At Any Cost

by Mandy Baxter

  Nick loved Livy. No matter what. And he wasn’t ever going to let her go.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Livy slumped against the front porch steps and then into the snow as she watched Nick cuff Joel Meecum. She was past the point of feeling cold—of feeling anything, really—and her eyes drifted shut despite the adrenaline that coursed through her veins. God, she was tired. It might have been bad timing, but a nap wouldn’t hurt, would it?

  “Livy?” Nick’s voice sounded as though it came from miles away and not just beside her. “Hey! Livy, talk to me.”

  “Later,” she mumbled. “After I wake up.”

  Her eyes cracked for the barest moment. Nick loomed over her, his expression pinched with concern. His mouth moved but no sound seemed to come out. Weird, because from the looks of it, he was shouting at her. A slow smile curved Livy’s mouth. Nick was the most breathtaking man she’d ever laid eyes on. “I love you, Nick,” she said before she drifted into a dark and dreamless sleep. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

  * * *

  Warm, humid air expanded Livy’s lungs. Good God. Had she fallen asleep and woken up in the freaking rain forest? She pawed at her face, at the plastic cup that covered her mouth. She had a feeling there was a fantastic story behind how she wound up in the jungle with a cup on her face. Her thoughts began to clear and Livy realized that there couldn’t possibly be a fantastic story because that would require having an actual life. Livy didn’t have friends to party with. She didn’t live anywhere near the jungle. Her life was about the snow and cold and days of never-ending loneliness and isolation. Well, sort of. A pair of dark, intense eyes came to mind and Livy smiled. Nick. The godlike man of her dreams. Adonis with a badge and sidearm.

  Livy sucked in a sharp breath of warm air. Her eyes flew open and she choked on the exhale. Bright light nearly blinded her as an unfamiliar room came into focus. She clawed at her face, at the mask that covered her nose and mouth. Something connected to the back of her left hand that gave a tug and she looked over to see an IV tube taped there.

  Alarms beeped and blared in the recesses of her mind as her heart rate kicked into overdrive. Panic infused her veins and her head swam. What in the hell was going on? Where was Nick? The last thing she remembered he had Joel on the ground and . . .

  “Hey.” A deep, comforting voice caressed her ears. “Hey.” Firmer this time. “Livy, try to calm down. You’re okay. You’re in the hospital.” Nick’s gorgeous face filled her vision and she wanted to cry with relief. “Do you understand me? I need you to settle down.”

  Settle down? Unanswered questions peppered Livy’s brain. They both could have died! She didn’t know if she could ever settle down again.

  Livy started to talk but it was tough with her face all covered up. She reached for the mask once again and Nick’s expression became stern as he reached out and took her wrists in his hands. “Hold on. Do me a favor and quit trying to rip out your IV and I’ll help you with your mask. Deal?”

  Livy nodded.

  “Okay, first things first. Lie back.”

  She let herself fall back against the hard hospital pillows. She inhaled another deep breath of warm air before letting it out slowly. Once she was settled down, Nick reached over her and gently removed the mask from her face.

  “Why am I breathing in rain-forest air?” Livy asked. She rubbed at her cheeks where the elastic had rested and instantly regretted it. Tears sprang to her eyes from the pain that radiated from both of her cheeks and down through her jaw. “Ow.” She groaned. “Ow, ow, ow.”

  Nick’s brow furrowed. He reached out and smoothed her hair back. “You’re hypothermic,” he said. “You lost consciousness and your heart rate was dangerously slow. We had to get you warmed up.” His wan smile and furrowed brow conveyed his worry and anxiety tugged at Livy’s chest. “Warm blankets, warm air, IV fluids, the whole nine yards.”

  Livy tried to push herself up farther on the bed and she realized heavy, warm blankets weighed down her torso. Why not her legs? Her arms? Her eyes went wide and the sounds on the machines attached to her perked up once again. “Did I lose my toes?” God, she wasn’t sure she could feel them. Livy tried to sit up, to tear off the blankets, but Nick urged her to stay put. “My feet?” How bad was it? She didn’t know if she could handle it if she could never ski again. “Don’t sugarcoat it, Nick. Give it to me straight.”

