Look into the Eye

by Jennifer Barrett

  I sighed.

  Maybe that wasn’t it at all though. He could have just wanted to be friends? He’d never really said otherwise anyway – it was probably all just my overactive imagination – thinking there was more to it than there was. It was Katy’s and Nichola’s fault for spurring me on. After all, Richie was a born flirt – all the innuendo and talk probably meant nothing to him.

  I slumped back in the kitchen chair – surprised by how disappointed I felt.

  Oh well, it’s probably for the best anyway, I thought.

  The last thing I needed right then was a man in my life. It was time to get a grip and focus back on what was important – a nice Christmas break in Greystones with the family, and my swim for the whales on St Stephen’s Day. After that, I thought I might even start looking at some travel ideas – a long break away from The Mill the following year was beginning to look like a very attractive option.

  I glanced at Richie’s email on the screen.

  Away from The Mill, and away from all this.

  At least he’d sponsored me for the swim – Richie’s hundred euro would take me up past my target.

  Argh! Stop thinking about him already! I snapped the laptop shut and went up to bed.

  It snowed on St Stephen’s Day – not a lot of snow, but enough to fill Katy and me with sufficient dread at the prospect of swimming in the sea. I wasn’t looking forward to the cold water, but I was looking forward to the fun with the family on Greystones beach.

  The beach was very busy – cars lined the street on the hill above, and onlookers leaned over the railings to see what mad fools were going swimming in such freezing cold weather. My nephew Austin and a couple of my brothers were tossing a rugby ball around on the pebbly beach, and a big group of lads from the rugby club were getting ready nearby. We swimmers were due to make a dash for the water at noon, and with just fifteen minutes to go there was a great buzz about the place – everyone was laughing and enjoying the Christmas spirit.

  “Have a swig of this, girls – it’ll warm you up before you get in,” said Frank as Katy and I finished changing by the steps.

  We each took a paper cup full of steaming mulled wine.

  “What do you think, Mel?” Frank had put on a baseball cap with a stuffed whale of sorts attached to the top.

  I laughed. “Yes, suits you, Frank. Very Save-the-Whale!”

  He pulled a daft face. Then he peered behind me up the steps. “Hey, isn’t that Ed Blake’s brother?” he said, taking off the cap.

  I swung around and looked up.

  “You might be needing this later,” Richie said when he reached us at the bottom of the steps. He held out a white, woolly hat.

  My white, woolly hat.

  “Thanks,” I said, taking it from him and promptly feeling my cheeks flare up.

  What was it about this guy? Why did I turn into a complete idiot whenever he was around? And why the heck was he around anyway?

  “I, eh, wondered where that had got to,” I managed to say.

  “Richie Blake, isn’t it?” said Frank. “I know your brother Ed from college.”

  “One and the same,” said Richie. “Good to see you again, Frank. I remember you were on my brother’s table at that lunch back in May.”

  I stood there in my little towel just watching as Richie, Frank and Katy became reacquainted.

  “I liked those whale articles you wrote in The Irish Chronicle,” Frank was saying. He nodded to me then. “Mel here liked them too – she must have read the last one at least ten times over. What was it you said again Mel? Something like they were the most moving pieces you’d ever read?”

  Ground.

  Please.

  Open.

  Richie grinned from ear to ear.

  “Frank!” Katy poked her fiancé in the stomach to try to shut him up.

  “What?” said Frank, looking all hurt.

  Katy frowned at him, then turned to Richie. “So what are you doing in Greystones on St Stephen’s Day, Richie?” she asked.

  “Ah, I was just in the neighbourhood, so I thought I’d swing by and make sure you girls didn’t chicken out of this swim.” He gave me one of those annoyingly cute grins.

  I pulled my towel tighter around myself, wishing to God I’d brought one of the bigger bath sheets. “Don’t worry, Mister Blake,” I said. “We’ll make sure you donors get your money’s worth.”

  “I should hope so, Miss McQuaid. I would expect nothing less.”

