A Man Worth Marrying

by Phyllis Halldorson

  The dream had neither a beginning nor an end, but at some point during the night, he thought Eve had come to him and let him hold her while they slept. There had been no passion, but the all-consuming love he'd felt when they'd kissed went way beyond passion. It warmed his soul.

  It's true that when he awoke the next morning he'd found that he'd slept in his chair all night, but that wasn't unusual. The chair was comfortable, and he sometimes dozed in it if he didn't go to bed early. Besides, Eve hadn't mentioned anything about nocturnal wanderings, and he wasn't going to embarrass her by telling her his fantasy.

  He had another problem though—Bambi. Ever since Gray had taken Tinker to his house from the hospital and he had filed suit for full-time custody of their child, Bambi had been drowning him in letters, phone calls, legal actions, and everything else she could think of.

  Gray managed to counter most of it, but it took up valuable time that he didn't have to spare.

  She'd been livid when she found out that Eve was baby-sitting Tinker, and made all kinds of accusations. But since she couldn't prove that there was anything going on between them—for the simple reason that there wasn't anything—Gray threatened counter legal action, and Bambi backed down on that subject.

  Gray hadn't told Eve about it because he knew it would upset her, and he was pretty sure that he could control Bambi.

  It was no wonder that he had an aversion to marriage.

  Gray took Tinker to church on Sunday morning, and in the Sunday School Department, they ran into Keith and Virginia Spenser and their daughter, Linda, who was Tinker's age. The Spensers lived just a few blocks from Gray, their children went to the same school, and Keith was a reporter at the TV station where Gray worked.

  "Gray, we were hoping you'd be here this morning," Virginia said as the little girls ran off to their classroom. "I know it's spur of the moment, but Linda's birthday is next weekend and we'd planned to have a party for her then, but yesterday afternoon my mom, who lives in Denver, fell and broke her hip—"

  "Oh, hey, I'm sorry," Gray said.

  "Yeah, she has degenerative arthritis, so her bones are pretty brittle and break easily. She'll be in the hospital for several days, but when she's released, she'll need someone to take care of her. Linda and I are leaving the day after tomorrow, and I don't know when we'll be back, so Keith and I decided to have Linda's party tonight—if we can round up enough kids. Please, say Tinker can come?"

  Gray hesitated. He knew his daughter didn't like going to parties. She wasn't really close friends with any of her group, and they teased her about her reading difficulty.

  Still, he couldn't allow her to hide all her life. It was important that she learn how to mix and socialize. And how to stand up for herself. To give as good as she got.

  "Of course, she can come," Gray said. "What time and where?"

  Virginia's smile was dazzling. "Our house, five o'clock. A sleep-over. We'll swim first, have a barbecue, then go to a movie. Tomorrow morning we'll give them breakfast and take them home."

  Tinker wasn't at all enthusiastic when Gray told her about it after church was out. "Oh, Dad," she whined. "I don't like to be with those kids. They're all smarter than me, and they love to tease me. I'd rather stay home with you and watch television. Or maybe you and me could go to a movie."

  Gray knew that she wasn't telling the whole truth. She was a lonely child and desperately wanted to be accepted by her classmates and the neighborhood kids. But she'd been hurt too often by their insensitivity. Consequently, she had become too attached to Bambi and to him. They were her safe harbor: they loved her even if she couldn't read.

  Gray took her out to brunch and talked her into going to the party, then tried to call Eve to tell her about the change of plans, but she wasn't home. He got her answering machine instead, so he left a message on it, telling her it wouldn't be necessary for her to come tonight.

  He dropped the phone in its cradle and slumped in his chair. He should be elated to have a free night. He hadn't been out on a just-for-fun date in months, unless you counted the abbreviated trip to Deadwood with Eve, and that had ended in disaster. But now the thought of going out with any other woman left him cold. All he could think of was Eve, and how eagerly he'd been looking forward to having her back in his home, even though she couldn't be back in his arms.

