Where the Secret Lies

by Gandhi, Malika

  Tehzeeb saw Anjali and smiled at her. Anjali didn’t return the smile but crossed her arms around her chest.

  ‘Didi, you are up. Shall I get you some chai?’ Tehzeeb asked.

  Anjali ignored her and looked to her husband.

  ‘Mohan ji, can you come with me. I would like to speak with you.’

  Mohan raised his eyebrows.

  ‘You can say anything here, Anjali,’ he said.

  ‘No ji, you go to her,’ said Tehzeeb to Anjali’s disbelief.

  ‘I will be back, carry on with the story,’ there was love in his voice. He briefly touched Tehzeeb’s face and then turned to Anjali.

  ‘Please,’ he said, pointing to the doorway.

  With her heart beating, Anjali led him to their bedroom.

  She began to unbutton his shirt and kissed him urgently. She threw off her sari and blouse and pressed her naked bosoms against his chest, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace. She did not give Mohan a chance to speak as she kissed him again, long and hard. Her passion hiked, she bit his lips. She took procession of his body and soul.

  Anjali felt Mohan surrender himself to her and she took advantage. She pulled him to the bed and lay down. Mohan dropped on top of her and they made gentle and passionate love.

  They breathed deeply afterwards, lying together. Anjali blushed now as she thought of what she had

  done; this was so unlike her. Mohan circled her still erect nipples with his forefinger and kissed her shoulder. Thrilling sensations cascaded down to her belly and she sighed, happy. He was still hers...but what he said next broke the spell.

  ‘Anjali my darling, you need not be envious of Tehzeeb. She understands our relationship as you must of my and Tehzeeb’s.’

  ‘What do you mean to say Mohan ji?’ Anjali asked cautiously. Anger flared up again.

  Mohan left her side and began to get dressed.

  ‘Anjali, now please listen and try to understand,’ he spoke to her like speaking to a stubborn child. ‘I love you as I love her.’

  Anjali flung the sheets away from herself. She snatched her clothes she had thrown on the floor and began to get dressed. The moment of tranquillity had vanished.

  ‘Did you come home last night Mohan ji?’ she asked in spite of herself.

  ‘I arrived this morning.’

  ‘Did you come to our bedroom?’

  ‘Anjali, please do not ask this.’

  ‘Mohan ji, please answer my question.’

  ‘I went to see Tehzeeb.’

  Anjali nodded and forbade her tears to spill; they came anyway.

  ‘Oh Anjali,’ Mohan tried to take her in his arms.

  ‘Go Mohan ji, go to your precious Tehzeeb,’ Anjali’s tears came fast. ‘Leave me alone.’

  Anjali saw two lives in this equation – hers and theirs. Mohan paid a lot of attention to Tehzeeb’s needs than to her own. Her own children no longer wanted to spend time with her but with their “new” brothers and

  sisters. The girls called Tehzeeb “Bari Ma” – Elder Mother. Anjali was alone.

  One day Mohan came home excited. He put his briefcase down and took Anjali’s hands, swinging her around. Tehzeeb’s face lit up.

  ‘What is it Mohan ji?’ she asked before Anjali could.

  Mohan left Anjali’s hands and went to Tehzeeb. ‘I have wonderful news. Bhai Saab is coming from Bombay to meet us! It has been a very long time. Do you remember him, Tehzeeb?’

  ‘Bhai Saab is coming? That is wonderful news!’ Tehzeeb exclaimed.

  ‘Who is this Bhai Saab?’ asked Anjali, she did not want to be left out of the conversation.

  ‘Bhai Saab is Rajesh, he is like a big brother to me,’ replied Tehzeeb. ‘We have known him for many years.’ Her face fell. ‘Mohan ji, is everything well with his family?’

  ‘He is alone, his mother and wife were killed during the Independence riots.’

  ‘God,’ she said. ‘May he find happiness.’

  ‘We will make sure he is happy when he comes,’ said Mohan.

  Anjali looked forward to meeting this man. She was curious to know him and wished Mohan mentioned him before. She did not like being the third person.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  The day arrived when Anjali would finally see him – the man whom everyone was so excited about. For weeks, Rajesh was the subject of conversations during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Tehzeeb loved remembering past times. She called him Bhai, meaning brother. Anjali wondered what could be so special about Mr. Rajesh?

