Where the Secret Lies

by Gandhi, Malika

  in a long skirt that covered her ankles and a blouse, which accentuated her slim figure. Tehzeeb peered from her veil, an intensity radiated from her whole being. Surrounding her were her children. Anjali did a quick count; one was missing.

  ‘Namaste didi (sister),’ said Tehzeeb.

  ‘This is Shabnam, Ram, Imran, and Zakira,’ Mohan introduced her children. Anjali would not think of them as his.

  ‘Where is Anu?’ asked Anjali. Why was she able to remember the missing child’s name?

  Mohan shook his head sadly.

  ‘Oh God,’ exclaimed Anjali.

  A single tear and Mohan took Tehzeeb into his arms. Anjali stared.

  ‘I have to go, I’m sorry,’ she ran out of the house.

  Anjali gulped fresh air, squashing the pain deep inside her. Was the air cold or was it only her who felt it? Why did this happen to her? Why did bad luck follow her?

  ‘Anjali, are you alright?’ Mohan came out.

  ‘No Mohan ji, I am not. I did not...I do not want her or her children here in my house. Tell her to go away!’

  ‘They are my children as well. Anjali, Tehzeeb is my first wife – she is an elder sister to you now. You will show respect and bring love to my other children as you do for Deepika and Kajol. Tehzeeb understands this and is willing to adjust and so must you,’ Mohan’s tone had changed.

  ‘Will you sleep with her?’ Anjali asked.

  ‘I will do my duty by her as well as by you.’

  Anjali watched in shocked silence as he went back into the house.

  ARIANNA

  TWENTY

  Rani hugged Arianna. ‘Thank you for helping me, I am able to breathe now.’

  They were at the airport terminal waiting for the calling time for the flight to London. Rani was going with Arianna’s parents, agreed by her father after a heated discussion between Rani and her mother. Arianna assured her auntie this would be good for her. This was her time and she must make the most of it. Marriage will come again - right now, Rani was not ready. Arianna remembered yesterday’s conversation.

  Arianna, Rani, Khushboo, and Tianna sat together. They listened to the elders talk, not speaking a word but waiting with high anticipation of a good outcome. Rani had initiated the discussion.

  ‘It would be a delight,’ said Arianna’s mother. ‘Since neither Arianna nor Tianna want to come back with us, it is nice to know someone wants our company.’

  Arianna knew her mother was trying to make her and sister feel guilty. She was a little miffed at the prospect of not having any of her daughters with her when they go back to London. Since she and Tianna were born, neither had left her sight for more than twenty-four hours. Now, Arianna and Tianna would be away from her for two weeks!

  ‘Mum, we are not leaving the planet,’ Tianna rolled her eyes.

  ‘Ma, what do you say? Can I go?’ Rani asked her mother.

  ‘Why are you asking me? You have already decided,’ her mother retorted.

  ‘I want you to be happy for me Ma,’ said Rani. ‘Why can’t you like me?’

  ‘How dare you!’ her mother rose. She turned to her husband who seemed tired. ‘Look what our daughter has turned into, a vicious witch!’

  Rani’s mother stormed out leaving everyone in complete and utter shock. Rani’s composure crumpled and tears spilled.

  Arianna, Tianna, and Khushboo accompanied Rani to her room.

  ‘Why does she hate me?’ Rani cried into her handkerchief. ‘She has done nothing but hate me.’

  ‘I am so sorry, Rani,’ Arianna said.

  ‘She is not my real mother, you know. Perhaps that’s why she never loved me.’

  ‘What?’ said Tianna and Khushboo together.

  ‘My mother is my maasi – my mother’s younger sister. My biological mother died a few days after giving birth to me. My maasi clasped my father’s hand and said she will marry him and look after me. My poor father had no choice. He was vulnerable and emotional and he needed someone to be a mother to me.

  ‘My grandparents agreed to this marriage whole hearted, so my father and she married. When I was thirteen, my dadi (grandmother) told me that Papa never got over my real mother. My maasi was jealous of this and equally jealous of my and Papa’s relationship – she was not able to bear her own children. Ma sneered at my achievements from childhood, even now. She was never happy to be my mother.’

