Look into the Eye

by Jennifer Barrett

  Richie smiled over at me again as someone else started to talk about the benefits of animal therapy. I smiled back, then pretended to listen to the discussion, but I honestly didn’t hear a word of it. I couldn’t wait for the meeting to be over, so I could talk to Richie.

  Chapter 27

  RICHARD

  As soon as Jangler mentioned to me at my mother’s funeral that he was thinking of building a retreat centre for young people, I knew I had to get involved. I’d do anything for Jangler of course, but, more than that, I saw it as a way of trying to make my peace with Ben. I was determined the centre would be built, and that it would be the best it could be.

  There was a lot of enthusiasm and support for the idea at the meeting, but it became clear that we had a lot of work to do to get the project off the ground. It was exactly what I needed to take my mind off things.

  Jangler drew the meeting to a close bang on five o’clock as promised.

  “So let’s convene again after Christmas,” he said. “In the meantime, to confirm . . . Alan and Finbar, you are going to progress the survey of other existing projects and facilities for young people . . . Bill and Melanie will speak to their contacts regarding expert mental-health advice.” He looked at Mel. “It would be great if your friend – Katy, wasn’t it? – might consider coming on board.”

  I looked across the table at Mel again. I still couldn’t believe she was there – it was such a coincidence. I probably should have been embarrassed to see her after all of that stuff we’d talked about the previous week, but I wasn’t really. Her email, and then that phone call, had been a real turning point for me. And, all that aside, I’d forgotten just how good she looked. She’d had her black hair cut into a shorter, layered style – it suited her, made her a look a lot softer, not quite as stern. And, even though she was sitting down, I could tell she looked well in the dark green dress that matched her eyes so well.

  “Richard, Peter and Declan will investigate additional sources of finance,” Jangler was saying, “and Edward and I will put our heads together to come up with suggestions for suitable locations for the centre.” He stood up. “Well, thank you very much, everyone. I wish you and yours a peaceful and happy Christmas. I may see some of you down at Ashvale on Monday night for Mass on Christmas Eve, and to everyone else I look forward to seeing you safe and well in the new year.”

  I stood as the meeting broke up.

  “Well, well, well, this is a surprise,” I said across the table to Mel.

  She smiled and was about to say something back when Michael O’Toole came over to me to offer his sympathies. I thanked him and tried to get away as quickly as possible, but by the time I’d extricated myself Mel was talking to Ed.

  “Don’t let that woman leave!” I called over to my brother, then strode around to their side of the table. “I see you’ve met Mel, Ed. This is the whale expert I was telling you about.”

  She laughed. “Hardly an expert.”

  Ed looked at me blankly.

  “Come on – you remember. I told you at the weekend – the girl who saw the whales in Norway? She helped – well, let’s say, she inspired me somewhat in recent weeks.”

  “Oh right,” said Ed, clearly not following what was going on at all.

  I didn’t bother going into it any further, just took Mel by the arm. “It’s great to see you again, Mel. I was going to get in touch soon to arrange for us to meet up.” I stood back and took a good look at all of her. “Of course if I’d remembered how good-looking you were in person, I’d have done it sooner.”

  Ed groaned. “Right, that’s my exit cue. I’ve got to shoot off anyway, Rich – I need to pick up a few presents before driving Jangler back down to Ashvale.”

  Mel started to make a move. “Oh yes, you probably both need to get going – don’t let me keep you.”

  “I don’t have to go,” I said. “Are you staying in town for a while? You don’t fancy grabbing a coffee or a drink now by any chance, do you?”

  “Sure. That’d be great actually. I’ll just go grab my coat.” She left us and went over to the coat stand.

  “Will I get something for Sheila and Derek from both of us as usual?” Ed asked me as he put on his own coat.

  “No, it’s okay, thanks, man. I’m going to go shopping myself this year.”

  He looked surprised, then pleased. “Right so. Are you still coming down to Ashvale on Christmas Eve?”

