Forgiven: a bully romance (An Academy Twin Rivalry Series Book 3)

by Taylor Blaine

  Braddox sidled closer, the distance getting smaller, but he didn’t hold himself in a threatening way. I had to question myself. Was he going to hurt me? Just because he looked harmless didn’t mean he was. Maybe part of what made him more dangerous was his ability to chameleon his intentions behind his charm.

  I held up my hand and shook my head. “Stop. Don’t move any closer to me. I don’t know what you think you’re doing in here, but I’m going to let Jaxon know you came in here and that you were going through his things.” I shifted back into the center of the doorway, watching him with my eyes narrowed.

  He froze, holding his hands down by his sides. “What’s the matter, Liv, scared of me? If I remember correctly, you were the one who cut me the last time we were in a bedroom together. I’ve never held a knife on you. In fact, everything I’ve done to you has been because I care.” His eyes grew darker as he scanned me. “Everything I did was because you wanted me to. You’re just too nervous to admit it.”

  My mouth fell open as I gaped at him. I blinked. “Are you kidding me, right now? Please, say this is some kind of a joke. If you cared about me, you wouldn’t have tricked me and then raped me. You wouldn’t have…”

  Braddox held up his hand and shook his head. “Hey, now. No. I never raped you. You were into it. You wanted me to do what I did to you. Don’t you remember cumming? Hard?” His eyes took on a knowing look that left me feeling like he screwed me all over again.

  “It’s rape, if I didn’t know who you were. I thought you were Jaxon. And you know it. You sent me a text and tried your best to keep your identity a secret.” I bit my lip and blinked back tears. Why was I so upset? Then it dawned on me. “You know what? I actually cared about you. It was actually to where I wasn’t sure which one of you O’Donnell boys I cared about more. You killed that. You destroyed that, Braddox. That’s on you.”

  He pulled back from me. He didn’t say anything as he continued to watch me. But he tried moving closer.

  I shook my head, watching him as he moved closer. “We know what you did.” I said it like a challenge wrapped in a warning and sautéed in a sauce of fear.

  This time he stopped and backed up a couple steps. Turning from me, he faced the drawers again and started digging through the middle one with even more frantic movements. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t done anything.” He paused and glanced over his shoulder with a smug grin. “Except you. I’ve definitely done you.”

  Unfazed by his crass reminder of our night together, I arched an eyebrow. I wasn’t some girl who had never been around him. I knew his tricks. One thing Braddox did the best was redirection. He got you upset about something else that had nothing to do with him in an attempt to avoid dealing with what you were really upset about. In this instance, it had to do with the fact that he didn’t want to admit to doing anything. He wasn’t sure what I knew – except the obvious.

  I didn’t leave the protection of my doorjamb as I gripped the wood trim at shoulder level. “You know what I’m talking about, though, don’t you?” I lowered my voice, tucking my chin as I offered up the information Jaxon and I had held close to our chest. Braddox had to know we knew. Maybe that would affect the way he treated us. Would it be enough?

  Braddox turned back to me, folding his arms. “What? What do you think you know, Liv? I honestly don’t have time for games. If you want to screw me again, I can make some time for those games, but if you want to just make vague accusations, I don’t care.” He shrugged, but something in his eyes hinted at apprehension.

  He wanted something more specific? I’d give him all the specifics he could handle. “I know about you and Stephanie.” I jerked my chin up and clenched my jaw, speaking through gritted teeth. “Are you going to deny that?”

  He tilted his head to the side, a look of mild regret softening his bored expression. “Stephanie and I… that was something that had nothing to do with you and me.”

  “She was my best-friend, Braddox. You screwed her. How could that not be personal or involve me?” My nails dug into the wood of the trim as my grip tightened. Was he minimizing the things he’d done to her? To me?

  “It was just a year, Liv. That’s nothing compared to what we have.” His eyes lowered to half-mast as he tried to increase the intimacy between us.

