Slow Fires with bonus story Alligators & Orgasms

by Sarah Black

  “Sandy,” he said, moving his bowl aside and taking my hand. “Is there any diabetes in your family?”

  “What? No. What are you talking about?”

  He set his jaw. “Just tell me, baby. I want to know. Why can’t you have orgasms anymore?”

  “I have orgasms,” I said. “Lots of them. Big ones, too.”

  “Really? What do you need me to do? Just name it. I’ll do anything.” He was still holding my hand, looking at me with those big browns.

  “You can turn yourself into a giant electric vibrator.”

  He dropped my hand. “Oh, my God! You’ve masturbated so much with the vibrator you can’t ...”

  “David. David, chill out. I was just joking.” He looked a little pale.

  “Something did happen,” I admitted. “Right after you dumped me in college and went into the Army.”

  “Sandy, I didn’t dump you. I told you, I was trying to protect you. Never mind, that’s ancient history, water under the bridge.”

  “It was an alligator. On the Blackwater River. I was just floating along on my raft, happy and safe.” His eyes were glued to my face. He believed every word!

  “So I was trailing my hand in the water, and I touched a tree branch floating there. I looked over. The branch floated up next to my face.”

  He scooted his chair closer. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here. What happened next?”

  “I looked over, and two little knots on the branch rolled up and looked at me. They were cold, green, reptilian eyes. Then the mouth opened. Double rows of pointed yellow teeth and breath like hell rotting. It was three inches from my face at the most. The alligator turned toward me and opened his mouth, ready to bite.”

  “How did you get away? Baby, did he hurt you?”

  I shrugged and sat back in my chair. “That’s all I remember. When I woke up I was on the river bank, drenched but in one piece.”

  He fell back into his chair. “I knew it! I knew there had to be some sort of sexual trauma. The website I looked at said sexual dysfunction was the result of gender role something or other, something about power in relationships, unresolved anger, all that psycho-bullshit.”

  I stared at him, my mouth open. Just for a second I was tempted to explicate.

  “Baby, the alligator, it didn’t touch you?” His eyes darted in alarm to my breasts. “Your bathing suit wasn’t ... disarranged in any way?”

  I shoved a fist into my mouth to keep from giggling. I shook my head. “The alligator did not,” I assured him, “sexually assault me in any way.”

  “This is what I needed to know.” He stood up and came around the table, kissing me on the cheek. “I can’t do anything about gender power whatsit. But I will deal with your alligator phobia. Count on it.”

  * * * * *

  David: I knew it had to be something like that. Probably the shock of nearly being eaten made her feel like she wasn’t safe. She needed me to turn on that safety button again.

  I felt great. Powerful. She needed me. She trusted me with her secret. Back in college, after I told her I was going into the Army and I didn’t want her to wait for me, she pulled back, wouldn’t talk to me at all. Wouldn’t tell me how she was feeling. I hated doing it, but there was a freaking war on. I mean, I really didn’t think I was coming back. Lots of guys weren’t coming back.

  She was the kind of girl who would have mourned me forever. She had a heart as big as a mountain, but she had chiseled my name on it when she was a kid. I don’t think she ever even had another boyfriend. I wanted her to have a happy life without me, in case I didn’t make it. But she thought it was a repeat of that high school business. It’s not healthy the way women don’t forget anything, ever.

  Okay, now we need a plan. What to do? Erase the fear of alligators. Once I do that, she feels safe again, and we are back cruising on Shag Highway

  . What to do? An alligator bag? She doesn’t carry a purse. I better do some thinking.

  The Internet was going to save me. Alligator cowboy boots. Looks like we’ve got a winner. One week only, Internet special, black crocodile cowboy boots for one hundred ninety-nine dollars, and ninety-nine cents, shipping included. Okay, so they were crocodile and not alligator, but they should do. I whipped out my Visa and tapped in the number.

  * * * * *

  Sandy: He was so pleased with himself I knew he was up to something. The man did not have a deceptive bone in his body. That was a point in his favor. I also found it sort of sweet, the way his blond head was to be found glued to the computer, studying web sites on female sexual dysfunction. He gave me a thorough and detailed examination, pressing various parts and asking me if anything hurt. He also spent hours snuggled up, making slow, sweet love to my hand, my face, my neck, my breasts. Whoever put that information on the Internet was a genius. But I knew something big was coming.

  He showed up at my door with a pair of black alligator cowboy boots and a massive hard-on.

