Forgiven: a bully romance (An Academy Twin Rivalry Series Book 3)

by Taylor Blaine

  I huffed, shaking my head as I studied him. “I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you. You’re my brother. My twin. There’s no room in my heart for hate toward you.”

  We stared at each other for the space of ten seconds, twenty, and then thirty. When he spoke, his voice low and solid, no evidence of alcohol was in the consonants or vowels of his syllables. “I have. I’ve hated you more than I can even contain. I used to cut myself to try to release some of the hatred but it never worked. It never fixed anything and I was stuck with wounds I couldn’t explain.” He stared at me sadly, all of his emotions jumbled and twisted in his features so like mine.

  I had to swallow, get control of the constriction of my throat before I tried speaking. I finally cleared my throat and tilted my head to the side. “Why? Why would you hate me that much?” How could he hate me like that when we were brothers?

  Braddox laughed, the sound deep and dark and from the very depths of his heart. “Are you kidding me? Jealousy. Don’t start acting stupid now.”

  I jerked my head back, blinking as I continued watching him. “What? Jealous of me? Are you shitting me right now? There’s nothing you could possibly be jealous of.” I was starting to get mad. It wasn’t funny that he was playing with my emotions like he was. Almost tiredly, I spoke softly. “I have nothing, Braddox. Nothing that you don’t have and more.”

  Braddox moved toward me, his eyes wide. He thrust his finger into my chest, poke, poke, poke, in sync with each word he spoke. “You have everything. I can’t measure up. I never have been able to. I started wondering why I even try about four years ago. Mom sent those letters to Dad every week, begging for a second chance, but she never asked about me. She never asked if she could see me or anything. She always talked about you, what you were doing, what she needed Dad to do for you. She never asked about me.” His throat worked as he stared at me, dropping his hand to his side. “You don’t get it. You’ve been everything to them and I’m second grade.”

  “No. That’s not right. You’re just making that up in your head. That’s all. They love you the same as me.” I didn’t believe our parents had favorites. They couldn’t. “Mom and Dad didn’t work like that. Mom might have after her drugs started, but you created that monster. I promise, I wasn’t her favorite. I was her money pit. No one wanted me.” I pushed off from the dresser and paced, circling Braddox since he stood in my way. “All I’ve ever done since leaving this damn house is try to prove myself to Dad, to Mom, to you, and to anyone else who doubted me. You know what that got me? A dead boss who I thought of like an uncle. A dead drug addicted mother who didn’t care about me at all. A dad who uses me as a work horse. And a brother who thought it would be fun to rape my almost-girlfriend. That’s what it’s gotten me. You have to admit, it sounds like I’m exactly the one to be jealous of.”

  Braddox held up a finger for each point he refuted as he spoke. “Let’s see. You got to live with the mother I got addicted. You have more attention and time from a father who doesn’t even answer my texts. Your almost-girlfriend was first mine. I could keep going, but what’s the point, right? No matter which way I turn, you’re making out better than me.” He shook his head, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose and turn toward the door. “I need to lie down. All this thinking is bound to get one of us killed.”

  He left me standing there in my room with more questions than answers and more certainty I was never going to get close to my brother.

  Chapter 20

  Jaxon

  Olivia got back and found me in my room. Not that I was hiding, but I wasn’t exactly seeking company either.

  I had my headphones on while I was stretched out on my bed, face down. All I wore were a pair of board shorts. The doors were locked, except for the one between our rooms. We both had left those open as if to say we trusted the other more than anyone else in the house. It was a silent acceptance of our time together.

  My eyes were closed and I didn’t know she was in the room until the softest of touches ran down my spine. I didn’t move voluntarily as my muscles jerked and jolted under her soft fingers. Then she pressed bare breasts against my skin and I moaned. She spread on top of me, her body completely naked as she stretched out and nipped at my ear from behind.

  I’m not sure who rolled first or who moved where but in seconds we faced each other and I took her there on the bed, hard and fast and then slow and soft. She came twice around me. I’m not sure I could have survived more than one.

  After, we lay in each other’s arms, her curled against my side as we stared at the ceiling. I trailed my fingers down the side of her arm, up and down, lazily caressing her while the heat cooled to something more manageable.

  “Is it always like that?” Olivia’s words were soft, like she wasn’t sure she wanted to ask me.

  “It’s never been like that for me.” I didn’t want to ask if that’s how it had been for her with Braddox. Had it been, since she asked if that’s how it always was? I couldn’t help the images flashing across my mind.

  She reached up, pressing her fingers against my lips. “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?” I glanced tightly down at her like I didn’t know what she was talking about.

  “I’m not comparing you to Braddox. If I was? I would have to say he didn’t make me feel the way you do. Even though I thought it was you, I still felt… used. I was kind of upset afterwards. I ran into the bathroom and avoided you. Then I found out it was Braddox and it made sense. He never made me feel like you do – like it’s both of us here. Like I’m as important as you are. He definitely didn’t make me finish twice.” Her cheeks pinked and she looked away from my face.

  “Wait a minute, are you embarrassed that you came twice?” I teased her, loving the soft pink on her skin that spread down to her breasts.