  He changed clothes and spent what was left of the afternoon taking care of some business that had been piling up on his desk. Then he took Tinker to the party. At six-thirty, he made himself a peanut butter sandwich and a scotch on the rocks, and settled down in front of the TV to watch the St. Louis Cardinals play the Chicago Cubs.

  He never drank when he was responsible for Tinker, but tonight was going to be a long, lonely one, and a couple of drinks wouldn't hurt.

  The Cardinals had just hit a home run when the doorbell rang. Because of the racket from all the cheering on the TV, he wasn't sure whether he'd heard something or not, but the second time he did hear it and got up to investigate.

  He opened the door and stared. There on the step stood Eve, dressed in a long, red flowered tank top dress. With it she wore red sandals, and her ebony curls were somewhat tamed by a red chiffon scarf.

  She looked amazing! Not that she didn't always, but something about this outfit hit him right in the libido, and took his breath away.

  "E-Eve?" he stammered. "What are you doing here?"

  She looked at him questioningly as she walked past him. "What do you mean, What am I doing here? I work here."

  Her expression changed to concern. "Gray, are you all right? You look as if you weren't expecting me."

  He shut the door behind him and followed her into the living room. "I wasn't expecting you," he said. "Didn't you get my message? I left one on your answering machine."

  She groaned. "Oh, darn, I forgot to check it. I'm always doing that. I spent the day at a family reunion at my parents' house, and when I got back to the apartment, I didn't even think to check for messages. I'm sorry. Was it something important?"

  "Only if you don't mind a wasted trip," he said, and seated her on the couch. He turned off the television, then sat down beside her and proceeded to tell her about Tinker's party.

  "Did Tinker put up much of a fuss about going?" Eve asked when he'd finished.

  He shook his head. "No, not really. She wasn't exactly happy about it, but she agreed without much argument. I wouldn't have made her go if she'd really been upset about it. The Spensers have a new swimming pool, and Tinker loves to swim."

  He grinned sheepishly. "I guess you could say I bribed her. I bought her a new bathing suit to wear. She's also an excellent swimmer, so nobody will tease her about that."

  "Poor little kid," Eve said sadly. "It pains me to think of her hurting. But she's catching up to her grade level fast. By fall, she probably won't need any more tutoring, and then she can show those ornery kids how smart she really is."

  It warmed Gray's heart to hear Eve defend his daughter so vigorously. How much happier his life would have been if he'd married Eve instead of Bambi, he thought. But, of course, that would have been out of the question, even if he'd known her. She was a child at the time—not much older than Tinker was now.

  What more proof did he need that he was too old for her!

  Eve fidgeted. "Well, since you won't need me tonight, I'd better get on home—"

  He couldn't bear to let her go so soon, and, unable to resist, he put his arm around her shoulders. He was careful not to touch any part of her that he shouldn't. "No, not yet," he murmured. "I've missed you. Stay for a while."

  She didn't rebuff his gesture, but neither did she snuggle. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

  "Oh, yes, very sure. It might not be the smartest thing to do, but it's definitely what I want."

  He felt her relax a little, and he kissed the top of her head. Her hair was as fragrant as an English garden bouquet, and he gently rubbed his face in it. It tickled his nose and sent little pinpricks down
his spine.

  "May I get you a drink? Maybe some chips and dip?" he asked reluctantly, hoping she'd say no. He didn't want to release her and take the chance that she wouldn't let him this close to her again.

  "No, thank you," she said on a sigh, and relaxed even more.

  They weren't touching intimately or carrying on a titillating conversation, but nevertheless Gray was becoming aroused, and fast. Damn, he'd never had this much trouble controlling his sex drive before. Sure Eve was beautiful, but he'd known a lot of beautiful women. Especially in his business. She was also sexy, but again, in the TV industry he met a lot of sexy women. So why did she leave him reeling?

