by Sarah Black
Mia stirred the soup, then added some chopped parsley. “That reminds me. Tell me about this camp-out that got you two kicked out of Boy Scouts.”
Russ laughed. “There were too many stories around the campfire about scouts lost and never heard from again, eaten by bears and lions, stalked and dismembered by axe-wielding lunatics. Kevin was scared, and then he was mad because he was scared. So he climbed into my sleeping bag with me. We had always slept in the same bed when we had sleepovers, so it didn’t seem like a big deal to us. But some of the other boys went and got the Scoutmaster. He got everybody up, gave us this talk about choosing to be men and not fags. That would have been fine, if he’d left it at that, but then he adds this little bit about our dads being Marines, and being gone all the time. How we didn’t have enough male influence. Which reminded Kevin that this Scoutmaster was known to come sniffing around his mother when the unit was deployed. We waited ’till everybody went back to sleep, then we started walking home.”
“What, in the middle of the night?”
“Yeah. We had on our jackets, and I had a little backpack with some water and a couple of hot dogs in Baggies. But we got lost in the dark. The cops found us the next day about noon. Mothers hysterical, you can imagine.”
Mia was smiling, picturing the two of them marching off into the woods.
“To this day Kevin claims we were in the right. I still think we could have waited until dawn, then we wouldn’t have been lost. We were only two miles from home.”
“Lost in the woods. I’ve felt lost in the woods. My art, too. I think it isn’t this place, Russ. It isn’t the Navajo, or the isolation of the reservation. It’s me.”
“Mia, what do you mean? I don’t understand. You seem so warm, so open to life.”
“I haven’t been. I’ll tell you what scares me, Russ. I’ve walled myself off, and I’ve blamed everyone else except myself. I can hear this echo of my mother’s voice in my head: Don’t take a chance. Don’t risk too much, in case you lose. Protect yourself. Play it safe. And my art has just crumbled into dust.” She took a deep breath. “But that’s really a cop-out. I’m a little old to still blame my mother for what I decide to do, you know? You guys, you may seem like a big risk, Russ, and I know you think it’s dangerous for us to come out, and be open about who we are, but you and Kevin? I think you’ve saved me.” Mia shook her head. “Would you listen to me? I think there’s a bunch of bluebirds following me around, holding puffy red hearts and ribbons in their beaks!”
Russ laughed. “Hey, I got some of those bluebirds here, too. They must have followed me home. We’re falling in love. But we can’t be reckless. Don’t open up all of yourself to the world. People will never understand what is going on between the three of us, and I don’t want you hurt because you love us.”
She felt her heart swell a little at his words, at the idea of someone caring about her, caring enough to worry. “I do love you, Russ. Give him a hug for me when he gets in.” After she hung up the phone, Mia divided the soup into containers, double servings, and put them in the freezer.
Mia picked up the ringing phone Friday afternoon, just before she was ready to leave for Flagstaff. It would be the first time she had been to their apartment, and she had a bottle of 409 cleaner and a roll of paper towels, as well as her overnight bag.
“Mia? Are you ready to take a break from that dreary place? Come have lunch with me tomorrow. There’s a new restaurant in Farmington I want to try. But you’ll have to put on a skirt, or at least some decent slacks. It’s a nice place, and jeans won’t be appropriate. Oh, you won’t believe this! I saw a woman in Red Lobster wearing old sweatpants and a tee shirt!”
“Mom, I can’t come into Farmington. Sorry to miss ...”
“Why not? It’s not like there is anything happening out on that reservation of yours, is there? You don’t have a date, do you?”
“Well, sort of. I’m going into Flagstaff to see some friends of mine. Artist friends at NAU.”
“That’s nice you’re finally making some friends, Mia. So, is this a new boyfriend?”
“Well ...”
“Artists.” Mia could picture her shaking her head. “They’re fine to date, Mia, but you want someone a little more stable for the long term. I’ve about despaired of you ever getting serious with anyone. If you would just put yourself forward a bit. You know, make more of an effort.”