  He answered her with a nervous chuckle. “You didn’t lose any toes or feet. It’s dangerous not to warm you up from the middle outward. That’s all. You have mild frostbite on your toes and your fingers were almost there but you’re going to be okay. No amputations. I promise.”

  “You swear?”

  Nick lifted two fingers. “Scout’s honor.”

  Relief swamped her. The tears she’d tried to quell escaped and rolled down her cheeks. “Do I look horrible?” Joel had really done a number on her. She doubted she’d be winning any beauty pageants in the near future.

  Nick’s jaw squared. “There’s only one other time in my life I’ve wanted to hurt someone that badly.” His voice quavered and he took a slow breath through flared nostrils. “When I saw what he did to you—”

  Livy reached out and took his hand in hers. “But it’s over, right? You arrested him?”

  Nick gave a sharp nod of his head as he averted his gaze. He wasn’t telling her everything. Not that Livy was surprised. She knew she wouldn’t walk away from this scot-free.

  “It’s not over, though.” Sadness cut through her, deep and sharp. “Is it?”

  Nick opened his mouth to speak at the same moment the door swung open. A uniformed sheriff’s deputy walked in and a guy in jeans and a striped button-up followed him. Nick’s gaze darkened. “You can talk to her later when she’s feeling better.”

  Livy gave him a searching gaze. Her heart rate kicked up. “I feel fine.”

  Nick quirked a challenging brow. She sensed he’d wanted her to give a different answer.

  “We just need a minute,” the plainclothes guy said to Nick.

  Who in the hell was he? He wore a badge on a lanyard around his neck. Another marshal maybe? The machine that monitored Livy’s vitals beeped with her increased pulse.

  “Later,” Nick said from between clenched teeth.

  “No,” Livy said softly. There was no point in putting it off. Worrying and wondering about her fate would only prolong the torture. She’d been prepared to face the consequences. Might as well rip the off the Band-Aid. “It’s okay, Nick. I want to talk to them.”

  The county sheriff remained silent. The guy Livy assumed might be another marshal cut Nick a look. “You can wait outside, Deputy. This won’t take long.”

  Nick turned to face Livy, his jaw set stubbornly. “I’m right outside,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Livy gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. He reached out, took her hand in his, and gave it a light squeeze. When he let go, cold seeped into Livy’s skin and she shuddered. He didn’t even exchange a glance with the other men in the room as he stalked toward the door and left.

  A quiet moment followed and Livy wished she hadn’t been so damned confident about being left alone with these guys. Intimidating didn’t even begin to describe the man who’d taken point. He regarded Livy as though already working some sort of lie detector mojo on her. Well, she hated to disappoint him but she was through with telling lies.

  “I’m Deputy U.S. Marshal Ethan Morgan.” His crisp, all-business tone didn’t do much to put Livy at ease. “I think we’d better have a talk about what happened last night, Livy. As well as what happened four years ago at your father’s office.”

  If he knew about her dad, Nick had obviously filled everyone in. Which meant that Deputy Morgan wanted her to corroborate Nick’s story. He could try to catch her in a lie, but Livy had nothing but the truth to offer. “Sure.” Her mouth went dry and she tried to muster up enough saliva to talk. “But for the record, my name isn’t Liv
y. It’s Kari. Kari Barnes.”

  Deputy Morgan’s expression softened. Score a point for her! “Okay, Kari. Let’s start at your dad’s office, four years ago, and go from there. Sound good?”

  She let out a slow sigh that loosened the tension in her chest. Another shock of cold caused her to shiver and she pulled the heated blanket up closer to her chin. She could do this. She could get through this. No matter what happened from here on out, she’d be okay. There was definitely something to that saying about the truth setting you free. All she’d given Morgan so far was her real name and already she felt lighter. “Can I get some water, please?”

