Citadel

by Martin Ash

  Until now.

  In his obsessed probings Feikermun had succeeded in penetrating further than any man before into the dark and secret labyrinths of Selph. Fuelled by gidsha, his mind crazed with the lust for power, he had stumbled upon the immeasurable reservoirs of raw potential, the teeming energies, the Chaotic streams of yet-to-be or never-to-be.

  Probably only half-guessing at what he had found, he sensed something of the power he had uncovered and plainly believed he could command it. He experimented, played, struggled; and the forces of Selph began to stir. With Feikermun as the unwitting conduit they began to see through into the formed world.

  Feikermun brought disharmony. The Avari perceived this, and the immense threat these premature stirrings of Selph represented. They moved to prevent him. But such were the energies he toyed with that, by a single thought, a single wish, Feikermun stopped them. His blind, furious impulse caused time to cease for the Avari. They were frozen in stasis, and in the same instant that he had formed the wish, his instinctive response to their intrusion, Feikermun had departed Selph, had returned to the formed world and Dhaout. But, as he propelled himself from the Citadel, the idea of stopping the Avari was carried out also, crystallized, a physical thought held static in time: the green amber, the Amber of Selph.

  These things Sermilio told me as we stood beside the road in the blaze of a glorious and melancholy sunset which outshone the amber light all around. And the black simultaneously overhead, confounding perception and defying possibility, seemed to draw me upwards, into an unknown reach, an unfathomable nowhere.

  ‘I brought the amber,’ I said, and Sermilio looked at me with surprise and hope. ‘I received your note, though I did not know to what it referred, nor who had sent it. And I came here for, as I thought, inescapable reasons. I brought the amber without knowing its significance.’

  ‘Then you have it?’

  ‘I had it. Feikermun took it from me.’

  Sermilio’s face fell. ‘Feikermun has it? Where?’

  ‘Somewhere within his palace, I believe.’

  He clapped his hand to his brow, then swept back his long fair locks. ‘This is bad, but perhaps not all is lost. When he took it from you, did he display unusual interest, excessive covetousness, excitement?’

  ‘He regarded it as a beautiful object which he desired to possess, I would say. His intention was to humiliate me. He gave no indication that there was anything more than that.’

  ‘Good.’

  ‘Is Feikermun aware of the significance of this artefact, of its true nature and origin?’

  ‘No. We must be thankful that he does not know what he has done.’

  ‘Does anyone?’

  I believe not. When the amber was cast into your world it did not pass with Feikermun. It went’ - he spread his hands and hunched his shoulders - ‘somewhere. Randomly.’

  ‘And Wirm came upon it, and then sold it to me.’

  ‘It is curious that an associate of Feikermun’s should stumble upon it. Perhaps not entirely coincidence. But fortunately he did not know what it was he had.’

  ‘When I brought the amber back to Wirm I was attacked. Not by Wirm, but by the henchmen of a man named Vecco, who was Wirm’s guest. At the time I did not know why he attacked me, but he had seen the amber. Could it be that he knew what it was?’

  ‘Vecco ... Vecco ... He may have been an agent of the Scrin.’

  ‘The Scrin know of the amber?’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ said Sermilio. ‘And they seek it, for with it they would hold us forever prisoners in their grasp. What was Vecco’s relationship to Wirm?’

  ‘It is hard to say. I believed they were confederates, but following Vecco’s abortive attempt to murder me, Wirm had him executed.’

  We had begun to walk slowly along the road, side by side. Sermilio’s head was bowed, deep in thought, his fabulous wings swaying upon his back, rustling softly. I glanced back over my shoulder. No longer could I see the temple-like structure or the figure in grey who was I, watching me. And no longer was I a babe, clumsy-fleshed, nor a child. I had come a long way along the road, though I still did not know where it led. Ahead I saw a cluster of buildings materializing in the bleakness.

  ‘In Dhaout,’ I said, ‘there have been strange manifestations. Feikermun seems on the verge of power, mooted to become a god. There is tremendous conflict. His enemies have attacked him in force. I saw a creature appear out of the air, a savage, rat-like humanish thing which attacked and killed a woman, then vanished. Was this Scrin?’

  Sermilio gave a half-smile. ‘Almost certainly. Feikermun has inadvertently opened the way out of the Citadel. Though there are still barriers, the Scrin are discovering ways of breaking through. Feikermun has no control over them. If they are not stopped they will soon break through in force. Then they will unwork the very fabric of Creation, reduce the cosmos to primordial Chaos where no aspect of life or intelligence can exist.’

  ‘Then surely they also will cease to exist?’

  ‘The Scrin do not wish to exist. Their sole purpose is to destroy - everything, including themselves. They exist only for as long as others exist. When all else is gone, the Scrin die ’

  ‘The creature I saw - do the Scrin always take this form?’

