At Any Cost

by Mandy Baxter

  “A while, huh?” Nick placed his tray next to hers on the counter and stepped up to the grill to order a burger and fries. He cast a questioning glance Livy’s way.

  “Oh, I’ll take the black bean chicken quesadilla and mango salsa,” she said to Craig who was manning the grill today.

  “Are you like, Olympics good?”

  His question caused anxious nerves to rear their ugly little heads. The question was innocent enough she supposed, but it also made her feel as though Nick might know more about her than he let on. Danger, Will Robinson! “Not really,” she remarked as she accepted the plate with her quesadilla from Craig. She set it on her tray and continued down the bar after Nick got his burger. “I can handle the black diamond runs, though.”

  Livy grabbed a bottle of water out of the cooler and Nick swiped an iced tea. He pulled his wallet out of his jeans as they approached the register but she stopped him.

  “It’s on me.”

  Nick cocked a brow. A half smile flirted with his mouth and Livy fought the urge to sigh. The man was too good-looking for words. “I’m the one who invited you, remember.”

  “True. But I’m the one with the employee discount.”

  “All right. You can get this one,” he said as though he did her a huge favor, “but next time is on me.” The thought that there’d be a next time filled her with equal parts anticipation and fear. “You paid for pizza the other night too. You’re going to put me to shame.”

  They found a table tucked away in a far corner and close to the windows. The lodge was always so busy it was tough to have a conversation without shouting. Livy tended to avoid the third floor because the press of people made her nervous. Too many bodies crammed together and not enough space between her and the nearest exit. Sitting here with Nick made her feel more at ease than she had in a long time, though. Was it because he was a cop or because his sheer size and imposing presence made her feel as though nothing could touch her?

  Did it really matter?

  “You dug me out of a snowbank, packed in my groceries, and chopped firewood. I should be feeding you every night.” Nick’s brow furrowed and a smile played on his lips. A warm glow settled in her belly and Livy’s pulse skittered in her veins. Rather than try to smooth over her own embarrassment, she turned her attention on the quesadilla. “The food here is really good.”

  The great thing about Nick was that he didn’t press her. They ate and talked, but he didn’t ask her any more personal questions or grill her about her past. One of the reasons Livy kept herself from forming any relationships was because people were naturally curious and the more time she spent with someone, the more they wanted to know about her. Where had she lived before she moved to McCall? What had she done for work? Did she go to college? What about her parents? Where did they live? Did she have any brothers or sisters? Livy hated to lie and so rather than make up stories about a life she hadn’t lived, she opted to simply refrain from making friends. Sure it was lonely. But lonely was better than dead.

  “Most people ski on their days off.” Nick put his lips to the bottle of iced tea and took a long pull. Livy tried not to be jealous of an inanimate object, but she suddenly found herself wishing she’d been born a bottle of Lipton. His mouth looked absolutely delicious. “Since you ski at work, I doubt you’re anxious to spend your free time here.”

  Truth be told, there wasn’t much else that Livy did. She felt relatively safe here. There was only one road in or out and the slope of Brundage Mountain gave her the perfect vantage point to keep an eye on the parking lot. Not that she expected a horde of loud, growling motorcycles to climb the steep, winding mountain road in the dead of winter, but she’d take a false sense of security over the crippling fear any day of the week.

  “I come up on my days off sometimes,” she said. “The kids I teach are always beginners. They never graduate from Easy Street. Sometimes I like to take the big girl runs, you know?”

  Nick smiled. The expression was as blinding and brilliant as the sun. Did he employ his charm often, she wondered? Did he realize how much it made her want to lean in closer? Maybe close enough to touch. He smelled like winter: clean and crisp. Livy snapped back in her chair as she realized she’d unintentionally angled her body toward his. It had been so long since she’d gone on a date, let alone kissed a guy. She was starved for the contact. The reminder of her isolated existence opened up a giant hole in her chest. She had Joel to thank for that feeling and she hated him for it.