  ‘I understand Rajesh is a popular person, from your stories he seems to be liked by everyone and is a friend to many. What does he look like? Can you tell me? What does he do?’ Anjali asked Mohan one evening before they retired for bed.

  ‘Anjali, if I tell you, the surprise will be spoilt,’ Mohan patted Anjali’s hand.

  The preparations of his visit began. Upon strict orders, the servants cleaned the haveli in meticulous precision. They polished the silverware to high degree shine and made the brassware gleam. Tehzeeb bought new household items for the guest room where Rajesh would be staying.

  Watching all this around her, Anjali sensed this man was not anyone but someone with status. Her curiosity burned within.

  Everyone waited for the arrival of Rajesh. Mohan had gone to greet him at the station whilst the rest of the family gathered in the living room. The children played in silence and the mothers watched over them.

  ‘Tehzeeb, you will not keep me in suspense, will you? Tell me, who is Rajesh?’ Anjali found herself asking Tehzeeb.

  Tehzeeb’s eyes brightened. ‘Bhai Saab is a great man, didi. He is kind and considerate. What can I tell

  you...well, we owed the government a substantial amount of money. Mohan ji did not have work and we struggled to pay the landowner his rent. Bhai Saab stepped in and paid the debt for us, he did not ask any questions.

  ‘Our families disowned Mohan ji and I when we married. I am Muslim and he is a Hindu – you can probably imagine the difficulties we had to face. My father and mother cut me away as did Mohan ji’s family. We were alone until Mohan ji met Bhai Saab.’

  ‘Tehzeeb, what did you do when you lost Mohan ji?’ Anjali hardly understood why she asked Tehzeeb this but her curiosity overtook her dislike of her, if only temporary.

  ‘I couldn’t find Mohan ji; I was scared. I assumed him dead...a family found us hiding in someone’s house. They gave the children and I food and clothes, they invited us to stay with them. A little later, we went back to Bombay but our home was destroyed. We went back to the kind family,’ Tehzeeb laughed with no ring of happiness. ‘I have lived in Lucknow all this time and Mohan ji was just here...

  ‘I filed a missing person’s report with Mohan ji’s details. The officer assured me they would let me know if they find him, but did not promise anything.’

  Selfish and unkind as it was, Anjali thanked God to have brought Mohan to her. Without him...she cringed to think what might have happened if he had not saved her...

  ‘He rescued me,’ she told Tehzeeb. ‘If it wasn’t for him, I would be dead.’

  Silence followed except for the ticking of the grandfather clock. The children suddenly shrieked making them jump.

  ‘Uncle is here!’

  The children ran to the door. Tehzeeb wiped her eyes and put a smile on her face. Smoothing down her clothes and hair, Tehzeeb made her way to the hall.

  ‘Welcome Bhai Saab,’ Anjali heard Tehzeeb’s delighted voice.

  Anjali tried to hear the conversation over the din of the children.

  ‘Children, let him come inside,’ laughed Mohan.

  Then Anjali heard his voice, loud and confident.

  ‘Where is your lovely second wife, Mohan? I must meet her!’

  He was the first one to enter the living room; behind him followed Mohan, looking proud, then Tehzeeb. The children settled at various points in the room.

  Mohan went to stand next to Anjali. Her heart began to pound as Rajesh sta
red at her. The intensity of his eyes...Rajesh came forward and took her hand, kissing it. Anjali snatched her hand back.

  ‘It is the fashion of these rich people,’ grinned Mohan.

  ‘I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t offend you,’ said Rajesh in a deep tone.

  ‘No, not at all,’ Anjali could not help but stare. This was Rajesh Rathod, the infamous film star!

  ‘Surprised?’ said Mohan.

  Everyone laughed when Anjali failed to answer.

  ‘Come Rajesh, we have a lot to talk about,’ Mohan directed Rajesh to his private drinking room.

  There was music and chatter during dinner and Anjali listened intently but did not say a word. Rajesh did not take his eyes off her.

  ‘I have told you many times didi; the cleaning must be completed by nine. What will Bhai Saab say?’

  Tehzeeb had become infuriating since her “Bhai Saab” arrived. She took over the supervision of the haveli, the cleaning and even what will be served for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!