An image flashed into Mia’s mind, of her on her hands and knees on her bed, Russ pounding into her from behind, Kevin’s hands moving all over her. Her mouth went very dry, and she felt a bolt of heat down into her pelvis. She thought she was putting herself forward plenty.
“So, what’s his name?”
“Ah ...”
“Oh, dear Lord. It is a he, isn’t it? You haven’t suddenly decided to become a lesbian, have you? That was popular for a while, with a certain independent sort of career woman, but I hardly think ...”
“No, Mom. I’m not a lesbian.” Silence over the phone, and Mia could see her mother tapping her Ferragamo flats, waiting for a reply. Mia felt the warmth in her stomach shrivel up, a cold gray blanket of leaden despair settle around her shoulders. She could never explain this. It was impossible, the whole thing. She didn’t even know the words to describe them. Was there a special threesome vocabulary? If there was, she certainly didn’t know it, and neither did her mother.
“Listen, it’s not like that, Mom. They’re friends. Acquaintances, really. I’d love to go out with you, but it’s too late to change plans now. Maybe another time?”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time.” Her voice did not sound particularly warm.
Oh, Russ. Kevin. I’ve got the backbone of a wet noodle. You guys need a stronger woman than me.
They had a little apartment downtown over Babbit’s, the camping supply store. Kevin met her at the door with a dishtowel over his shoulder and a book in his hand. Cormac McCarthy, The Road. She kissed him, then looked at the book. “Is that the new one?” He nodded. “Let me read it when you’re done, okay?”
He took her bag and closed the door. The apartment was small and charming, with big windows that looked out onto the street and deep window seats.
He put his arms around her and nuzzled her neck. “I cleaned the bathroom just for you.”
She laughed and hugged him back. “And on your way in to clean the kitchen you saw a book?”
He nodded, his mouth working its way down her neck.
“It’s great to see you, Kevin.” She felt a clutch in her stomach ‑‑ it was happiness or lust. She couldn’t help running her hands over his hair.
He tugged her by the hand into the bedroom. “Come on, Mia. We’ve got some time before we’re meeting Russ for supper. Let’s fool around.” He was unbuttoning her shirt, pushing it off her shoulders. “Let’s get it on, baby. Do the horizontal mamba.” His hands were busy now at the waistband of her jeans, and he was singing a country song against her mouth. “Let’s make loooove, all night loooong.”
She sighed and leaned into his arms, leaned into his kiss. To have someone who wanted her was extraordinary enough, but Kevin was beautiful, talented, passionate. She felt a little like she had fallen through the rabbit-hole. His mouth was against hers, his hands were sliding down over her hips, pulling her close. She was getting as warm and liquid inside as a marshmallow on a twig over a campfire. This reminded her of Russ’s story about Boy Scout camp. She started laughing against his mouth, wrapped her arms hard around him in a hug. “Russ told me about Scout camp,” she said. His hands were roaming up and down her back, sliding under the elastic waistband of her underwear.
“Those dickheads. I’d do the same thing today, I swear I would. Come on, Mia.” He took her hand and pulled her toward the bed. They had a big, king-sized bed, with a blanket spread neatly over the top.
Mia pulled his sweatshirt up and over his head, and he reached up and took the elastic band from his hair. The hair spilled over his shoulders and acro
ss his face. She reached for him, slid her hands through it. “Oh, Kevin.”
He was moaning against her mouth, pressing against her. She undid the button on his jeans and slid the zipper down. His cock had been straining against his jeans, but it sprang out, unconfined by underwear. The dark pink head found its way straight into her hand. She wrapped her fingers around him and squeezed gently. He was humming against her mouth.
“Tell me what you want, Kevin.”
He raised his head and looked down at her. “Let’s make love the old-fashioned way. Face to face, so I can look into your pretty eyes. And we can French kiss while I’m inside you.” He kissed her mouth gently. “That’s what I’d like.”
She could hardly speak. Desire and longing and love wrapped around her chest like a vise. She nodded and kicked off her shoes.
