Chains of Regret

by Margaret Pargeter

  Helen trailed upstairs after him, as he went to change. She could have stayed where she was until he had gone, but she didn’t relish one of the maids finding her upset.

  In her room, because she felt so terribly cold, she stripped off her wet clothes and ran a hot bath. The bathroom, like her bedroom, had been newly decorated.

  A luxurious coloured suite had been installed, with toning tiles on the walls and marble ones on the floor.

  Mirrors lined one wall, giving Helen a full-length view of herself as she stepped from the bath. Before wrapping herself in a huge, fluffy towel, she caught a quick glimpse of a girl of average height, very slender, with full breasts, narrow waist and long,’ beautiful legs.

  Ordinary, she thought, with an indifferent shrug, failing to notice anything special. Bitterly she concentrated, instead, on the new decor. When she had returned from France she had regarded it merely as a sign of her father’s increasing affluence and wept that he hadn’t lived to enjoy it.

  Despairingly she returned to her room and flopped on the bed. Never again would she take anything for granted. She still felt stunned and numb from what she had just learnt. Drawing a ragged breath, she tried to envisage what it was going to be like when the numbness wore off and the real pain began. Already she was beginning to feel she had been ripped to pieces.

  Like a reel of broken film, thoughts passed disjointedly through her mind. So—the firm had gone bust. Nothing extraordinary about that in times of recession. What was extraordinary, and hurt most, was that her father hadn’t told her about it. If he had, whatever reason he might have given, she couldn’t have been more hurt than she was now. Stein had hinted that Lester had gone-bankrupt because he had been both careless and extravagant. So had Mr. Dent.

  It was probably true, she admitted dully, recalling things which had struck her as odd at the time. Phone calls from women who’d refused to give their names. It hadn’t happened often enough to make her really curious, but it was something she remembered now with a frown. And Lester had been furious when the manager of a famous casino had contacted her at Oakfield to ask if she could tell him where he was. This all made sense now, in view of what Stein had said and Mr. Dent’s delicately discreet hints of the afternoon. But, like Stein, he had insisted that the true cause of Lester’s downfall had been his inability to keep abreast of times.

  Helen sighed as she thought of her father’s constant moans that she hadn’t been born a boy. He might have been trying to use her as an excuse for his own deficiencies, she realised sadly, filled with pity for him, despite the way he had made her suffer. Obviously, for some reason, when the finn collapsed, he had been unable to face her knowing he was a failure. According to Lester it was only women who failed. Perhaps that was why he had merely amused himself with them instead of marrying again, and why, until the last few months, he had almost entirely rejected his daughter.

  Helen had no idea how long she sat on her bed thinking of her. father and trying to sort something out of the chaos he had left behind. If she was glad of one thing it was that she felt no bitterness towards him.

  She was grateful that she could still remember him with affection even if it didn’t help in solving her immediate problems. She was still trying to decide what to do when Hilary brought her a tray.

  ‘Mr. Maddison rang from London.’ She gazed at Helen curiously. ‘He said you weren’t feeling well and I had to bring your dinner up here.’

  Helen thanked her, feeling surprised. She wondered why Stein had bothered. When he had last spoken to her she had got the impression he wouldn’t care if she starved. He must have guessed she would stay in her room.

  ‘Can I get you anything else?’ Hilary asked.

  ‘Oh, no, thank you.’

  ‘Well, you can always ring.’ Hilary’s brown eyes wandered enviously over Helen’s long, luxuriant hair.

  ‘I do wish my hair was like yours, miss!’ she burst out, ‘It’s so thick and glossy it looks like silk. Mrs Swinden thinks you must spend a fortune on it.’

  ‘Well, I don’t,’ Helen said dryly, wishing she had a fortune, if only to repay Stein! ‘I suppose I’m just lucky,’ she managed to raise a faint smile, ‘I have it cut, that’s all, and it grows again very quickly.’

  As Hilary departed,” her eyes still envious, Helen glanced at the tray she had left with a complete lack of interest. She had been reluctant to ask Hilary for some aspirin, then suddenly remembered there was some in the bathroom cabinet. After finding them and swallowing two with a glass of water, she lay down and began pondering again, although her head felt like it might explode any minute.

  She hadn’t heard Stein go out, nor did she hear him come in, but when a noise woke her, hours later, she decided it might have been his car door closing. It must have been Paul dropping him off on the forecourt below. When Stein drove himself he usually took the car straight into the garage and was much quieter.

  Dismally she wondered who he had been dining with, whether it had been Barbara or someone equally glamorous.

  Wearily she rubbed a hand over her face. Her eyes were damp and felt hot and sore, as if she’d been crying in her sleep. She realised she must have fallen asleep, despite having so much on her mind. She had been going impatiently over everything that had happened during the last eighteen months, sure that something was still eluding her.

  And suddenly, in the darkness, she knew with a sense of shock what it was. Once more she found herself reeling. Before she had fallen asleep she had been concentrating on finding a way out of her present predicament. When no immediate solution had presented itself, apart from running away, she had been

  distracted enough to have overlooked one of the most important issues-the one she had known subconsciously was there but which she had been unable to pinpoint. If her father had still owed money after selling the firm, where had her pocket money and dress allowance come from afterwards? There had also been her beautiful sports car and the five thousand pounds he had sent to France-not to mention the expensive clothes she had recently bought in London.