  But he overestimated what I’d known about my friend. I shook my head, my eyes wide. “A year!? You were screwing her for a year? When we were together? This… this is why I can’t be with you. You’re self-serving.” I took a deep, steadying breath. Before he could get another drop on me, I had to get the upper hand. “I know about what you did to your mom.”

  That hit him. He blinked at me, his expression fading to neutral as if I hadn’t spoken. He licked his lips and shot a glance around the room as if looking for a way to escape, but he couldn’t focus. Then he turned his attention back to me and shook his head as he spoke in a low tone. “You don’t know all of it. You can’t.”

  “We know enough. We don’t need the details.” I shrugged, more flippant than I probably should be, but I wanted under his skin like he was trying to get under mine.

  “We? Does Jaxon know?” The intensity in Braddox’s eyes hardened. Was that fear in his stance?

  A sense of power gave me courage like I’d had a shot of whiskey. I raised my eyebrows and smirked at him, completely comfortable with him thinking whatever he wanted.

  “When did you tell my father?” Braddox squared up to me, his chin tucked as he studied me. Judging by the way he watched me, he thought I hid something that he couldn’t live without – and not in a good way.

  I sighed, unable to deny my frustration or even lie about the facts. “No. Jaxon said I couldn’t.”

  “He wants to do it himself. Is that where he is?” Braddox pulled out his cell phone, checking the screen and then tucking it back in his pocket. He folded his arms again, noting my position in the door.

  Shaking my head, I couldn’t help the expression of disgust crossing my features. The whole situation pissed me off. “No. He doesn’t want to tell Trenton.” I jumped as he stepped one step forward and thrust his finger toward the ground.

  His voice started as a slight growl. “I want to know why. What does he want?”

  I shook my head, backing up and gripping the handle of the door. He was closer than I was comfortable with, his eyes thunderous and his expression concealing what his eyes couldn’t. I swallowed. I had to clear my throat softly before I could speak. “He said there’s no reason to make you look bad to your dad. He keeps saying you’ve had your reasons and that’s why you do things. You don’t do anything without having a reason.” I shook my head, disgusted with Jaxon’s answer, but I couldn’t keep myself from respecting him. It was his choice and he wasn’t interested in making Braddox pay as badly as I did.

  If it was me, I would have turned the bastard in every way I could. But Jaxon searched for a reason to give his brother the benefit of the doubt. The fact that he loved his brother only made him seem stronger instead of weak like I’d expected.

  “I don’t understand.” Braddox shook his head, angling his jaw to the side as he waited. “Tell me the truth, Olivia.” Like he would recognize the truth if it nipped him on the nuts.

  “I don’t know, okay? He doesn’t blame you.” In a moment of bravery, I closed the distance between us and poked him in the center of the chest with a straight finger. “He doesn’t blame you, but I do. I hold you responsible for a lot more than that night you took my virginity. I blame you for so much more.”

  I could feel the anger coming off me in heavy waves. Kicking him in the crotch wouldn’t take much effort and it would feel so vindicated.

  But before I could do anything, he shook his head, his eyes suddenly sad as he nodded. “Yeah, I do, too.”

  I backed up, shaking my head and pointing my finger at him as I retreated to my room. “No. You don’t get to try to be human now. You’re an asshole. I want nothing to do with you. You’ve s
crewed over too many people, Braddox O’Donnell. You deserve whatever happens to you. Jaxon is a better person than you. He should have a brother worthy to share his genes.” Holding his gaze, I slammed the adjoining door with as much force as I dared.

  I couldn’t stick up for Jaxon like I wanted to when he stood in the way of true vengeance against his brother. At least he was doing what he could to help me find justice in my own life. I grabbed my phone and swiped to the texting thread I had with Jaxon.

  Me: Please tell me you’re okay.

  I sat on the edge of my bed, secured in my locked bedroom as I stared at the phone and waited for his reply. What if Staci was onto him? What if she’d trapped him? What if, he’d realized just how much he actually wanted someone like her? Someone with her experience? Her long legs and beautiful body?