His hands were hard and calloused, the way potter’s hands were hard, but they touched her as if she was precious to him. He leaned up on an elbow and studied her body stretched out beneath him. His blue eyes were serious. “Are we pushing you too hard, Mia?”
She gave this a little thought. He obviously cared about the answer. They were moving fast. It hadn’t even been a month, and they were talking about love, forever, babies. “No. I’m a little suspicious of being so happy, but I think that’s me, not you.”
He stroked the hair back from her forehead. “How do you mean?”
“It’s just so great being with you, with both of you. I’m afraid of it. Afraid it won’t last. Afraid that you’ll get tired of me, or that something disastrous will happen. I can’t imagine what, but I just feel a little scared of so much happiness.”
“I don’t,” he said. “I think we’re supposed to be this happy.” He kissed the corner of her mouth, moved down her neck, across her collarbone. His hand was full of her breast, and she could feel the full, heavy length of his cock against her thigh. He kissed her slower. His thumb moved gently back and forth across her nipple. For a moment she was so ready for him, desire crawling across her skin like ants, that she nearly screamed with impatience. She wanted him to plunge roughly between her legs, stroke her hard and fast, over and over, until he tipped her over the edge.
He was laughing against her skin. “What’s your rush, lady? Got a date later? I’ll tell you what I’ll do for you.” He slid down between her legs and pulled her thighs up and out until they were resting on his shoulders. He stroked one long finger down over her and her body opened, palpitating and hungry. He smiled as he looked into her, and put his mouth over her clitoris. He sucked it between his lips and slid his finger deep inside her.
She stuffed her fist in her mouth and bit down as the orgasm punched her in the gut. She was moving her hips against his mouth, eyes tightly shut, and he was holding her against his busy tongue and busy lips.
“There, now,” he murmured, mouth still between her legs. “How’s that, darling? Better? Can you wait a little longer to get fucked?”
“Who are you talking to?” she asked, dragging her fist out of her mouth.
“Just my little friend,” he said, stroking the hair between her legs like she was a kitten. “Just my little pet.”
She put her hands over her face and laughed. “Get up here, you lunatic.”
He bounded up and pulled her hands away, kissed her on the mouth. She could taste herself on his tongue, and then she couldn’t wait any longer. She opened her legs to him and moved against him. “Please, Kevin.”
He lifted her hips and plunged deep inside, one nice easy thrust. She was dripping wet and he slid in deep, then braced his feet against the footboard of the bed and pushed in harder. One hand was full of breast, and the other snaked down over her belly and slid into the hair until he reached her clitoris. His rough finger pressed against her, moving just a little as he thrust into her, the lightest touch, barely moving. And when he kissed her with his mouth wide open, she sucked his tongue into her mouth and let him take her over again.
Kevin was drowsing against her neck, his body still moving inside hers. Golden afternoon sunshine spilled across the bed, and he was warm, and filling her. She pulled the blanket up until it covered his shoulders, then closed her eyes and fell asleep.
* * * * *
Russ sat down on the side of the bed an hour later, leaned over and kissed her forehead. He put his hand on Kevin’s head and stroked his hair. “My sleeping beauties.”
Kevin yawned and nuzzled into her neck again. “We need you in here, big guy.”
Mia nodded and reached a hand out for him. “Russ, we have time? Climb on in.”
He stood up and pulled his sweatshirt over his head. Mia admired his broad chest and the dark brown hair trailing down into his jeans.
Kevin reached for her breast. “Mia, I didn’t use a condom. I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t do it on purpose.”
Russ sat down on the side of the bed. “You did what? Kevin, what ...”
Kevin glanced over at him. “Russ, I just didn’t think.”
“He’s been obsessing about babies all week, Mia.”
“I promise I didn’t do it on purpose, Mia. I’ll wait ’till you say it’s okay.”
“I know, Kevin. I was in this bed with you, remember.”
“So that’s why Russ needs to get in here and climb between your legs, and, you know, get his shot at the sperm sweepstakes.”
She pulled the pillow out from behind her head and whacked him on the head. “The what? The sperm what?”