  Morgan gave a shallow nod of his head. The sheriff’s deputy stepped up to the rolling tray beside her bed and poured a little water into a plastic cup. She took it from him with shaking hands and sipped. It wasn’t the cold that caused the quaking in her limbs. Nothing was scarier than dropping the facade, it seemed.

  Kari. The name didn’t even ring with familiarity anymore. She didn’t want to be Kari. Didn’t want to be that woman who’d seen her father die and, instead of helping to bring his murderer to justice, had run away.

  Deputy Morgan waited patiently, but his gaze was focused and hard. He was used to dealing with people on the other side of the law and she was no different. Guilty until proven innocent, it seemed. Her stomach twisted into a knot as she reminded herself that even Nick had assumed she was guilty.

  “Kari?” Deputy Morgan took a seat beside the bed. “Are you ready?”

  He came across as a little less intimidating at eye level. His lips didn’t so much as twitch, though. No hint of humor accented his hard features. Morgan was there for answers, and he wasn’t leaving until he got them. He activated the voice record function on his phone and set it on the tray table beside her. Livy watched as the seconds ticked away, recording nothing but silence.

  The faster she spilled her guts, the faster Nick would be allowed back into the room. They still had a lot to hash out, the least of it being her confession of love before she’d passed out face-first in a snowbank.

  She’d put out one fire at a time. Hell, she’d already been beaten, nearly frozen to death, and almost shot. It couldn’t possibly get worse, could it?

  “A little over four years ago, I went looking for my dad,” she began. Deputy Morgan leaned forward in his chair, his attention focused solely on her. She took another sip of water. What she really wanted was a steaming mug of hot cocoa. “When I tracked him down, he was working as an accountant. After a few months, I found out that he’d been laundering money for a bunch of drug dealers, gangsters, and a couple of motorcycle gangs. That’s how I know Joel Meecum. . . .”

  An hour passed while Livy relived the worst four years of her entire life. She didn’t shed a single tear, though. Her voice didn’t so much as quaver. Every word spoken was one hundred percent the truth. The only part she omitted was the extent of her relationship with Nick. As far as she was concerned what had happened between them was nobody’s damned business but theirs.

  “There’s nothing else?” Deputy Morgan asked. “Any detail you might have forgotten?”

  “No.” Livy didn’t think she could ever forget the details of her dad’s death or how it came about. “That’s all of it.”

  “And you still have this ledger?”

  That leather-bound book had ruined her life. “I do.” And she couldn’t wait to get rid of it.

  Deputy Morgan studied her. “Care to tell me where it is?”

  No one had mentioned an arrest but Livy knew that it was too soon for him to slap the cuffs on her. It could be days—weeks—before they decided whether or not to press charges against her. If she gave them the ledger now, would it compromise any chance she had at freedom? Nick already knew it was hidden beneath the floorboards in her bedroom. He could turn it over to Deputy Morgan at any time. “Nick knows where it is,” she said quietly.

  He gave her a shallow nod before retrieving his phone from the table and disabling the voice recording. “Thank you, Kari,” he said as he stood. “I’ll be in touch soon.”

  With his cryptic parting words, Deputy Morgan left the room with the county sheriff in his wake.

  Anxious nerves churned in Livy’s gut as she was left alone with her thoughts. Another chill shook her and she brought the mask to her face to breathe in more of the warm air they’d been pumping her full of. Hypothermia. Jesus.

  A swath of light cut across the floor as the door to her room glided open once again. Nick’s shadowed form came into focus and Livy took another deep breath of warm, humid air before she tucked the mask beside her once again. Bruised, frozen, and exhausted, it wasn’t exactly how she wanted him to see her. Especially when they still had so much to hash out.

  His dark gaze devoured her and Livy’s stomach shot up into her throat. Even as hurt as she still was by his assumption that she’d been Joel’s partner, Livy couldn’t help but admire him. Nick was certainly one of a kind.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “How you holding up?” He approached the bed cautiously, as though afraid he’d spook her.