  Closing my eyes, I hung my head, gripping the edge of the bed with aching hands. All of me hurt. All of me wanted him back. All of me worried about him.

  Please, let him be okay.

  Chapter 15

  Braddox

  I barely registered that Olivia slammed the door shut. In some kind of trance, I moved mechanically back through Jaxon’s room, replacing the things I’d moved as I’d searched for something… I couldn’t even remember what it was after Olivia’s revelations.

  The subtle aroma of my brother’s aftershave wafted up from his pillow as I put it back into order and tucked the comforter back where he’d had it.

  For some reason, this bothered me – that he would come home and find his room ransacked. I had no doubt Olivia would tell him I’d been there, but the feeling of being violated was one I could spare him of enduring.

  And the fact that I cared was what shocked me the most.

  I tossed one last glance behind me as I approached the door to the hallway. Nothing was out of place. It took me to leave his room for it to go back to right.

  The gloomy hallway matched my mood. Before going into Jaxon’s room, I’d been filled with a sense of purpose and anger. Both emotions had motivated me, driven me, and I’d approached the entire job with a sense of pleasure.

  But as I slowly walked toward my room, I had to admit that the heavy weight pressing on my shoulders was of my own making. My room didn’t relieve any of the pressure weighing on me. I snapped the door shut once I got inside and moved to stand at my window.

  Lights set up in strategic spots revealed a quiet night with no activity. Even the normally present wind wasn’t whipping the rain around. Instead it was allowed to fall in a drizzling streak from the night sky.

  I could stand there, in the dark, and wait for my brother to get home. I could watch as he pulled into the drive and walked into the house. He had no idea that I’d set him up for death.

  Not just a death, but a torturous murder. I clenched my hands into fists and slammed the wall beside the large bay-style window.

  Damn it, Jaxon. I braced my hands on the wall with my legs in a slight lunge as I hung my head between my straight arms and stared at the dark flooring under me. Damn it.

  There was no going back. I had already transferred the money to Donnie who got his cut and then sent it on to the men he’d hired for me. I sent all the details via text about what Jaxon would be wearing and where he would be and at what time.

  Even Jaxon and Olivia didn’t know they would be there and that Jaxon would die in front of her. Everything was set and ready to go. It hadn’t taken more than ten minutes to get the details lined up and the confirmation. The entire thing had filled me with adrenaline and excitement.

  I wanted more. More secrets, more signs of betrayal. I’d gone to his room to find something else that would whet my desire for revenge.

  I’d always known he was the reason I couldn’t be happy. He took Mom – ignoring my role in it. He took Olivia – again, ignoring my role, and he was trying to take Dad. All of which I couldn’t allow.

  Except now… I wanted to throw up. I’d gotten more information than I wanted. The wrong kind. The wrong everything.

  I sniffed and stood, stretching my head to the left and the right as I inhaled as deeply as I could and then blew it out on a whoosh. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to try to process the information Olivia had given me. I needed to piece the facts together with my own reality when all I wanted to do was escape reality.

  Swinging my arms in front of me and then behind, I strode around the room, trying to burn off the sudden rush of endorphins that left a flood of goosebumps over my skin.

  I passed my reflection in the floor-to-ceiling mirror on the wall beside the bathroom door and I paused. Turning back slowly, I bit the inside of my cheek as I looked into eyes that could have been my brother’s. If Donnie’s men were successful, this was the only way I would be able to see Jaxon grow up, grow old, and anything else. I’d never get another chance to talk to him – even though we fought all the time.

  But it hadn’t always been that way. We’d been the closest friends and… if I really wanted to face myself and be honest, the only times we’d had problems was when I acted out in jealousy. He had once brought home a new friend and I’d stormed off pouting because I believed he would try to replace me.

  Another time when we were about nine, Mom had asked if we wanted to do mother-son dates and spend time with her one-on-one. When we agreed she’d asked if she should start with Jaxon.

