Worse Things Happen at Sea!

by Alan Snow

  “So if we sign, we get to go home, but heaven knows what will happen when we get there?” said Marjorie.

  “You never know what Snatcher might have got planned for us on the way home, either. Once we are on the ship, we would be at his mercy,” added Bert.

  “Why don’t we just wait until the next ship comes along?” asked Kipper.

  “We could, but if we stay here, we have no idea when we might get home, and what we’ll find when we get there,” said Willbury. “With all those cabbage seeds Snatcher could cause untold mayhem.”

  “And if he takes that monster back too, he’ll be unstoppable,” Bert added.

  “And I need to get back to Grandfather!” said Arthur urgently. “I can’t leave him alone, especially if Snatcher is going back to cause more trouble.”

  “Anyway,” said Marjorie firmly, “we can’t do what he asks. There’s just no way we can hand over wild cheeses, or the cabbage seeds.”

  “If you want to go home, you’s going to have to accept the lot,” Gristle muttered.

  Queen Flo spoke again. “We haven’t actually seen any wild cheeses for at least two years. Tell Snatcher if he wants the cheeses, he might have to wait a long, long time.”

  Gristle looked worried. “He ain’t goin’ to like that.”

  “Would you mind leaving us alone for a few minutes?”

  Gristle wandered off to poke the trapped shopping birds with a stick while the terms were discussed.

  Gristle wandered off to poke the trapped shopping birds with a stick.

  “So what do we do?”

  Arthur felt awful. “I have to go back. How can I stay here not knowing what’s happening to Grandfather? Perhaps Snatcher will agree to take just me without the cheeses and the cabbage seeds.”

  “If one of us goes back, we all have to,” Willbury said solemnly.

  “Willbury is right,” said Bert. “I think we will have to accept Snatcher’s conditions and take our chance. There is no way Arthur can stay here while his grandfather is ill, and we all have to do our best to stop Snatcher getting loose with that monster back home.”

  It seemed very sad, but they’d have to aid Snatcher—at least for now.

  “Then we will just have to come up with a plan to make sure we can get the better of Snatcher and his men,” said Marjorie.

  “Like what?”

  “I’m not sure yet, but it had better be good.”

  “Like what?”

  The birds were extremely unhappy.

  chapter 39

  PROVISIONS

  The next two days were frenetic. The first job was releasing the shopping birds. The birds were extremely unhappy. Surprisingly not so much at being trapped, but at not getting the bargain deal they’d signed up for. Bert took charge of proceedings and ordered his helpers to arm themselves with their spears—but to wrap towels around one end so as not to puncture the birds. Then, while one group held down the birds with their padded spears, others released the pegs. As soon as the net was off, the birds struggled so much that it became impossible to restrain them, and Bert’s crew pulled back to avoid being pecked. The birds jumped out of the pit. Then they started complaining about not getting their special deal. Bert was not sure what to do, and as the threat of pecking seemed to have passed, he guessed it would be all right just to let them wander about until hopefully they would find their way home. This didn’t happen. Instead the birds got in the way of everything, and filled the air with complaints. Kipper was very tempted to insult them again when two birds started following him and telling him that if they didn’t get their deal, they would go to see the local trading standards officer and possibly write to the paper. Fortunately, Tom stopped him in time.

  “Apart from frying them, what are we going to do with them?” whispered Kipper.

  “I’m not sure. They just won’t stop going on about this blooming deal that Snatcher promised them,” Tom replied. “But we’ve got to do something—I don’t think I can stand much more of this squawking.”

  “It’s obvious that Snatcher offered them some sort of deal to get them to help him. He probably never intended to carry it through. Perhaps we should ask him about it. Something has to be done—otherwise, we are never going to get the provisions he wants onboard.”

  “You are right. If he want the provisions, he has to get the birds off our backs.”

  Kipper and Tom took one of the fishing boats, rowed out to the ship, and asked to speak to Snatcher. They waited for a minute or two, and then Snatcher came to the rail and eyed them up.

  “What do you two want?”

  “The shopping birds are causing problems with us getting your provisions ready. Since we released them, all they have done is wander about complaining about some deal you made with them and getting in the way. It’s making it almost impossible to work. We wonder if you might be able to sort the situation out.”

  “What do you two want?”

  Snatcher smiled slyly.

  “Don’t worry. I can sort this. Can’t have them disturbing the provisions. Just row back and tell them that they will be given everything they were promised as a big thank-you for helping me out. Then use the boats to ferry them out here, and we’ll use the ship to take them back to their island and give them what they have got coming.”

  When Kipper and Tom returned to the beach, the birds were delighted with the news and, without any instruction, formed an excited queue at the water’s edge. The complaints were now replaced with feverish speculation as to what they were about to receive, and delight at not having to travel back to their island in the nest boats.

  “What do you think Snatcher is going to give them?” Arthur asked Tom.

  “Whatever it is, I am sure it’s no real bargain.”

  Quiet returned to the beach as the birds departed, and once they were aboard, the ship set off to their island. A few hours later, the ship returned with only Snatcher and his crew.

