“I appreciate the enthusiasm, both of you. I don’t want to hate either one of them. I need to call Rusty and tell him I’m taking some time off though. I just need some distance from them right now. I also need to run up to the gallery today and talk to Alicia, the owner and... ” I was actually thinking out loud at that point.
“That reminds me, Ink. I have a great idea and I wanted to run it by you.” Aimes looked like she was about to burst with excitement.
“Uh, okay, but don’t make it a loud idea for at least another hour, maybe longer.” Someone was jumping up and down in my frontal lobe.
“How’s this?” She asked in a sarcastic stage whisper.
“Maybe somewhere in the middle. Okay, more talking on your part now. Me coffee. You talkie.” They both laughed at me. Bastards.
“Well, so, originally I thought you’d be moving out with a certain, shall we say, fucking A-hole at some point and thought that Gus could move in then if a certain whore-monger-slut-face agreed to it but since that has all changed, here’s my idea: Gus and I move into her room because it has its own bathroom and it’s bigger, you take my room and your room can be a studio for you. That was Gus’s idea. He said your room has the best light.”
Ah, that Gus. It does have the best light. That’s why I chose it. Lisa put more in each month for her own bathroom but I didn’t care either way. This idea was great though.
“Are you sure you guys want a room-mate?”
“That’s a stupid question, Inky. I’m living with you until I have to come up with fifty pieces of gold and two goats for your dowry.”
I answered her with a smile.
***
Four Advil, a shower and a gallon of coffee later and I was on my way to meet with Alicia Emerson. Aimes let me borrow her car which was awesome. Gus drove her everywhere anyway so I knew she wouldn’t miss it.
I called Rusty and explained I needed some time off and if he needed to replace me, I totally understood. I didn’t want to explain all my drama. I felt like everyone was probably all full up on Inky’s drama for the time being. He was very sweet as usual and said my job would be waiting for me.
When I pulled up behind the gallery, I saw my painting was carefully being loaded into a delivery truck. The two men were throwing large quilted moving blankets over it, followed by thick straps that were bolted to the floor. My heart began jumping in my chest and my hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly. I checked myself in the mirror. I looked okay for having a crying-induced hangover. Fighting against my nerves, I went into the back entrance of the gallery. Abe pulled me into the office and quickly closed the door.
“I’ve been dying to talk to you. You look like hell! Rough night?”
You have no idea.
“Something like that.”
“Did you leave with him last night?” He asked with his eyebrows raised.
“Yes.” I blushed slightly.
“And?” he inquired.
“And nothing, Abe. We talked, he drove me home, that’s it.”
“He asked if you had any other work, Inky. They’re expecting you. Go, go, go, hop like the beautiful bunny you are.” He smiled wide.
I reached for the door handle and hesitated, “You sure?”
“Positive. Be strong. Wait! Lipstick. Put on some lipstick. They’re in negotiations over your work. Your work!”
Well, if I wasn’t nervous before, I was now. I pulled the silver tube out of my purse, applied the light color and left my bag in the office. I approached them slowly and watched in complete awe as Alicia and Cole discussed various paintings. Apparently Abe had taken everything from the little studio, whether they were finished or not, and laid them against the walls. Alicia and Cole walked back and forth but he kept stopping at one group in particular.
“This one. This one is different. The color, the technique... wouldn’t think it was the same artist. The others in the group are similar but this one... ”
“I know. When Abe told me our little employee here had some amazing talent, I had to see it for myself. He was right. She has more than exceeded my expectations.” Although a professional, she sounded proud just like Abe.
“She’s a conjurer.” He said. She turned her head to look at him.
“How do you mean? As in one who casts spells?”
“No.” he laughed, “She conjures emotions out of you, whether you want her to or not.”
“Of course.” She smiled, lips closed. “Is there anything else that catches your eye, Mr. Carlyle?”
He winced, “Please call me Cole. I’d like to speak to her first. She may not want to part with them quite yet.”
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to draw breath at this point. The whole thing was so surreal. Every canvas that I’d put a brush to in the last few years was on display. Some I started but hadn’t finished, thinking I’d come back to them when I was feeling more passionate. Some were so depressing, he must’ve wondered if I’d forgotten to have my Prozac refilled. The one of the woods, that was my darkest creation. I’d only touched on the subject previously but this one…I knew he would want to know about it. He’d already tried to get under my skin, so sneaky, so sensual, so seductive, so... ”
“There you are!” Alicia’s voice echoed through the room. “You know, Mr Car... , I mean Cole. I’ve had some wonderful feedback regarding your work, Ms. Redding.”
“Inky, please.” I smiled sheepishly.
“I forgot. Of course, Inky. Well, I’m going to leave you while I discuss business with Abe. Let me know if I can assist you, Cole. I’ll have Abe check on the delivery. They should have it loaded by now.”
Her lemon yellow high heels clicked throughout the gallery as she left us alone. I tried to look casual and glance around at my art scattered throughout the place. This only made me more anxious. I looked up to see he’d been staring at me.
“You look terrified, Anika. Please, don’t be nervous around me.” His smile was warm and made me want to run into his arms and cry. “Have you eaten?”