He cowered, laughing, covering his head with his hands. She whacked him a couple of more times for good measure, then he climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom.
Russ looked at her. He still had his jeans on, sitting on the side of the bed. “Russ, don’t worry.” He moved his hand down over her body, let his big hand rest over her belly. “No, Russ. I mean don’t worry. You aren’t the only grown-up in this family. You don’t have to worry for all of us.” She put her hand over his chest, over his heart. “There are three of us. We can share the load.”
“Mia ...”
“Climb in here with me, Russ. My arms are feeling lonely for you.”
“The Thai place is just across the street,” Kevin said. “Ready for some dumplings, Mia?”
She nodded from the closet. A few empty coat hangers hung from the rack. A pile of jeans, flannel shirts, cargo shorts and sweatshirts buried the shoes and boots at the bottom. This mess needed organizing, but it would have to wait for the dumplings.
Russ was lying across the bed, his head buried in the pillows, mumbling like a sleepy bear. Kevin reached for the blanket and pulled it off him. “Russ can sleep for eighteen hours a day, Mia. I keep telling him I want him to get his thyroid checked.”
Mia leaned over the bed and kissed a big shoulder, and Russ pulled her down into his arms. He wrapped his legs around her and rolled her over until she was nestled in the pillows. He leaned in, rubbed his soft beard and curls across her neck. “Kev, go get some take-out dumplings.”
Kevin reached over and slapped him on the ass. “Get up! I told Luke and Rafe we would come for supper.”
The bed smelled like them, and her, too. It was really very tempting to just snuggle in and let them keep her here in bed and feed her Thai dumplings. Russ groaned and stretched. Mia patted his big, hairy chest, feeling the rumble beneath her hands. Finally, he flopped over and sighed, and Mia scrambled out of bed.
Kevin took Russ by the wrist and started pulling. “You should have seen him when we were teenagers, Mia. Sometimes I’d have to get him out of bed for school just like this.”
The Thai restaurant was their favorite hang-out. They went to the table in the corner and scooted her in between them. The waiter brought them Thai coffee, thick with cream, and then gave Mia a little bow. “Is this her?”
Russ nodded and put his hand on her thigh under the table. “Mia, this is Luke. He’s a potter, too. In our year.”
“Potter, lover, builder, and waiter, in that order,” the man said. He had silky bl
ack hair and an angular, pale face, like an Asian Abe Lincoln. He accent was pure Mississippi delta, though.
She suddenly remembered his name. “You helped build the cabin!”
“Yeah, I did,” he agreed. “You like it?”
“I love it,” Mia said.
“She was measuring the windows, Luke,” Kevin said. “I think we’re going to have curtains.”
There was a loud crash from the kitchen. Luke turned that way, then pulled a chair up to the table. “Raphael’s in the kitchen. I don’t even want to go back there. Guys, you sure you don’t mind if we buy that land next door to you? ’Cause we finally got the money together.”
“That’s awesome, man. Congratulations.” Russ clapped him on the shoulder, and Kevin nodded.
“We’ll be like a community of artists, Luke. It won’t be lonely in the mountains if we’ve got more than one family,” Kevin said.
“Just let us know when you guys are ready to build your studio and cabin. Come stay with us while we’re building.”
A young guy in a chef’s hat stuck his head out the kitchen door and yelled, “Luke! Where the hell are you?”
Luke turned around, then scooted his chair back from the table and stood. “Back to the salt mines. That’s the love of my life, by the way, Mia. Not some cleaver-wielding lunatic. Well, not just some cleaver-wielding lunatic, I should say. You guys want the usual?” Russ nodded. “Mia, how about you?”
“Dumplings and a salad?”
Luke nodded. “Is that all, Mia?” Russ asked.
“If I’m still hungry, I’ll take a bite of yours.”
“She’s going to have you eating healthy and living long,” Luke said, grinning at them.
“Probably the neighbors, too,” Kevin said. Luke popped his eyes at them in alarm, then grinned and went back to the kitchen.