  “Hey. Everything okay?”

  Livy brought her gaze up to find Nick studying her. His expression was full of concern and she wondered what she’d let slip as she lost herself to her own stupid thoughts. “Oh, sorry. Did I zone out? I um, was thinking about Simon. I forgot to put food in his bowl before I left for work this morning.”

  Nick gave her a dubious look but he didn’t call her bullshit. A gorgeous, easygoing guy who didn’t pry. Too good to be true. The thought sent a shiver of warning through her. She needed to remain mindful of that very thing. When something was too good to be true, it usually was. Despite the fact that Nick made her feel safe, Livy needed to stay on guard.

  Lonely was better than dead.

  * * *

  Livy obviously had a lot of practice at deflecting. She gave noncommittal answers, was careful to keep the topics of conversation light, steering it where she wanted it to go. More than once during their lunch, Nick had watched as her concentration flagged and her mind wandered. The sadness that came over her features was enough to steal his breath.

  She hadn’t been thinking about her cat. Her overly cautious and distracted behavior was just another telltale sign that he was on the money. Livy Gallagher was Kari Hanson. He might not have the solid evidence to prove it but he trusted his gut. It didn’t answer the one burning question, though: Why did Joel really want her and why had she gone into hiding?

  She pulled the knit beanie from her head and smoothed a hand self-consciously over her hair. Her braids had kept it neat and Nick wondered what the golden strands would look like if she ever let them hang loose about her shoulders. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold; even her lips were darker pink and inviting, making her skin seem even more creamy and fair. Jesus, snap the hell out of it! She was a person of interest, not a date. It didn’t matter what she looked like. Even unofficially, Nick was still on the job.

  A few moments of companionable silence followed, each of them lost in their own thoughts. The connection between Livy and Joel was the ultimate puzzle, one with too many pieces for him to easily put it back together. The informant had been adamant that Joel was looking for his ex, a woman he hadn’t been able to get out of his head. He wanted her back at any cost and had put the word out to MCs across the country to keep an eye out for her.

  Currently, there were multiple federal warrants out for Joel’s arrest. Every law enforcement agency in the country was looking for him. A smart man—one with Joel’s extensive local and international connections—wouldn’t have wasted any time finding someone to smuggle him into Mexico. He had dealings with the cartel; it would have been relatively easy for him to slip over the border undetected. But according to their informant, Joel wasn’t going anywhere until he got his old lady back.

  Why? Why was Joel’s safety and freedom less important that getting his hands on Livy? She was beautiful, intelligent, funny.... It would have been enough to keep Nick by her side. Was it enough for Joel Meecum as well?

  “Looks like I’m not the only one zoning out today,” Livy remarked. “And you don’t even have a cat at home who’s more than likely plotting your demise because you forgot to feed him.”

  The comment tumbled from her lips with such ease. Nick wondered how long it had taken Livy to buy into her own lies and this life she’d fabricated for herself. “I think the cold weather is freezing my brain.”

  Livy laughed. The sound washed over him, warmed him from the inside out. Nick chided himself for allowing her to affect him in anyway
. He was investigating her, for shit’s sake. This wasn’t a date.

  “Winter is the price we pay for amazing summers.” Livy’s tone changed, no longer playful, but sad. “The summers in McCall are spectacular. Not too hot, not cold. The lake is amazing. I kayak, paddleboard, swim. I bet even you could get into those types of activities,” she added with a wry grin. “It’s a great place to live.”

  Goddamn it. She was getting ready to run.

  Livy spoke about the town as though in mourning. Regret shone in her eyes and tugged her mouth downward. The gears cranked in Nick’s brain and he fought to keep his expression impassive, the conversation light, when what he really wanted to do was grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her. Running wouldn’t solve anything. It would only make matters worse. “It sucks that I won’t get a chance to see it. Maybe I’ll have to drive up for a week in July or something.”

