I thought it was amazing he hadn’t bought a gold-plated yacht and sailed around the world until he ran out of food, or got tired of the naked women. I was about to commend him, but Cole was staring out the window, a million miles away. Strange to think that only moments before we were laughing. I’d been wondering what would trigger his dark side and I’d just come face to face with Darth Vader.
“We’re here.” I urged gently, “come on.” He opened the front door but I led the way and took him out to the deck. “I’ll get us a couple of beers. You sit tight, cowboy.” I knew what I needed to ask. We’d kind of made a pact. I had no intention of breaking his heart and I was fairly confident he wouldn’t break mine either. I needed to know how to help him when he got dark. I wanted to help him move through this shadow.
“Here ya go.” I said, handing him a beer. “Cheers.” We clinked our bottles together but still he was silent. He leaned back onto the chaise that paralleled my own and took a long pull. “Cole?”
“Hmm?”
“Give me your hand.” I put my beer and my feet down to the side and faced him, taking his hand and pushing the sleeve up to expose his wrist. I gently kissed him there, brushing my lips across his pain. “He’s your trigger?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Do you get anxiety attacks like I do?”
“Not anymore. I used to. Now I get this.”
“Look at me, Cole.” He turned his head toward me and, even though we were only lit by the moon, I could see the tears on his face.
“I’m so sorry, Anika. I’m usually better at hiding it.”
“Well, there’s your mistake right there. You shouldn’t have to hide anything from someone who says they care about you. Life is messy, Cole. Remember? You show me your fucked-up side and I’ll show you mine?” I laughed lightly.
“This was unexpected. I didn’t want to be like this with you. I want to help you. You shouldn’t be in this position.”
“Well, for the first time ever, I’m not afraid of what I’m gonna have to expose of myself in a relationship. Maybe this is what I needed in order to feel safe. Maybe, you’re what I needed.” As soon as I said the words, I knew I meant every single one of them. I was falling in love with someone I barely knew and I couldn’t wait.
“Are you sure? Because I’ve been quite sure about you for some time now.” He put his feet down to the sides and faced me. “Anything I’ve said to you in the short time we’ve known each other…I’ve meant every single word.”
“Well, I have a little surprise for you then. I keep my word too.” I stood up before him, my stomach facing his head. “Give me your hand.” I guided him under my dress, between my legs until his fingers brushed my pubic hair.”
“You were like this all night?” He brightened.
“All night.”
“You mean I could’ve had this in the car?”
“Well, maybe not on the way there with your mother sitting right across from us but on the way back, sure.”
He slid a finger inside me. “You are so wet.”
“For some reason, sparring with Satan got me all fired up.”
“I want to make you scream, Anika.” He said, adding another finger.
“Ah…I know you will, but I have something for you first. We won’t be interrupted, right?”
“No” he said, removing his hand at my urging. I moved the chaise lounges so they were facing each other.
“Sit back.” I ordered.
“Getting bossy again, are we?” I watched in awe as his brows rose and his small smile grew wide.
“Yes. Don’t take your eyes off me.” I leaned down to kiss him, licking his lips as I pulled away. “Only think about me, and your hands on me.” I could feel his dark mood passing.
“Yes Ma’am.”
I stood up and faced him, pulling the hidden zipper on the side and moving the one sleeve over my shoulder. I held the shimmering dress away from me and moved it down my body to reveal I was wearing nothing underneath. Luckily the dress had plenty of support. I would save the beautiful lingerie Anthony brought for another day. I heard Cole draw a quick breath through his teeth as I kicked the garment to the side, keeping the heels on. As demurely as I could, I leaned back onto the chaise and faced him with my legs together and let my hands begin exploring my body. I’d always had exhibitionist tendencies (to be clear though, a stranger is one thing but someone I knew as an onlooker would be quite another) and this was something Evan would never have the patience to let me do. He would’ve rushed me and pounced on me. Gerry would’ve come in his pants and anyone else I’d been with wouldn’t have been worthy. This was intimate and I knew Cole would appreciate me sharing it with him.
I began at the sides of my face, hands sprawled, allowing my pinkies to tug at my bottom lip. I sucked on one and let the other hand fall between my breasts and travel up my side to brush lightly across each nipple as I went. Taking my wet pinkie, I swirled it around my nipple until I felt the already taut flesh tighten even more at the extra sensation. I began to squeeze and pinch both, arching my neck. My eyes closed, letting myself be free in the moment, I moved both hands to my thighs and opened my legs for my audience of one. I pulled my lower lips apart, exposing my sex to him completely. Holding myself open with my fingers in a V, I slid my other hand against the wetness and began to rub myself, moaning as I massaged the sensitive bud. It wasn’t staged or premeditated in any way, I just went with it. All I could think about and focus on was Cole inside me, moving against me. In the height of my abandon I opened my eyes, hoping beyond all hope that he would be pleased. His pants were open and he was stroking himself while he watched me. “Do you want me to finish, or would you like the honor?” I asked.
“I would be honored to watch you.” His low voice cracked as he spoke.