  Had Lester borrowed from Stein? Almost in tears again, Helen smothered an anguished whimper. It must have been Stein, because who else would have loaned him anything? No one in their right mind would have done it, considering the circumstances. And if she owed Stein all this money, no wonder he was threatening to have her arrested if she tried to escape!

  She had to find out for sure. An overwhelming sense of panic pushed everything else from her mind.

  Without bothering to fling on more than a light robe, she hurried straight to his room.

  Pushing open the door, she stumbled so badly she nearly fell through it. Stein looked as if he hadn’t been many seconds in bed. His chest was bare, but a blanket and sheet covered his legs. One hand was raised towards the switch above his head as if he was just about to put out the light.

  When he saw Helen he jerked upright, swinging his feet to the floor. ‘What the devil?’ he exclaimed, cursing sharply beneath his breath as she almost flung herself at him.

  ‘Stein!’ she gasped incoherently, raising wild blue eyes to his grim, startled face. ‘You have to tell me! Where did all the money come from?’

  ‘What money?’ he snapped, searching her stricken features as she fell by his side, with eyes which showed visible signs of tiredness. ‘For God’s sake, Helen!’ he removed her clutching hands from his arms, holding her still, ‘What is this? I’ve had a long day and don’t feel up to hysterics. I can’t think of anything that couldn’t have waited until morning. Unless,’ he taunted, ‘you at last want to come to bed with me?’

  ‘Can’t you stop making silly remarks?’ Helen cried, too disturbed to think what she was saying.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Stein jibed smoothly, ‘I imagined it was the kind of invitation a woman was after when she came to a man’s bedroom at this hour.’

  Helen flushed when, as though to emphasise his mocking words, his hands slid under her robe to tighten on her shoulders.
His fingers moving on her bare skin began penetrating the frozen state of shock she was in.

  As her heart beat faster, she wished desperately that she wasn’t as responsive to his slightest touch. She wished she wasn’t so sure he knew it!

  The tension in the room mounted until she could actually feel it altering her breathing. Helplessly her eyes wandered, coming to a jolting halt on Stein’s bare chest. It was the first time she had ever seen him like this and her eyes darkened at the wholly sexual impact.

  She had known he was no weakling, but she hadn’t guessed at the expanse of firmly muscled flesh or the solid width of his shoulders.

  ‘Are you trying to make me believe you’ve never seen anyone like me before?’ he taunted. ‘It’s a pity I didn’t leave off my pyjama trousers-I don’t usually wear them.’

  ‘That’s a hateful thing to say!’ she whispered, hating the heat that flooded her. Sobs rose to her throat while she strove to be calm. Hoarsely she tried to explain the real reason for her visit, but her voice suddenly failed, which gave him .another chance to bait her.

  ‘If you think you can buy your freedom by coming here, tonight, you’re making a mistake,’ he rasped. ‘I’ll have you when I’m good and ready, not before. Don’t imagine you can wipe out what you owe me in a brief half hour. Your punishment is going to be slow and painful, not something you’re going to be able to forget in a hurry.’

  ‘You must be out of your mind!’ she cried, finding her voice at last, even if she scarcely recognised it.

  ‘Not quite,’ he retorted, obviously quite unmoved by the fear clearly visible behind her defiance, ‘But it might do you no harm to think so. We have a lot to look forward to.’

  ‘But why?’ Helen whispered, so shaken and bewildered she could think of nothing but his threats. ‘I’m aware I neglected my father, but it wasn’t intentional and I don’t believe he bore me any real animosity.

  As for you and me,’ she choked, ‘if we’ve never had a great deal in common that’s surely not something I have to be punished for!’

  She saw his mouth go hard while his eyes smouldered savagely and a nerve jerked briefly in his cheek.

  Panic rose up inside her as he looked as if he was remembering a lot he would like to have strangled her for. As his hands slid around her slender neck and his thumb found the racing pulse in her throat, she wondered apprehensively if he was actually going to do it. Then the pressure eased and he merely said harshly, ‘It amused you to treat me like dirt.’

  Helen’s lips trembled. Stein had told her this before.

  He seemed determined she shouldn’t forget it. Of course some of the things she had accused him of had been unforgivable, and he wasn’t exactly the forgiving kind, She didn’t attempt to turn away, bearing the contempt of his stare as bravely as she could. She had a lot to make up for, but Stein wasn’t making it easy. She didn’t know where to begin.

  His eyes flared darkly as he read her confused thoughts. ‘You aren’t the only one who’s ever tried to humiliate me, Helen, although it hasn’t happened in years. Long ago I acquired the knack of dealing very effectively with those who decided I needed taking down a peg or two.’

  ‘But you still don’t like opposition from women?’

  ‘I don’t have it from women.’ he replied derisively.

  ‘You’re the first-you can believe it.’