  She averted her gaze. Livy wouldn’t be here in July. “That would be great. You’d probably have a lot of fun. There’s more to do here in the summer anyway.”

  “Livy—” Nick snapped his jaw shut before he said something he’d regret. It was too soon to show his hand. She was as spooked as a rabbit caught in a snare and he still didn’t know her history with Joel. Livy appeared soft and innocent but looks could be deceiving. If he backed her into a corner, pushed her, she might show her teeth. He couldn’t afford to lose the one lead they’d had on Meecum in over a year.

  “What?” Her wide hazel eyes drank him in. Nick swallowed past the lump that rose in his throat. God, she was beautiful.

  “Why don’t I feed Simon for you?” It was an excuse to get into her house while she wasn’t home. She’d all but put the suggestion out there when she’d used her cat as the reason for her wandering thoughts.

  “Oh, um, yeah.” She drew her full bottom lip between her teeth and looked to her right. She rolled her shoulders as though trying to coax away some tension. “The doors are locked, though.”

  Her expression became pinched as though she waged some internal battle. Nick waited patiently. If he pushed her on the matter, she’d be suspicious. He was just making a friendly offer, being a good neighbor. He wanted her to trust him. Part of him needed her to.

  “If you think he’ll be okay until you get home, it’s fine,” Nick said. “I’m not doing anything but sitting in the house, so I thought I’d offer.”

  “I’m sure he’ll be okay,” Livy said after a moment. “He ate last night before bed, so it’s not like he’ll starve to death.”

  “No worries.” Shit. Nick hid his disappointment as he took a pull from the bottle of iced tea. The cold chill almost numbed his throat on the way down, better than the sting he felt at not being able to earn a small amount of Livy’s trust.

  Livy fidgeted in her seat, glanced toward the parking lot, over her shoulder, and again to her right. She leaned back to check the large clock that hung from the far wall. “I’ve got a group lesson in about fifteen minutes. I’d probably better go get ready.”

  It wasn’t a brush-off per se, but Nick’s offer to go into her house had made Livy nervous. She reached for her tray at the same time Nick did and their hands touched. The contact was electric and sent a rush of heat through his bloodstream that settled and pooled in his gut. Their eyes met and Livy’s full pink lips parted. How could a man spend any amount of time with her and not think about kissing her? Nick found himself thinking about it more and more and that was a huge fucking problem. “I’ll get your tray.” The words came out much rougher than he’d hoped. He cleared his throat. “You’ve got a lot more gear to get on than I do.”

  Livy pulled the knit beanie back on and pushed it up over her forehead before situating her goggles over the hat. Nick stood and gathered up their empty plates and stacked their trays but he watched from the corner of his eye as she put on her coat. Everything she did drew Nick’s undivided attention.

  “Thanks for having lunch with me.” She reached down and fiddled with her ski boot before turning toward the exit.

  Nick stood there, holding their lunch trays, mouth slack like some sort of idiot. “How about dinner tonight?” The words left his mouth before he could think better of it. Nothing like coming on too strong to earn a woman’s trust.

  A frown marred her brow for the barest second. That sadness and regret, no matter how fleeting, tore a hole in Nick’s chest every time he saw it. She paused and a smile tugged at one corner of her mouth. “My place or yours?”

  “How about we go out?” he suggested. “You could show me the town.”

  She worried her lip, unsure. Was Livy so afraid that besides work and the grocery store she never left her house? “All right,” she said after a moment. “I get off at four. How ’bout we eat around six thirty?”

  “I’ll be ready,” Nick replied. “Have fun on the slopes.”

  Her smile brightened. “Always. See you tonight.”

  This was research, Nick reminded himself. Nothing more. His interest in Livy didn’t go beyond how she could get him closer to Joel Meecum. And maybe if he kept telling himself that, like Livy, he’d start to believe his own lies.

