by P. W. Davies
Good enough to fuck, he thought, which spurred the final thought. Reaching into the bedside nightstand, he grabbed the lubricant and condoms he kept stored inside just in case, slipping them inside his pockets. A final check preceded his mobile joining them in a different pocket, and after plucking his cigarettes and house keys from the entryway, he locked the flat behind him. Only a few steps into the hallway, the first flight of nerves assaulted him, not dismissed until he left the building and lit a cigarette.
“Remember, even if it goes beyond drinks, you’re little more than a rent boy to this good-looking bastard,” he muttered. Even he knew the statement cushioned a lie, though how much of one remained to be seen. It felt like a comfortable illusion and so, he held onto it, bringing it with him to the subway entrance. Taking the stairs to the platform, he reminded himself of their plans for the night. Meet up at a bar on Sansom Street.
“Here goes nothing, love,” Christian said once the train reached City Hall. He joined the throng of people who wound their way above ground and once he reached the street, he took a deep breath and nodded. No more cigarettes for the time being, so Victor didn’t feel like he was kissing an ashtray. No, Christian formed the plan with his first step in the direction of the bar. When he got there, he’d order a brandy, then follow it up with another one, so when Victor’s tongue glided against his, that was what he tasted. A part of him wanted Victor to remember that, even if he forgot the rest.
The cut of his waistcoat, and the taste of his tongue.
Tingles had already made their way down his spine even before he arrived. Looking around once he’d entered, he eschewed searching the bar counter in favor of studying the longue area. When he spotted Victor, a second set worked their way to his groin, anticipation starting its climb up the hill. Attempting to appear nonchalant, Christian walked through the Saturday evening crowd, his eyes focused on the handsome lawyer, gaze turning dark and mischievous.
Victor looked in his direction as if prompted. When their eyes met, the slightly taller man stood, turning while he did to face Christian more directly. The suit Victor wore looked slightly more casual than his work suit, but still fit him in the same way, with the same deliberate tailoring that hinted at what lay beneath. Christian licked his lips and smirked, making his way to the plush collection of chairs and sitting across from Victor while he lowered himself back into his seat.
“Please forgive me if I say, I’m relieved to see you made it,” Victor said.
Christian breathed a chuckle. “I won’t be running out of the building like it caught fire this time,” he said. Eyes scanning for a waitress, he lifted an arm and got the attention of one, who nodded at him. With a quick look downward, Christian raised an eyebrow at the empty glass in front of Victor. “What are you drinking?” he asked.
Glancing at the glass as well, Victor looked back at Christian. “Brandy.”
“Ah, what I had intended to drink tonight, too.” He tried not to think about the fact that now he’d be left with the same memory. Hard, soul-claiming kisses tasting like brandy, and perhaps, a glimpse at a body worth exploring. Christian relayed the order to the waitress when she arrived – two brandies – and waited for her to leave before removing his hat. “One of the things I relish about this city are how many places exist where one can be as dressed up or down as possible.”
“I thought you might like this place.” Victor inched closer, the slight extension of his leg causing it to brush against one of Christian’s. “I haven’t stopped thinking of what you whispered in my ear.”
“Neither have I,” Christian said. He peered in the direction of the bar, seeing the waitress type their drink orders onto a touch screen, then looked back at Victor. “I’ll admit, you made me work up a decent head of steam. I might have gone home and had matters to attend to when I arrived at my flat.”
Those brown eyes turned distant. Only for a moment, but long enough for Christian to imagine Victor envisioning that. “If you keep teasing me, I might cut drinks short.”
“I think waiting will be worth our while. I just like the thought of you lingering on that idea until I can show you what I mean in better detail.” Christian winked, and Victor nodded, his posture tense at first and gradually relaxing. It only took another few moments for the waitress to arrive with the two brandies, and once he took possession of it, Christian immediately ordered another. “Does a second round of drinks permit talk about work?” formed the basis of their initial discussion, with Christian deftly avoiding much explanation into what he did.
“Nothing worth noting yet, love,” Christian said. “Though if that makes you hesitant to tell me more, you can let me know.”
Lifting his glass to take a drink, Christian presented a dare in his expression. Victor eventually took a deep breath, the sound of him exhaling riddled with surrender. “We’re in the middle of an acquisition lawsuit at work,” he said. “The company we work for, Bechtel Systems, is being bought out by Shaw Enterprises. It isn’t as sexy as TV or the movies make it out toward being. A lot of paperwork.”
“One of the reasons why I’ve never felt suited for an office job, no offense.” He finished the remainder of one glass, in time for the waitress to deliver the second. Victor lifted a hand to stop the waitress, handing her his credit card, and pocketed his wallet while she walked away to pay for their drinks. Christian couldn’t help but to laugh.
Victor echoed the laugh, with a hint of self-consciousness. “What is it?” he asked.
“I thought I might slip in paying for drinks.” Another grin, seductive in nature, danced across Christian’s lips. “Or are you trying to impress me with all of this?”
“Impress you?” Victor raised an eyebrow.
