Jailbird

by Heather Huffman

  Now I just had to figure out where to call him from and how to do so without an audience.

  “Is your brother nice?” Isabel brought me back to the present.

  “Very,” my smile brightened at the thought of him. “He’s a very good man. A lot like Charlie. Only taller.”

  “I want a brother. Or a sister,” Isabel sighed heavily as if her parents had done her a great disservice.

  “Cara’s like a sister,” I reminded her. “Sometimes the sisters God sends us throughout life are better than the ones we’re born with.”

  “Sometimes,” she seemed hesitant. “Do you want breakfast?”

  “Breakfast? Shoot. No. I’m supposed to be at Charlie’s. He’ll think I’m ditching him if I don’t hurry.”

  “Will you be back for dinner tonight?”

  “Promise,” I couldn’t tell her no. The look on her face was too much to resist.

  I grabbed a quick shower and changed into the cotton dress. I really did need at least one more outfit. First batch of jelly sold, I was buying some clothes.

  Charlie was waiting for me, my coffee poured just the way I like it. Beside it was a plate with bacon, eggs and grits. My mouth watered at the sight.

  “Oh you are my hero,” I slid into my seat and patiently waited for him to say grace.

  “So this is what it takes?” he teased after offering a word of thanks for the meal.

  “It’s a good start,” I closed my eyes to savor that first bite. After ten years of prison fare and more than a month of scrounging the forest for edible roots and mushrooms, food had never tasted so good.

  “Okay, so I should feed you well. I shouldn’t touch your neck. Any other tips?”

  “So we’re going there first thing, huh?” I gave him a dirty look. “How about ‘don’t ask too many questions?’ Can we make that a rule?”

  “See, now it’s things like that—and being afraid to face a game warden—that make me wonder what you’re running from.”

  “Something that would hurt me very badly if it found me,” I answered as honestly as I knew how. Going back to prison now would probably kill me.

  “Okay,” he seemed to be processing that.

  “About last night…” I hated to sully a good breakfast with bad conversation, but he seemed determined. “I uh… well… the last time I was alone with a man it wasn’t exactly consensual.”

  “Oh.”

  “I mean, I think he would have killed me if I’d let him. I know he would have,” I took a jagged breath and tried to still my shaking hands. It was amazing how fear could bridge such a span of time. The emotions were still really fresh when I talked about it. Maybe because it was the first time I had talked about it since the trial.

  And that hadn’t gone particularly well for me.

  “I don’t know what to say,” he shook his head. The tormented look in his eyes was almost too much to bear.

  “There’s nothing to say,” I pushed my eggs around my plate. Next thing I knew, I’d been swept into a fierce hug. I was a little startled at first. It wasn’t quite the reaction I was expecting. But I quickly realized it was the reaction I needed. I found myself wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him back. It felt good, and so very safe.

  I burrowed my face into his shoulder and just soaked in the moment.

  “Sorry,” he seemed suddenly self conscious. “I couldn’t seem to help myself.”

  “It’s okay,” I sat back down a little awkwardly. “It was… nice.”

  “Good.”

  “Okay,” I nervously went back to the eggs.

  “So what’s on the agenda for today?”

  “Dandelions?”

  “Wonderful.”

  “Hey Charlie?”

  He paused mid-bite and looked expectantly at me.

  “I’m no good for you. I should walk away from this. You should run.”

  “Is that what you want?”

  “Not at all,” my eyes tried to convey all of the emotions tumbling around inside.

  “Me either.”

  “But there are some things I’m just not ready to tell you.”

  “I want you to tell me, but I’m willing to wait until you’re ready. I don’t think you’re out to hurt me, or Cara. We’ll just feel our way along for the rest.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “No. But I am sure I want to be with you every waking moment. We’ll see where it takes us.”

  I nodded, then turned my attention to the last piece of bacon. If for no other reason than his ability to make breakfast, he was worth taking the chance on.

  “I have a couple of appointments I couldn’t get out of today. One this morning and another this afternoon. Other than that, I was planning on helping today… if you’re not ready to be rid of me, that is.”

  “No, I’m glad you’ll be here. I promised Isabel I’d have dinner with them. I was going to see if you wanted to come, too.”

  “Yeah, that sounds nice,” he flushed happily. Maybe he really did want to be around me as much as I did him.

  After breakfast, Charlie got dressed in slacks and a button-up then headed off for the office. Maybe I should have felt guilty, but his car wasn’t down the driveway before I was on the phone.

  “Hello?” he answered on the third ring. I knew that voice. I’d missed that voice.

  “Ciká'nó,” I replied in our native tongue.

  “Who is this?” he seemed unsure of what his ears were telling him.

  “A friend of your sister’s. Could we meet? This afternoon?”

  “Where?”

  I gave him directions to the nature park where Charlie had taken us fishing. That day seemed like ages ago.

  “That’s a long drive on short notice,” he hesitated.

  “Si vous plait?” I asked please in our mother’s language. Either he’d figure it out or he’d be curious enough to come. Only a handful of people spoke Koasati. Even fewer new Koasati and French.

  “Fine. What time?”

