The Only Way To Live

by M. A. Innes

  I scoffed. “I’m not walking into that minefield again. I’d be happy to talk about my week.”

  His was scary.

  Derek giggled as he pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. “My work is fascinating.”

  That was one word for it.

  “I did lots of paperwork this week and only slipped out a few times.” I’d been very professional.

  Laughing, Derek parked and turned off the car. “You should just find someone else to do the paperwork until Ethan’s ready to take over and you can go back to working in the shop full time. That’s what you like best anyway.”

  “Because he’s not ready yet and I love seeing how the business has grown. It’s just difficult.” It was like I’d turned around one day and all I had time for was the paperwork. “Jessica makes it easier, but some days I’m just a bit antsy to escape the office.”

  Derek smiled, nodding. “She still refusing to let you name her as a manager?”

  “Yes, she wants to be called my secretary.” And I wasn’t stupid enough to question her on that decision.

  “Come on, Daddy.” Derek giggled when I groaned. “No more work tonight. We’re playing hooky.”

  “Stop calling me that.”

  I must not have sounded stern enough because his grin widened. “If I’m good, Daddy, can I have dessert?”

  For the love of…

  Wait.

  “Is that what you’re…I mean…” He was teasing, right?

  I knew Ethan was just having fun poking at me, but Derek was too, right?

  “Are you asking what I’m into?” The look on his face said I probably should say no.

  “Never mind.” I forced the questions out of my head. “You said you were hungry. We’re going to miss our reservations if we don’t get going.”

  That didn’t chase the smile off his face, but he didn’t seem like he had an issue with me changing the subject. “Yes, sir.”

  That wasn’t much better than calling me Daddy.

  “Stop that.” I shot him a frustrated look. “People are going to get the wrong idea.”

  Yeah, I needed to work on sounding more stern because he giggled again. “You don’t care what people think.” He leaned in closer. “But I’m very curious about why this conversation makes you squirm. I’ll be good, though, and I won’t ask. I can’t promise not to flirt, however.”

  He’d lost his marbles.

  How was I supposed to respond to that? “Dinner. We were going to have dinner.”

  “Do we have a deal, Daddy?”

  I’d thought raising a gay, kinky teenage boy would have been the death of me, but Derek was taking the cake.

  “No asking odd questions, Pest.” I couldn’t remember exactly what he’d said, my brain was clearly not keeping up with the insanity, but that seemed to work because he nodded. His smile said he’d won the lottery, though, which was slightly worrying.

  “Flirting is more fun than questions anyway.”

  What had I gotten myself into?

  * * * *

  I must have somehow pissed off my guardian angel. That was the only reason I could think of for how I’d come to be sitting at dinner with the pushy flirt.

  “Stop that.” I’d said that more tonight than through Ethan’s entire childhood.

  Derek didn’t seem to understand what that phrase meant, though, because he kept grinning. “But he thinks you’re cute and I had to make sure he understood you were mine.” There was the barest pause. “Tonight, that is.”

  For goodness’ sake.

  “He looks like he’s twelve. You look older than him.” And that was saying something. “I’m not a perv.”

  Derek rolled his eyes. “He’s clearly over eighteen and the way he’s been sizing you up all night says he’s no virgin. Wanting that ass would not make you a perv.”

  “I don’t want his ass.” Just because it was round enough that I couldn’t ignore it didn’t mean I was doing anything…well, like that.

  Derek laughed as he pushed his fork around his nearly empty plate. “Tell that to someone who didn’t just watch you lick your lips like he had an ice cream cone back there.”

  “Good grief.”

  He shook his head, still smiling. “Stop reacting like you’re eighty, not forty-something.”

  Most of the time it felt like I was closer to eighty.

  “You’re being ridiculous. I’m just acting like a grown-up.” There was nothing wrong with that.

  “No, a grown-up would admit they found his ass amazing and would simply shrug it off.” Derek gave me a pointed look as he sipped his water. “You, on the other hand, are wiggling around like a kid who got caught sneaking peeks at the Christmas presents.”

  “I am not.” Derek just kept pushing me off balance.

  I forced myself to sink deeper into the seat and took a drink of my Coke. We needed to move this conversation in a different direction. It’d been easier when we’d both been concentrating on eating. “I think we need to talk about you dating more. I cannot be the only person you know on a Saturday night that would want to go to dinner. You’re a very interesting and attractive young man. Why aren’t you dating more?”

  His song and dance earlier couldn’t be everything.

  “You’ll never find the right guy just sitting home unless you’re like Ethan and happen to run into Mr. Right as your roommate.” I was pretty sure Jules wasn’t his Mr. Right, so that wouldn’t work for Derek.

  He chuckled. “Jules would probably kill me and hide my body someplace weird.”

  “It’s the quiet ones you have to worry about.” I was joking, but Derek laughed.

  “Yeah, like Christopher.”

  “Don’t want to know.” I shook my head. “Nope. Not my business.”

  And from the teasing glances and blushes between those two, I was pretty sure I didn’t want to know. It might give Christopher a heart attack if I did.

  Derek giggled. “Yeah, I can see that.”