“Talk to me, Cole. Tell me how you want me to do it.”
“Dip your middle finger inside…”
I did as he instructed.
“That’s it. Now move it to your clit again and tell me how it feels.”
“It feels…great.” I was finding it difficult to concentrate and answer at the same time.
“More, Anika. Tell me more.” He demanded.
“It feels like I don’t have enough hands. Like my body is missing something vital. It misses you. It wants you to see how much it needs you. When I touch myself, I wish it was your touch.”
“Put two fingers inside.”
“Please…” I begged. The way he spoke and the words he used, I wanted him more than ever.
I felt him move to my feet, straddling the end of the chaise. He was stroking his cock harder and hissing between his teeth. “Come for me. Come for me so I can put my cock in you and fuck you hard and finally make you scream, Anika. Come for me.”
His words were like fire igniting my flesh. I came at his urging and as soon as the first shudders of my orgasm began, he thrust himself into me, hard and deep.
“Ah, Cole, yes…please, please.” I felt the second wave begin as he rammed against me, his sweat dripping onto my face as we came together. He cried out my name, almost a roar and I’d never heard anything more erotic and sexy in my life. I wasn’t sure if I did indeed scream but it was beyond amazing.
He collapsed against me, panting and breathless. “God, what you to do me. How did you know I’d like that?”
“Lucky guess?” I replied trying to catch my breath. We lay like that, together until our breathing slowed.
“Come upstairs.” He said. “I have another surprise for you.” He gently eased himself out of me and rose from the chaise, picking up the dress as he went.
“You really need to slow down with the surprises, Cole. I’ll get spoiled and then I’ll either expect them or not appreciate them when they do happen.” I couldn’t imagine ever getting used to anything he did. He stopped abruptly and pulled into his arms.
“No, Anika. I know you’ll never expect it.” He slipped out of his jacket and pulled it around me. “
You’ll always appreciate it because you’re different. Come on. You’ll like it, I hope.” I followed him through the house and up the stairs to the bedroom. “On the counter in the bathroom, you’ll find a box. I would like you to put the contents of the box on and come upstairs when you’re ready.”
“You mean to the little room with the easel?”
“The very one.” He smiled. “Take your time.” I started into the bathroom and closed the door as he loosened his tie and threw it onto the bed.
On the counter was a box and an envelope. I opened it to find a note from Anthony.
Dear Anika,
I hope the evening went well. It was nice to meet a real person. I bet Mrs. C. loved you. I thought you should know, I didn’t choose these. Cole asked me to pick these up this morning, before the event was confirmed. He has good taste and I’m sure you’ll be beautiful in them.
See you soon,
Anthony
With some trepidation, I opened the box and removed something flimsy, wrapped expertly in tissue paper. I opened one to find a gorgeous robe in a gunmetal grey with turquoise blue velvet piping and details. The next item was a matching gown. Nightgown simply didn’t do it justice. There was so much detail and beauty in this garment, it seemed a pity is was not only meant for sleep but only a couple of people would ever see it. With thin straps and an almost floor length, it was the companion to the matching robe. The breasts were completely visible through a sheer cup of grey fabric which was thin, soft and delicate against my skin. It was heavenly and I felt beautiful in it. I was happy that I had something this elegant to wear for Cole and that he was so thoughtful. Although I suspected it was as much for him as it was for me.
I let my hair down, which made me look like Greta Garbo, and brushed my teeth. Before I left the bathroom, I took each earring and laid them on the counter. Enjoying the cool wood beneath my feet, I climbed the stairs to see a mattress had been laid in the middle of the floor and two large pillar candles were lit, protected from the ocean breeze by tall hurricane vases. The bed was dressed in sandy beige tones and looked very inviting. But the most inviting part was Cole who sat on the deck in long silk pajama pants which matched my outfit exactly. That must have been my part of the gift.
He turned around and looked at me in that way. The way that made me feel like I was the only woman on the entire planet. “Come sit with me.”
I sat beside him on the deck and leaned into his side. “This is beautiful, Cole.”
“Which part?”
“All of it.” I smiled. “You should know, I am a little freaked out though.”
It started when I walked out of the bathroom. I looked around his room, at the clothes I’d worn that night, at the multi-million dollar home. He was wonderful. I didn’t care that he had baggage because I had baggage too. What made my stomach start doing its fight or flight dance was the fact it was all too good. I’d been here before.
“Talk to me.” He took me in his arms and held me, “Just talk. How’d it start?”
“I was walking up here. Everything feels right, it feels perfect. This is usually the time when something goes wrong for me, when everything feels so right.”
“Is it possible that you’re finally getting a well-deserved break?”
“Aimes would say the same thing.”
“I’m sorry my father was rude to you. I didn’t expect anything different but I should’ve prepared you for that possibility.”
I laced my fingers through his and moved closer to him. “You and me, huh?”
“You and me. Are you okay with that? I know it’s fast.” He sounded wistful again.
“Maybe I shouldn’t over-think it. About all the gifts though, Cole. It kinda makes me feel like you’re trying to…I don’t know; make me into a kept woman or something.”
