Bordering on Obsession

by Susan Kearney

“Yes.”

  She sounded very sure, but unhappy. Miserable even, so he didn’t have a clue why she was ending things between them. Not that he intended to let her go. She meant too much to him, this Maggie who didn’t want any favors, who gave of herself without asking for anything in return. He loved her, but sensed she wasn’t ready to hear him say the words. Hell, he could barely believe them himself. Yet, he couldn’t deny his feelings any more than he could cease living. He loved her. And he was quite pleased with himself for acknowledging the emotion when he’d never felt it before, never wanted to feel it before.

  No way was she dumping him. That was an experience for other men, not Quinn. An experience that wouldn’t sit well on his shoulders. Quinn wouldn’t give her up without a battle. And Maggie had no idea how stubborn he planned to be. Going after what he wanted was his forte. And he wanted Maggie in his life day and night—forever.

  He accepted the strength of his feelings for her with the same equanimity he accepted his most brilliant movie concepts. When he was right, he could feel it. And Maggie was right. He had no doubts whatsoever.

  Positive that he could convince her to change her mind if he kept her talking, he gave her an opening to explain. “I don’t understand.”

  She practically threw her words at him. “I planned on us having a fling. We had one. Now it’s over.”

  “Because I learned it was you?”

  “I don’t owe you any explanations.” Tears brimmed in her eyes and she turned away from him.

  Quinn rose to his feet, took her into his arms, enjoying her soft, trembling skin. She didn’t struggle, but she didn’t melt against him, either. “Maggie, why are you ending what we’ve found together?”

  “Because you aren’t what I want. Don’t you understand? We are wrong for each other. And I don’t want to spend more time with a man that can’t be part of my future.”

  Whoa.

  She’d just thrown way more at him than he could digest all at once. He ignored that her earlier admission about being infatuated with him contradicted her more recent statement that he wasn’t what she wanted. He honed in on her belief that he was wrong for her. How dare she tell him that. What was wrong with him anyway? Besides, he trusted his instincts. The woman he was holding was very right for him.

  Yet, he kept his tone gentle. “Who says we are wrong for each other?”

  “I do.”

  “And that’s based on…?”

  “I’m practical and a planner.”

  “So am I or I wouldn’t be successful.”

  “You fly by the seat of your pants.”

  “Sometimes. I don’t see the problem.”

  “I’m not a star. You are. And I don’t want to spend my life trying to be what I’m not.”

  “Did you ever think that I like you the way you are?”

  “Yeah, right. In the four years we’ve known each other, you never once thought about asking me out. Now you expect me to believe that you like me the way I am? Don’t insult my intelligence, please.”

  Quinn restrained a smile. Even when Maggie told him off she was polite. “Maggie have you ever taken a trip to Europe? To Paris?”

  “I’ve never been to Europe.”

  “That doesn’t matter. You dream of climbing the Eiffel Tower, walking down the Champs Elysee, seeing Notre Dame and floating on a river cruise down the Seine. But your plane has engine trouble and you land in Iceland. You can sit in the airport and fume about your lost time in Paris, or you can explore Iceland. Enjoy a different culture. Wander through the fishing communities. Visit a glacier. And finally the plane is repaired and you go to Paris—but the best part of your trip was Iceland where you were stuck on a bus next to a seventy-five-year-old lady who reminded you of your grandmother.”

  “Are you comparing me to Iceland?”

  He shook his head.

  She looked at him suspiciously. “I don’t remind you of your grandmother, do I?”

  He failed to restrain a chuckle. “Hardly. What I’m saying is I might not have planned on us getting together—”

  “You never even thought about it—”

  “But now that we have—”

  “Now that I tricked you into making love to me.”

  “I’m glad that you did.”

  “So we can keep doing what we’ve been doing?”

  “Exactly.” He was pleased that he’d calmed her, and convinced her that they could remain together. And suddenly he understood why he got up in the mornings looking forward to every day. Maggie. The reason making love had become so special, so exciting. Maggie. The words that slipped from him so easily felt right and true. “I love you, Maggie.”