  ‘How long is Rajesh staying here, Tehzeeb? I would very much like to know!’ Anjali shouted one day when she could no longer stand this sudden authority.

  ‘As long as he wants,’ Tehzeeb smacked the cushions back into shape.

  ‘This is my house, Tehzeeb. Don’t override my running of the haveli,’ Anjali said fervently.

  Rajesh became a constant nuisance to Anjali, which didn’t help. Why was he still here? Did he not have film work to do?

  ‘This haveli is my house also didi. We are equals in everything,’ Tehzeeb did a quick count of the cushions.

  ‘There are two missing,’ she said.

  ‘Does it matter?’ Anjali folded her arms.

  ‘Damini, Chottu, Chirag, Ali!’ Tehzeeb called the servants. ‘There are two cushions missing. Go and check all the rooms.’

  ‘Ji Bari Memsahib (Yes elder Memsahib),’ the servants chorused.

  ‘What is all this arguing?’ Rajesh said, standing very close to Anjali. She moved a fraction away.

  ‘It is nothing,’ snapped Anjali and stormed out.

  Anjali rocked in her chair and closed her eyes. She tried to focus on the good things – her children, Mohan and her wealth. Life had been simple before Tehzeeb entered their lives and now...Rajesh. Yes, he had a charismatic persona with the perfect face and physique. He was a successful actor but it did not give him the right to seduce her. This was wrong!

  Anjali was attracted to Rajesh and she abhorred it. She did not love him; she loved Mohan. He was everything to her. She just wished she could stop feeling this draw towards their new guest.

  ‘Can I come in?’ Rajesh knocked on the door.

  ‘If you must,’ Anjali brushed her long, black hair, sitting at her dressing table. She looked at Mohan through the mirror.

  Rajesh took a chair and sat next to her. He too, stared at her through the mirror.

  ‘We haven’t spoken,’ he said.

  Anjali watched him with guarded eyes.

  ‘You live in a strange family setting, do you agree?’ he asked.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well...’ Rajesh turned towards her and took her hands, caressing them. Anjali’s heart fluttered.

  ‘Tehzeeb is Mohan’s first wife,’ he said. ‘Surely you must be envious or threatened?’

  ‘It is none of your business.’

  ‘Oh I know but I feel sorry for you Anjali ji. How can you see your husband in the arms of another woman?’ He came closer. ‘You must love him a lot to let him do this to you.’

  Anjali found herself sexually aroused by this man.

  ‘Rajesh ji –’

  ‘Rajesh, just Rajesh to you.’

  Anjali gulped. ‘What are you doing here? What do you want from me?’

  ‘I have to admit I am quite taken by you. You are lovely, sensual, and irresistible...I need you for I am lonely...’

  ‘I’m sorry but I cannot help you.’

  ‘Oh but you can,’ Rajesh gazed deep into her eyes.

  Anjali dropped her eyes. Heat on her cheeks and lips dry – she licked them subconsciously.

  Rajesh took her face in his hands and kissed her with a passion she had not seen in a long while. A hand travelled under her sari cupping her breast. He began to fondle her, his need very strong against her body. Anjali struggled against his weight and finally pushed him off. She slapped him hard across the face.

  Rajesh sat back in his chair and wiped his mouth, grinning.

  ‘Well it is up to you, but you like me as much as I like you. You will come to me,’ Rajesh left her in more turmoil.

  Why did he do this to her? Why did she like his kisses and his touch? This was wrong, all wrong. Anjali paced the room wringing her hands. She stopped when she heard a loud crashing sound.

  ‘Ma!’

  That was Kajol’s voice! Anjali ran down the stairs to find her daughter in tears. Kajol was sitting on the last step nursing her elbow. Tears stained her face.

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘Ma, I’m hurt. She pushed me!’ Kajol pointed to Zakira, Tehzeeb’s daughter.

  ‘It wasn’t my fault. She slipped!’ the child cried.

  ‘You are a liar!’ Anjali slapped Zakira. ‘How dare you tell such lies? My daughter is hurt!’

  ‘What is all this shouting about?’ boomed Mohan’s voice as he came to the distressing scene.

  ‘Kajol was pushed down the stairs by that little –’ began Anjali.

  ‘I don’t want to hear it from you,’ Mohan shot Anjali a dark look. He turned to Zakira. ‘What happened beta?’

