Cowboy Honor--Includes a bonus novella

by Carolyn Brown

  “How’s that?”

  “Think about it. Put your mom in your shoes. Would she be wastin’ time thinkin’ about whether she’d break a man’s heart?” Franny scolded. “A relationship and a marriage is a partnership. You be honest with each other from the get-go, and ignore all those negative thoughts that the old devil sends to your head.”

  “Can’t you just hear my mother if I told her that I’d eloped with a ranch foreman and we were going to live out on the boondocks in Texas? She’d have a heart attack. She went through the roof when I quit my teaching job and started quilting.”

  “And what did you do?”

  “I told her that she’d lived her life the way she wanted and I would do the same,” Claire answered.

  “Then hold on to that, make your own decisions, and then stand by them,” Franny said.

  “Even when your parents were angry with you, did you really never have regrets?” Claire asked.

  Franny shook her head. “Not one time. I’d made my bed and I was goin’ to enjoy layin’ in it.”

  “Is that brownies? I smell chocolate!” Zaylie yelled from the bedroom door. She skipped into the room and picked up a brownie. “Guess what, Aunt Claire? Teresa wants a kitten for Christmas too.”

  “Is that right?” Claire acted surprised.

  “Yep, and I told her that next time we got to do FaceTime I’d show her the three at our bunkhouse.” Zaylie picked up a second brownie and ran back to her room.

  “She’s happier than I’ve ever seen her,” Franny said. “I’m glad that y’all got stuck in Texas. It’s been good for both of you.”

  Claire nodded, but wondered how could such turmoil in her life right then be good for her?

  Because it dragged you out of that comfortable rut you’ve been in since Zaylie was born and has put some excitement in your life. The voice in her head was definitely her grandmother’s.

  But I liked my life. I knew exactly what was going on. Now I never know what emotion is going to float to the top at any minute, Claire argued.

  She listened intently but her grandmother didn’t have anything else to say.

  Claire turned on the radio on the way back to the ranch that afternoon. One minute Zaylie was singing along with all the classic country songs. The next she’d leaned over against the door and was “resting her eyes.” It seemed that the lyrics to every song that played spoke right to Claire, but when Chris Young began to sing “Chiseled in Stone,” tears rolled down her cheeks.

  It was from a man’s point of view, but she could feel every sad emotion that he sang about. An old man was telling a younger one the story in song, saying that a person didn’t know anything about how long the nights were or lonely life was until it was chiseled in stone. She thought about Franny losing her Joe and how sad her eyes had been when she talked about him. Then the lyrics talked about how the younger man should drop down on his knees and thank his lucky stars that he had someone to go home to.

  Claire got the message.

  The very next song was the one they’d played at Nanny’s funeral, but that day as she drove through Wichita Falls and headed east toward the ranch, it had a whole new meaning. She didn’t want to pray her final prayer with regrets that she didn’t give whatever it was between her and Levi a chance. Maybe it would work. Maybe not. But she’d never know if she walked away without trying.

  As if the songs were lined up just for her, the next one talked about putting her worries in his pocket and resting her head upon his shoulder. Levi would let her do just that, and she could rest her love on him.

  “Cowboy honor,” she muttered.

  A vision of him naming off all the things in the cowboy’s code of honor flashed through her mind. “Live each day with courage,” she whispered. “Well, Levi Jackson, it’s going to take all the courage and trust in me, but I’m willing to give us a try. Nanny used to say that if you try and fall on your butt, it’s okay, but if you fail to try, then you are a loser.”

  Zaylie awoke somewhere between Nocona and the ranch, and the first words from her mouth were, “Are we home yet?”

  “Not quite. Maybe another ten or fifteen minutes,” Claire answered.

  “How many songs is that?” Zaylie asked.

  “Three or four.”

  “Okay.” She started singing along with Randy Travis as he sang, “He Walked on Water.” She’d come in behind the words, but somewhere in the middle of the song she stopped and asked, “Is he singin’ about Levi, Aunt Claire?”