  Thank God for small favors.

  “But you still need to get out and meet people.” He was too young to turn into a homebody. “I’ve heard the stories. All you do is work.”

  He might enjoy his work, but that didn’t mean it needed to be his whole life.

  He snorted, setting his drink down as he laughed. “Pot meet kettle. All you do is work and I found you at home in your pajamas at five on a Saturday night.”

  So maybe he was right.

  “You’re young.”

  That earned me another scoff. “I know people who are just starting to have kids at your age. Remember? You’re not old, just hiding from dating.”

  “I’m not hiding. And what about you?”

  He grinned.

  It was a bit more wicked than I was expecting. “I’m on a date with a handsome man. So I have no complaints about my life.”

  I was not blushing.

  It was hot in the restaurant.

  “This is dinner between friends.” There were so many reasons this wasn’t a date I couldn’t even list them all.

  He shook his head. “I asked you out and picked you up. You’re squirming and I’m picturing what it would be like to kiss you. I think this feels like a date.”

  What?

  That might not have been just in my head because Derek chuckled and leaned against the table. “Why does that shock you? You’ve known I like guys from the first day I interviewed with you.”

  “I’m entirely too old for you. And too straight for you.” This was such a ridiculous conversation.

  He rolled his eyes, which just made him look younger. “What part of I like older men did you miss? The Daddy thing? Oh yeah, that’s hot. I’m not into age play or anything like that, but a bit of kink is fun.”

  Forty was too young to have a heart attack, right?

  “But I’m…” I wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence. “People don’t…”

  “You have to be the most oblivious man I’ve ever met.” Derek seemed t
o find that cute. “Just about everyone who goes into the shop checks you out and I personally know a dozen guys who’ve flirted with you, trying to tempt you to the fabulous side.”

  “That’s silly.” Wasn’t it? “Some people are friendly.”

  “People are not that friendly.” He gave me an odd look. “You really don’t see it, do you?”

  “See what? People just smile and tease. You can’t take that seriously.”

  “Half this town has tried to date you.” He enunciated it slowly, carefully breaking it down like I wasn’t that bright.

  “No, they haven’t. I’ll give you the waitress at the diner and my neighbor, but that’s it.” And I wasn’t planning on pursuing anything with either of them.

  “The blonde? Remember her, Daddy? I know two guys who talked to you last month who were frustrated they couldn’t catch your attention.” When I stared in confusion, he kept going. “They thought since the rumor mill said you hadn’t been dating women they might have a chance.”

  He was crazy.

  Wasn’t he?

  Chapter 5

  Derek

  How did you get to be that old and still clueless?

  “You know it takes a certain level of delusional to not see all that. I’m impressed.” And confused.

  When he just stared at me, I tried to think of another way to make him see the truth. “You know you’re attractive, right? Ethan looks a lot like you and I know you can see how attractive he is.”

  Ethan was hot, but I wasn’t going to make his dad admit that.

  That was pushing it even for me.

  Sean nodded slowly, so I continued. “Then people will respond to that. You’re nice and successful. When you combine all that, you’re someone a variety of people will want to date. Especially when you don’t come across as overly gay or overly straight. It kind of makes people curious.”

  Sean blushed and fidgeted in his seat again. If he’d been in the garage, I knew he’d be reaching for a tool and wandering around. Maybe that was the reason I’d never noticed how nervous he got around certain topics.

  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen him away from the garage.

  “People flirt.” He said it automatically. “It doesn’t mean anything. You flirt with everyone.”

  Okay, he had a bit of a point.

  “I like flirting, yes. But there’s a difference between flirting for fun and flirting for a specific purpose like getting a sexy older man to notice me.” When all I got was a blank stare, I decided that we needed to approach this from a different angle yet again.

  “Let’s get the check and finish this conversation at your house.” I made sure the words sounded innocent. If that was cheating since he didn’t seem to read subtlety well, I wasn’t going to feel guilty. He needed to be shaken up a bit.

  That had him looking around, finally seeming to realize where we were. “Yes, that’s probably a good idea.”

  I knew him well enough to guess that he was mentally coming up with ways of changing the topic. I might let him for a little while, but once we got back to his house, all bets were off. If he were in the closet or simply private I’d have left it alone, but Sean was living in a parallel universe and he needed to come visit reality for a while.

  If he decided he really was straight, that was fine. I’d be disappointed, but I’d deal with it. I just wasn’t convinced he was. Hell, just the way he’d watched the waiter’s ass made that questionable. No straight guy I’d ever hung out with studied a flirty little twink that way.

  Well, except that one chiropractor, but he’d watched everyone walk to analyze them. It’d been weird. Who knew you could be judgmental about so many innocent things?

  But no matter what Sean said, he was drawn to younger…people.

  He just didn’t want to admit it.

  There was nothing wrong with being a sexy Daddy. But he had to come to that realization himself.

  Getting the check took longer than I thought because the little flirt kept pushing in on my date. He gave Sean a teasing smile and cocked his hips to draw attention to his dick. “Are you sure you don’t want something sweet to finish off your evening?”