  “Yes, absolutely. I’m looking forward to seeing your new set-up. I’ll see you there,” I said, and walked over to Mel.

  “So how do you know Jangler?” I asked Mel as we walked over to the Fitzwilliam Hotel.

  “He’s on the board at The Mill,” she said. “I’ve known him for years – he’s a dote.”

  “Is he now? How did I not know he was on the board there?”

  “Those journalistic skills of yours in need of a bit of sharpening up perhaps, Mister Blake? Maybe you were a little too long out there in the Pacific Ocean? Starting to lose the edge, are we?”

  “Don’t even go there, Miss McQuaid!”

  She laughed. “Why do you call him Jangler anyway?”

  “Nothing dubious, I promise you. It’s to do with a big set of keys he used to carry around the school when he taught us.”

  I pushed open the door of the hotel bar. Inside it was already full with Christmas shoppers and office-workers starting on the beer early but, just as we walked in, a group of people stood up to leave the corner booth – their shopping bags alone nearly took up the whole bar.

  “Grab those seats,” I said. “I’ll get the coffees in. Or would you prefer a real drink? I’m on the wagon myself, or I’d join you.”

  “No, no, coffee’s great,” said Mel. “Cappuccino please.”

  “So how’s things at The Mill these days? That ol’ Wright crone and her sidekick still giving you a hard time?” I asked, putting the cups down and sliding into the seat opposite her. “Have you finished raising that fifteen million yet?”

  “Not quite, just a few cents more to go,” she said with a smile. “No, to be honest, work is a hundred times better, thanks. I sorted things out with Marcus and Fenella. Let’s just say we’re all back on a level playing field again. It wasn’t easy, but I got there in the end.”

  I held up my coffee cup. “Most excellent. Cheers to you for sorting that out!”

  “Thanks, Richie,” she said, taking a sip of coffee. Her whole face lit up then. “By the way, I absolutely loved your article last week.” She sat forward in her seat and leant across the table. “It was so interesting to read about life on board the Greenpeace ship. Will you stay in touch with the crew, do you think? That guy Takumi sounded like quite a character, and I can’t believe that couple went on their honeymoon on an anti-whaling expedition! Isn’t the Mister Splashy Pants campaign brilliant? I’ve decided to do a sponsored swim on St Stephen’s Day to raise funds for it. I just can’t believe they’re hunting humpbacks though – it seems crazy!”

  “Whoa! Slow down there – take a breath, girl!”

  She laughed and sat back. “I’m sorry – everyone tells me I’m obsessed by whales at the moment. It’s sad, I know!”

  I shook my head. “Not at all. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of healthy whale obsession every once in a while – I’ve just spent a fortnight in the company of thirty whale enthusiasts. The Illuminar crew will be very impressed to hear of this fundraising idea – so how will that work?”

  And she was off! Mel spent the next five to ten minutes talking about her St Stephen’s Day swim: “My friend Katy is going to do it with me, and the lads from the local rugby club . . . Well, they do it every year just for fun, but this year Katy and me will be joining in – we’re hoping to raise over a thousand euro for the whales. It should be good fun – everyone comes down to the beach in Greystones in Wicklow for St Stephen’s Day morning – Katy’s organising mulled wine, I’m doing mince pies . . .”

  Her face became so animated and her eye
s sparkled as she talked about it all, especially when she talked about the whales. She was definitely a very different woman from the one I first met all those months ago – the one who really needed to chill out and relax. This lady was clearly passionate about the cause, and her enthusiasm was quite infectious. I found listening to her very enjoyable – very enjoyable indeed.