  “No, you don’t.” Every muscle in her body tensed for battle as she hardened her tone. “You’re in lust. There’s a difference.”

  “Yes, there is. And I know the difference.”

  “Oh, really.” Her eyes flared with anger and a hint of vulnerability.

  “You’re scared, so you’re running away from me. I love you,” he repeated. “We’re good together.”

  “No, we aren’t. We work well together and we have great sex. And I refuse to believe that you even know what love is. Hell, you don’t even have a pet. You could change your mind about us tomorrow—and that’s not love, that’s infatuation and lust.”

  She’d just said no to him again. But she shouldn’t have. His reasoning was sound and logical. And he’d told her he loved her. Maybe she hadn’t heard him. So he tried one more time. “Why can’t you believe that I love you?”

  Maggie yanked back from his embrace and he let her go. He wanted to see her eyes, but she avoided his gaze. “Quinn, I think you’d better go.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.” He spoke calmly despite the anger running through his veins. Quinn’s expert negotiating skills seemed ineffective with Maggie, but if she wouldn’t respond to logic, or his arms around her, as her boss, he could keep her in his company until he decided on a new strategy.

  “Don’t try to push me around, Quinn,” she warned as if reading his mind.

  “Look, we still need dinner and I’d like to talk with you about how best to approach Laine. But first I want you to answer my question.”

  “Which question?”

  “Why can’t you believe that I love you?”

  She tossed her hair back from her face as her head jerked up. Her blue eyes blazed with passion and anger and unreleased tears. “Fine. You love me. Prove it.”

  Aha. She’d just given him an opening. Although how he could prove he loved her eluded him at the moment. When he remained silent, he could read the unhappiness in her eyes and wondered what he could say to make it disappear. Showering her with kisses that began at her toes and ended on those deliciously scowling lips crossed his mind. But she’d call that lust, not love.

  “How would you like to cast my next movie?”

  For a nanosecond, her eyes fired with excitement but then narrowed in disdain. “That offer only proves you respect my business judgment, not that you love me.”

  “Are you turning down the job?”

  “What do you think?”

  “I think you should take some time to make up your mind.” Quinn may have just lost ground with her, but her refusal to jump at his offer made his pulse leap. His head had doubted that Maggie was the real thing, a woman who wanted him for more than what he could give her professionally, but his heart knew better. He shouldn’t have doubted her. But he hadn’t anticipated that she’d be frightened of her own feelings. Not for one moment did he doubt that she had those feelings or she wouldn’t have pursued him in the first place. Maggie couldn’t just sweep into his life like a tidal wave and then ebb away with the tide. Quinn refused to lose her. Despite his frustration and this momentary setback, he had no doubt that he would succeed in changing her mind about him. Just as soon as he figured out how the heck a man proved his love.

  He might not be able to define his emotions. The feeling was new to him, but that
didn’t mean his emotion wasn’t real. Wasn’t rare.

  He would find a way to prove this feeling blooming in him, like the rarest flower, was love.

  And he would enjoy the challenge.

  10

  HE LOVED HER?

  Oh, God! What had she done?

  Those words from him were the last ones she’d wanted to hear. Quinn had to be confused by the great sex.

  Somehow, Maggie had gotten through dinner. Quinn had taken her to an exclusive restaurant that overlooked the harbor. He’d acted the perfect gentlemen, not pressing her, keeping the conversation on business. But she’d been too upset to taste the food she’d placed in her mouth. It didn’t help that Quinn looked devastatingly attractive in his navy suit and dark maroon tie.

  Never before had any of her plans gone so awry. And emotionally weary of trying to pretend she was fine, she’d ended their evening early to return to her hotel room.

  She had some hard thinking to do—not the least of which was whether or not to accept Quinn’s offer to cast his movie. This opportunity might never come her way again. Quinn the expert negotiator had just offered her a dream on a twenty-four-carat gold platter. But she couldn’t deal with her career until she settled her rioting emotions.