“Yes.” Christian was the one who inched forward this time. Their knees touched, Christian bending forward to lower his voice. “Showing me that you might be worth staying past the flirting when I already owe you for two drinks.”
Something indistinguishable crossed Victor’s expression, which made Christian laugh. “No, love, I don’t mean sex would be paying you back for the drinks. I don’t sell myself nearly so cheap,” he said.
“I wondered.” Victor recovered quickly, regaining his decorum. While looking Christian in the eyes, he appeared to be weighing something significant, and as he said, “I have never done anything like this before,” the declaration seemed racked with ambiguity.
Christian picked up the second glass and drank down a significant portion of its contents. “Well, we’re one meeting past this being casual sex with a stranger. Would knowing a few additional things make you feel more comfortable?”
“Such as?” Victor asked.
“Six questions. Each of us gets three and both of us must answer. I’ll start.” Christian pursed his lips in thought, using the return of their waitress with the check to sign as a chance to gather his thoughts. Once Victor had finished, he pocketed his wallet again, focusing back on Christian, who shrugged. “Your hometown,” Christian said. “Let’s start with a simple one.”
Victor nodded, easing into the game. “Alright. Las Vegas. Now, your turn.”
“Exeter, England. Ask your question.”
“How old were you when you lost your virginity?”
“Fifteen. And you?”
“Sixteen.”
Christian nodded and finished the rest of his drink. “I’ll assume you lost your virginity to a girl. You strike me as the type. No judgment intended with that. I did as well.” Licking his lips again, he set down the glass. His hand touched Victor’s thigh, settling just south of suggestive, and too far north for anyone to mistake the intent. As their eyes locked, Christian mirrored Victor’s arched brow. “Alright, here’s my question. Assuming your first sexual encounter was with a woman, who was the first man you slept with?”
Victor tensed. When the tension lingered, the question unanswered for a longer pause than Christian had anticipated, Christian sobered. Whatever had changed in his expression, from Vic
tor’s point of view, made Victor reach forward and place hand on top of Christian’s. The look in his eyes turned nervous. “That was what I meant when I said I’ve never done anything like this before. To be honest, I’ve never slept with another man. You’ll be my first.”
Victor kept his hand over Christian’s, willing the other man not to pull away. He studied Christian while trying to keep his face impassive. It had taken a lot of nerve to be able to say the words out loud, and now it was just a matter of waiting to see if Christian would decide he wasn’t worth the trouble.
At least, that was what he told himself, so he didn’t show how much he wished he could read Christian’s mind.
He didn’t immediately get up and walk away. That’s something. And it was. Victor could tell Christian was considering how he wanted to respond. He wasn’t disinterested. To Victor, it looked like he was considering what response to land on.
Victor waited, counting his breaths.
Christian rolled words around on his tongue, keeping most of them to himself.
Until, finally, he said, “You hold your cards close to your chest, I’ll say that much.”
“Good. I’d be a poor lawyer otherwise.” Victor ran his thumb over Christian’s skin.
Christian frowned, the wrinkles barely noticeable but Victor was still watching him too closely to miss the telltale dip in his eyebrows. “Why the hell would you want to waste that on someone like me?” he asked.
That again. He’s not undervaluing himself. At least not the way some people would. So, what is it?
“I wouldn’t call spending a night with you a waste. You’re an attractive man,” Victor said, gauging Christian’s response.
“I wasn’t talking about my aesthetics, thank you. Though I’m glad to know I haven’t slid to rubbish in the past few months.” He rotated his hand beneath Victor’s, brushing their fingertips together before reaching for his drink again. “It was like a second virginity for me.”
“You mean meaningful.”
Christian hid it well, but for a moment he looked pained. “I mean not with a stranger.”
Victor considered what to say in response. “I know we’re just meeting. But you and I agreed to see each other again, knowing where the night might lead. If you think this should go differently –”
“This isn’t about me.” Christian was warring with himself, he could tell. Victor wished he knew why.
He sat up straighter, his eyes locked onto Christian’s. “I’m thirty-one,” Victor said. “I have a job I’m good at. Family who is proud of me. Friends who care about me. And I want to explore my attraction to men. You are interested in me. Attracted to me.” Victor’s tone dared Christian to argue as he shifted forward, further into his personal space. Christian didn’t move, but he took that as a good sign. “Whatever this is, it isn’t without meaning. And I am very certain I want to kiss you again. To find out what else I want to do. The only question is,” he took a deep breath, softening his expression. “Will you spend the night with me?”
Victor closed what little distance separated them from a kiss, drinking in Christian like he had no care toward anyone pausing either to evaluate a well-dressed lawyer or a much more casual… whatever Christian could be described as. Dangerous. Victor hadn’t failed to see the hints of something darker around Christian. His scars and tattoos weren’t for show, or sexy advertisements. They were part of him. Expressions of the man underneath. Victor understood it without being able to name why just yet. That it didn’t have him deterred, he thought, should have scared him.
But still, he kissed Christian with the intent of proving he wanted him – wanted this – and pulled away only once the two of them needed breath. Both opened their eyes at the same moment, Victor needing to steady himself as the blood rushing to his groin had made him even more certain about doing something reckless. Christian looked frozen at first, licking his lips as if he could still taste Victor and was answering the remaining doubt he had lingering in his head.
