by Opal Mellon
“You don’t owe me anything,” he said. “If anything, I owe you. I shattered you.”
She narrowed her eyes, and then snorted. “As if.”
“I’ll make it up to you. You figure out a way and name it.”
She wanted to tell him that he was right, that the day he left didn’t undo how he had been a friend to her, how he had protected her. But she sensed that letting him make it up to her was important to him, that there was part of him that was protected by protecting others, so she nodded.
“I’ll think of something.”
“Good.” Justin smiled, barely, and put a hand over on her shoulder for a moment before dropping it. “I’m glad I get to assuage my guilt.” He glanced at her with a grin. “Then again, maybe I just want to see you more.” He faced her and put a hand up to her hair. “You have such a clarifying effect on me Molly. Like you really see me.” He pushed a lock behind her ear. “Sometimes that’s hard for me.”
“Hard?” Molly could feel her own heartbeat when he touched her. Pounding.
“I better check on the other clients.” He pulled away and grimaced. “Sorry Molly. Let me know when you think of something.”
Molly watched him go, unsure what had made him withdraw and pull back. She wished she could call him back, but had the feeling that he was already distanced in his mind and would be even if his body came back to her.
~~~
Later that night, Justin saw her leave from the camera in Hope’s office. Though he sat pressed against the wall, his arms around his head, he watched the screens as a good manager would. Sweat poured down his face, and he hit his head again to shake out of it. Get a grip, come on. Molly won’t find out why you left. She’s not in danger. None of you are. She doesn’t know where you are. Everyone is safe as long as it stays that way.
When Molly had agreed to let him pay her back with that simple trust, something had just snapped. The thoughts of a future where he had to leave again, leave all of this, sent him back to the past, to so many things he didn’t want to remember. To the painful life he’d left, to the good life he’d been forced to leave painfully, and the life he’d built here. He’d found Molly again; he couldn’t lose her or anything else to the woman who had called herself family and ruined his life.
He’d never be whole, sane. Never be a man a girl like Molly deserved. Never fit with a good woman. But he couldn’t let his past decide that he couldn’t have friends like her either. He couldn’t let that woman force him out of another life he wanted. Even if it was a secondhand life, not his first choice.
Chapter 4
Molly squinted at her screen, stood up and poked her head over her cubicle to make sure no one was around, and then squinted again. She knew it wouldn’t make a difference in the words on the screen, but somehow squinting at them as if to let them feel her displeasure felt good.
Molly,
Have you missed me? I’ve missed you. I’ll be seeing you again soon though.
You know who.
Molly didn’t. She looked at the sender, didn’t recognize the generic looking name, and closed the window, turning back to work.
She hadn’t run even a full bug test when her email chimed, announcing a new message. She huffed and thought about ignoring it, but she’d ignored an email from the tech VP one too many times already, and looked in the box. The same annoying email address. She almost didn’t open it, but was too straightforward not to face it head on.
Molly,
You don’t know who I am, do you? Well you will soon. Can’t wait to play with you.
You don’t know who.
Molly cocked her head, then rested her chin in her hands. This was where having ex-boyfriends would have been handy, because she could have pegged one as a crazy ex. Not that there hadn’t been any interested boys in the past. She thought for a moment then opened an email to Nicole.
Hey,
Been getting a weird email. You aren’t pranking me are you?
Molly
Molly attached the two weird emails and sent them to Nicole. If Nicole hadn’t sent them, she’d certainly have an opinion on what to do, if anything, about them.
Molly went back to her bug test, watching it crawl through code, only paying a sliver of attention (though that was all that was needed). She left the email in a small window at the top of the screen where it didn’t obscure her view. She didn’t need to hear the chime; she saw a new email appear and had already clicked it when the chime went off. She silenced her computer so that no one in the office would think she was excessively emailing.
Emailing your friend? Did I say you could share my messages?
Okay, it definitely had to be Nicole emailing. If not, how would they have known without watching her screen or hacking into her email? If it wasn’t Nicole, Molly knew that finding someone with the kind of tech savvy needed wouldn’t be hard given how many engineers she worked with and went to school with. There was another email underneath it from Nicole.
Molly,
I didn’t send those. So creepy. I’m showing them to Sean, is that okay?
Molly replied that it was, but rolled her eyes because she knew whether she said it was okay or not Nicole would show Sean. Nicole was a no secrets kind of gal.
Should she reply to the email? Should she talk to her boss and see if anyone else had the same thing going on? Molly tapped her temple and stood in her cubicle to check for her boss, then went over to his desk to use his window.
Maybe the stalker could see her now. But maybe she could see him. Wind blowing east turned the leaves violently in their trees. Several people walked the sidewalk. A woman in a plum colored suit with reddish hair. A man in a gray blazer and brown pants with black shoes who appeared hurried. A couple seated on a bench, entwined, feeding each other sandwiches. Molly scanned the cars parked in front of the building. No one inside them, though a couple of the windows were too tinted to see in. She couldn’t see that any of them were running, but on a cool fall day one could stay in the car without heat or air conditioning pretty comfortably.