  Quinn had told her he loved her. But he didn’t love her, of course. He couldn’t possibly love her. Not because she wasn’t lovable but because a man didn’t just treat a woman like a secretary for four years and then fall in love with her in less than a week. The notion was absurd. A preposterous change of heart even for a man as given to extremes as Quinn. Even if he had seemed perfectly sincere when he’d declared that he loved her, her practical side told her differently.

  So instead of making her giddy and happy, his words had speared her with a pain that wouldn’t go away. Quinn had been right when he’d accused her of being afraid. She was afraid to believe him. What rational woman wouldn’t be? She didn’t want to love a man that didn’t do long-term. A man that had no experience in holding a relationship together. For one thing, she knew enough about his parents to realize he’d had no good examples in his life. Quinn wouldn’t know love if it crept up his leg and bit him. So even if he believed everything he’d said, she knew better. And for another thing, Quinn had made up his mind so fast it made her thoughts spin. No one could be that sure, that fast. Not even Quinn.

  She hadn’t worn the blindfold when he’d asked, because as much as she’d have preferred to go on with their sexual fling, she’d needed to end it before her heart became involved. Maggie believed she could choose the man she would love and she would not choose Quinn. He was too handsome, too charming. Too powerful and wealthy. She didn’t want her man to escort movie stars to premieres as casually as other men opened a door for a lady. She didn’t want to have to compete with every starlet that came down the pike. She wanted a man from a stable background similar to her own. The idea of falling for Quinn and watching other women pursue him was not for her.

  Better to guard her feelings and remember their fantastic sex as a fond memory. She would have preferred if Quinn had never learned her identity. Once he had, she couldn’t just keep going on as they’d been. Quinn might be a fairy tale come true, but he wasn’t “ever after” material.

  However, she couldn’t change—wouldn’t change—what had happened between them. Now, she just had to decide if she wanted to keep her job as his personal assistant. She didn’t think she could. She couldn’t pretend that they hadn’t made love. Nor could she ever forget their time together. Perhaps it was time for her to move on. Perhaps she should take Quinn up on his offer to cast his movie and then parlay that credential into a successful career change. Maybe find a partner to back the start-up costs. Lord knows, she could. She had the contacts.

  However, accepting Quinn’s offer would mean maintaining a connection with the man himself. And she wasn’t sure she could handle that. He’d accused her of being afraid of her own feelings, but he’d been wrong. She was simply being practical.

  Yeah, but if she was just being practical, she wouldn’t hesitate to accept his offer. She wouldn’t pass up this opportunity.

  She paced back and forth in front of the bed. Okay, so she was a little scared. Maybe more than a little. But she could handle herself once she decided what she wanted to do.

  She didn’t see hanging on to Quinn as any kind of option. On the other hand, she probably shouldn’t have challenged him. She knew how stubborn he could be. He might pursue her to prove to himself that no woman could turn him down.

  Had she done so on purpose? Maggie dropped her head into her hands. Did she want him to pursue her? If she was absolutely honest with herself, did she really want him to give up on her?

  With all her feelings tumbling as if they were turning somersaults, Maggie slipped under the covers. No way was she going to sleep. Especially when she imagined Quinn in his room, pacing, the television on, while he spoke into his cell phone to Europe or Asia, making deals. He wouldn’t be rethinking every word they’d spoken to one another. He wouldn’t be second-guessing his plans.

  She wanted to go to him, ask him to hold her, because she really didn’t like herself much at the moment. She’d created this mess and had no idea how to clean it up. When had her life turned so complicated? And what was she going to do?

  Maggie tossed and turned, dreading tomorrow when she’d give Quinn her answer about casting the movie. If she took on the project, she wouldn’t be able to keep working as his assistant. Her own office and the distance from him would be good. She couldn’t imagine sitting just outside his office door, available for his every whim, having to watch him move on with his life without her.

  For a moment, she almost let herself believe that maybe Quinn had been sincere. That maybe he knew what love was and that he had real feelings for her. That they could spend their lives together.