  “Three o’clock.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  “Alí:la mõ,” I thanked him, this time in Koasati again, and hung up the phone. Part of me was really excited at the prospect of seeing my brother. I wondered what was going through his head right now. Did he still love me after all I put him through? Did he know it was me on the phone? Would he be happy to see me or furious?

  Between my nervousness over seeing Conrad and the guilt I was wrestling because I was sneaking around on Charlie to do it, I had myself worked into a regular tizzy by the time Charlie returned from his morning at the office. I had helped myself to his groceries to make lunch—complete with biscuits and dandelion jelly.

  Thunder rumbled in the distance and I realized with a sinking feeling that I would have to make the trek to the woods in the rain.

  Since harvesting more dandelions was out for the day, I borrowed some of Cara’s art supplies and spent the time painting a dandelion on each jar.

  “Very nice,” Charlie surveyed my work. “Do you know where you plan on selling these?”

  “I figured I’d start at the Torres’ vegetable stand,” I tied the final ribbon on the last lid and turned to face him. “I’m open to suggestions, though.”

  “I bet Harvey would let you set some out in his store,” he mused. “And Rita might put a few on her counter. I can ask around for you while I’m in town this afternoon.”

  “Really? Thank you!” I impulsively hugged his neck.

  “Hey, we’re partners…. Remember?” he grabbed me by the waist when I would have moved away. “So, I’ve forgotten where we stand… can I do this?”

  He kissed my jaw, then the corner of my mouth before pausing a breath away from my lips.

  “So long as you realize I’m pure trouble and are completely okay with that,” I murmured.

  “Oh I knew that the minute you left me to sort things out with the game warden,” he chuckled, and then he kissed me.

  “Really? It took you t
hat long to figure it out?” I teased as I pulled away.

  “Maybe I had an inkling when I caught you checking me out in the town square. Not that I can blame you. I am quite the catch,” he tightened his grip around my waist.

  I was absurdly pleased that the action didn’t startle me. Common sense told me this was a passing infatuation for both of us. Time would pass and reality would settle in. But I was here now, in his arms, and it felt delicious.

  “I hate to do this, but I have to head back to the office,” Charlie frowned at the clock as if his displeasure might change its mind.

  “It’s okay. I have a lot to do and I’ll never get anything accomplished with you holding me captive,” I teased, secretly wishing he’d hurry up and leave because I had a long walk ahead of me.

  “Just let me do this one more time,” he kissed me so thoroughly my toes curled, then tapped my nose with his finger and headed out the door. I ran my fingers through my shaggy hair, straightened my dress, and made sure the oven was turned off before heading in the opposite direction.

  Chapter Seven

  I normally welcome time alone with my thoughts. I’m comfortable in silence. But the walk to meet my brother seemed the longest of my life. I’d been so ashamed after the trial I’d refused to see him. He tried to visit for the first year. After that, he wrote for a while. Eventually even the letters stopped.

  I told myself it was for the best that he forget I ever existed. It made sense at the time. Now I saw that if the trial itself hadn’t broken his heart, I surely had in its aftermath.

  The rain hadn’t let up. I was soaked to the bone and shivering by the time I reached the parking lot I’d directed him to. I knew even before I saw him that the driver of the black F-150 was my big brother. I stopped short when I saw it. My stomach clenched and my heart raced. What if he turned me in, or worse… turned me away?

  However much time had changed me, he must have recognized me. The door to the truck opened slowly. He got out, staring at me with his mouth slightly agape. I could almost see the wheels turning in his mind.

  I just stood there, being pelted by the rain and thinking my brother was the biggest, handsomest man in the whole world. For the first time since the night Todd Winslow raped me, tears poured from my eyes. I wished I could read his black eyes from across the parking lot.

  Fear of rejection had held me rooted to my spot. Now the need to reconnect with Conrad overwhelmed that fear and I sprinted towards him. He moved towards me at the same time, his long legs quickly covering the distance between us.

  I threw myself at him and he caught me in mid-air, swinging me around in the kind of hug I used to relish as a little girl.

  “Baby girl,” he finally set me down to look at me, only to pick me back up in another hug. “Oh baby girl…”

  “Conrad, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry,” I couldn’t seem to do much besides chant the same line over and over again. It felt so good to have his strong arms wrapped around me again.

  “Come on, get in the truck. You’re freezing,” his protective instinct kicked in and he reluctantly set me back down so we could climb into his truck.

  “I’m getting your seat wet,” I frowned. “I’m sorry.”

  “You’ve apologized enough for one day,” he gave me a sideways glance as he turned the heat on. “Why don’t you tell me why I attended your funeral last month?”

  “Funny story, that…,” I wrapped my arms around myself and stared at my lap.

  “Then I’m sure I’d like to hear it,” he folded his arms and waited patiently.

  “Where would you like me to start?”

  “Why don’t you give me the recap starting the night of your college graduation? I’m curious to know how I wound up raising a niece with only the instruction to ‘be sure she never knew who her parents were.’ I tried to see you, to write. Why wouldn’t you even talk to me? Didn’t you at least want to know how your daughter was?” The initial joy of knowing I was alive had obviously given way to righteous anger.