“You certainly know how to catch a man off guard,” Christian said.
Victor chuckled, not knowing whether Christian meant the kiss or the revelation about his lack of experience. He opted to discuss the second. “There didn’t seem to be a good time to drop that particular bombshell when you’re more focused on trying to tell someone you want to sleep with them.” He did his best to look apologetic. “I assumed you would have figured it out before we got into bed.”
“That presumes I would have taken you to an actual bed.” Christian’s eyes were glinting with mischief, which did a lot to convince Victor the night still held promise. Especially after that kiss.
“I would like to be in an actual bed when I first get to see you naked,” Victor said, his voice hinting at the nerves that suddenly flared. He fought past them. “But I wouldn’t mind just touching you beforehand.”
“Touching, definitely. Kissing, also definitely,” Christian said, his eyes flicking over Victor once again. “Naked, resting on the bed, begging for it…Well, a man can hope.”
Victor would not have been able to stand even if he wanted to. He glanced away and cleared his throat before looking back into Christian’s eyes. “I am not afraid to experiment. Just uncertain what I like.”
Christian evaluated him, a coy smirk playing on his lips. “Oh, I can think of a few things I know you’ll like. It would just take more than one night to show you all of them.”
There was a taunt in the words, but something else as well. Victor didn’t bother considering what it might be, and focused on the fact that Christian wasn’t walking away. “What would you do first?”
“That depends. You said inexperienced. How inexperienced?” Christian glanced him up and down again as though the answer would be plain to see. Victor wondered if it was.
Instead he asked, “What do you mean?”
“You haven’t been with a man,” Christian said, leaning forward and settling a hand on Victor’s knee. “But there are toys.” His eyes were intent, keeping Victor’s captive. “Fingers.” Victor watched Christian lick his lips, the action slow and deliberate.
Need didn’t begin to describe what Christian was making him feel.
Desperation.
“No,” he managed to say, but even to Victor his own voice sounded strained. “None of that either.”
Christian held steady. Victor had no way of knowing what he was thinking, because his expression didn’t change.
His eyes, though, Victor thought. They look... hungry.
“You, Victor are a very lucky man.” Christian’s voice was dark. Seductive. “I always come prepared. So, if you really are certain about this –”
“I am.” He responded without any hesitation, almost surprising himself.
“Then you can get us that room, now.” Christian lifted his hand from Victor’s thigh, reaching up to touch his face. His thumb ran over Victor’s lips, making his eyes flutter shut. “I’ll show you all the things you’ve been missing.”
Eight
On their way to the hotel, Victor found himself applauding his forethought. A room had been reserved and paid for, near the place he had settled on for drinks. While the length of time it took to walk down the street was brief, it felt nearly painful with so much lust hanging in the air between them. Once the keycard had been slid into the slot, and door shut between them, both men rushed to close what little distance remained between them.
Christian’s hands were like his lips. Firm. Demanding. Victor had wondered, when it came down to it, if he would be caught up in all the differences between what it was like being with a man compared to his experiences with women. It wasn’t like that at all.
Every moment he and Christian exchanged touching, kissing, was a moment where he simply wanted more. The first time Christian’s hand grabbed his ass and hauled their bodies together, he inhaled sharply, savoring everything that came with it. Chests pressing together, realizing that Christian had angled his hips so that their erectio
ns weren’t just smashed together but alongside one another, he felt the other man shiver his own reaction.
Victor gained confidence. He’d been worried that as each step progressed, he would be more cautious, more uncertain about what should happen next. Instead, he found himself wanting to try things simply to see what reaction it would provoke.
His lips skimming along the side of Christian’s throat earned him a tilted head, asking for more. When he dared himself to run his hands up underneath Christian’s shirt, he received a sly grin and a kiss that included tongue. Christian tugged Victor’s shirt out of his pants, but rather than returning the touch he grabbed two fistfuls of fabric and pressed their bodies together. Victor undid Christian’s belt. There was a trick to doing it for someone else after a lifetime of only dealing with his own. But Christian didn’t seem to mind the extra touches.
Far from it.
His first real moment of not quite knowing what to do, or more specifically how to respond, was when Christian pressed one of his knees in between Victor’s. Spreading his legs apart seemed like a dare, and while part of him was curious about what might follow it was also the first moment he felt more vulnerable.
After he let it happen, though, he was rewarded with the feel of the full length of Christian’s erect cock pressed alongside his own. It made his breath catch, his hands grabbing at the nearest part of Christian – a shoulder and along his left side – holding the other man in place so he could spend an extra moment memorizing how it felt.
Which is precisely when Christian slid his tie from around his neck and moved to lift his shirt overhead.
Something in Victor’s posture made Christian freeze. They looked into each other’s eyes for what seemed to be second upon second, evaluating, communicating without saying a word. When Victor relaxed, Christian finished lifting the shirt away, helping Victor to dislodge his arms from the sleeves before he tossed it across the room.
This time it was Christian who paused.