by Opal Mellon
She frowned, but did as he asked.
“I don’t like you like that,” he said. He felt sweat gathering at his hairline. “I know you came to the club for me tonight. Your hair…I know it was for me. I still want to be your friend. But I don’t have feelings for you like that.”
She paused then took another step forward, almost close enough to touch him. “Why are you saying this right now?”
“I just thought you should know. Since I’m tied to a chair.”
“Oh,” she said. She leaned back, took a long look over him. Made a face that she probably thought was a leer. “Cause I might be tempted, huh?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know,” he said. “I didn’t mean to lead you on.”
She tilted her head and sighed. “It’s like being told you lost a race you didn’t even enter.”
“I’m sorry I confused you,” he said. “I still want to be your friend Molly. I just wasn’t ready for how quickly you wanted more. I’m just not in a position to give that to anyone. I’m sorry if you thought otherwise.”
She moved forward. Steadily, eyes on him. Like a panther. He winced. She reached his chair, leaned forward over him, her breasts in his view. She reached around his chair. He knew it. He knew she’d wanted that from him.
His wrists came free and she pulled back and moved to work on the bonds at the back of the chair.
“Who said I wanted anything?” She pulled away the last of the bonds and pushed them to the floor.
He sat up, rubbed his wrists. He could hear the cops approaching the door, loud footsteps, and a woman’s protests.
“I, I guess I assumed.” He smiled. “Then again you aren’t like any woman I’ve ever known.”
She folded her arms and let out a deep sigh. “Even if I want something, that doesn’t mean I’ll take it. That’s the difference between me and her.” She nodded towards the door.
“Oh,” he said. She held out a hand and he took it and stood. He looked down at her, enjoyed his height and tried to build back up his image of himself as a man, not a boy. “What do you want then?”
“I don’t know yet,” she said. “Friendship will do for now.” She turned and walked to the door, opened it, and went out.
Justin followed, rubbing the back of his head. Nothing would ever be as simple as it looked with Molly.
Chapter 8
The next day, Molly walked the beach with Jason. So different from another time she’d walked the beach. Jason’s linen shirt ruffled slightly in the wind, a light peachy color. She looked from the shirt, to his neck, the smooth beige of his face.
“So what exactly is going on with you and Justin?”
Molly turned away from the boardwalk and looked out to the water. The water seemed darker here, dirtier. The sky grayer in the background. Too cold to swim in. Fall approaching. She let out the last of her breath and felt her chest compress.
She felt Jason’s hand around her waist.
“Oh come on,” he said. “I think it’s fair that I know.” He gave her a small pull against him. She swallowed, but pushed slightly off to bounce out of arm’s reach.
“You think you’re pretty smooth at this host thing, don’t you?”
He put his hands in his pockets, and looked over at her, swishing his auburn hair off his forehead in a way she was sure was calculated. “Of course. I’m the original.”
That explained the lines he had that Justin didn’t. “How old are you?”
“Now, a lady would never ask that.”
“I don’t care,” she said. “I thought Justin was the original.”
“Sure,” he said, putting his arm out again. “One of the original hosts. But it was me who helped Hope come up with the idea. I used to host in Japan.”
“You did?” She tried to picture him there, all white and auburn.
“I was a novelty,” he said. “So I’ve been doing this a long time. You get tired of it at some point though. I’m tired of it.”
She let his arm stay because she was interested in hearing more. “So you and Hope founded it and Justin was the first host?”
“Well there was another founder. Hope’s brother Chandler,” he said. “Hope you never meet him.”
“Why?” Molly reached tentatively out to put a hand around Jason. She needed to start seeing this sort of thing as normal. Justin wanted her to move on. More than that, she wanted to move on.
“Really unpleasant,” he said. “He’s the business end. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth. All numbers and suits.” Jason paused and turned her to the beach. He pulled Molly in front of him and clasped his arms around her.
“Why me?” she said. “You barely know me. Why are you doing this?”
“I’m not sure,” he said. He dropped his head to her shoulder. “It just feels right.”
Molly didn’t argue. She thought back to punching Valerie. She should call Justin and make sure things went okay after the arrest. Make sure he was doing okay. But he had backed her off. Even tied to a chair, had been concerned she’d get too close. Best to show him that she knew he could handle things, and that she could be romantic with whomever she chose.
“Is this just about Justin?” she said. Jason’s nose tickled her neck, and sent an uncomfortable crawling feeling down her back.
“Maybe it started like that,” he said. “But there’s something about the way you listen. Something refreshing.”