  On the beach the provisions stacked up, and the fishing boats started to ferry them across to the ship. Arthur was aboard one of the first loads and noticed a couple of rather strange changes. The crew looked a little battered and had lots of fresh cuts and bruises, and the doors down to the captain’s cabin were open again. Gristle and some of the others were washing down the stairwell.

  Gristle noticed him looking at them. “We got rid of them badgers as well.”

  This seemed a bit odd, but even Arthur sighed with relief at the idea of not having to share the journey home with them.

  “Arthur was aboard one of the first loads.”

  (Little did Arthur know, but only six weeks later, the shopping birds would become extinct, and a few months after that, a whaling ship found a man floating in an open boat in the middle of the Pacific. The man was covered in scars and asked his rescuers if they would like to buy a vest.)

  The list of provisions was ticked off as it was loaded from the beach, and finally all that was left was the black cabbage seeds. There were very mixed feelings about handing these over, but little else could be done if Arthur and his friends were ever to get home. The villagers had gathered sacks of seeds from the forest, and there was a very ominous feeling when it became time to load them onto the boats.

  Willbury watched as the heavy sacks were placed in the boats, then turned and shook his head.

  With everything needed for the voyage onboard, Snatcher announced they were to leave the following morning. On shore for the last night the islanders gave the prisoners a last feast. Things seemed not to have turned out well, but the islanders gave their new friends as much of a party as the mood allowed. A pit was dug and large rocks taken from a fire were placed in it, and then parcels of food wrapped in banana leaves were placed on the rock before the pit was filled with sand and allowed to bake for a few hours. When the food was served, Arthur and his friends declared that it really was some of the best food they had ever eaten. They drank coconut shell after coconut shell of fruit juices and took turns singing song
s. The rats and pirates sang sea shanties, and the islanders sang their own local lullabies. The singing went on long into the night, but slowly they settled in their hammocks among the trees for the last time.

  Arthur lay looking up at the stars. It felt very strange. Here he was in such a beautiful place, but tomorrow he and his friends were going to give themselves up to Snatcher. It was the early hours before he finally went to sleep.

  At daybreak he awoke and found his friends around him, taking down their hammocks and packing up their things in silence. They finished a breakfast of fresh fruit, as they knew it would be a long time till they ate so well again, and then loaded up fishing boats while the islanders chatted to them and looked on. As they climbed aboard, there were many hugs and quite a few tears.

  Then Queen Flo spoke. “We wish we could have met you in different circumstances, but we wish you well and hope that an opportunity to turn things around comes up.”

  “We really must thank you,” replied Willbury. “I think you know we’ll be looking for every chance that comes along.”

  With that, the boats set off from the shore toward the ship. When they reached the ship, one “prisoner” was allowed on deck at a time, and as they were, they were searched right down to their underpants to make sure that no Un-Cabbage Flowers were being hidden. The gloom on the faces of the prisoners seemed to delight Snatcher’s men, and they took great pleasure in poking fun at them and telling them how they would punish them if the prisoners stepped out of line. Even Bert held his tongue when Gristle made jokes about his red tail.

  They were searched right down to their underpants.

  The fishing boats went back to the beach, and the islanders returned to wave a last farewell as the anchor was raised. Arthur and his friends were sad to be leaving their island and—between the many jobs they were given—waved until the ship was long past the reef and the island was almost lost from sight.

  “I am sorry we brought trouble to them,” said Arthur.

  “Yes. They didn’t deserve it. Perhaps they can get back to the quiet life now,” replied Willbury as he watched the disappearing island.

  “I doubt it will be as quiet a life now that their monster has been taken away. Anybody might turn up.”

  So the return journey began, and Snatcher was reveling in his power. He was very, very careful to keep the guard on the prisoners and would have happily locked them below, but he knew that his “officers” were incapable of sailing the ship home.

  “It won’t stop me from dropping them in the drink when we get close to home, though,” he confided to Gristle. “And the Good Doctor and Fingle might be going for a dip as well . . .”

  “It won’t stop me from dropping them in the drink.”

  The ship sailed south and things got a lot rougher, both the sea and the prisoners’ treatment at the hands of the “officers.” In the bilges it was foul and wet, and the hammocks swung so violently that it was almost impossible to sleep, so Arthur and most of his friends spent as much time on deck as possible. Only Fish seemed to revel in the high seas. He had become a true sailor.

  As Arthur helped Kipper at the helm, they watched Fish standing at the rail on the forecastle being washed with the spray from the waves.

  “He’s changed so much. It is hard to imagine any other boxtroll taking to the seas like he has,” Kipper said admiringly.

  “He looks in his element. Almost as much as any of you pirates.”

  “Yes. The first boxtroll pirate, and a fine one.”

  “I’m not sure I’m cut out to be a pirate.”

  “You’re not doing too badly. There is many a man that would be proud to be able to take seas like this as well as you.” And Kipper winked at him and pointed to a couple of Snatcher’s men who were looking very green.

  Then in a very loud voice Kipper asked Arthur, “Do you fancy something to eat? I could murder a bacon sandwich with lots of grease and butter.”