  God, he needed a new line.

  I must have popped some of Sean’s bubble because he was watching the waiter, confused about what to say. Great. Grabbing the check he was waving around, I cleared my throat. “Thanks, babe. But I think he’s got all the sugar he can handle.”

  That earned me a not-too-subtle glare and stilted smile. “Of course, I’ll take that when you’re ready.”

  I didn’t give him time to start tempting Sean again. “I’m ready.”

  Quickly pulling out my card, I handed it over and smiled. “If you could hurry, we’re both…excited to get home.”

  Sean was finally getting it because he was fighting the urge to smile. He might be confused about a lot of things, but he didn’t mind two twinks duking it out over him.

  Men.

  “Of course.” I got a polite nod, but Sean earned another smile.

  “He’s starting to push on my last nerve.” Under other circumstances, I’d have fun flirting in front of someone. I’d have fun doing more than that too, but he was just trying to wiggle in on my date. That wasn’t going to work.

  Sean was mine.

  For now, at least.

  We’d see what happened when we got back to his place. I raised one eyebrow and rested my elbows on the table. “You’re encouraging that little flirt. You’re my date, don’t forget that.”

  Sean chuckled. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Liar.” I rolled my eyes but gave him a teasing smile. “Do you really want to be in the middle while two sexy men fight over you?”

  He shook his head, smiling, but his denial wasn’t believable. There was just something a bit too curious in his expression. “He’s probably trying to get a bigger tip and thought I was paying.”

  Possibly.

  If Sean were a lot uglier.

  “I think I’m going to have to talk to Ethan and see when you might have been hit on the head.” Something had obviously gotten banged up at some point.

  Sean groaned dramatically which had me fighting not to laugh. “Do not tell Ethan about this. I’m still hearing about the silly blonde.”

  She’d been persistent, not silly.

  “Well, I saved you from the blonde, didn’t I?” I knew my smile looked wicked when he slowly nodded. “I think that deserves a reward.”

  Luckily, the waiter came back over, so my teasing threat remained hanging out there, leaving Sean curious. By the time we managed to get away from the terrible flirt and back to the car, I was ready to strike that restaurant off my list.

  “Really, I shouldn’t have to almost mark a date before a waiter gets a hint.” I rolled my eyes as Sean chuckled.

  “You’ve never struck me as the jealous type.” He gave me a curious look as we climbed in the truck.

  “I’m not.” It came out wicked, but I didn’t bother trying to hide that. “I like showing off my toys, but he wasn’t going to play nice.”

  Sean swallowed, clearly not sure how to react to that.

  So I had to keep teasing him.

  As I pulled out of the parking lot, I smiled. “Teasing and flirting are fun as long as everyone understands the rules. He didn’t. I might have been willing to let him look at my toy, but he’d have wanted to take it home.”

  Sean shifted in his seat, and out of the corner of my eye I caught him staring at me again. “Are you always this…possessive of your dates?”

  “Just ones that would be fun to keep.”

  He coughed but refused to back down that time. “I’m not a toy.”

  And there was a hint of the Sean I knew.

  “He didn’t know that. I was pretty clear that you belonged to me. He should’ve backed off.” I rolled my eyes as Sean chuckled.

  “I don’t know how I feel about this toy comparison.”

  If that was his
only issue he definitely wasn’t as straight as he thought he was.

  I glanced over and gave him a flirty grin. “Don’t worry. I’m a switch, so I’ll be your toy when you’re ready.”

  He gave a low groan. “I know better than to ask this. I really do. But switch? I have a feeling there is more than one way to take that.”

  Because he was oblivious, not stupid.

  “There is.” Luckily, I wasn’t afraid to teach a newbie. “In more vanilla relationships that might mean that I like to top and bottom.” I looked over at him as the road started to empty. “I’m assuming you know those terms?”

  He’d raised Ethan to be a healthy and happy gay man, so I was assuming he understood some things.

  When he nodded confidently, I continued. “Well, in this case, I mean that I not only top and bottom, but I can be dominant or submissive depending on the situation.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I basically saw a lightbulb go off over his head. “Ah, that…okay. I understand.”

  And that was vague.

  “It makes it hard to date, but I think it helps in the business. It lets me understand where more people are coming from.” I smiled. “And it can be fun when some shoppers need a push.”

  Like Christopher.

  Not that I was going to traumatize Sean with that right now.

  Sean was too quiet, so as we pulled up at a stoplight, I shifted to focus on him. He was thinking, but I could also see the walls going up. He was shifting into Dad mode, wanting to say the right thing and put some distance between what was happening and his emotions.

  I’d seen it a lot as a confused teenager, and again as Ethan started opening up.

  I was glad he was trying to understand, but I didn’t want my boss back, I wanted wiggly confused Sean.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking, Daddy.” That had him snorting and shooting me a frustrated glare.

  “Stop that.”

  I was never going to agree to that, so I smiled. “You’re thinking too much.”

  “I am not.” He scoffed. “I’m not even sure what you mean. I’m not as sheltered as you seem to think. I understand the basic dynamics of BDSM.”