  ‘I don’t understand, why did she marry your father?’ asked Arianna.

  ‘Isn’t it obvious? For uncle’s money of course,’ said Tianna.

  ‘She is right,’ Rani said heavily.

  No one had an answer to this. The atmosphere became subdued.

  ‘Anyone hungry?’ asked Khushboo.

  ‘Have you seen my phone Ari?’ asked Tianna. ‘Oh I gave it to Gaurav. I’ll be back in a moment!’

  ‘Why is my life so difficult?’ sighed Rani.

  Arianna half-listened, thinking about Rani and her mother’s relationship problems, when she heard soft crying. She glanced at Rani but she seemed content. Then...who was crying?

  ‘Khush, did you hear that?’ Arianna whispered when Tianna went to get her mobile and Rani went to the bathroom to wash her face and apply some make-up.

  ‘No, what are you talking about?’ said Khushboo.

  ‘Oh nothing...hey Rani, can I ask you something?’ Arianna asked when she came back.

  ‘Sure,’ she said.

  ‘Do you remember when I asked you about the door...the only one not decorated with flowers?’

  ‘I remember...’

  ‘Would it be okay to see it?’ Arianna asked.

  ‘You want to see the room, why?’

  ‘I don’t know but I am curious.’

  ‘Ah...Ari, we are not allowed to mention that room,’ Rani said mysteriously. ‘It’s a taboo subject.’

  ‘What’s a taboo subject?’ Tianna arrived with her phone.

  ‘Shhh!’ said Arianna. ‘Please tell me, I mean, please tell us.’

  Rani looked from one curious face to another. ‘Alright, but this conversation must not leave this room, agreed?’

  ‘Agreed,’ they all chorused.

  ‘When I was young, I used to hear crying behind the door. Once, I heard dancing bells too. A secret lies behind that door and I intended to find out. I asked Ma and Papa but they forbade me to talk about the room let alone enter it. I believe that door has never been opened.’

  ‘Have you tried?’ asked Tianna.

  ‘Yes, many times. My friends and I used to go there at night when everyone was asleep. I planned it all – the early nights, the sleepovers...we waited until all was quiet. I had already taken the keys from Ma’s set and had them copied.

  ‘We tried all the keys but the door wouldn’t open. It seemed like it was permanently wedged to the frame. In the end, we gave up.’

  ‘That’s it?’ Tianna said.

  ‘No, there is more. I saw a woman. She always wore the same red sari. She wore her long black hair loose at times and her jewellery...I have not seen anything like it! She would walk along the same corridor...once she looked my way and I ran. I was nine then.

  ‘As I got older the noises stopped and I stopped seeing her. I now stay away from there. Ma did not want it decorated; she said it was a bad omen. We found a dead black cat there, five years ago.

  ‘Were you not scared when you saw that woman? Sounds like you saw a real ghost!’ Tianna rubbed her arms and shivered.

  ‘I was but with so many people coming and going, the door and the room, and whatever was associated with it was forgotten.’

  Arianna did not voice her apprehensions with her cousin but she could not stop thinking about it either. Rani mentioned crying...was it the same one she heard a few minutes ago?

  ‘Ari, where are you?’

  ‘Sorry Ma,’ Arianna hugged her mother. ‘I will miss you.’

  Arianna’s mother kissed her cheek. ‘Please take care of yourself beta and make sure you eat properly. Tianna, you as
well. You both are too thin for your own good.’

  ‘Alright Ma. Now go, Papa and Rani are waiting for you,’ Tianna said as her mother planted a kiss on her too. She half hugged and half pushed her.

  ‘I will call as soon as we reach home,’ promised their mother.

  Their father and Rani waved and then all three walked through the gates.

  ‘I miss them already,’ sighed Arianna.

  ‘Me too,’ Tianna leaned against her sister.

  Khushboo put her arms around their shoulders. ‘Let’s go home...hey Ari, are you alright? You seem a little disturbed today.’

  ‘I was thinking about what Rani said the other night, you know – about the woman she saw and that room...’

  ‘You think too much. It’s only a story.’

  Arianna didn’t think so. ‘You go home with Ti. I just remembered I need to do something.’