  We smiled at each other.

  Katy coughed, reminding me where we were. “All right, Frank,” she said. “Let’s grab the gear and take it down a bit nearer to the sea. We’ll need it as close as possible for when we get out.” She raised her eyebrows and smiled at me as she turned to go. “See you down there, Mel?”

  “Yes, I’ll be down in a second.”

  Katy and Frank gathered up the gear and walked away.

  “Alone at last,” said Richie. “Although I think we may have an audience there?” He nodded behind me.

  I looked over my shoulder to see my parents and my sister Nichola all watching us, each of them smiling broadly. I glared at them – and they got the message, quickly turning away.

  I looked back to Richie. “Sorry about that, it seems my father hasn’t given up hopes of packaging me off to the right man with a couple of heads of cattle and a few sheep. I haven’t the heart to tell him you’re a lowly journalist with no grazing land.”

  He raised his eyebrows.

  “Not that you and me . . .” I said.

  I needed to get myself together. We were just friends – I needed to remember that. There was nothing to be getting flustered about.

  “Come on, Mel!” Katy shouted up to me. “It’s time.”

  “You’d better go,” said Richie. “I’ll be watching remember? We want to see a nice, long, cold swim.”

  I smiled, turned and ran down the beach to join Katy while pulling my small towel down to cover the backs of my bare thighs.

  “I can’t believe he came today to see your swim, Mel,” said Katy when I got to her. “Very impressive. And there seems to be a major spark between you two – look at you, all smiley and blushing.” She poked me in my side as I threw my towel off.

  “Hey, stop that! I’m not blushing – it’s just the cold. Richie and I are friends – that’s all. It was nice of him to come today to lend some moral support – but he’s back with his ex.”

  “Ah pity,” said Katy. “Oh well, nice of him to come to support you anyway.”

  “Mmm.” I glanced back up at the steps.

  “Ladies and gentlemen!” shouted the man with the starting pistol. “Please get ready to go!”

  We lined up on the stony beach with the other swimmers, all of us just about five metres back from the shore. I was already freezing just standing there in my bathing suit, but I tried to block out the thought of how cold the next few minutes would be. The rugby players and other swimmers laughed and chattered excitedly, and the noise level was so high that Katy and I had to shout to hear each other.

  “Good luck, Mel!” she said. “This is for the whales!”

  “Absolutely. For the whales!”

  The countdown started, and silence descended.

  “Ten . . . nine . . . eight . . . seven . . . six . . . five . . .”

  “Let’s do this!” I shouted.

  “. . . four . . . three . . . two . . . one!

  Bang!

  There was a charge for the sea. Holding hands, Katy and I tip-toed as fast as we could in our bare feet over the pebbles. We were a bit behind the guys, so their cries warned us of what was to come.

  “Waah! It’s freezing!” Katy shouted out as the first small wave washed over our feet.

  The cold water took my breath away, but I just kept going. “Don’t stop!” I shouted as I hopped through the low icy waves. “Don’t think about it! Just let’s keep going!”

  As soon as we’d got out to deeper water I took a deep breath, le
t go of Katy’s hand and dived into a wave.

  I quickly jumped right back up. “Whoa! That is coooold!”

  Katy screamed too as she ducked below the waves. Once we got used to the extreme cold though it wasn’t too bad and we managed to stay in the water for at least ten minutes before emerging shivering onto the beach. My mother and Nichola met us at the water’s edge with our towels and flip-flops.

  “Thanks, Mum.” I wrapped my towel around me as I shivered beside her. I slipped my flip-flops on, then glanced over at Richie and Frank who were standing a few feet away chatting. Ah – that’s nice that the two guys are getting on, I thought.

  Richie caught my eye then and mouthed the words: ‘Well done.’

  I smiled at him.

  Then I gave myself a shake. All right, enough of this, McQuaid! You need to re-state your boundaries here quite clearly, so there’s no room for misunderstanding – both you and Richie need to agree where you stand. No way can you go getting into any complicated love triangles. Friends is okay, friends is good even, but that’s it.