  “Look, baby,” he said, taking my hand and running it over the nobbly surface of the boots. “This could be the very alligator that scared you. I wish I could have knocked him on the head myself and turned him into a pair of boots for you.”

  So much love and hope were shining in his handsome face. I felt my heart swell just a little. “Thanks, David. I love them.”

  “Okay,” he said, taking my coat off my shoulders. “Put your car keys and briefcase down, and let’s take those puppies out for a run.”

  He had me stripped down to my underwear in no time at all. His hands were shaking a little, his mouth everywhere. Desperation was an outstanding characteristic in a man.

  “Get undressed,” I told him, skinning off my underwear. I slid my feet into the boots. Clothes were flying all over the room. I think he popped a few buttons tearing his shirt off.

  I climbed up on the bed and watched him hop around on one foot, pulling off his socks and boxers. God, he was huge. He looked like he was ready to explode.

  I got on my hands and knees and patted my hip. “Come on, Cowboy,” I said over my shoulder. “Take me for a ride.”

  In his enthusiasm he nearly slammed my head into the wall. He had me around the hips, pounding into me with a desperation that spoke volumes to how he felt about all that hugging and kissing we had been doing all week. He didn’t last two minutes. The noise he made when he came I swear didn’t come out of a human throat.

  * * * * *

  David: Oh, shit! I blew it! She was the Promised Land, and I had been wandering, lost and dying of thirst, for too long. Those boots were hot, but when she got on her hands and knees and pushed her pretty butt toward me, I just lost it, man. I don’t even remember what happened next. I just felt my head explode.

  What a selfish prick I am. I pulled out of her, and she rolled over to her back and held out her arms. I snuggled in. It would have been what I deserved if she just lay there, stiff, an ice goddess, her heart frozen, her pussy locked away from me forever.

  She wasn’t pissed, she was laughing. I stared down at her, then hid my face in her neck. Women were a freaking mystery, man, and she was the biggest mystery of all. It would take me a lifetime of careful digging to unearth her secrets.

  She stroked my head and my back, wrapped herself around me and ran those cowboy boots up and down the back of my legs. I groaned into her neck.

  “Sandy, I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. I’m such a freaking jerk.”

  She stroked my hair. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “I forgive you.”

  I leaned up on an elbow and looked down at her. She was still laughing, none of those shadows I had seen lately in her face.

  “What else did you have planned? Besides the boots?”

  I moved back down into her arms again. “Well, I got this alligator oven-mitt from Wal-Mart. I was going to give you a massage with it. Then I cruised this web site for the University of Florida. They have lots of alligator stuff. I found this hat made out of foam. It’s like an alligator head, so I figured I’d
put that on and go down on you.”

  She was giggling now. “An alligator head?” Man, have you ever noticed what happens to a woman’s breasts when she is on her back and laughing? They’re just irresistible. I took one into my mouth and gave it a little attention, her giggles coming through the nipple like electric waves touching my tongue.

  “Then I found this place where they sell baby alligators.”

  “No more! I can’t stand it!” She was laughing out loud now, big belly laughs shaking her whole body.

  “I was going to flush it down the toilet while you watched.”

  She stuffed both fists into her mouth and screamed, the tears streaming down her pretty face. When she settled down a little she wrapped her arms and legs around me again, those cowboy boots rough to the touch. “My David. Slayer of Monsters.” Her soft lips moved down my neck, her giggles tickling my skin. “I forgive you.”

  Sarah Black

  I grew up in a Navy family and have lived all over the country. I loved seeing new places, and before I was very old I had decided to join the Navy myself.

  I never had any doubt that I was going to be a nurse when I grew up. I was bandaging cuts and lecturing sailors on smoking when I was eight. After earning my degree in nursing I joined the Navy Nurse Corps. In the course of my career I lived in Virginia, Texas, Maryland, Florida, and Italy. I also served in the first Iraq war on the hospital ship USNS Comfort. My son James was born while I lived in Italy.

  After I retired from the Navy I worked as a Family Nurse Practitioner in Public Health, and in 2002 I moved with my son out to the Navajo Reservation. I still love moving around and seeing new places. My other great love is books, both reading and writing them. From childhood, I’ve always been happiest curling up somewhere and diving into a good book.

  Good stories are everywhere, and some of the most interesting come from the quietest, most unassuming people. I started writing because I love to tell a good story, almost as much as I love to hear a good story.

  Visit my website at www.sarahblack.net or email me at sarahblack5@yahoo.com.