  ‘Where are you going?’ Tianna asked.

  ‘I’ll tell you later okay? This is very important. Don’t worry, I am perfectly safe. You can ring me in an hour

  if I am not back by then.’ Arianna left a bewildered Khushboo and Tianna as she hailed a taxi.

  Arianna rang the doorbell and tapped her feet, waiting for the door to open. She was nervous too, for she came uninvited.

  ‘Oh...hello,’ Alok opened the door. ‘What a lovely surprise.’

  ‘I should have called,’ Arianna apologised. ‘I’m sorry. I was hoping you would be at home, I ‘m not disturbing you am I? You are not going out?’

  The old man’s face smiled. ‘As it happens, I am free today like so many of my other days. Where are my manners, come in.’

  Alok ordered two passion fruit juices as they sat down. ‘Am I right in suggesting you have come to hear more of the story of the haveli?’

  ‘Yes, how did you know?’

  ‘Intuition,’ Alok said.

  Arianna laughed. ‘How do you know so much about the haveli, uncle?’

  ‘I am a retired historian. It was my job to find information on buildings, papers, books etc of old. I hoped to find information on my own haveli but unfortunately, it does not have such a colourful history as your cousin’s haveli.’

  Arianna took the juice from the servant.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘Uncle, do you anything about a certain door?’

  ‘Oh, you know about that?’

  ‘I know a little.’

  ‘That door has quizzed many. Why it does not open, no one knows. It is a mystery. Some say a spirit is involved. Whatever is inside, he or she wants it to be kept secret.

  ‘Your cousin’s family do not speak of it for they fear it. I myself, have searched the archives in the record offices, studied the building papers, checked websites but nothing came forward.

  ‘But I found one thing and one thing only; this was from a newspaper article which was dated... I think 1952. The title of the news item read “Murder”.

  TWENTY-ONE

  Murder at the haveli? Arianna’s mind buzzed with questions and the answers could only be found in one place – the room.

  The rickshaw stopped at the haveli, jolting Arianna back from her thoughts.

  ‘Thank you bhaiya,’ Arianna paid the driver.

  Whom could she ask? Auntie or uncle will not enlighten her about the murder – if they know anything about it. The door was a taboo subject...perhaps she should ask the maid, she was sure such stories circled amongst the working class.

  Nikhil was on the phone when she entered his room. He abruptly stopped talking and disconnected the call.

  ‘Did I interrupt something important?’ asked Arianna. She felt...unwelcome.

  ‘It was only a phone call. Come here,’ he took her into his arms but Arianna felt something amiss. There was no warmth in his hug. She released herself and looked into his eyes.

  ‘Where were you? Khushboo and Tianna arrived a while ago,’ he said.

  ‘I went to see Alok uncle. You will not believe what he told me about this haveli! I still can’t believe it myself.’

  ‘Ari, can you tell me later? I have something important to do,’ Nikhil pecked her on the cheek and brushed past. Arianna stared after him. Did she say something to annoy him?

  Arianna decided to ask her auntie, Rani’s mother regarding the murder. The worst she could do was refuse.

  ‘Auntie, how are you?’ Arianna drew up a chair next to her.

  Auntie adjusted her black-rimmed glasses, which rested on the bridge of her nose. She picked up swabs of fabric and scrutinised the colours and textures. Rani’s mother worked as an interior designer. It was a small, side business and she looked very busy. Arianna wondered if she should come back another time

  ‘Did you want something beta?’ Auntie spoke making Arianna jump.

  ‘Um...auntie, there is something on my mind...something about this haveli.’

  Auntie put the fabrics down and gave Arianna her full attention. Arianna felt her mouth dry.

  ‘Can I have some water please?’ she croaked.

  ‘Beta, you seem quite worried. What is worrying you?’ auntie poured her a glass.

  Arianna took the water and drank.

  ‘Auntie, can you tell me something about a certain room and door which won’t open?’

  Auntie raised her eyebrows. ‘What do you know about that? Why are you interested?’

  ‘Nothing...just I heard a few things...’

  ‘Listen beta, you must stay away from that door, do you understand? It carries a bad omen. I have had a number of holy rituals carried out to rid the curse. Rani was adamant a spirit was the cause of the door staying shut...’