  “So since I started earlier this week I’ve already raised over three hundred euro, so I’m just under a third of the way to my target. Katy’s aiming to raise five hundred and she’s doing really well too. People have been so good at donating, and they’ve sent such lovely messages of support. I’m trying to persuade as many friends and family to come along to help raise awareness of the issue – we’ll collect on the day too. I must remember to organise some buckets for that actually.” She picked up her enormous handbag and started rooting around, eventually pulling out a bulging Filofax and a pen. She made a note, then popped the pen back in the Filofax and took what seemed like her first breath in the last half hour. “Anyway, Richie, enough about me,” she said. “I’ve been going on about myself and whales for so long.”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s great listening to you – all distractions are most welcome at the moment.”

  She smiled – a sympathy smile – I’d got very used to those over the last week or so. “But I haven’t even asked how your mother’s funeral went last week?” she said. “It must have been difficult for you?”

  “Ah yeah, these have been a tough enough few weeks.” I sighed and rubbed my forehead. “It’s been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster – one minute up, next minute down. But I think it’s been good for us all in many ways.”

  “You must be glad to be back talking to Ed now anyway? You seemed to be getting on well there today.”

  “Yeah, still some way to go, but it’s a lot better now. Thanks for your advice on that, by the way. I did what you suggested and just said sorry – it really worked.” I smiled. “I’ll have to keep you around as my special adviser in future.”

  I’d swear she blushed a bit then – cute.

  “He seems happier than I’ve seen him in – well – maybe ever actually.” I paused, then took a breath before going on. “It’s Lucy – my ex – that I’m still worried about. I need to make sure she’s okay – need to try to put things right with her and her family.”

  Mel sat back in her seat. “Yes, of course. Have you been talking to her?”

  “No – she won’t take my calls. I did try to get in touch several times after the lunch that day, but she didn’t want to know.”

  “Maybe you should try again now?”

  “I did – I tried calling her last week after the funeral, but there was no answer. I left a message, but I haven’t heard anything back. Ah – I treated her pretty badly, Mel – she’s well within her rights to blank me.”

  “She’ll come around.”

  “Well, there’s a bit more to it.”

  “Oh?”

  I paused for a minute. I needed Mel to know the full story about how I’d made such a mess of my relationship with Lucy, how I’d disrespected Ben’s family. It wasn’t going to be easy, but I wanted her to know the full truth about me. I definitely wanted to see more of Mel – she needed to have all the information to decide herself whether she wanted to be around me at all.

  “Lucy’s the sister of an old school friend of mine, Ben,” I said. “He was my best friend when I was growing up. He took his own life not long after we left school.”

  “Oh Richie, I’m so sorry. That’s the Ben you mentioned at today’s meeting, isn’t it?”

  I nodded.

  “It must have been awful when he died,” she said. “And so young too – how do you get over something like that?”

  I shook my head. “To be honest, Mel, I’m not sure I ever really did get over it. It was wrong to take up with Lucy as a result.”

  She looked at me for a few seconds, then took another sip of coffee before speaking again. “Do you think perhaps in some way you may have been trying to sabotage the relationship, Richie?” she asked. “I mean, one minute you were with your brother’s girlfriend, the next you were getting engaged to Lucy. And that’s just it – that day when I met you at the lunch, you didn’t exactly come across as a man who’d just got engaged to the love of his life.”

  “Why? Because I was trying to pick you up on top of it all?” I laughed.

  “Aha!” She pointed her finger at me. “So you were trying to pick me up!”

  I smiled. “I don’t know, to be honest, but I had spotted you earlier in the day. So, yes, I guess I may have been.” I sighed. “What does that make me? I mean, Lucy’s a really lovely girl. I liked being with her, and I liked being in a relationship, but we were very different really. And then there was all the pressure to get engaged. I suppose it was a lot to do with her being Ben’s sister, and being around his family, his world, again. I just got lost in it all, and I didn’t want to let her or her family down. But it was never going to work really – I know that now. Lucy and I didn’t even share the same sense of humour. Imagine – she didn’t laugh at my jokes!”

  Mel feigned a look of horror. “Nooo! I find that quite impossible to believe.”

  “I know . . . right?” I smiled. “But look, even I know that there are better ways of ending a relationship than cheating on her one minute, and proposing the next. Let’s just say I could have handled the whole thing better. A lot better.”