  Don’t be stupid.

  She would be setting herself up for heartbreak. The kind that messed a woman up for a long time. Although Maggie didn’t feel her biological clock ticking, didn’t even know if she wanted children, she wouldn’t waste time on a man who had no experience with love.

  She was afraid Quinn might keep her around because she was handy. Because they could share a good working relationship and a good sex life. But that wasn’t love. And it wasn’t permanent. She didn’t want to waste time on Quinn when the possibility of a future together seemed so impossible.

  Perhaps she should turn down his offer to cast his movie and give up her job as his personal assistant. With Quinn’s recommendation, she could find other work. Start over. Meet new people.

  But Maggie had other ties, besides Quinn, to Simitar Studios. She and Kimberly were good friends and often ate lunch together. They wouldn’t see each other as often if Maggie moved on. Nor could she help Kimberly get her script read, maybe produced. Although Maggie didn’t have any say in whether a screenplay was turned into a movie, she did schedule Quinn’s hours, remind him of his most exciting projects, help him find the right directors and camerapeople and editors. If she left, she would miss the power she had at Simitar Studios as much as the friends she’d made there. Starting over from scratch didn’t appeal to Maggie as much now as when she’d headed for L.A. after college, leaving behind family and friends.

  So what was she going to do?

  MAGGIE ROUSED TO POUNDING on her door. Usually she awakened immediately, all brain cells running smoothly. Since she hadn’t fallen asleep until the wee hours of the morning, when she forced open her eyes, it took a moment to get her bearings. She was in a hotel room. Alone. Last night Quinn and she had argued.

  Her whole messy problem came slamming back into her head full force. The pounding on the door only aggravated her too-heavy head.

  “Go away.”

  The door opened and Quinn came inside pushing a cart laden with food. How had he gotten a key card? Never mind. What was he doing here?

  “Go away,” she muttered again, pulling the pillow over
her head.

  The cart’s wheels squeaked as Quinn rolled it beside her bed. “Time for breakfast, Maggie mine.”

  “Don’t call me that.”

  “Okay, Maggie darling.”

  “I’m not your darling. I’m not your anything.”

  “That remains to be seen. I prefer to think positively. So no negative vibes, woman.” When she didn’t move or verbally respond, he coaxed, “Don’t you want to see what I brought you?”

  If he was trying to bribe her, his tactic was working. The delicious scent of coffee alone almost drove her out from under the pillow. But he hadn’t just brought coffee. She smelled bacon and her mouth betrayed her by watering.

  Her stomach rumbled, reminding her she hadn’t eaten much last night. She sat up, pulling the sheet to her chin.

  She glared at Quinn, but it was difficult to remain angry at him when she saw the feast he’d ordered. Waffles with fresh strawberries, blueberries and whipped cream. Orange juice with lots of pulp. Toasted muffins and hot croissants with little silver pots of jelly and butter. Eggs, fried, scrambled and poached. Granola with raisins. Milk. Pancakes with more berries. Sausage. Bacon. And tea.

  “You ordered enough food to feed ten people.”

  He shot her a charming grin. “I don’t know what you like, so I ordered everything.”

  How like Quinn. She should have expected he’d do something excessive and outrageous. Naturally he didn’t think twice about the cost. Or that she might throw him out. But it would be a shame to let all that wondrous food go to waste. Besides, she could see by the expression in Quinn’s eyes, a glint of mischievousness, that he was up to something. And she needed to know what in order to counter him.

  He flipped open a napkin and handed it to her. When she was slow to accept, he gently floated it over her lap, and she caught a whiff of his soap. He’d already showered, shaved and dressed for the day in buff-colored slacks and an emerald shirt that brought out the green in his eyes.

  In comparison, she felt rumpled. Her hair was a mess and she’d yet to brush her teeth. But she wasn’t getting out of bed in the nightgown she was wearing. Things had been different between them when Quinn had purchased the lacy violet garment for her. Last night, when her attire was the last thing on her mind, she’d worn it due to lack of any other choices.