She thought about getting a snack from the break room, realized that the sender of the emails could well be in the office, and scuttled back to her cubicle. She closed her email. She didn’t have time to deal with this. She had programs to debug, and hardware design to look over.
~~~
Sean opened the door to his duplex with trepidation. And not because of the light bruise on his eye that would earn him a scolding from Nicole for being careless during sparring. He just felt too tired to want to help her invade other people’s business. A couple of fairly jokey looking emails and Nicole had been on the warpath. He’d told her it’d have to wait till he got home. He wasn’t a cold person, but Nicole was his priority, her safety, her satisfaction. And he should have been looking forward to walking into her arms, but no, he’d have to deal with drama first.
He called for Nicole, and then vaulted up the stairs to the bedroom to change. He was loosening his tie when Nicole grabbed him around the waist, startling him. She nuzzled his neck and he calmed. He leaned down to her so that she’d stop standing on her tiptoes and held her around the waist.
“I missed you,” he said when they pulled apart.
“Me too,” she said. “I made dinner today.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Ooh.” He went ahead of her down the stairs. “Special day eh?”
“No, just writer’s block and I needed something to do.”
He laughed when he saw the In-N-Out boxes on the counter. “Special recipe huh?”
“You know it.”
He sat and unwrapped his burger. “You cleaned the kitchen too.” He took a bite. “So domestic.”
“Yeah.” She sat down but didn’t open hers. Uh oh.
He narrowed his eyes on her. She gave him a guilty look.
“So … what did you think about the emails?”
He exhaled loudly, sat back and wiped off his fingers. “Nicole, should we really get involved in thi
s?” He put the napkins back on the table. “If it isn’t a joke maybe we should call the police.”
“She’s my friend.”
“I know. I’m sorry. What do you want me to do?”
“Just give me your opinion,” she said. “Do you really think it’s just a joke? If you do, I’ll tell her it’s just a joke.”
Sean opened his mouth, but Nicole cut him off.
“But if it’s not a joke, I’ll feel like you’re being unsupportive and I’ll help Molly whether you help me or not.”
His dark eyebrows lowered over intense blue eyes. “You aren’t doing anything without me.” He slumped. “I’ll help however I can. Meddling female.”
“Overprotective male.”
“You know it.” He came over, picked her up and sat down with her in his lap. “Now eat your burger. You’ll need your strength if you are going vigilante.”
She turned her head away playfully but when he stuck it in her face she took it. “Geez.”
Sean clicked his tongue. “Hey, I think I might know what’s going on,” he said.
“What?”
“Justin!” Sean sat forward, nearly dumping Nicole off his lap, and thumped the table with his fist. “Remember those two are totally weird around each other. And you know Justin is huge on messing with people.”
“Oh. You’re right.” Nicole stood, ignoring his pout, and moved back to her seat. “If it is him … Oh I’m gonna kill him.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s making Molly nervous. That’s not fair, or funny. She’s never nervous. She wouldn’t have sent them to me if she wasn’t.”
“Good point.”
“Can you call him?”
“Woman, I’m eating my burger.”
“Call me woman again and that’s the last thing you’ll be eating for a while.”
“All right, all right.” Sean looked at his fries with longing and then stood and went to the chair by the front door where he’d set his briefcase. He pulled out his phone. He felt slightly ashamed to even have Justin’s number on his phone. Little weirdo. Not that Justin could really be called little, except for being slightly shorter than Sean’s 6’4”, slightly skinnier. Then again Sean ran a dojo and working out was practically his job. He scrolled to the right number in his contacts and dialed. And waited. Justin picked up on the third ring.
“Sean?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s Justin.”
“Yeah.”
“Um. What’s going on?” Justin sounded much flatter than usual. Sean began to worry that he’d been way off with his idea. He wondered if he should even mention this to Justin if that was the case. But he’d told his wife he would check. Happy wife, happy life.
“Have you been messing with Molly?”
“Messing with Molly how?”
“Sending weird emails?”
There was a pause on the phone. “Someone’s been sending Molly weird emails?”
“I thought it was you,” Sean said. “You know how you like to mess with people. And seems like you like her—”
“I do not like her. Not like-like, just friend li—”
“Anyway, forget I said anything. Sorry for bugging you.”
“Oh come on Sean-y. You know I love to hear your sweet voice—”
“Goodbye Justin.”
“Wait, I still want to hear about—”
But Sean hung up and walked back to the kitchen to finish dinner and spend time with his wife.
“What did he say?” Nicole asked. Her burger sat in front of her. Lonely. He needed his wife to just focus on herself.
“It’s not him,” he said. “Justin was clearly shocked.”
“Oh.” Nicole fidgeted.
Sean groaned. “All right look. I’ll have Justin look into the emails. He was some kind of computer whiz before. Is that okay?”
She looked at him with shining eyes.
“All right, I’m going to your computer to forward them to him, and then I’ll call him back.”
“Thank you so much.”