  Zakira, beside herself, could hardly speak. She looked fearfully at Anjali. Tehzeeb and Rajesh arrived.

  ‘It’s alright. Chotti Ma (Little Mother) will not say anything. Tell me what happened,’ Mohan coaxed Zakira.

  Tehzeeb took her daughter and soothed her. ‘Tell us what happened beta?’

  ‘We were playing and then Kajol slipped. She fell down the stairs,’ Zakira hiccupped. ‘Chotti Ma came and when I told her what happened, she didn’t believe me. She called me a liar and slapped me,’ she buried her face in her mother’s waist.

  Tehzeeb’s eyes flashed. ‘She is only a child! How dare you!’

  ‘She is lying!’ Anjali retorted.

  ‘I didn’t expect this of you, Anjali,’ disgust was evident on Mohan’s face. ‘What have you become?’

  He took Zakira into his arms and soothed her tearful face. He followed Tehzeeb away from Anjali. Kajol followed too.

  ‘I’m sorry Zakira. It was my fault. I’m sorry Ma slapped you.’

  Anjali heard Kajol’s voice loud and clear, her tears streamed. Rajesh leaned against the banister post. His expression said it all.

  Mohan did not talk to Anjali during the next few days and he had begun to spend the nights with Tehzeeb more frequently.

  Rajesh took advantage of the change, and took Mohan’s place in Anjali’s bed. They made love most nights. Anjali used Rajesh to punish Mohan; she was not ashamed nor did she feel guilty. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Tehzeeb and Mohan...and her blood boiled.

  ARIANNA

  TWENTY-FIVE

  ‘Did one of these two contact you?’ Arianna asked Jai, looking at Tianna and Khushboo.

  ‘Ari, you were in shreds when Nikhil left you. Nothing we could do or say would calm you,’ Khushboo said.

  ‘And you were beginning to get on my nerves,’ Tianna piped from inside her magazine.

  ‘Was I that bad?’

  ‘No, worse,’ said Tianna. ‘We had to do something. Khushboo asked me to email Jai but I had his number.

  ‘Where did –’ asked Arianna.

  ‘I took it from your phone,’ replied Tianna. ‘So I called, I knew he would come.’

  Arianna turned to Jai. ‘I can’t believe you jumped on a plane for me.’

  ‘Ti, this is getting personal and a little awkward. Let’s give them some space; I think they will be having a long conversation,’ Khushboo hopped
off the stool.

  Tianna took her magazine and blew Arianna and Jai a kiss before leaving. Jai laughed although Arianna showed her annoyance by scowling.

  ‘Let’s go outside, it is so beautiful,’ suggested Jai. ‘I want to see a little of Lucknow before I have to go home.’

  Arianna took Jai on a scenic stroll into the woodland. Jai held Arianna’s hand who smiled in return, relieved to feel a friend hold her hand and not a love struck boy.

  The skies blue, the sun high and bright, Arianna began liking the world again. Jai’s presence made her happy and Nikhil began to seem a distant memory.

  ‘You still can’t believe I am here, can you?’ Jai said as they settled on a grassy patch near a small waterfall.

  ‘No, but I am glad you came...Jai, I am sorry for leaving you as I did, it was not nice.’

  ‘I cannot lie and say I was not hurt Ari. It did hurt, a lot.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Arianna said again, wincing.

  Jai gave her a teddy bear hug. ‘I should say sorry for putting you through it. I am sorry and I have come to terms with it. You are my oldest friend and I love you as my best friend. I would do anything for you. And Ari, I also have something to tell you.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘I have met someone,’ Jai grinned.

  ‘You have?’ She play punched him on the arm.

  ‘Hey! That hurt!’ However, Jai was laughing.

  ‘You deserved that, and Jai, how could you considering you “loved” me,’ Arianna cocked her head.

  ‘Let’s just say I was infatuated by you but I soon came to my senses when you rejected me.’

  Arianna punched him on the arm again, this time a little harder.

  ‘Well, for what it’s worth I am truly pleased and happy for you,’ she said.

  Jai watched the waterfall. Arianna could see he was enjoying it all – the sun, the cool water particles that floated towards them from the waterfall and the lush greenery around them.

  ‘This is the life; it sure beats the weather back home,’ he said.

  ‘It is beautiful,’ agreed Arianna.