  “No, he’s talkin’ about his grandpa,” Claire answered around the lump forming in her throat. “What makes you think of Levi?”

  “Levi’s got a cowboy hat, and I bet he could walk on water,” Zaylie answered.

  “Only Jesus could do that,” Claire told her.

  “Well, if we was drownin’ he’d walk on water and take us home,” Zaylie said with conviction, and then sang with George Jones as he started, “A Picture of Me Without You.”

  Home.

  Zaylie had used that word again. Claire had asked Franny if it made her sad to leave the ranch where she and Joe had lived their whole married life. She’d told her that home wasn’t a place so much as it was a feeling of belonging.

  Claire had barely gotten parked when she noticed Justin coming around the bunkhouse. In a few long strides he was at the truck, opening the doors for her and Zaylie.

  When Zaylie was unbuckled and on the ground, she ran into the house. “I’m glad I’m home. I got to go see my little baby kitties.”

  He turned around to face Claire. “Want some help unloading all this?”

  “Yes, thanks,” she answered. “Where’s Levi?”

  “He’s over at Mavis and Skip’s.”

  She had a lot to say to Levi, but she sure didn’t want to do it by phone. Hopefully, he’d be home before long.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Zaylie kept running to the living room window to see if Retta and Cade were home yet, then coming back to the kitchen or the guest room where Claire was sewing to ask how long it would be before they got home.

  “Six o’clock,” Claire told her for the hundredth time. “Their plane landed about four and it’ll be near six when they get home.”

  “Is that forever from now?”

  “It’s two more hours. That’s one movie and four songs.” Claire finished machine quilting Retta’s Christmas throw on her sewing machine. Small things she could manage, but even that would be easier with the big commercial-size quilter.

  Zaylie sucked in a lung full of air and let it out with a long whoosh. “Okay.” She stretched the one short word out into three syllables and sighed again. “I guess I’ll watch Cinderella.”

  “Want me to put it in the DVD player for you?” Claire asked.

  “I can do it myself.” She left the room with her chin dragging on her chest and lower lip poked out in a pout.

  Claire folded the quilt and put it into the box, taped it shut, and carried it out to the truck.

  She was about to go back into the house when she heard a truck coming down the lane. She whipped around, hoping that maybe Retta and Cade had caught an earlier flight home, but it was Levi. Her first thought was to ignore him, like he’d done her all day. Oh, he’d said good morning and entered into the conversation about Retta and Cade’s return during the noon meal. But there’d been no touching of any kind, not even an accidental brush of their hands as food was passed.

  He rolled down the window and yelled, “Hey, you and Zaylie want to go out to the barn and see Little Bit and Nomie? I bet she’s getting stir crazy.”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him no, but she said, “Yes, give us two minutes to get our jackets, and we’ll be right out.”

  She had some things to say, and the corral was a good place to get it out in the open. Zaylie would be romping around with the little donkey and calf, so she wouldn’t be listening to a word they said.

  Zaylie was sitting on the sofa in a pout and didn’t even lo
ok up at Claire.

  “Levi wants to know if we’d like to go see Little Bit and Nomie, but if you’re busy…” Claire let the sentence hang.

  “No! I want to go.” Her expression changed instantly.

  “You need to put on your shoes and your jacket.” Claire held out both to her.

  Zaylie’s little hands were a blur as she tied her shoes. “I’ll tell Nomie all about Retta so she won’t be afraid of her.” She shoved her arms into her jacket and ran toward the door. “Levi, guess what? Nomie is goin’ to love Retta.”

  Levi picked Zaylie up first, then put her into the backseat beside Beau and then opened the passenger door for Claire. “I figured she might be getting a little antsy. To tell the truth, Justin and I are ready for them to be home too.”

  For the first time, he didn’t pick Claire up and set her in the seat, but waited for her to hoist herself into the truck. Tears stung her eyes as she fastened the seat belt, but she blinked them back.