Could I keep any food down? My nausea had nothing to do with my crying hangover and everything to do with my nerves and the acidic coffee bath that was now my stomach, “Um, I could eat…something.”
“Wait here a second, I’ll let them know I’m stealing you for a while.”
“Okay.” I didn’t move. I wanted to move but my feet wouldn’t work. I smelled his cologne and his own Cole scent when he breezed past me and inhaled deeply. God he smelled good.
“All set?” he said behind my shoulder, making me jump. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No, I’m…I haven’t had a lot of sleep. I…” I didn’t want to tell him everything that happened after he dropped me off. I was already feeling pathetic. “Where would you like to go?”
“Come on, I know a place.” He offered me his hand but I didn’t take it. I walked out in front of him and the same hand met the small of my back, leading me away from the building. “There’s a great little taco bar just across from the beach. Does that sound okay?”
“To be honest, that sounds great. I could really use a beer.”
He chuckled. “Then beer you shall have. Let’s go.”
***
After two tacos and a Corona, I knew he was staring at me again. “What? What is it? Do I have food in my teeth?” I asked.
“Am I making you nervous again?”
“What do you think?” I asked sarcastically, talking my last swig.
“I think you’re not sure about me, yourself, your talent…it’s all happening.”
“Indeed.”
He looked out to the tourists and locals mingling in the beachside community. I loved it here. I wished I could afford to have a home here one day. I don’t think I would ever get tired of the view or take it for granted.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.
“I was thinking about how, if I had a house here, right there on the cliff, I would never take it for granted.”
<
br /> I decided to bravely meet his constant gaze only to find he was stifling laughter. “What’s so funny?” I was kind of offended although I didn’t know why.
“It’s nothing. You’re…you have this way about you. You appreciate beauty. I find it…”
“Choose your next words carefully, Mr Carlyle.” I said it to be playful, remembering his exchange with Alicia only an hour before. He rose abruptly from the picnic style bench and turned to me.
“Please call me Cole. Just Cole. Let’s talk business, shall we? Come on. I want to feel the sand on my feet.”
When we got to the shore, he sat down and took off his shoes, stuffing his socks inside. Normally I wouldn’t think anything of leaving my shoes unattended on the beach but his had special red soles and I knew they were expensive. I put my red Chuck Taylors next to his, talk about contrast. “You sure you want to leave those there?” I asked.
“They’re just shoes.” He said and reached for my hand but I hesitated in taking it. “Please, Anika.”
I didn’t want to deny him or myself for that matter. When I put my hand in his, I felt that connection again. I’d read about this in countless romance novels; that electric spark they somehow both parties felt. I’d always thought it sounded great and incredibly fictional, like Prince Charming bullshit. Well, I was wrong. This was a bolt of lightning that went from my fingertips to, well, everywhere else.
“Do you want to finish the series with the trees and woods before I take them, or are you happy for me to have them as they are now?”
Huh?
“I’m sorry?” I asked just to make sure I heard him right.
“Mrs. Emerson said they were unfinished. If that’s the case and you would prefer to keep them until completion, I’m happy to wait.” He said.
“Eight. You want eight of my paintings?”
“Including the one I already purchased, that’s nine but yes. Are there more in that series?”
“Not yet.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“They’re finished. You can have them.”
“Mrs. Emerson will take care of the details then. Enough business. I find that once again I owe you an apology…for last night.”
“It’s okay, really.” I knew he was going to mention last night and frankly, I didn’t want to talk about it at all. He’d kept my mind off Lisa and Evan and him.
“It’s not okay; I crossed a line with you. I’m sorry.”
I stopped in my tracks and let go of his hand. I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding it the entire time. “What exactly is it that you do, Cole?”
“My family has a business.” He said abruptly.
“That was vague. Sorry, I shouldn’t have been so nosy.” I started to walk away.
“No again, Jesus! I’m sorry.” He threw his hands in the air in exasperation. “It’s my father’s company but I run a branch of it now. I never intended to be a part of it but now I am so I try to make the best of it. The painting of the sea is for me but the others are a company investment.” He smiled at me, almost like he was begging for me to give him a chance.
“Good answer.”
“We should get back. Do you want to have dinner with me tonight? I know you’re involved and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just want to enjoy your company if you’ll let me. I promise to be a perfect gentleman.”
Damn.
“I can’t.” It looked like I knocked the wind out of him. I wasn’t ready to divulge everything. I didn’t want to get emotional with him and I knew it wouldn’t take much for the floodgates to open.
“I understand. I shouldn’t have asked. You made yourself clear last night. We better get back.” He stood up. “I’m sure you have other things you need to do today. I’m sorry I’ve monopolized your afternoon with…business. Thank you for having lunch with me.” He was being so formal. Picking up his shoes, he didn’t even check to see if I was still beside him. He was all business now.
“Wait, please stop walking so fast. My fucking head is killing me.” He turned around and took in my face.
“Oh.” He said softly.
“What do you mean, ‘oh’?” I asked, trying to catch my breath.
“Something’s wrong. I didn’t see it before. It’s not just your head, what happened?”
