Worse Things Happen at Sea!

by Alan Snow

  “You’ve changed!”

  Fish nodded and splashed some more.

  “Very good, Fish. You really are living up to your name,” Willbury called from the rail of the ship.

  He had never seen Fish look so happy.

  “Come on in and join us,” Arthur called back.

  “No, no, no. I shall leave it to you young ones to enjoy the waters. I had a good wash this morning.”

  “When do we go ashore?” Arthur asked Tom.

  “I think we’ll leave it until tomorrow. It mightn’t be wise to go into the jungle just as it gets dark.”

  As the sun went down, the crew set fishing lines off the sides of the ship and soon had enough for supper. The boiler still had enough heat in it to cook the fish, and in a few minutes everybody was tucking in. The crew even passed some through the bars to Snatcher and his mob.

  The boiler still had enough heat in it to cook the fish.

  Arthur sat with Willbury and Fish as they tucked in.

  “Be interesting to see what happens tomorrow.”

  “Yes, Arthur. I hope we do find the plants we are looking for. There is a chance we won’t. God alone knows what’s on that island.”

  This they were to discover first thing the following morning. The night had been very dark, but as the sun broke over the horizon, it silhouetted the shape of a huge lizard walking toward the ship.

  On deck Kipper and Bert saw it at the same time and let out a huge scream.

  “WHAT IS IT?”

  The monster moved closer.

  “WHAT IS IT?”

  Welsh Cheeses Eaten!

  This morning tearful members of the RWCA reported that all imported Welsh cheeses seem to have been eaten.

  “It seems they were easy prey. Even though they have not fared so well in recent times, our local cheeses have a certain cunning and speed. The Welsh cheeses were pale and rather weak, so were very vulnerable. When our newly appointed cheese warden went out to inspect them this morning, there were none left.”

  When asked what was to be the next move to save our cheeses, the RWCA spokesman shrugged his shoulders and muttered that they might have to consider stronger foreign cheeses.

  This paper says, “DO WE WANT FOREIGN CHEESE?”

  “You’ve got to get out!”

  chapter 28

  MONSTER!

  The monster was huge . . . and coming straight toward them. Everyone started panicking.

  “What are we going to do?”

  “I . . . I don’t know. That thing is coming straight at us, and it doesn’t look friendly.”

  “Load up the cannon?”

  “It would be like firing a peashooter at an elephant!”

  “How about every man for himself! Swim for the shore!”

  “Is swimming for the shore a good idea?” asked Marjorie. “That monster has come from the island, after all—who knows what else might be lurking on there?”

  Tom looked thoughtful. “You are right . . . but I don’t think we have any choice! If we stay on the ship, we are just sitting ducks. I’m going to give the order to make for the island.”

  “What about Snatcher and his men?” Arthur pointed out. “They’re locked in the sail store.”

  Everyone looked at the door. There was no time to think.

  “I think we had better let them out? If not . . .”

  “Are you sure you don’t just want to leave them to their fate?” Bert asked.

  “No. We can’t be that heartless. Let them out.”

  Reluctantly Bert unlocked the door.

  “You’ve got to get out!”

  “Why?”

  “There’s a monster about to attack us. If you want to save yourselves, swim for the shore.”

  It took a few moments for the news to sink in, and then Snatcher spoke again.

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “All of you! Come out here and have a look.”

  They did as they were told and looked toward where the crew were staring.

  “Blooming Henry! Swim for your lives!”

  A stream of Snatcher’s men followed him over the side and started to make for the beach.

  “Okay! Abandon ship!” ordered Tom. “And Kipper, you’d better go and let Fingle and the doctor free.”

  Kipper rushed below deck, returned with the bilge residents, and with rather too much enthusiasm “helped” them over the side.

  Arthur felt a hand on his shoulder.

  “I can’t swim.” It was Willbury.

  Arthur looked about the deck for something that would float and spotted the apple barrel.

  “Kipper, Marjorie! Give me a hand.”

  They managed to roll the barrel across the deck and lower it over the side so it floated mouth up in the water. Then they helped Willbury climb down and into the barrel.

  “We’ll be able to push him along with us.”

  “Okay!” shouted Kipper, and joined Arthur and the others as they jumped into the sea.

  “Push!”

  Arthur looked toward the monster. It was only about two hundred yards from the ship and closing fast. The barrel was moving very slowly.

  “Push harder!” he cried.

  “Push harder!”

  “Thank you for saving me,” came a weak voice from inside the barrel.

  No one was left on the ship apart from the trotting badgers, but the sea was filled with very energetic swimmers. Between strokes everybody was keeping an eye on the lumbering monster.

  It reached the ship and stopped. Its enormous eyes scanned the decks. Then it slowly looked to left and right in the sea.

  “It’s seen us!”

  Arthur watched as the enormous head turned toward them. It opened its huge wide mouth and revealed tombstone-sized teeth.

  Screaming mixed with the sound of the waves.

  It opened its huge wide mouth and revealed tombstone-sized teeth.