  ‘The Scrin take whatever form you perceive, whatever your consciousness can accept. As do we. This is hard to explain, but we exist only as you imagine us, whether you are aware of having imagined it or not. Somewhere in your mind you have perceived the Avari as winged humans, fair and attractive to the eye. Therefore, that is what we are to you. The Scrin—’

  ‘I had barely heard of the Scrin until now.’

  ‘Yet somewhere within you was an image, and this you saw when the Scrin creature manifested. We do not truly exist within the scope of your experience; we are expressions of an other order, an other reality. We do not even have a name, except that you have given us one.’

  ‘Many humans believe in you as guardian spirits, put into the world to guide mankind.’

  ‘In a sense this is true. In a sense, you are also us. You descend into substance, into the physical world. We watch over you as best we can for in substance you lose virtually all awareness of what you truly are. At the end, when your flesh decays and you can no longer hold the substance, we who are not substance guide you back. You are absorbed then, all of your experiences are absorbed, back into the One Mind - that which underlies all Creation, that which is Creation. This way It learns, It grows, It unfolds, and gradually, after an infinity has passed, It will perhaps come to understand Its nature and purpose. I speculate only, for such things cannot be known by nodes of consciousness such as we.’

  ‘But if Feikermun succeeds, if the Scrin succeed, everything will end.’

  ‘That is so.’

  ‘Then what is to be done?’

  ‘Firstly the amber must be brought back here, into the Citadel, in order that we can be freed to confront the Scrin.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘That is for you to determine, Dinbig.’ Like Aniba previously, he called me by my own name, letting me know that he was informed as to my duplicity. ‘You say Feikermun is under assault?’

  I nodded.

  ‘He must not die. If he does, access to the Citadel will be lost to you. You must protect him from his enemies, find out what he has done with the amber, take it from him without his knowledge and return with it here. Whatever happens, you must not let it fall into Scrin hands, nor allow anyone to destroy it. If it is broken, we are lost... all is lost.’

  We were among the buildings now. It was a small village, by all outward appearances uninhabited. I had been here before, in a dream; I could not tell if this was a continuation of the dream.

  ‘I may not be here when you come,’ said Sermilio, ‘so I will tell you now what I can. Not everything, just enough. That way, should things go wrong, you can tell our enemies little. You are to bring the amber here.’ We turned and walked down a narrow path at the base of whi
ch was a low glade backed by dark trees. In the centre of the glade was a well. ‘Bring the amber here, to the well.’

  I approached the low circular stone wall which rimmed the well, and peered over. Below me, far down, ringed by twisting tendrils and brown and black leaves, was a perfect circle of water which reflected my own image. But it was not Cormer of Chol who gazed back at me; it was my true reflection, that of Ronbas Dinbig. As I contemplated this the water rippled and stirred as though something beneath had disturbed its surface. The image slithered away. There was a rustling sound, and threshing, splashing. I heard a baby cry, then silence.

  I straightened.

  ‘You must enter the well with the amber,’ said Sermilio. ‘That is all I can tell you.’

  ‘Enter it?’ I felt a chill.

  He put a hand reassuringly upon my arm. ‘Remember, this is not the world you know. Do not expect or anticipate, for nothing will be as you are accustomed to. You are in the Citadel and this is the Well of Selph. From here all things come, and it is to here that the amber must be returned. If you achieve this you will know what to do next. But do not shrink do not merely drop the amber in. You must bring it and then proceed. If you are successful, then we may be released.’

  I looked up to the sky, to the countless suspended winged figures diminishing into specks in the high dark distance. ‘Why are you at liberty, Sermilio, when all these others are trapped?’

  ‘There were a few of us who were not caught when Feikermun unknowingly formed the amber. A very few. We are the ones engaged in bringing you here, safely, with the amber.’

  I recalled my experience in the marsh at Guling Mire, when I had been rescued from certain death by the pale creature on the toppled bough. I mentioned this to Sermilio.

  ‘That was one of us,’ he said.

  ‘He was not like you.’

  ‘As I said before, he was as you perceived him.’

  ‘And again, in the tower in Stonemarker.’

  Sermilio nodded. ‘There were enemies close by. You could have come to harm. You were not supposed to see the Avari but Chaos is manifesting. We have little control now.’ He stepped back quickly, spreading his wings. ‘I can stay with you no longer. Remember, you must bring the amber and enter the well. You will be helped if it is possible.’

  He rose from the ground, effortlessly, the great wings beating back and forth, and passed into the reemerging sunset, until he was no more than a black, familiar shape against the light, and then, nothing.

  FIFTEEN

  I moved away from the well, suddenly terribly aware that I was alone.

  The bodies filled the air all around. The blackness above, the amber light and the sunset - I cannot explain, but I saw all these things, even though the one manifestation of light should have excluded the others - the sunset cast its glow upon the land so that everything was stained: the buildings, the ground, the trees, the motionless Avari, the sky itself. Bloodlight, not glorious now, but deathly. An ocean of blood. Blood, the Source, the Life, misconceived and now spilled and wasted. Death, boundless and red mantling all.