“And when I get back, we are going to snuggle on the couch and NOT think about this.” He turned. “And eat that burger while I’m gone.”
Nicole picked it up with a smile and he smiled back and shook his head.
~~~
Justin stared at the emails Sean had sent. Definitely something wrong here. He didn’t think whoever had written these was just joking.
He had questions; he needed answers. Answers he’d have to call Molly for. He’d rather pull out his molars with his bare hands than call her right now. Like she would want his help. Like she wouldn’t be angry about his interference. And it wasn’t like she’d contacted him since the week before last at the club when she’d promised to let him make it up to her.
She’d broken that promise by not coming to him when this happened. This would have been the perfect way to make it all up to her. To restart their friendship. Clearly she didn’t trust him as much as she had implied.
He stretched back in the chair and reached his arms high. He cocked his head side to side and willed the tension to release from it. Hadn’t she known he was good at tracing IPs, hacking, and other unsavory sides to the career they had once pursued together?
Then again Sean had thought it might be him who was responsible. Maybe she thought the same. Sure, he could be a little playful, but a complete creep who bothered her at work and made her feel unsafe? Never.
He’d need to see Molly’s computer, the original email. She’d never let him. She obviously hadn’t wanted him involved. Too bad. He knew a little something about stalkers. Evil incarnate had stalked him for years.
Maybe he didn’t have to become overtly involved. Maybe if he just became a little more involved in her life she would let him in on her own. He smiled. Then frowned. Just how did he get more involved in her life anyway?
He looked at his phone.
Picked it up.
Dialed.
Waited.
“Hello, this is Nicole.”
“It’s Justin.”
“Oh. Hi Just—”
“Can I have Molly’s number?”
He heard Sean tell Nicole not to give Molly’s number to that whack job, and grinned when Nicole ignored him and gave it to him.
“Did you write that down?”
“I got it.”
“You sure? Don’t call again if you forge—”
“Thank you Nicole.” He hung up. He punched the number into his phone and entered Molly’s name. Then for no reason he could think of, added a smiley face to the end of her name before saving it to his phonebook.
Outside, night was falling, and he knew he’d have to open the club soon. He wasn’t ready to put the Molly problem away and assume his role as host. Maybe he’d take the night off, just this once. Maybe he’d call Jason away from school to sub just this once. He doubted he’d be great company for anyone right now anyway. Too many things stirred up and whirring around.
He opened his phone and saw Molly’s info still on the screen after saving. He hit call. After four rings her answering machine came on. He felt a little relieved.
“Hi Molly. It’s Justin. I feel like ice cream. I was just wondering, I thought you could go with me, if you want, or not. But anyway call me.” He left his number, feeling his face burn bright red, and then slammed the phone down on the desk.
Dang it. He’d sounded like an eleven-year-old asking a girl to his birthday party. He called Jason, who quickly agreed to come watch the club.
He bounced impatiently against the back of his chair. The phone rang. It lit up with Molly’s name and a little smiley face. He swallowed, and reached for it.
“Hello Molly.”
“I’d love to go for ice cream,” the quiet voice on the other side of the phone said.
Justin felt calm come over him, and he couldn’t tell if it was extreme nervousness, or just all of his former feelings of rejection melting out at her simple acceptanc
e of his offer.
“Great. I’ll pick you up.”
She gave him her address. After she hung up he stared at the phone for a moment, turned it over in his hands. He was going out for the night. He turned off the light and walked out of the office.
“I’d love to go for ice cream.” She heard the words like someone else spoke them. Like they’d snuck out of her mouth without her permission.
She glanced at the computer on the other side of the room. She hadn’t checked her email since work, but she’d still felt crawly.
She didn’t even know how far away Justin was, or when he would be there. She looked down at her brown pantsuit she’d worn to work. Maybe she should change. Then again this wasn’t a date, was it? She pushed herself up with the arm of the couch as if heaving the weight of the world up with her. She moved to the bedroom. She watched the carpet as she walked and realized she’d like to replace it. Good serviceable brown, but her life had enough brown. Maybe a nice, dangerous cream that would attract dirt, maybe an orange shag? Maybe a green.
The doorbell rang. Molly turned on the stairs and glared at the door. Where did he live? That was so fast it was almost creepy. She should just leave him on the porch while she got changed. She pulled on the jeans that were closest to her on the floor and dropped her suit pants on the bed.
She grabbed a T-shirt and was about to put that on, when it occurred to her that it could be someone other than Justin at the door. Maybe the stalker. Or maybe the stalker was outside watching and Justin was outside vulnerable on the porch? She put on the T-shirt and hopped down the stairs, swinging on the banister and skipping the last few steps with a large, flying jump that ended in a thud. She checked the keyhole.
Not Justin. Nick from work.
She sighed and opened the door. Nick was still in his work clothes, his hair slightly ruffled. His hands jammed in his pockets. She’d never seen him outside work. Never really seen anyone outside work for that matter.
“Hi,” he said, shaking dark hair off his pale forehead.