  He nuzzled her warm, fragrant neck, and she shivered and burrowed closer, this time completely relaxed. The temptation was too great, and he lowered his arm to her waist and cupped her breast with his other hand. With a moan, she turned toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

  He turned, too, and pressed her chest against his, but still he couldn't get enough of her. As he slid his hand down the curvaceous rise of her firm hip to rest on her knee, the silky smoothness of her dress was like an aphrodisiac. It enflamed his senses, and all his good intentions turned to ashes. His palm rubbed slowly back up her leg, bunching the skirt of the garment and taking it along.

  Her legs were bare, the skin smooth, and he was in agony. It was all he could do not to take her right here and now. He knew she wouldn't resist, and the only thing that stopped him was the knowledge that she was a virgin. What kind of man would he be if he took what she was offering? The problem was that he couldn't seem to stop.

  Before he could get his wits about him, he realized that Eve was unfastening his shirt. He should stop her, he knew, but he didn't. Instead he helped her.

  "Eve, I want you," he groaned as he tore off his shirt, and she unsnapped his jeans.

  "I know," she said. Then she unzipped his zipper, an act that was nearly his undoing—in more ways than one. "I want you, too. There's nothing wrong with that."

  "I hope not," he said as he reached behind her and unzipped the long zipper on the back of her dress. "Because this time we've gone too far. I can't stop."

  "Me, neither," she murmured, and slipped her arms from her unfastened dress.

  Through the haze that clouded Gray's mind, he thought he heard a slight noise coming from somewhere in the house, but he knew the doors and windows were locked and he was too steeped in bliss to think about anything but Eve—

  Then a loud gasp filled the air, and Bambi's strident voice rang out loud and clear. "How dare you make love with this woman in plain sight, with my little girl right down the hall! And you call me a bad mother! I'll see you both in hell before I let you have custody of Tinker ever again! You'll be lucky if you get visitation rights!"

  Chapter Eleven

  Eve lay frozen on the couch, nude to the waist, her skirt pulled up to mid-thigh, and unable to see or feel or even think clearly. Gray had bolted off the couch to face Bambi, and Eve heard them shouting at each other, but couldn't tell what they were saying. All she knew was that one minute she was soaring on the verge of ecstasy, and the next she was plunged into a black hole.

  Gray and Bambi were so engrossed in their argument that they weren't paying any attention to her, and she took the opportunity to grab her dress and pull it up to her chin, then roll off the couch and scramble across the room.

  When she got to the fireplace, she zipped the back of her dress as high as she could quickly reach, then stumbled blindly to the door. She scooped up her purse from the hall table, and ran.

  Her hands shook as she worked to unlock her car door and turn on the ignition, but all she could think of was getting away from there. As she backed down the driveway, her car ran over part of Gray's beautifully manicured lawn, and when she came to the street she turned without making any conscious decision as to which way to go.

  Eve wasn't sure how long she drove around aimlessly before her mind began to function again. When it did, she fervently wished it hadn't. She'd never been so humiliated in her life! Just thinking about it made her break out in a cold sweat.

  Not that she didn't deserve it. Gray had been up-front with her from the start. He knew his ex-wife, knew what she was capable of, and knew he was tied to her because of their daughter. But had Eve had the good sense to listen? No! She'd been so sure that she knew more than he did about what he wanted.

  By now it was dark, and she didn't know where she was. There had been a lot of construction going on in Rapid City the past few years, and she wasn't familiar with all the residential areas anymore. She knew she wasn't anywhere near her apartment or her family home.

  Not that she could go there, anyway. She wished she could throw herself in her parents' arms and let them soothe her and take away the embarrassment and pain. But she couldn't share this experience with anyone, least of all her mom and dad.

  But neither could she go to her own apartment. Gray would come looking for her, and she couldn't face him, either. No, what she had to do was get away for a few days, try to sort out her tangled life and her options.

  She felt guilty about abandoning her job as Tinker's baby-sitter and tutor, but Gray and his family were no longer her responsibility. They never had been, but she hadn't had the good sense to admit it.

  It was Saturday of the following weekend before Eve had all her plans made, and felt strong enough to face her parents and Gray and tell them. Meanwhile, she'd been staying at her family's rustic summer cabin in the woods.