  “I feel horrible,” Livy said after a moment. “I hurt everywhere. My face feels like it’s been run against a cheese shredder and I’m so cold I don’t think I’ll ever get warm.” That bothered Livy more than she wanted to admit. She liked the cold. Lived for winter sports. What if her frostbite and hypothermia had some psychological effect on her and she was forced to move to Florida where it was summer 365 days a year?

  “It’s okay to go slow, Livy,” Nick said. “You’ve been through a lot.”

  The events of the previous night flashed through Livy’s mind once again in a wild blur. Her fight with Nick, the accusations he’d made, still stung. As did the fact that he’d slept with her, cradled her in his arms, while holding on to his preconceived notions about her. Even after all of that, she’d told him she loved him. She really was a glutton for punishment, wasn’t she?

  “Just another day in the life of Joel Meecum’s ex-girlfriend, right?” She hadn’t meant to throw Nick’s accusation back in his face, but her emotions got the better of her. “I probably got what I deserved.”

  Nick let his head fall between his shoulders and cupped the back of his neck. He looked tired. Exhausted, really. “Don’t say that. Nobody deserves to go through what you went through. I’m sorry, Livy. I’m so damned sorry for the things I said last night. For not giving you the benefit of the doubt. I knew. I knew that wasn’t who you were. What you were capable of. I never should have made those assumptions about you. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I’m so sorry, Livy. So damned sorry. I wish I could take it all back.”

  Emotion swelled in Livy’s chest. His apology warmed her, but she wasn’t exactly without guilt, either. They’d both made some boneheaded mistakes. And whereas Nick’s had spanned the course of a week or two, Livy’s had spanned years.

  “I shouldn’t have lied to you, Nick. Especially after . . .” She averted her gaze, unwilling to meet the open intensity in his. She cleared her throat. “After everything that happened between us. I should have trusted you. I’m sorry.”

  “Jesus, Livy,” Nick said on a breath. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. Do you understand? Don’t apologize. For anything.”

  He took a couple of tentative steps until he stood next to the bed. Livy brought her eyes up and her attention landed on the badge that hung from a chain on his neck. The five-pointed star reminded her of Captain America’s shield. Pretty fitting, actually. Nick was certainly a superhero. If he hadn’t been there last night, she would have died. She’d been so stupid to think she could go it alone. No one was an island, especially her. She meant what she’d said. She should have trusted him sooner with the truth. Nick wasn’t simply a good man. He was the best man Livy had ever known. He’d followed through on his promise to her. He hadn’t let her down.

  Livy lifted her right arm. “After the conversation I just had with Deputy Morgan,
I’m surprised I’m not cuffed to the bed.”

  Nick’s gaze darkened. They both knew there would be repercussions for her actions. “It’s not as bad as you think.” The gentleness of his voice did more to warm her than the pile of heated blankets currently trapping her to the bed. “You fled the scene of a crime. You technically obstructed justice. Hardly anything that’ll land you in a super-max.”

  Livy cringed. She was so ashamed of her decisions, especially now that Nick knew the truth. “What about my dad?” she asked. “Do you think they all still believe I helped Joel kill him?”

  Nick took her hand in his. The temperature of his skin was surface-of-the-sun hot against her almost frostbitten skin but she refused to pull away. His touch was the most comforting thing she’d ever experienced.

  “I know you had nothing to do with it,” Nick replied. “I’m sure Morgan does too. Now that everything is in the open, I doubt anyone is going to recommend that charges be pressed against you.”

  “What about the obstruction and fleeing the scene? They can’t let that slide.” Livy looked away, embarrassed. “I was a fugitive for four years.”

  Nick gave a gentle laugh that caused Livy’s stomach to do a backflip. “Meecum was a fugitive. You were a scared woman who made a decision to hide in order to protect herself.”

  “Still, I have to be held accountable. Right?”

  “You forget that you have a pretty big bargaining chip, Livy.”

  “I do? What?”