her inner turmoil.