  Inside the brain of the monster there was confusion.

  chapter 29

  MONSTROUS THOUGHTS

  Inside the brain of the monster there was confusion.

  “What are we going to do now?”

  “Tell the neck to turn from side to side, and have the eyes look about and report back.”

  “They have all jumped in the sea and are swimming for the beach,” came the message from the eyes.

  “I think we’ve really scared them.”

  “We’ll have to pick them up out of the water. Open up the mouth and bend over a little bit.”

  The escaping swimmers were within easy reach of a quick snap and were starting to panic.

  There was a certain amount of worry inside the monster’s head as well.

  “If we don’t start grabbing them out of the water, we are going to lose some of them. Bend over more!”

  “Okay, jaws, when you are in position, start swallowing, and try not to take in too much water.”

  Arthur watched in horror as the monster struck. Its mouth lowered over three trailing swimmers and closed.

  “Push Willbury faster or it will get us!”

  The monster tipped its head back and swallowed. Then leaned forward again for another mouthful.

  The monster tipped its head back and swallowed.

  In the stomach the first of the screaming swimmers arrived.

  “Aaaaaargh!”

  Then they hit the stomach floor.

  Boing! Boing! Boing!

  “Uh?”

  “What’s going on?”

  “I can’t see anything.”

  “Are we dead?”

  “No. I don’t think so. In fact, I feel all right apart from being eaten by a monster.”

  “Me too. Did you bounce?”

  “Yes.”

  “Me too.”

  “What happens now?”

  “I don’t think it’s so good. We get digested. Something like that. I should’ve listened more at school.”

  “I should’ve listened more at school.”

/>   Then they covered their heads as they heard more screaming from above, and a few moments later, they were joined by the next mouthful.

  Arthur could not bear to look back. They could hear the monster behind them, and this gave the spur to swim as hard as they could. Slowly the screaming behind them grew less as more and more swimmers were swallowed, until Arthur guessed they were the last.

  “Faster! We’re almost at the beach.”

  “Whatever happens, I just want you to know you’ve all been good friends to me,” Kipper spluttered.

  A shadow fell over them, and Arthur felt something lifting them from the water.

  “GOOD-BYE, ARTHUR!” shouted Willbury, just before the monster’s jaws closed around them all.

  “GOOD-BYE, ARTHUR!”

  Banged to Rights

  In a raid on the Ratbridge Women’s Guild this afternoon twenty-seven women were arrested. Cheese hounds led the police to a church hall where the women were found in possession of shards of cheese. None of the “Cheesy Crimesses” denied it, instead claiming not to have been able to control themselves. Do we believe this? NO! Send them down!

  “Whoever has got his knee in my ear, will you kindly shift it!”

  chapter 30

  GUTTED!

  “Well done, jaws. I think we’ve got the lot of them.”

  “Back to the beach?”

  “I think we better had. Our stomach is so full, I think we might not be able to eat for a week.”

  There was some laughing inside the head, and the creature made for the beach.

  * * *

  “Whoever has got his knee in my ear, will you kindly shift it!” demanded Kipper.

  “And whoever’s sitting on my head, will you please shift your butt!” This time Arthur recognized Snatcher’s voice from immediately below him.

  “Sorry.” Arthur moved himself to cause less moaning. Then the stomach started to shake and quiver.

  “We’re moving!”

  The creature walked slowly across the lagoon and up the beach.

  A message went out from the eyes. “Okay. We are on dry land!”

  On receiving this information, a command went out from the head to the legs to stop.

  The feet of the monster settled in the sand, and the creature came to rest.

  Inside the stomach the monster’s breakfast fell silent. Arthur’s face was pressed against a warm rubbery wall. He heard something through it. At first he wasn’t sure what it was, but slowly he realized it was muffled talking.

  The wall moved just above his head, pushing against him, and then a hole appeared. Daylight rushed in and a split zipped down past him.

  Arthur found himself falling, along with the rest of the stomach’s contents, onto the beach. It took a few moments before his eyes became used to the sunlight, and then he heard something he didn’t quite believe.

  “Sorry about that. We didn’t mean to scare you. But once we had, the quickest way to stop anybody drowning was to eat you.”

  Surrounding them were about a hundred rather large and very apologetic-looking people. They all had soft brown skin and wore brightly colored wraps of cloth.

  A big woman walked forward toward the pile of bodies.

  Arthur found himself falling, along with the rest of the stomach’s contents, onto the beach.

  “We’re very sorry, but we usually spot any ships before they arrive and can scare them away.”

  Arthur looked from the woman to the monster behind them. He wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but it didn’t look so scary now. In fact, it didn’t look scary at all. More like a lot of scaffolding wrapped in old dirty sheets.

  “It’s not real!” Arthur exclaimed.

  “That’s right.”

  “Did you make it?”

  The large woman smiled. “Yes . . . well, I say yes—our people made it a couple of hundred years ago when the ships started to arrive and cause trouble. We just keep it going to stop outsiders from bothering us. Worked pretty well up until now.”

  “You’re speaking English!” exclaimed Marjorie.