“That sounds bad. I’m not trying to buy your affection, if that’s what you think or bribe you to stay with me by giving you these things.”
“No, that’s not what I think at all. But it’s over the top a little bit. A bouquet of flowers is more my speed. If you think about how much you’ve already spent on me, starting with the paintings…it’s not exactly a couple of bucks.”
He slowly and tenderly cupped my face in his hands. “Anika” he said in a voice that was melodic and low, “If I wanted to, I could have a house like Olaf’s. I could take you to Paris on a private jet. I could lavish you with diamonds or buy you a loft in Manhattan. I’ve never spent my dad’s money before, well, he paid for college. I bought this house with my money, money I earned. I bought your painting, paintings with money I earned. All of it, I earned. The best part of all is you don’t care or expect it. Emma, or any woman I’ve ever dated, they expected it. You see me, not the status or wealth. It feels good to give you beautiful things.”
“The paintings, Cole. I don’t even know what you spent on the set of eight.”
“The price doesn’t matter. Do you know why I bought those?” He held my eyes, never letting me retreat from his intense gaze.
“Why did you buy them?” I asked.
He moved his fingers under my chin, outlining my jaw. “They’re your leaves. You don’t have to explain anything more to me for me to understand that those paintings correlate with the tattoo on your back. They must be significant painful events for you. I wanted The Seaside because it’s our story. That’s our future. But the others; that’s your past and I want to help you move on from that. I’ll keep them where they can’t hurt you again. You have your ink as a reminder of what you went through but it’s part of your healing process. I want to be part of the process. If you paint any more, I’ll buy those too. I love you, Anika.”
Whoa.
“How?”
“Do you want me to count the ways?” He smirked.
“No, I mean how do you know it’s love?”
“I know because I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I can’t get you out of my head and I can’t stand the thought of never seeing you again. Oh, and my mom likes you and that right there tells me you’re a keeper as she put it.”
“Charming.” I said sarcastically.
“Don’t sell yourself short, please. I know you don’t feel the same way about me, not yet anyway, but I’ll give you all the time you need. You’re worth it. We’re worth it.”
I closed my eyes then, resting my face on his palm while he pulled me to his chest. It was at that exact moment it hit me.
I was in love with Cole Carlyle.
Chapter 26
We fell asleep in each other’s arms. We didn’t make love but love certainly filled the little room. I tried not to let my mind drift to the how and why, what mattered was here and now. The morning light invaded but I had no idea what time it was. I propped myself onto my arm to watch his bare chest rise and fall with each deep breath. His dark hair, almost too long in the front, was falling over one eye. I hesitated at first but then reached over and brushed my fingertips over his chest. This was one of those moments I wanted so desperately to remember every last detail.
“Hey.” His voice was groggy and sexy.
I flinched, “Oh, I’m sorry I woke you. It’s kind of like waking up next to Chris Isaak. You really don’t want to waste a single minute of the experience.”
“Do I look like him?” He enquired.
“You have the same hair. You surf and you have a kickin’ bod.’” I added. I could have thought of more similarities but thought I better stop there.
“So, that’s a good thing.” He said on a sleepy exhale.
“Oh, a whole lotta good.” I was starting to embarrass myself so I changed the subject. “Do you have any idea when your mom’ll be here?”
“Hang on.” He leaned over and picked his phone up off the floor. “It’s only nine thirty. I think about eleven. I may have a swim. Do you want to join me?”
“I think I want to be presentable if I’m going to brunch with your mom. She may be cool, but I don’t need to look like a vagrant when
she sees me in the light of day.”
“She would never think that. What are you gonna wear?”
“I have no idea!” What the hell was I going to wear?
“Wear your jeans, thongs and a t-shirt.”
“That seems a little underdressed.”
“Well, I don’t care what you wear but I want you to be comfortable. So if you happen to notice the other bag in the bedroom, there are a few extra things I thought you might want. Sorry…don’t be mad. That’s it, I swear.”
“You see? Now how can I be mad?”
“Take your time in the shower. I’ll join you in a minute.”
I rose from the bed and began to stand but he pulled me back down into his arms. “Anika?” He smoothed his hands down the silky fabric of the gown, skimming across my breasts as he went. “Can you stay?”
“Well, I don’t really need to have a shower, I suppose. You’re giving me plenty of incentive to stay right where I am.”
“I meant, can you stay tonight? Do you need to be anywhere tomorrow?”
Whoa.
“Well, I would normally paint during the weekdays. Abe and Alicia feel my time would be better spent painting at the moment. I told him I needed the connection to the outside world, especially because I’m not working at Rusty’s on the weekends but it’s up to me. I do want to take my new painting to him. I was gonna borrow Gus’s truck and take it down. I haven’t even asked him if I can do that yet though.”
“Well, I’ll let you sort that out. I’m happy to arrange it all for you, of course, but I don’t want you to get too overwhelmed with my enthusiasm. I do want you to know, I would happily have you stay here, with me. I would... ”
Inky Page 21