  Chapter Seven

  Livy checked her reflection in the full-length mirror one last time. On a scale of one to ten of bad ideas, going out on a date with Nick ranked somewhere around a fifty. She’d always been able to justify her decision to live like a hermit. Fear could be a hell of a motivator. And likewise, she didn’t date for the same reason that she kept her interpersonal interactions to a minimum at work: Livy hated lying. Always had. And a relationship founded on lies was doomed no matter her reasons for doing it.

  She shouldn’t have accepted Nick’s offer for dinner tonight. She shouldn’t have eaten lunch with him this afternoon. Hell, she never should have let him pack in her groceries or push her out of the snowdrift in the first place. She never should have exchanged even a single word with him. Common sense took a permanent hiatus from her brain when he was near, though. Her thought process stalled and all she wanted was one minute more with him. When their hands had touched earlier today, it sparked something inside of Livy. A desire so hot and thick that she’d nearly choked on it. God, it was embarrassing how hard up she was. An innocent touch from a good-looking guy and she was on fire. Just one more reason going out to dinner with him tonight was a bad idea. Her tongue would be lolling out of her mouth before dessert. Totes sexy.

  Ugh. Could she be more of a loser?

  The knock at her front door startled Livy and she lost her hold on the tube of lipstick she held in her grasp. She took several even breaths to slow her racing heart and cast a sidelong glance at Simon who narrowed his eyes at her in judgment.

  “We can’t all be as cool as you are, Simon.”

  The cat gave her a forlorn meow before he jumped down from the bed and headed out of the room. Livy retrieved the tube of lipstick and smoothed some on her lips before following Simon down the stairs. Through the glass pane of the door, she caught sight of Nick waiting on the front porch, something clutched in his grip. Curiosity piqued, Livy hustled down the last few stairs and opened the door.

  “Hey. I’m almost ready, just have to grab my coat.”

  Nick held the snow shovel aloft, a wide smile curving his lips. Prince Charming had nothing on Nick. His smile literally weakened her knees. Livy expected a glint of light followed by a high-pitched ping! every time he grinned at her. His smile was by far Nick’s greatest asset and his most powerful weapon. She clutched the doorknob a little tighter to help keep her upright.

  “He’s no Frank, but hopefully he’ll get the job done.”

  Livy’s heart soared. What kind of woman was moved by a fucking snow shovel? This one, that’s who. A dozen roses wouldn’t have meant more to her than the plastic snow shovel Nick offered her.

  She took the shovel from his outstretched hand. “This is probably the best present anyone has ever given me. Thank you so much!”

  Nick’s brows came together and h
is lips formed a hard line. “If that’s the best present anyone has ever given you, I’d say I need to have a talk with the gift givers in your life.”

  Heat rose to Livy’s cheeks. She’d forgone birthday and Christmas presents when she was a kid in lieu of skis and coaching fees. Money had been tight and as a single parent, her mom worked two jobs not only to make ends meet but to make sure that she could continue to ski. Her mom was the only family she had, and in four years, Livy had talked to her all of fifteen times. So yeah, a stupid shovel meant so much to her that it caused tears to prick at her eyes.

  “I think I’ll call him Frank Junior.” It was easier to change the subject than to try to fabricate a reason why Livy didn’t have anyone in her life who might want to give her a gift. “I only hope he can live up to his father’s legacy.”

  Nick gave her a look as though he knew she was deflecting, but he let it slide. Again she was struck by how great it was to be with someone who didn’t try to pry and simply spent time with her. Sadness threatened to swallow her as Livy thought about moving away from the place she’d called home for four years. Knowing Nick would be leaving in three short weeks didn’t contribute to her melancholy, either. Not at all.

  “So, where are you taking me?” Nick waited on the porch as Livy threw on her coat and locked up the house. “And dinner’s on me so don’t let that influence your decision at all.”

  She checked the deadbolt once, twice, and again. If he noticed her obsessiveness, he didn’t say anything. Though, what would he say? So . . . I see you like to lock doors. What’s up with that? She wanted to knock her head against a wall.