  “Yes.” Arthur smiled. “Followed up with a plateful of sausages and more bread dipped in dripping.”

  Their guards seemed to have been affected badly by the talk of food and were now “being ill” over the rail.

  “I don’t like the look of the sea, you know. I think it is only just starting to get rough. Fancy a plate of fried eggs and ham?”

  “Not half! And washed down with a pint of raw eggs.”

  Arthur and Kipper smiled but stopped torturing their guards at this point because they were being so ill that it was a distinct possibility that one of them might fall over the side.

  As they reached the Cape, the sea did indeed become rougher, and all but the hardest of sailors and Fish went off their food. Arthur was feeling so sick, he just hung in the dark in his swaying hammock in the bilges, moaned, and thought about home.

  “How I wish I was back in Ratbridge,” he muttered.

  “Me too!” came a weak reply from Willbury, who was also too ill to go on deck.

  “Do you think we will ever get there?”

  “I am not sure I won’t die first,” came another voice. It was a weakly moaning Marjorie.

  “We are not going to die. Just think of the job we have to do and how we have to save your grandfather and the others,” came Willbury’s voice from the dark again.

  Arthur had indeed been trying to think of his grandfather and how he was getting on, but it was hard to concentrate with feeling so ill.

  “I think I’d take the jollop if it made me feel better than this.”

  “I’d take the jollop if it made me feel better than this.”

  There was also a terrible smell from rotting seaweed.

  chapter 40

  THE DOLDRUMS

  For five days the weather was terrible, but on the day of the sixth the sea became calmer and the sickness subsided. The ship had turned north into the Atlantic, and now with every day they sailed, it became warmer again. The ship started making good time, but then they reached the doldrums.

  Just east of Brazil the wind completely died away. The water became glassy, the air very hot, and very still. With the monster and all the seeds they’d packed, there had not been as much space for fuel and little was left.

  “What do we do, captain?” asked Kipper.

  Snatcher didn’t like this heat. It felt damp. There was also a terrible smell from rotting seaweed that floated all around them.

  “Burn everything that we don’t need.”

  “What don’t we need?”

  Snatcher had to think. There was almost nothing they didn’t need onboard if he wanted to have a monster and still be able to go through with his plan for free black jollop for all of England.

  “Burn the furniture!” he ordered.

  This took about a day before it was gone.

  “What next?” asked Kipper.

  “Burn the ship’s biscuits.”

  This only kept them going for three hours.

  “And now, there’s nothing left but your monster and the seeds?”

  Snatcher’s skin was coming up in heat bumps, and he was sweaty and itching very badly.

  “If I burn the seeds, I ain’t going to be able to make more poison, but if I burn the monster, I won’t be able to induce terror. . . . This is a tricky one.” He stuck a hopeful finger in the air to see if he could feel any breeze, but all he could feel was the sun beating down on his exposed spotty red forearm.

  “If we burned a bit of the monster, we might just keep going until the wind picks up,” suggested Gristle.

  The overhot and bothered Snatcher clomped Gristle around the head with the umbrella he was using as a sunshade.

  “Don’t be stupid. Who is going to be afraid of an almost complete monster?”

  “Well, what are we going to do? We could just fade away if we stay here.”

  Snatcher looked from his heat bumps to the sacks of seeds.

  “Maybe if we burned just some of the seeds until the wind picked up . . .” Making up his mind suddenly, he turned to Kipper. “Bur
n five sacks of the seeds. But mind, only five sacks, and we will see where that gets us.”

  Kipper smiled. A few minutes later, the first of the sacks was opened and spadefuls of the seeds were shoveled into the boiler.

  The fire started to roar and a thick black disgustingly smelly smoke poured out of the chimney, and the ship started to make headway again. By the time the fourth sack was burned, a change had come over everyone. Even Snatcher’s heat bumps had miraculously disappeared and he was feeling very perky.

  “Right! Back to Ratbridge . . . and quickly. I am feeling very peckish,” ordered Snatcher.

  Marjorie sneaked up to Willbury and whispered to him. “Do you realize what has happened?”

  “Do you realize what has happened?”

  “No. But I do feel oddly rather good. And there is something else. I keep thinking of my childhood . . . sitting in front of the fire eating something.” Then a look of guilty horror crossed his face. “Slices of . . . no . . . no . . . cheese on toast!”

  “It’s the fumes from the seeds. It’s got into us all and though it might be making us feel better, it will also be poisoning us with the cheese lust.”

  “What do we do?”

  “I think there is only one thing we can do.”

  Marjorie fetched Fish from the bow and took him down to the bilges. Then she sent for Arthur.

  “I want you to bring down each of our crew and friends. Only let a few down at a time, and make sure that it’s not noticed.”

  “Aye, aye!”

  “And before you go, have this.”

  In the darkness of the bilges Arthur saw a large blue glowing bottle appear from under Fish’s box.

  “You got some onboard!”

  A large blue glowing bottle.

  “Yes. Snatcher’s mob have such contempt for boxtrolls, we knew they wouldn’t search him. Now open your mouth.”