  I quickly got dressed in my warm fleece and tracksuit bottoms, then went over to join Richie and Frank.

  Chapter 31

  RICHARD

  Christmas had been tough – no doubt about that. It had been very strange not having my mother around. I’d been at odds with her, or complaining about her for so many years that I never realised just how much I loved her, or how much I’d miss her when she was gone.

  So yes, Christmas had been very sad. We’d all felt my mother’s absence and the day was quite subdued as a result. By the time St Stephen’s Day had come around I badly needed to get away, to get some time to myself. I’d left Sheila and Derek’s place quite early to go down to Wicklow to check out my mother’s old family house.

  I couldn’t believe the place when I saw it. It was big, and structurally it was sound enough, but inside it was a wreck. It hadn’t been lived in for years and was going to take some amount of work to restore. And it was also a lot further down the coast than I’d expected. The setting was pretty incredible, but the location itself was quite remote – it was a good drive out from the nearest town of Wicklow. Ed and I would have to think long and hard about what to do with the place. It’d cost us a fortune to do it up to sell. I figured that maybe we could just sell it off for the land.

  I checked the clock on my car as I drove into Greystones.

  Excellent, just enough time to catch Mel’s swim, I thought.

  Despite everything else that had been going on, I’d thought about Mel a lot over the few days since we’d met again. So much so that I’d decided to just go for it – ask her out. She’d more or less asked me out in her email anyway, so I reckoned she’d be on for it. I didn’t want to ask her out in an email though – so I went to Greystones to do it in person.

  I’d asked a lot of girls out in my time, and it would be fair to say that my success rate was quite high, but this time was different. I was so damned nervous that it took me three attempts to get the car into a parking space on the road – not cool.

  Mel had seemed a little on edge with me when she first saw me – she’d stood back and let Ed’s friend Frank and his fiancée do most of the talking. I liked the way she always looked so flushed when I met her though – as if she’d just been doing something illicit.

  I smiled as I watched her run off down the beach for the swim, pulling at her skimpy towel as she ran.

  I joined Frank then, and we watched Mel and his fiancée brave the Irish Sea.

  Mel came over to us afterwards. “Well, what did you think?” she asked.

  “Great stuff! Well done, Mel,” Frank said.

  “You pair certainly have given us good value for money,” I said. “But the fellas hardly even got their hair wet.”

  “We aim to please,” she said, with a smile.

  “Was it cold?” asked Frank.

  “Eh, yeah,” Mel said.

  “All right,” said Frank, “I know when I’m not wanted. I’d better go congratulate herself anyway.”

  Frank walked off in Katy’s direction, but appeared to get waylaid en route by the game of touch rugby that had started up again on the beach. I wouldn’t have minded getting in on the game myself, but I had a job to do first.

  I looked back at Mel.

  “So how was your Christmas?” she asked, before I could say anything.

  “It was okay, thanks. I only got back from Clifden on Christmas Eve. We all went to Mass down at Ashvale then, and we had Christmas Day and night at my aunt’s.”

  “Sounds good.” Mel drew on the sand with her big toe. “You mentioned Lucy got in touch – that’s great that you got to see her in Clifden.” She looked up. “In fact, there’s something I want to –”

  But just at that moment a rugby ball seemed to come from nowhere, hitting me hard on my right upper arm.

  “Hey, you lot!” shouted Mel over her shoulder. “Be careful where you’re throwing that thing!”

  “Sorry, Auntie Mel!” shouted the teenager, running towards us.

  “No worries, man,” I said, throwing him the ball. “That was a good toss actually.”

  The kid looked pleased.

  “That’s Austin, and the rest of the men of the family,” said Mel. “They do love their rugby.”

  I watched them pass the ball.

  “Y’know, watching your nephew and the lads there reminds me a lot of when I used to toss a rugby ball around at Ashvale with Ben,” I said. “We were only a few years older than young Austin there when he died.” I stared at the lad for a few seconds.