  Right then, I knew he was her favorite. What else could it have been?

  When I’d gone to dinner and a movie with her on my turn to go, I’d asked my mom if Jaxon was her favorite. She’d seemed insulted I would ask and said she didn’t believe in favorites.

  But she never actually answered my question. So, I decided to make myself her favorite. We weren’t very old, but drugs were easy to find even at that age. My friends needed them and they seemed so happy with their dealers, I couldn’t help thinking Mom would feel like that about me, if I was her dealer. She’d have to come to me for something that only I could give her.

  The nature of the beast wasn’t something a ten-year-old could completely comprehend. As she’d moved out with Jaxon, I felt certain she would come back because she missed me. But instead, she wrote letters to Dad asking if she could send Jaxon back. She was worried about Jaxon.

  Everything was about Jaxon.

  I turned and sank onto the settee sitting a few feet in front of the window and leaned forward, bracing my elbows on my knees. All of my life I’d believed Jaxon was out to get me, make me look worse, destroy me behind my back.

  According to Olivia, he was trying to protect me. He’d only had my back. And there I was setting him up to be killed, in front of a girl he liked a lot no less.

  I couldn’t understand it. When Olivia had said Jaxon knew about me and what I’d done, I could have killed someone. My brother knew. If he knew, then, I’d thought, of course, my dad knew. Jaxon would have told as many people as he could. If Dad ever found out that I was the reason our family had fallen apart, he would never forgive me. He’d never look at me the same. For some reason, that affected me more than I’d thought possible.

  And why wouldn’t Jaxon say something? Why wouldn’t he reveal to Dad and everyone else what an evil bastard I was? The first thing I would have done when I found out something like that was take out a newspaper advertisement about it. I’d report it on all the social media I had access to. I’d contact reporters, journalists, and the school leaders. I’d call the cops and anyone else I could get to listen. The story would be so common, it would become synonymous with our last name.

  That’s what I would do. I wouldn’t hesitate to throw Jaxon under the bus, if our roles were reversed. In a heartbeat.

  According to Olivia, Jaxon wouldn’t let her report it. She was more like me than she wanted to accept.

  But she said Jaxon didn’t want anyone to know because I must have my reasons.

  My reasons!

  My reasons were because I hated him. Deep down, soul-searing hate. I was jealous of my brother and no
matter what I did to squash him down a level or two beneath me, he seemed to rise. I ended up feeling ten times worse.

  I wasn’t supposed to want to be him. He was supposed to want to be me.

  Falling back on the bed, I crossed my arms and rested my forearms across my eyes and tried getting Olivia’s expression from my memory.

  There was no going back for her and me. She would never see me as a possibility for her. The more I saw her and even more when I wasn’t around her, I knew I had to have her. Again and again. I would even go so far as to say… I think I loved her.

  Was that possible, though? She continually chose Jaxon over me. She chose not to have sex with me. She said she hated me which stung. She really was lost to me and I hated admitting to myself just how much that actually hurt.

  The sense of abandonment lodged itself in my chest alongside the dark gloominess still attached to the memories of my mother. I had to love Olivia. She was one more person who wouldn’t accept what I dished out. She expected better from me, which was a helluva lot more than I expected from myself.

  Did I love her? I know I wanted better for her. I wanted her to be happy. I honestly wanted the best for her and as I stared up at the ceiling in my dark room, I had to acknowledge that maybe…. Just maybe… I wasn’t the best thing for her.

  If I could afford even a sliver of honesty, I could admit to myself in the quiet of my dark bedroom that Jaxon was the better man. He was the best one for Olivia because he would never let her down. He would never fail her. He would never lose his way with other women, or even with jealous thoughts. He would always give her the benefit of the doubt.

  He would never set his twin brother up to be killed.

  No. Only I would do that. I was a special kind of bastard that Olivia deserved better than.

  I did love her and I could do better.

  The question was, which part of me was going to win? The side that wanted revenge or the side that only came out in the quiet of a dark night?