  When they reached the corral, Zaylie crawled through the two lower rails and then went back and forth from Nomie to Little Bit, hugging them and talking to them like they were human. Beau bounded out of the barn and sat down outside the corral as if he were guarding the little girl.

  A cold north wind whipped Zaylie’s wispy blond hair back and forth, but she just pushed it out of her face and kept telling the animals all about her plans when Retta got home.

  “She sure does love the ranch life.” Levi propped his elbows on the top rail.

  Claire grabbed his shoulder and tugged at it to make him face her.

  “What in the hell is going on, Levi?” she blurted out.

  He turned to face her. “About Zaylie, Beau, or what?”

  “About us?” She gazed into his eyes.

  “Is there an us?” he asked.

  “You tell me,” she answered.

  “Evidently, you don’t like to be smothered, and you want to do things on your own. I have to fight you to give you any help at all. So this is me, backing off and giving you space,” he said.

  She blinked and let go of his shoulder. “I’ve had to take care of everything for so long that it’s really hard for me to let go of the reins.”

  “I realize that, but if there’s going to be an us, if we’re going to go past a few kisses and into the dating phase, we’re both going to have to compromise. I’m like a teenager that has a girlfriend and wants to spend every minute possible with her. You’re like…” He inhaled deeply.

  “I’m like trying to pet a porcupine?” she suggested.

  “Something like that, or maybe like a porcupine that’s stuck between a rock and a hard place and won’t let me do a damn thing to help it get free,” he said.

  “So do you want to go past those hot kisses we’ve shared? Do you want us to be dating? If so, I’ll try to shed a few prickly quills,” she said.

  “I’ll try not to smother you.” He nodded. “And yes, Claire, I want to date you. I want people to know that you’re with me.”

  It was her turn to make a move or say something. Words didn’t seem adequate for the way she felt. So she pushed herself between him and the fence, rested her palms on his chest, and pushed up to her tiptoes. Their lips met in a fiery kiss that told Claire that actions definitely spoke louder than words.

  “Why are you kissin’ Levi?” Zaylie reached through the railings and tugged on Claire’s coattail.

  Before Claire could answer, Levi’s phone rang. He kissed her on the tip of the nose and took a couple of steps to the side.

  “I kissed Levi because I wanted to,” Claire said.

  “Can I kiss a boy when I want to?” Zaylie asked.

  “When you are twenty-eight,” Claire told her.

  “Thank God, I’m twenty-eight.” Levi chuckled as he answered the phone.

  “Is Retta home yet?” Mavis asked. “We thought we’d give them a few minutes to get settled before we come out to the ranch.”

  “Nope, not for another hour or so.”

  “Are icicles still hangin’ off you and Claire?”

  “No, we’ve cleared the air,” he answered.

  “Well, praise the Lord. I didn’t like the way things felt today.”

  “And you didn’t talk to her about it?” Levi asked.

  “God knows I wanted to, and it was almighty tough not to meddle. But something in my heart told me to let y’all work it out on your own. I can step in and help out when it comes to getting y’all some time together, but it’s up to you what you do with it,” Mavis answered. “So what’s the verdict?”

  “Isn’t that meddling?” Levi teased.

  “No, it’s my reward for not meddling,” she told him.

  “Well, I think we’re dating, but that sounds kind of juvenile, doesn’t it?” he said.

  “Not to me, it don’t. But if you’re dating, you should be talkin’ to her, not me.”

  “I agree, but I’m also trying to not be a smothering boyfriend.”

  “That sounds mighty smart of you. Good luck, Levi.”

  “Bye now. See you later.” He hit the end button and noticed Justin coming right toward him.

  “Heard from Cade?” Justin asked.

  “Nope. You?”

  “Not yet. But when I talked to Cade this mornin’ he said that Retta was homesick. Who’d a thought that the woman he hired last summer who couldn’t wait to get to the big city would learn to love this place the way she does.”

  “Claire and I are dating,” Levi blurted out.

  “That don’t surprise me. Are you going to give her your class ring and go steady too?” Justin teased.

  Levi slapped at Justin’s arm.