  “Actually, Richie, I wanted to talk to you about Lucy –”

  “Hang on,” I interrupted her. “That’s it! I’ve just had the most excellent idea, Miss McQuaid – even if I do say so myself.”

  “What is it?”

  I caught her by the elbow. “Are you free tomorrow?”

  She looked a bit flustered. “Yes, but, Richie, I don’t think it’s a good idea to –”

  But I couldn’t delay to hear her out – this was too good an idea to allow to go cold. I wanted to act on it straight away. “I’ll pick you up about lunchtime,” I said, leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

  She just stood there staring at me.

  “Oh, hold on –” I turned back and took out my phone, “I’d better take your number this time – I’ve run out of those woolly Cinderella hats!”

  Chapter 32

  MELANIE

  I took my parents’ beloved black-and-white spaniel, Harvey and two of the kennel dogs, Oscar and Sam, for a long walk down Brittas Bay beach early the next morning to try to clear my head. Just before we got to the end I let them off their leads and threw a stick for them. I gazed out to sea as they dived into the water to fetch it. But as I watched the three paddling resolutely through the waves for first prize, all I could think about was Richie. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, in fact. It was all extremely annoying.

  He’d said it himself: everything had gone great with Lucy. So why had I agreed to meet him again so soon?

  I looked at my watch. Somehow or other, we were due to meet again in less than an hour’s time.

  I should have tried harder to talk to him about it. I should have tried harder to find out what he was thinking. I groaned. It was all so bloomin’ frustrating.

  I picked up the stick from where Harvey had dropped it at the water’s edge. I had to jump back quickly as Harvey, Oscar the small poodle-terrier mix and Sam the big black-and-tan shaggy mongrel shook themselves dry. Three pairs of eager eyes stared back up expectantly at me, as three happy tails wagged furiously. I obliged them with another throw, then sat down on the sand to wait as they battled through the waves again.

  I should never have encouraged him to sort things out with Lucy. Now look what had happened.

  I sighed. I should have been happy for him really. I knew I should – that’s what a real friend would be. It was just that everything was so eas
y with Richie – he was so easy to talk to and I could really just be myself with him. I’d never been with anyone like that before.

  I picked up a big pebble and flung it in the water, narrowly missing Oscar who’d given up on the stick and was on his way back. He looked at me, offended.

  “Sorry, Oscar!”

  He started to wag his little tail, before bounding over towards me. I jumped up before he could land on top of me with his wet paws.

  “If only all males could be so uncomplicated,” I said as I petted him. “No trouble understanding what you’re thinking, eh, little fella?”

  Oscar just looked up at me with his big happy eyes, tongue hanging out, tail wagging. He gave me a few seconds of quality time before bounding off to rejoin the other two who were just emerging triumphantly from the water, each holding either end of the stick. I laughed as I let them shake themselves dry again, then I put them all back on their leads and turned to walk back to the car park.

  Oh well, I thought, maybe nothing can happen between Richie and me, but at least we can be friends.

  I could do that. I was sure I could.

  And everything else aside, I was dying to know what his idea was all about.

  My mother beat me to the door when Richie arrived to collect me at my parents’ house.

  “Mum, this is Richie Blake – he’s the journalist from The Irish Chronicle I told you about,” I said, introducing them.“You know – the one who wrote those articles about the whales?”

  “Oh yes, of course, of course,” said Mum. “I think I saw you down at the beach yesterday. How lovely to meet you! Very good of you to come to see Melanie swim. And again today? How nice!” She was literally beaming at Richie.

  “Well, I was in the area yesterday so it wasn’t any trouble,” said Richie. He looked a little embarrassed, which I found quite amusing.

  “Won’t you come in?” Mum stood aside.

  “I would love to, Mrs McQuaid, but I need to steal your daughter away as soon as possible. I have something very important to show her.” He looked at me. “Maybe we could pop in when we get back?”