  Mel just nodded slowly, then finished her coffee.

  It was hard to know what she was thinking.

  I sincerely hoped I hadn’t said too much. It was probably time to change the subject.

  “But enough about my disastrous love life – what about you?” I asked.

  “You want to know about my disastrous love life?” she said with a smile.

  “Well, I don’t know if it’s disastrous, do I? Maybe you’re blissfully in love now for all I know.”

  She sniffed. “I wish.” She swirled her teaspoon around the foam at the end of her cup.

  “When we first met,” I said. “I got the impression from something you said that there was a bad relationship you had to put behind you?” I knew I was pushing it a bit, but I was genuinely interested. I wanted to know everything about this girl.

  She took a deep breath. “I’ve only really told one other person the full story about Ian before – and that was just a couple of weeks ago.”

  “Oh sorry.” I sat back. “I didn’t mean to pry – you don’t need to say anything.”

  “No, no, actually I’d like to,” she said and leaned in on her elbow. “It’d be good to talk about it. There’s actually been a development in the last week and I’m bursting to tell someone about it. Only I think we might need more coffees?”

  She gestured to the waitress who took our order, and then she told me all about her right idiot of an ex.

  “So I guess I’d been quite stuck for some time – perhaps without even realising it,” she said. “But after meeting Ian recently, and finally getting the chance to say my piece, and then to walk away the bigger person, it feels great. I wish I’d been able to do it years ago.”

  “That’s good to hear,” I said. “I can’t believe that guy though – he had an amazing woman like you and he treated you like that? Some guys just don’t know when they have it good.” Then I thought of Lucy. “I suppose I can’t exactly talk, can I?”

  “It’s not the same,” said Mel, her voice slightly shaky. “You never tried to change her, to take away her spirit, to hurt her physically. God, I was such a fool to put up with it for so long.”

  I reached out to touch the back of her hand, but before I could, her phone buzzed on the table.

  I pulled my hand back. “Looks like you’ve got an admirer there? That’s the third text message you’ve got in the last five minutes. Are you going to go on ignoring him?”

  “Him? No, I don’t think so,” she said. “But I’d better just check it’s n
othing urgent.”

  She picked up the phone.

  “What?” she said after a few seconds, then she looked at me, a puzzled expression on her face.

  “Everything okay?” I asked.

  She looked back down at the phone. “My brother has just texted to ask if I’m cancelling my swim now that the whales are saved, and there’s another one from Katy.” She looked down at the phone and read out the text message: “Great news about the humpbacks, eh?” She looked back up at me, and a huge smile broke out across her face. “Is it off, Richie? Have the Japanese cancelled the hunt? Have you heard anything from the ship?”

  “No, I haven’t heard, but let me call the office.”

  I called the Chronicle’s news desk.

  “Hey, who’s that? Trevor? Richard Blake here. Hi, man. Yes, thanks – we gave her a good send-off. Listen, can you check a story for me, Trev? Japanese whaling in Antarctica – anything about the hunt being called off? Thanks.” I rested the phone down. “He’s just checking it now.”

  I put the phone back to my ear. “What’s that?” I listened intently. “Eh, thanks, man, that’s brilliant. Great news, cheers. Yep, I’ll be back in the office after Christmas. Catch you then.”

  I put down the phone and looked at Mel. “Japan has yielded to international pressure – they’ve cancelled the hunt on the fifty humpback whales.”

  She put her head down in her hands for a few seconds, then looked back up at me – her eyes had watered up. If the damn table wasn’t in the way I would have reached over to hug her.

  “So there you have it,” I said. “It seems the humpbacks of Antarctica will be safe for at least one more year.”

  “Woooohoooo!” she shouted and punched the air with her fist.

  The whole bar stopped talking and turned to look over at us, but I didn’t give a shit – the girl looked like her team had just won the Cup and the League in one go.