  She peeked at me from under her eyelashes and twisted her lips to the side. “You don’t think that’s selfish of me? I mean, you only did once, right?” She cleared her throat and moved her leg across mine.

  I couldn’t help being worried for a flash second about the fact that we had screwed twice without protection. I’d have to bring that up with her.

  “Are you kidding? Get as many as you can. I’d finish more than once, if I wasn’t worried it was going to kill me or if I could.” I winked at her. “Guys need time to recharge. With you, I don’t need much.” I held her close and then murmured, “We haven’t used protection at all.”

  Olivia lifted her eyes to mine, her flush fading to a slight pallor that made her dark eyes appear even larger. “I think I’m okay, but we probably shouldn’t do it without again. If… I mean, that is if you want to keep doing this?” She scrunched her nose as she looked away.

  Just the adorable way she asked the question made me hard.

  I grabbed her by the waist and put her above my lap, easing her down onto me. Her eyes widened and her mouth formed an O.

  “Why would you think I’m not interested?” I grinned as I moved under her. “By the way, we probably need to define what we are. I don’t want to call you my sex-buddy and I don’t want to chance you running off with the nearest guy that looks like me.” I winked at her and pulled her down, pressing my lips to hers and then delving my tongue into her mouth. We moved like that as one moving body as if she breathed in and I exhaled.