  “Been to bed with her?” Justin asked.

  “No, and if I had I wouldn’t be tellin’ it around. She’s a class act and deserves better,” Levi said.

  “I’m happy for you. Really, I am. Who knows, maybe someday another woman will get dropped on the ranch, and I’ll find my soul mate,” Justin said.

  Soul mate? The words settled on Levi’s heart and didn’t sting a bit.

  “Hey, now, dating doesn’t mean the M word,” Levi said.

  Zaylie stuck her head out between two rails and yelled, “Hey, Justin, come see Nomie.”

  “I’m on my way.” Justin started in that direction.

  Claire turned away from the corral and drew her jacket across her chest. The wind whipped her ponytail around her face, but she kept walking toward him. As she got nearer and nearer, Levi didn’t see her hair as much as the smile directed at him.

  “So what did Mavis have to say when you told her about us?” Claire looped her arm into his.

  “She’s happy, but I’m wondering if your brother will try to talk you out of dating me.” He laid a hand over hers.

  “Honey, my brother has never run my life, and he damn sure ain’t startin’ now. I love him, and he’s basically all the family I have, but I call the shots when it comes to my life.” She poked him in the chest with a forefinger. “Besides, why would he be against someone who makes me happy?”

  “Come on, Claire. I’ve got a good job and I’m not broke, but I sure don’t bring home the kind of money you do,” he said.

  “Nanny always said that if you love what you do, whether you are the president of the United States of America or if you are a ditch digger for the county, then you are a success. Money doesn’t make someone a success. Happiness does,” she told him.

  “Then by that definition, I’m a big success.” He looked up in time for a huge raindrop to hit him right in the eye. He wiped it out and gathered Claire up in his arms, jogged to the other side of the truck, and settled her into the passenger’s seat. “And on that note, I expect I’d better grab Zaylie and get her into the truck before she gets wet.”

  Justin passed him midway. “I’ll be in the house right behind you. Snow and now a thunderstorm. Never a dull moment in Texas.”

  “You got that right.” Levi opened the gate and picked up Zaylie.
/>   They made it inside the truck before the sky opened up, and the wind blew great sheets of cold rain against the vehicle’s windshield.

  “I hope Cade and Retta aren’t havin’ to drive out of Dallas in this,” Claire said.

  “Can we call them?” Zaylie asked.

  “Might not be a good idea if they’re fighting their way through afternoon traffic in the rain,” Claire answered. “Let’s just go to the house and get our little welcome home finger foods on the table, and you can watch for them out the window. Hopefully, this is just a little blow-over storm and it’ll pass in a few minutes.”

  There was a difference in a shower and a winter storm. This had the feel of the latter—a cold rain that could turn to sleet any second. Levi parked as close to the porch as he possibly could and turned toward Claire. “I’m going to take Zaylie inside, and then I’ll come back for you.”

  She nodded, but as soon as he had Zaylie in his arms, she made a beeline for the house right behind him. Icy rain ran down his neck, and he shivered all the way to his toenails when he set the child down in the foyer.

  “See there.” He turned to face her. “You couldn’t even wait and let me come back for you.”

  With dripping hair, she bowed up to him. “I was trying to do something nice for you so that you didn’t have to go back out in that. We were both going to get wet either way. I wouldn’t fuss if you’d bring me a towel though.”

  “I guess that’s a step in the right direction.” He managed a smile as he picked up two towels from the laundry basket.

  “Retta!” Zaylie squealed, and pointed.

  “Surprise! We got home about half an hour ago,” Retta said.

  “Well, praise the Lord!” Justin came in the back door and removed his cowboy hat. “You didn’t have to drive in this rain, did you?”

  Cade stepped out of the kitchen carrying two bottles of root beer. “Amen, brother. It’s good to be home, and, no, we beat the rain home by a few minutes.”

  “Root beer?” Levi asked. “Did you get the wrong thing from the fridge?”

  “Nope, if Retta can’t drink, then I’m not going to either,” Cade answered.