  This had not struck Arthur until this point, but now it did seem odd.

  “Yes. Let me explain, but first I would like to formally introduce myself and welcome you to our island. I’m Queen Florence, but you can all call me Flo.”

  She bowed, and the contents of the monster’s stomach struggled to their feet to return the greeting.

  Then the queen went on. “We hoped you might be English, as we find the language so poetic. We learned it from a sailor who got washed up here. Quite often when we have a day off, we will practice it.”

  “You seem to speak excellent English, ma’am,” said Willbury.

  “Thank you. I try to learn as many languages as I can. It really helps to understand the cultures. What languages do you speak?”

  There was an embarrassed silence from the English speakers in front of her.

  “Oh well. You should try it. Our own language is very beautiful for doing math and science but doesn’t have so many fancy words for art and romance. Now, I have a question. Why have you come here?”

  There was a silence while the shipmates looked at one another rather awkwardly.

  “Thank you for your welcome.” Willbury took the lead, as no one else seemed to want to. “It’s a long story, but it can be put down to some of us wanting to cure some people, while others here want to poison them.”

  “And which of you are which?”

  The crew separated themselves from Snatcher and his mob, leaving the doctor and Fingle standing between them. Then, seeing the look on Snatcher’s face, both Fingle and the doctor moved to join the crew.

  Willbury pointed at Snatcher’s group. “These characters have poisoned some of our townsfolk with a potion that drives them crazy with a desire for cheese. We believe they got the ingredient from a plant from this island and that in order to cure our people, we need to get another plant that grows here.”

  Queen Flo looked very concerned. “I think I know what you’re talking about. The Black Cabbage Tree and the Un-Cabbage Flower. But how did this happen? I didn’t know anybody had taken any Cabbage Tree seeds away.”

  A man standing next to the queen broke in. “I bet it’s Guillemot, and the mob from Shopping Island. You just can’t trust them.”

  Guillemot.

  There was much nodding of heads and muttering from the islanders.

  “Who’re they?” asked Willbury.

  The man standing by the queen’s side spoke again. “There is an island five miles north of here where a people very unlike us live. It’s very strange, but they live to shop. We try not to have much to do with them, but on occasion they do turn up. They’re a right bunch!”

  “Yes,” added the queen. “On this island things are pretty perfect. We’ve everything we need to live on, and plenty of spare time to play and think. On their island they have everything they need too, but spend most of their time trying to outdo one another, by selling or shopping. It’s very sad.”

  “And this man Guillemot?”

  “Guillemot is a trader. He turned up on their island and fit right in. Ships visit their island occasionally, and he organizes trading between the islanders and the ships.”

  “And the ships never visit here because of your monster?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Does your monster keep the islanders from the other island away as well?

  “Not really. They knew about us building the monster and don’t say anything because I think it suits them that people visit them instead of us.”

  “And you’ve met this Guillemot?”

  “Yes. He’s been over here a few times trying to get us to trade with him, but we’re not interested. Last time he was over, he came when some others needed our medicine, and he charged them for a ride in his boat. So Guillemot probably knows about our seeds. I’m guessing he must have stolen some, and is in part responsible for your Cabbage Tree poisoning.”

 
Willbury looked at Snatcher, who was looking very ill at ease. “Is that so?”

  Willbury looked at Snatcher, who was looking very ill at ease.

  Snatcher smirked.

  “I’ll take that as a yes, then.” Willbury looked back at the queen. “Do you think you can help us?”

  “Certainly! If your people have been poisoned by our Black Cabbage Tree, it is down to us to help put things right. It may take a few nights to collect the Un-Cabbage Flowers, but then you will be able to cure the mania.”

  “Thank you,” said Arthur. “My grandfather is going to need some.”

  “You mean to say that they’ve been poisoning old people?” Queen Flo was outraged and stared at Snatcher in disbelief. The crowd around her started to look very angry.

  “Yes, he has. He got everybody he could to take his poison, and he wanted to come here to get more seeds so he could poison more,” said Arthur.

  “And how many people in total has he poisoned?”

  “It must be at least several hundred.”

  “Shocking! We’ll start collecting this tonight. The only time you can pick the Un-Cabbage Flowers is at night after the cabbage rain.”

  Arthur and his friends looked very puzzled.

  “Every evening there is a rain that falls in the forest, and this washes the poison down from the Black Cabbage Trees. When this happens, the Un-Cabbage Flowers start to produce the antidote, and by morning the forest is safe again. If you need to make medicine to cure illnesses, you need to collect Black Cabbage Tree seeds by day and then very carefully collect the Un-Cabbage Flowers by night. As we only need the Un-Cabbage Flowers, we’ll have to work at night. Now, tell me about this horrid man,” she said, and pointed to Snatcher.

  Between Arthur and the others they told the story. As soon as they had heard what had happened, the islanders offered to keep Snatcher and his men in a cave nearby.

  “It’s safe and they won’t be able to get out. We used to use it to keep anybody who had the cheese mania before we discovered how to cure them with the Un-Cabbage Flowers.”