  ‘Do you know anything about a murder?’ Arianna dared to ask.

  Auntie looked at her sharp. ‘I have read of it...you are worrying me Arianna. Please forget all this nonsense and stay away from the door. It is bad luck.’

  ‘I don’t understand, why do you to live here if you think the door carries bad luck? Many would have sold the haveli and moved away.’

  ‘You don’t think we tried? Once people heard about the “murder” no one wanted to buy this haveli. Well, we learnt to live with it but mostly we stay away. Do not be tempted to open it as Rani, look how bad luck followed her.’

  Arianna knew this was all superstition on her auntie’s part. There is no such thing as spirits and bad luck.

  ‘Auntie, thank you,’ Arianna wanted to leave fast; talking about spirits and bad luck was not something she wanted to hear. The talk of Rani and her “bad luck” also made her uncomfortable.

  Before she could get away, her auntie grabbed her hand and began to cry, forcing Arianna to stay sitting.

  ‘She is not a bad girl. I miss her very much...the argument should not have happened and now she has gone. It is my entire fault.’

  Arianna tried to be sympathetic. ‘Rani is a good person, auntie. I think all she wanted was your love.’

  Her auntie showed a mix of surprise and shock on her face.

  ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s none of my business,’ Arianna said quickly.

  ‘Is that what she thinks of me beta? I don’t love her?

  ‘Auntie, this is awkward...Rani told me about you not being her real mother...’

  ‘She told you? Oh...’

  ‘Auntie –’

  ‘Arianna beta, I love Rani as my child. I never...how could she? What else did she say?’

  ‘Nothing else,’ Arianna lied.

  ‘I must speak to her,’ Auntie picked up her phone.

  ‘The plane has left and they won’t reach London until early tomorrow,’ Arianna said.

  ‘You are right. Oh...’ Auntie pressed her forehead.

  ‘Will you be alright?’ Arianna cursed herself for opening her mouth.

  ‘I will be fine beta,’ she said. ‘I won’t keep you now. Thank you...for everything.’

  Arianna left her auntie in a worse situation than she was in before. She felt guilty, but she couldn’t make it any better.


  She sighed, taking the route to the lone corridor subconsciously, thinking all the while of Rani and her mothers’ differences. She completely forgot the reason why she went to her auntie in the first instance until she saw the door.

  She stared, unable to believe what she saw. The door lay wide open! Arianna checked all around to see if anyone was around but there was no one. She turned to the door – it was still very real and very open. Was this an illusion? All this talk of the door that would not open, the spirit hiding a secret, the mystery of the murder; she must be overtired. Arianna closed her eyes for a second then reopened them.

  The door was still open, inviting her in. Excitement rushed through Arianna’s veins as she took a step forward, then another and another. Soon she was inside the dark room. The lights came on suddenly and Arianna jumped.

  ‘Hello is someone here?’ Anjali thought of the spirit and cold dread crept into her heart. Arianna, don’t be daft.

  She walked around; the room was large and housed shelves upon shelves of dusty boxes. She took one off the bottom shelf and blew the dust off. The dust cloud

  circled her making her cough. Wiping the remaining dust off the top of the box with her scarf, she saw a label in Hindi.

  Arianna could not read Hindi, should she ask her auntie? No, that would be a bad idea. She had a feeling nothing was allowed to be taken out of this room. Arianna noticed a name written in English – Anjali. The box was dated 1953.

  She opened the box eagerly and found dresses, sarees, a few old books, and a photograph album. The sarees and dresses were exquisite and elegant. Arianna imagined Anjali parading around in Lucknow in these beautiful clothes, attending parties and having dinner at elite restaurants reserved for the wealthy. She closed her eyes, faintly smelling perfume.

  Putting the garments aside, she opened the album and flicked through sepia and black and white photographs. They were mesmerising and she felt each picture told its own story. A family portrait of a group of children caught her eye. Some smiled and some scowled. Arianna chuckled. A woman stood next to some of the children. She wore a long skirt, a blouse and a veil covered half her face. Another woman stood on the other side, she had her hands on the shoulders of two girls and seemed protective.