  I climbed the sloping path to the little cluster of apparently unoccupied buildings, then stood at their edge looking out across a bleak plain. The road ended here, I realized for the first time. I gazed back along it, filled with remorse. I could see little; so much was obscured. But I knew now that the well was my death, just as the road had been my life. Here I stood. No matter what I chose to do, or believed I chose, I would come here in the end, inexorably. And if I acted wrongly, if I failed to learn or understand, I would return here again and again until I discovered the right way.

  There was movement out on the plain. A terrible sight. I was upon a low ridge, gazing across a wide landscape. Before me Feikermun rode upon a woman’s shoulders, beating her with a many-tongued lash as she staggered forward, so that the blood ran down her back and over her buttocks and legs. He was charging into battle, laughing maniacally. He hacked with a sabre at men, women, children, cutting them down, carving a gigantic swathe through humanity’s hordes, which fled before him. Beside him came his beasts, pillaging, raping, mutilating for the sheer perverse joy of it. And behind them loped and lurched the demonic Scrin, gorging on the ruined flesh, eating the wounded alive. They had no need to do anything more - Feikermun did their killing for them. Blood rained from the skies; the rivers ran red, clogged with bloated, mutilated corpses; the roads were choked with those trying to flee. But the world was small and there was nowhere to run.

  I watched in helpless despair.

  What can I do? What can I do?

  Feikermun twisted upon the woman’s back and saw me. He grinned and raised a bloodied fist. ‘Ha-ha-ha! Do you dream, Cormer of Choi? Do you dream?’

  I stepped back. The dreadful scene was fading. The air was filled with bodies, rushing by, but I saw nothing. I heard the frantic beating of many wings, the watery threshing; smelt the blackness, the wet; heard the screams; so many screaming and nowhere to run.

  ‘Do you dream?

  Do I?

  *

  The water parted, just for a moment, and I looked up and saw Wirm on the jetty above me. He gazed down, pitiless, a cold smile upon his lips. And, yes, there were others beside him. There was Jaktem, and Ilian. And there was I, watching me die.

  And I sank back, threshing, my arms and legs held by the ropes, and the eels devoured my flesh, smothering me, and all was a red blur, Wirm seen through a film of clouding red water, the slippery shapes, the water entering my lungs, eels burrowing into my eyes, my mouth, my innards, and my tongueless roars became gurgles and the mouths tore at my dying flesh.

  ‘Do you dream, Cormer of Chol? Do you dream?

  ‘I do not know. Help me!’

  ‘Bring the amber to the well.’

  ‘I cannot. I have died.’

  ‘Yes, many times, and many times more until you do what must be done.’

  I cried. My mother sang. The bells rang overhead. I was waiting for the world to come into being. Aniba stood before me.

  ‘No, we must not touch!’

  ‘But why? I need you. I want you.’

  ‘I am not what you think.’

  ‘Then what are you?’

  She was silent.

  ‘I want to understand. I want you.’

  ‘Bring the amber to the well.’

  ‘I am dreaming.’

  ‘Do you dream, Cormer of Chol?'

  ‘I am dreaming that I have died? Or am I dreaming that I have lived?’

  ‘Bring the amber, or all will end.’

  I was falling, and I saw my tiny body stretched upon the floor far below, waiting for my self to arrive.

  ‘Speak! Tell me what she said!’

  The world reverberated with shocking pain. Still all dark. Resounding. Cudgel-blows smashing that which was I from side to side. And I was trapped, not knowing where, except that flesh was my prison.

  ‘Tell me, curse you, you vile dog! What were her words?’

  Again the blow, the stinging, shattering pain. And the thirst, the shrieking in my mind, my mouth and throat a parched desert of fine grit.

  ‘Her name, Cormer of Chol! What is her name? Speak it, or I will roast you alive!’

  Her name!

  I was being shaken roughly, no more blows on my face. My eyes opened for a moment, caught the savage figure of Feikermun towering over me, eyes fierce and mad, mouth a grimace, red hair matted and wild.

  I have been inside your mind, I thought. I know your soul. You do not know what you have done.

  His hand rose, a blur above my face, and he slapped my cheeks, one, then the other, forcing me back to awareness through a world of pain, out of the gidsha dream.

  ‘Her name! What is her name?’

  ‘Her - name - is - Aniba.’ I could barely speak the words, my mouth was so parched and swollen.

  ‘Aniba! Aniba!’ Feikermun thrust me back and rose. Only now was I aware that he had been holding me up in a half-sitting p
osition, his fist bunching my tunic beneath my throat.

  I hit the floor hard and the world swirled and spun.

  ‘Aniba! Aah, Ani-iibaaa!’

  I could feel the thud of his footsteps upon the heavy floorboards. With difficulty I forced myself up on one elbow. Feikermun strutted around the room, his hands clasped beneath his chin, his face upturned, repeating that name again and again, enraptured. I realized then that he loved her, if such a man was capable of love; that he was wholly infatuated by her - but he did not know her.