  She'd called her mother to tell her that she and Gray had had a disagreement, and let her parents know where she was staying. She asked her mother not to tell him or anyone else where she was, should anyone come looking for her. She knew her secret was safe. Her mother was a wise lady. She'd taught her daughters to make their own decisions, and then let them follow those decisions without interference.

  Now Eve was back home in her apartment again. She'd had lunch with her parents, and they had told her that Gray Flint had called every day to ask if Eve was all right, and would she be home soon. Of course, they couldn't tell him when she'd be back because they didn't know.

  Eve was sorry that she'd caused him to worry, but it couldn't be helped. She hadn't known herself when she was coming back.

  Eve had filled her parents in on her plans for the future. She assured them that she and Gray could never be more than friends because there were too many obstacles in the way of a romantic relationship.

  Her parents had been supportive, as always, and her dad promised to honor his word to furnish all the materials for the new school roof at cost, even though she wouldn't be teaching there anymore.

  Later that afternoon, when Eve was cleaning out her kitchen cupboards and putting the food in boxes to take to her parents' house, the phone rang. It was Gray.

  "Eve! Where have you been? I've been going out of my mind—"

  "I'm sorry, Gray," she interrupted, "but I just couldn't face anybody."

  "No, I'm the one who's sorry, Eve. Look, I'm coming over. Please, wait there for me. We have to talk."

  Gray hung up before she could answer, and he was on her balcony ringing the doorbell in record time. She'd been pacing the floor, eager to see him, but dreading it, too. Now she hurried to open the door. For a moment they just looked at each other, then Gray broke the silence. "Eve…"

  He put out his hand as if to touch her, but she backed away and stood aside. "Come in, Gray," she said. Her knees shook, but her voice was steady. "I'm sorry I left so abruptly without giving you notice. Have you found a baby-sitter for Tinker?"

  He shook his head. "No. I've gone back to my original arrangement with Bambi. I hated to do it, but she understands that it's just until you come back."

  She turned and walked across the room to the sofa, knowing he would follow her. "Please, sit down. I have something to tell you."

  Gray was pretty sure that he didn't want to hear what she was going to say, but he did as she told him. Eve se
ated herself in the upholstered chair across the small room from him. "No, honey, let me go first," he said. "There are no words to tell you how sorry I am about that episode with Bambi last weekend. I had no idea—"

  "I understand," Eve interrupted. "And if it was the fault of either of us, it was mine. You warned me, but I wouldn't listen."

  He was puzzled. "What do you mean I 'warned' you? I didn't know she would—"

  "No," she corrected. "I mean you said you could never fall in love again, and that even if you did, you wouldn't consider another marriage. You told me like it was, but I wouldn't listen."

  Damn him and his big mouth. He'd apparently been clumsy about telling her how things were with him. He hadn't meant to insult her or hurt her feelings. "Sweetheart—"

  She put up her hand to silence him. "I'm not blaming you for anything, but I've come to realize that I can't live on the periphery of your life—"

  "That's nonsense!" This time it was he who interrupted. "You're as much a part of my life as—as…"

  "As Bambi and Tinker? No way. And what's more, I never will be. I'll always be the third angle of a triangle to you. The one you go to after you're sure the other two have been taken care of. You're a caregiver, Gray, and that's admirable in the extreme. But I didn't come along in time to be high enough on your list of people to care for."

  She shivered and hugged herself. "I'm sorry, but I can't play third fiddle in your orchestrated priorities."

  Gray felt as if he'd been poleaxed. He glanced over at her. She looked so desirable in her blue shorts and shirt set, but there was something wrong with the picture. She sat all huddled up, with her arms across her chest and her bare feet planted squarely on the floor. He ached to go over and take her in his arms, but it was as though there was an invisible wall around her posted with Keep Away signs.

  He was almost afraid to question her, afraid of what she might say. She had good reason to be upset because he knew just how badly she'd been hurt. But he couldn't stand to have her so…so inaccessible.