  I’m not sure who fell asleep first.

  ~~~

  The next morning, I climbed out of the shower and toweled off. Olivia had disappeared sometime during the early morning, kissing me as she left. I’d have to talk to her about leaving me in the darkest times of the night. We didn’t have to hide from anyone. Well, I guessed technically, we still were underage and we still had to worry about what our parents said, but as far as Braddox was concerned, I didn’t care if he found out.

  In fact, it might help if I told him that Olivia was mine and I wasn’t sharing. I also might have to make it clear that any trespassing in that arena would be considered an open challenge. I didn’t
back away from a challenge and I didn’t lose.

  I pulled on my jeans and then a t-shirt, padding across my room to glance out the window. Of course, more clouds, more rain. Maybe instead of college, I needed to take that money from the Crenshaw’s and take a trip around the world, particularly the warmer climates. Maybe Olivia would consider going with me.

  A knock on the door pulled me away from the window. This was the door to the hallway, not the door to Olivia’s room. I turned, narrowing my eyes as I crossed the floor and opened the door.

  Braddox leaned against the doorjamb, obviously more sober and less confrontational than the day before. He avoided my gaze as he held his folded arms across his chest. His short sleeve shirt showed the dark edges of a tattoo on his bicep, but the shape wasn’t easy to make out.

  “What do you need?” I raised my eyebrows, not willing to let him in my room without a solid reason. There was still the smell of Olivia and me together and Braddox would recognize that smell with one sniff. I would declare Olivia as mine, but on my own terms and not because Braddox had evidence we’d screwed in my room.

  But Braddox didn’t try to come in. He angled his head to the side, his expression somber. “Do you think we could go somewhere? Together?” His words didn’t come across as sarcastic or anything else.

  After the revealing way he’d spoken to me the day before, I wasn’t sure I wanted to trust him that much. Yet, another part of me that had more sway over the rest of me, wanted a chance to get to know my brother more. Plus, arrogance ran in the family. I had no doubt I would be fine in whatever situation I found myself in.

  Braddox might lift and pose a threatening form, but I actually knew how to use the fists and muscles I had. I’d been in my fair share of fights and I knew how to take a hit and how to throw one. I nodded slowly. “Give me a minute.” I didn’t close the door as I went back to my closet and grabbed a bright blue hoodie. I pulled on socks and a pair of black leather boots. Usually I wore my black hoodie, but not that day. I needed something different.

  Braddox followed me into my room. He didn’t mention the smell as he glanced at a silver wristwatch he wore and tucked his hands back into his pants pockets. Moving around the room, he spied my black hoodie hanging on a chair. “Do you mind if I borrow this? I think my only hoodie got trashed when Staci was here last. She hacked at some of my clothes because of something I said. I don’t want to wear my leather coat. It’s supposed to rain more.” His expression looked bored, but for some reason I couldn’t help thinking it mattered a great deal to him, that he wore it.

  The whole thing raised my suspicions, but I shrugged and nodded. “Sure, man, whatever. It’s my fave though, so don’t think you get to keep it.” Were we bonding? Were we having a brotherly moment where he was borrowing my clothes and I was ribbing him about getting them back to me?

  I didn’t want to jeopardize whatever simple start we were having, but I also didn’t want to take it for granted. If we were going to start somewhere and work on our relationship, I would share my favorite hoodie with him. We had to start somewhere and that was as good a place as any.

  We each finished settling in the hoodies we wore, and then I followed Braddox from the house. My phone had been tucked securely into my hoodie’s front pocket. No way was I going to let Braddox get my phone this time.

  Of course, I knew not to trust him. He wasn’t trustworthy. But I wanted to. I wanted to think we were going to start fresh and believe in each other, have that bond that I’d read so jealously about that most twins had. Was our relationship safe where I should be going anywhere with him?

  Someone had to take the first step. I could trust him. I had to at least try. But I couldn’t ignore the voice in my heart as it questioned how many chances Braddox would get before he’d used up his last one.

  I wasn’t sure.

  I hoped I lived long enough to find out.

  Braddox

  We’d hit the fated day. I had to get Jaxon to the kill site. He’d worn blue and that would be easy to make out for whoever was coming after him. I closed my eyes as I led the way down the hall. The brief moment of introspection would have to be enough to give me strength to do what I needed to do.

  The plan was already in motion. There was nothing I could do at that point except follow through with what I’d set up. Maybe try to make it as painless as possible. I’d asked for torturous, but I wasn’t going to be able to change much more than that.

  We had to get out of the house before Olivia got up. I didn’t want her to stop us as we left the house. I could see her doing whatever it took to keep Jaxon away from me. Or worse, adamantly joining us. She didn’t need to see the murder as it went down. I could spare her that much. I had to at least try.

  I motioned toward the Nova and winked. “You’re familiar with Lucy already. Let’s just take her.” I had more control over where we ended up, if we went in my car.

  “Lucy? You named the Nova Lucy?” Jaxon arched an eyebrow and climbed into my pride and joy. “Why not something with a little heat? Like Marilyn or Samantha?” His words muffled just a bit as I climbed into my own seat.

  “Well, I don’t know if you remember Lucy Smythe from sixth grade?” I pulled my door shut and started the engine, glancing back at the house. I half-expected Olivia to run from the house to stop us. She didn’t show up. I pulled out of the driveway and onto the road. One situation taken care of. I could finish what I needed to. It would all be over fast.

  “Yeah, I remember her. Cute little thing. You named the car after her?” Jaxon furrowed his brow and glanced at me like I was weirder than he’d thought.

  I laughed, forcing myself to be comfortable with my brother. I would only have this short time with him due to circumstances no longer inside my control. Might as well take advantage of the time left. “The truth is, I got the car when she and I were dating and she was my first… shall we say break in of the car. I named the car after that night.” I laughed. “Man, she had hot tits.”

  Jaxon laughed, the sound clearer and purer than my own bitter sounding mirth. “Sounds like a solid reason to me.” He sighed, resting his hands on his thighs. “I never named mine. I considered it but Margarita didn’t seem appropriate for a car. I had to go with a Mexican sounding name and the only ones I know are the drinks and tacos.”

  I laughed, shaking my head. “That’s probably a good point.” We drove around town. I had a little bit of time before we had to be where I’d set things up. I needed poetic justice and I needed it at a specific time.

  Pointing at the East Shores Apartments as we passed, I glanced at my brother. “Do you miss it?” I wasn’t trying to be sarcastic, but in actuality I really did want to know.

  Jaxon leaned his elbow on the closed windowsill and studied the apartments as we drove past. The silence between us wasn’t uncomfortable so much as pregnant and full. He finally glanced at me and then looked out the front windshield. “It’s not that I miss it. It’s more like, that’s the life I knew. That’s what I made my home. Where I got comfortable. But where I was stuck in a rut, it was also getting progressively worse. Mom… she and Norman had gotten bad and going back to that every day was harder than it should have been. But there were only so many times I could sleep at the shop, you know?” He shrugged, pushing off the import of what he was saying.

  Where I’d had our father’s home to return to everyday, where I was guaranteed safety and security as well as food and warmth, Jaxon had been forced to find a place to lay his head every night. I’d forced him into that position.

  I tightened my hold on the steering wheel, chewing on the inside of my cheek. There was no justifying that one any longer. I’d forced my brother into a hellish situation and I never pulled him out, when I could have.

  “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wanted to tell you… I’m sorry.” I held up my hand when Jaxon moved as if to speak or to stop me. “Look, I don’t do a lot of things right. I know this. I’m fine with it.” I shot him a half-wry
-smile.

  “The thing is, I didn’t do any of that to you like I knew what was going to happen. I did it as a kid with severe insecurities. I thought if I did one thing it would give me a certain set of results. Instead… I lost my mom and my brother and my chances at gaining the starring role in the family. If I’d left things alone, I could have tried for that. Really taken the challenge on, instead of turning into… a bored kid with time to be jealous.” I didn’t look at Jaxon as I drove, turning left, right, and then left again as I headed toward the cemetery.

  Because wasn’t that where we were always going to end up?

  Chapter 21

  Olivia

  I stood at the kitchen counter, sipping a cup of coffee Mom and Trenton had left in the coffee machine. I stared at the table. Jaxon had left a little while ago, but I wasn’t sure where he went. It had been almost an hour and I hadn’t heard from him.

  Pulling my phone out, I opened a thread and texted him. We weren’t exactly in the clear from danger. Neither of us knew what Braddox was up to except for the secret I hadn’t yet told Jaxon about the ordered hit. I had no idea where Donnie was, either. To the best of my knowledge, we probably shouldn’t have been splitting up at that point.

  Me: Hey, where’d you go?

  It wasn’t unreasonable of me to want to know where he was. We were under attack and I couldn’t figure out who wanted to tear us apart besides Braddox.