  “I thought it was better for both of you if I was out of the picture,” I wasn’t sure how to make him understand. “I’ll do my best to explain, but I have to be back in town in an hour. I don’t want to account for where I’ve been all afternoon.”

  “You’re starting to concern me… maybe you’d better start talking. And you’re crazy if you think I’m going home after an hour.”

  “But I finally have a chance at a life here. And I don’t want that to end.…”

  “So you aren’t planning on coming home?”

  “The reason I have a life is because everyone thinks I’m dead,” I ran my fingers through my hair.

  “Start talking,” he gave me a look that would make a lesser person tremble. Having gown up with that look, I felt pretty immune. Well, mostly immune. I did start explaining.

  I began with the moment I went against my better judgment and accepted Todd’s offer of a ride home. I fumbled my way through the confusion—the terror—of what he’d done to me. And then that horribly sickening moment when he’d put his hands around my throat and started to squeeze. It hadn’t been enough, what he’d done to me. I hadn’t suffered enough. He hated me so much his eyes glowed with it as he began to squeeze the life out of me.

  My hands had desperately fumbled for something, anything, to help set me free. My fingers wrapped around something cool and heavy. I wrenched my body around, using every ounce of strength I had in me to swing my weapon….

  “Turns out it was a tire iron,” I shakily rubbed my temples. I’d been putting a lot of effort into repressing that memory for a really long time. Now it was bubbling at the surface and the emotion threatened to sweep me away.

  “Why on earth didn’t you let me help you?” He asked when he found his voice again.

  “Our tribe has fought so hard for recognition and independence. Todd Winslow was an important man’s son. They come from money older than time… his dad was the mayor of Alexandria. They had pull in this state. I wasn’t going to bring that kind of wrath down on our people.”

  “But he was an animal!” Conrad shouted, instantly looking contrite when I winced. “So… is he Gabrielle’s father?”

  “I prefer to think she doesn’t have a father,” I whispered. “It’s not her fault. I don’t want her to know.”

  “Okay, so that picture is starting to come together for me.”

  “I can’t thank you enough for taking her in, no questions asked. I didn’t know who else to ask. Once I found out I was pregnant, I knew I’d need someone to raise her since they were never going to let me out of there... it’s almost four. Can you drop me somewhere?”

  “No,” he looked at me like I was crazy. “There’s still a lot of ground to cover and I have a feeling you didn’t call me just to catch up on old times. Do you need help?”

  “Yes, but not the kind of help you’re thinking of,” I frowned at the clock, much like Charlie had earlier. “Is there some other time we can meet?”

  “Oh no you don’t,” he shook his head. “I’m not going anywhere until I know everything.”

  “I’m not ready to introduce you to everyone. I don’t want to have to explain who you are. I can’t. They think my name is Neena Allen.”

  “Interesting choice,” he smirked. Of course he recognized our grandmother’s name. The surname I’d chosen was the name of the parish our reservation was in.

  “I was working on the fly.”

  “Okay look… I’ll get a room in town. I have a few errands to run. Go do what you have to then get away. We can hole up in my hotel room for the evening and we’ll go from there.”

  “What about Gabrielle?” I hesitated.

  “She’s with Aunt Ella. She’ll be fine,” he assured me as he put the truck in gear.

  “Fine,” I sighed, giving him directions to Charlie’s house. Maybe I’d never dream of asking so much from Conrad, but I was secretly kind of glad he seemed hell bent on he
lping me.

  “So, whose house is this?” He eyed the house warily as he pulled in the drive.

  “Charlie… he’s my business partner,” I hedged.

  “Business partner?”

  “Yeah, we’re making dandelion jelly.”

  “Dandelion jelly?”

  “Well, he owns the dandelions. I’m making the jelly.”

  “I see.”

  “You do not see,” I snapped. “Don’t talk to me in that tone.”

  “Mmm-hmm,” he didn’t sound convinced.

  “I’m not discussing this with you right now.”

  “Later.”

  “Later. When we get to that part of the story.”

  “Go get changed before you catch your death of a cold,” he pinched the bridge of his nose as if to stave off a headache.

  “My other outfit isn’t clean,” I blurted out without thinking. I belatedly realized I shouldn’t have said anything when I saw the worried look on his face.

  “You’re going to be the death of me.”

  “Hey Conrad…”

  “Yes?”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “Alí:la mõ,” I kissed his cheek and hopped out of the truck into the pouring rain.

  “You’re welcome,” I heard him say as I closed the door. I turned and bounded up the stairs, realizing as I stood wringing out my dress and hair that Charlie’s car was in its spot behind the house. I hadn’t seen that from the front.

  I muttered a curse under my breath, which I realized he’d heard when I looked up to see him standing in the doorway with a wounded look on his face. I let out another curse, to which he scowled and walked away.

  “Charlie,” I followed him in, a trail of water dripping as I went.

  “So what is this, some kind of con?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Are you running some kind of con on us? Is he your boyfriend?”

  “No, he’s not my boyfriend,” I snorted in disgust.

  “Nice. Very ladylike.”

  “Accusing me of being a con artist isn’t exactly gentlemanly.”