“Please, Cole. I’ve had a, God, I don’t even know how to describe it. How about a ‘tumultuous’ twenty-four hours. I just need a minute to take a breath. It’s nothing personal. I would love to have dinner with you, but not now. Can you please just give me some time to get my head around... my life? Please?”
He dropped his shoes in the sand and cupped my face just as he had not twenty-four hours before. If I met his eyes, I’d have to kiss him. Or cry. Or both. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. I was too vulnerable. “Look at me, Anika.”
“No” I said and shook my head slowly, looking at the sand beneath my feet..
“Please look at me.” He asked softly.
“No,” I answered in almost a whisper.
“Please.” His thumbs brushed my cheeks. I looked up and saw his pleading. He wanted something from me. I wanted to give him whatever that was but not now, not like this. It was too soon, too raw.
“You’re right. There is something but I need you... ” I felt the tears escape and he brushed them away.
“You need me?” He asked hopefully.
“No, that’s not what I meant.” I was trying so hard not to whimper, not to show this weakness. At my rejection, his shoulders began to slump. “I can’t, please. It’s too much, it’s too intense. I just can’t, not now.”
“So, I can…hope?” He asked, holding my gaze.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes again, almost in silent prayer.
“Yes.” I couldn’t deny that I wanted to know more about Cole Carlyle. I wanted to hear what he thought about everything. I wanted to feel his skin against mine. I wanted to fix him, feel his pain, know how he copes. He seemed to already know me better than I knew myself and certainly better than Evan. “Whatever this is, whatever there could potentially be between us, it can’t be like this. I don’t want it to be tainted.” He thought I was still in a relationship of course, but the meaning was the same. I didn’t want Cole to be a rebound.
He pulled me into a hug and I didn’t hesitate holding him just as tight, holding on for dear life but the emotion started to flood me again. I had usually practiced at keeping my emotions at bay but I couldn’t with him. He was making me open myself to possibilities I never indulged or wondered about. I had no doubt he could handle me and my past. I just wasn’t sure I could let my guard down. Not now, not after the hurt I’d just endured.
I pulled away from him and walked back to the gallery. I knew he was right behind me but I never acknowledged him. When we arrived at the back door, I spoke to Alicia.
“Hi, Alicia. Listen, whatever Mr. Carlyle wants, that’s fine. I trust you to negotiate what you think is fair for me and for the gallery.” I grabbed my purse from the desk in Abe’s office.
“I’m sorry to do this but I’m really not feeling well. Do you think we could talk another day?” I made sure to look as anxious and miserable as possible, so I didn’t have to fake it.
“Of course, Inky. That’s fine. You and I can speak another day.” She was as affable as ever but I’m sure she assumed there had been some kind of exchange between Cole and myself.
“Thank you. Abe, can you walk me out?”
I turned away, not acknowledging Cole. His hands were in his pockets, awkwardly standing with Alicia. I should have been embarrassed by my behavior but I couldn’t be bothered to have any more emotions in one day.
Safely out of earshot, Abe moved us toward a tree to block us from prying eyes, “Inky, darling, what is going on with you? You look worse now than when you arrived. Did he upset you, Mr. tall, dark and handsome?”
I took a few deep breaths and told him everything. “Last night, last night was incredible, A
be. To see people actually admiring my work, to have Alicia negotiating commissions for me, this is my dream come true. Thank you. I know it wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for you. But part of that dream was to share it with Evan, you know?”
“What did that smarmy little weasel do?” He looked pissed. I trusted Abe; he was one of my confidants. I’d even told him about Joe and I knew I could tell him anything.
“You’re not gonna like it, Abe. I don’t want to go into it but basically, he cheated on me, I caught him last night when I got home and we broke up.”
He looked past me. I could see his thoughts gathering, he was carefully planning what he was going to say, or so I thought.
“Good.”
Huh? “Good?”
“Yes. Inky, that guy has been stringing you along for what, three, four years?”
“Yes, but…”
“And every time you were happy, he would swoop in and screw with your heart and convince you there might be a chance for the two of you.”
“That’s not exactly how it…”
“Yes, Inky. That is how it happened. You would never have cheated on Gerry. I don’t doubt the two you would have split anyway, but not like that. Evan cheapened you. He influenced you and I know you’re not happy about that. He manipulated you into loving him, always keeping you hoping with his little liaisons. Well, good riddance.”
“You could have mentioned this before, you know.” I said smiling up at his tall, lithe frame.
“No, I probably couldn’t have. Nothing anyone said would’ve changed your mind. You know what pisses me off about you?” I stiffened, bracing myself for the words to come.
“Uh, what?”
“You don’t know your worth. You’ve been made to feel like you’re not good enough. Years of that kind of abuse is bound to really fuck with you. But at some point, I hope you meet someone who sees you for the wonderful girl you are and cherishes you. Treats you like a Princess.”
“That’s just it, Abe. I thought that person was Evan. I still love him. I don’t love what he did to me but I can’t just turn that off. I thought he was my future... ” I couldn’t speak. The words were there, the words that Cole had said to me less than twenty-four hours before.
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