  This Helen didn’t doubt. She remembered how at parties, before she went away, women had flocked around him. Since coming back, she had only seen him with Barbara, and she had looked ready to obey his every command without the slightest protest. God knew how many others there were, she relected bitterly, ready to commit hara-kiri for him. Once she had thought he had eyes only for Helen Davis. Now she could laugh at her own stupidity. Stein had simply been amusing himself until, surprisingly, the novelty of her rejection began getting under his skin. It must have festered like a sore during the year she had been in France, and he was determined to use any means he could find to cleanse himself of it!

  ‘Don’t you think you’d be wiser just to throw me out and forget about me?’ she asked bleakly.

  CHAPTER SIX

  IN the lamplight Stein’s eyes glinted angrily, making Helen shiver again. She must never forget he was capable of reprisals far beyond her powers of retaliation. And, physically, he was more than a match for her delicate strength. She didn’t believe any woman would be able to stand up to him.

  ‘You’d like that, wouldn’t you?’ he muttered. ‘A quick, clean break. No, my dear Helen, I intend keeping you at Oakfield until you come crawling on your knees saying you’re sorry.’

  ‘You wouldn’t be content with just that,’ she whispered, judging from the extreme hardness of his expression.

  ‘You’re damned right I wouldn’t,’ he snapped. ‘I’m going to make you pay in sweat and tears for a long time to come.’

  When he spoke of making her pay it started a chain of reaction in her mind. ‘Stein!’ she gasped distractedly.

  ‘That’s what I came to see you about—repaying you all that money!’

  ‘What—money?’ he asked flatly.

  His glance was wandering slowly over the tender curves of her slender figure, clearly outlined under her thin night attire. In his eyes lay the kind of desire she always shrank from.

  Her throat went dry. Like someone half drunk she began reeling everything off. ‘The five thousand I asked for when I went to France. My pocket money after I left the firm. My car, the clothes I bought the other day in London. Where did it all come from?’

  Despite the broken notes in her voice, Stein appeared to follow her very well. His mouth thinned cruelly.

  ‘I thought you’d never ask. Where do you think it came from?’

  Helen shivered, a sudden faintness coming over her.

  The room darkened, she felt sick. She forced herself to look at him and there wasn’t a vestige of pity in his face. ‘If my father was practically bankrupt, it must have been you.’

  ‘Yes. Your father didn’t have a penny left,’ he said frankly. ‘In fact, I paid off his remaining debts.’

  Colour crept under her skin at his contemptuous tone. ‘Why?’ she asked, her eyes anguished.

  He shrugged indifferently. ‘I didn’t miss it. And I believed he might be able to pay me back. It didn’t amount to all that much.’

  She glanced down, feeling terribly chilled. ‘When he tried to borrow money for me why didn’t you refuse?’

  Stein’s mouth tightened impatiently. ‘If I hadn’t obliged someone else would have, and I might only have had to rescue him from the clutches of some disreputable money lender. He was determined to get it from somewhere, and perhaps it amused me to see how far you would go.’

  ‘And now you have me in your clutches,’ she retorted bitterly.

  ‘That’s about it,’ he agreed silkily, ‘although I wouldn’t have put it quite so dramatically.’

  ‘Whichever way one puts it,’ Helen cried wildly, ‘it amounts to the same thing!’

  His face darkened. ‘I realise you meant to sell up here and return to Paris, and I’m sorry if you’re feeling frustrated, but there’s no way you can escape. You’ve done wrong and I’m going to see you pay for it.’

  His grey glance ruthlessly searched her face, seeing the helpless pallor, the shadowed eyes and trembling, unhappy mouth. ‘Co-operate,’ he said thickly, suddenly drawing her closer, ‘and one day I might let you go. But fight me and you could soon wish you were dead!’

  Helen closed her eyes as she was drawn against his I hard, muscled thighs. His harsh words washed over her his gaze full of such burning intensity that she didn’t doubt he meant everything he said. She wondered if he had been drinking, but there was no smell of alcohol on his breath. ‘Oh, God!’ she moaned.

  He drew a sharp breath. ‘Don’t push me too far,’ he warned. ‘Remember I haven’t started yet.’

  ‘I have to keep my self-respect,’ she choked, trying to defy him. It was a message
for herself as well, as her heart began accelerating crazily.

  ‘Self-respect!’ he laughed harshly. He didn’t have to tell her he considered this something she had already lost.

  Helen closed her eyes and shuddered against him as she felt the brush of his mouth. The fleeting touch of his kiss sent fever flooding along her veins and her whole face became suffused with colour. The shock she had suffered, her nearness to a complete breakdown, seemed no barrier to the feelings he aroused. As his hands caressed her she tensed, but was unable to resist her own desire to be as close to him as possible.

  She wanted to feel his mouth against hers, and a long sigh of hunger escaped her parted lips. He might threaten until she hated him, but never again would she be able to deny that there was something between them. In an incredible way, for surely he was responsible for it, being in his arms seemed to relieve the terrible sense of unhappiness which had beset her for days, reaching its dreadful culmination that afternoon. Just being near him relieved the frightening sensation of being alone. Instead of pulling back, she curved herself tightly to his hard, male body, breathing so fast she knew he must hear it.