She pushed away from him. “Can we sit?” She plopped down. The sand was harder than she’d expected, and a little wet. Jason sat down too. He watched the water for a moment, hands draped over his knees.
“Do you wear contacts?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “The glasses are part of the act.” He pointed out to a surfer in the waves. “I can see the stripes on that red surfboard.”
Molly squinted. She closed her bad eye, but still couldn’t make out much more than a blur. “So you pretend you can’t see?”
“I play the cool, smart character,” he said. “Women like to imagine that a man has a weakness.”
“And you don’t have a real weakness?” she said. She thought of Justin, tied to a chair, telling her he didn’t want her like that.
“Nothing that visible,” he said. “Sometimes you have to make a visible weakness to hide a real weakness. One that is less attractive.”
She mimicked his relaxed pose to see if it relaxed her too.
“See?” he said. “That’s what I like about you. You don’t want to know. You don’t want to dig. You just want to take things at face value. You’d be a much better match with me than Justin.”
“I’m not sure I’m a match with either.” She turned to him. “You meet plenty of women. Hook up with one of them. I’m not stupid.”
He laughed. “You’d be surprised. All I meet are the women at the club. Women looking for something I’m not. Not really. Not when I’m outside the club.” He rolled up his cuffs and leaned back on his hands. “It’s nice to see a friend there. I don’t talk to women much outside the club. And what am I supposed to say about my profession? I’ve been a host since I was a teenager.”
Molly tried to picture it. “How did you end up in Japan?”
“Not important.” His shoulders tensed and she looked down to his hands that clenched in the sand.
“So you want to be friends then?” she asked.
“Sure,” he said.
“You hosts have a different idea of friendship.” She brought her knees in and curled over them. “Why is it all of you want to be my friend?”
“I don’t know that two is everyone,” he said. “Maybe since Justin and I are both hardened vets, it’s nice to be with someone innocent.”
“Well stop touching me,” she said. “I don’t touch my friends. I don’t really like it.”
“Okay,” he said. “See that right there makes you different.”
“You need to get out of the club and meet other women,” she said. “Get a real job.”
He shru
gged. “Like engineering?” he asked. “Something you do nine to five and don’t think about once you’re home?”
“I …” She thought for a moment. “I guess so.”
“Well, you need to do something other than work.” He poked her shoulder. “What do you do other than engineer and come to the club?”
Go out with Justin. Think about Justin. Go places with Nicole. Other than that, things were pretty empty.
“I think we’re a good fit,” he said. “When you’ve pleased thousands of women, you start to read them instinctively. I know you’re looking for romance, for someone to be with. I’m looking for a bit of normalcy.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know that I’m normal. I beat up a woman yesterday.”
Jason’s eyebrows pressed down. “What?”
“Never mind,” she said. “You should have seen me in college. So awkward.”
“Is that when you met Justin?” He asked.
“Can we not talk about him?” The waves felt boring to her now, repetitious. “I don’t know why people keep assuming he wants me, but he doesn’t.”
“Right from the horse’s mouth eh?”
“Yup.” She pushed her bottom lip around with her top one. “So that’s that.”
“So what do you do now?” He said. “Because there happens to be a lonely, very interesting, about-to-retire version of Justin right here that is willing to hang out.”
“You aren’t anything like him.”
“We’re men in the sex industry. That’s more similar than you think.”
She considered it. She pressed a finger against the fullest part of her bottom lip. “I don’t know. I think it depends on the reasons. The context.”
“And that is why I could just talk to you all day.” He leaned against her, bumped her shoulder with his, and sat back up. She bumped him back. They smiled.
~~~
Molly was surprised to get a call from Justin later that night. She’d assumed he’d need more time to rest.
“Hello?”
“Molly.”
“Justin.” She sank onto the couch and rubbed her forehead till the tension receded. “How are you doing?”
“Fine,” he said. “All things considered.”
“Great.”
She didn’t feel like saying anything. He’d made her life too complicated. She was the type that could float through, never thinking about the under layers of life. It might be a good thing to change that, but it didn’t feel comfortable. “What do you need Justin?”
“Whoa, I’m your friend. Can’t I just call?”
Good point.
“Anyway, I just called to say thanks for what you did. That was amazing. I thought maybe, to you know, pay you back, we could go out Saturday.”
Oh no he didn’t. Molly flattened her lips and clamped down the anger that rose in her chest. It was one thing to act so scared of her that when she came to untie him he insisted she couldn’t be more than a friend. It was another to ask her out on a pity date after. How much was he assuming about what she wanted?
“Oh Justin.” She dug her nails into her thighs and prayed for patience. “How can you be so bad with women?”
“What? What do you mean?”
“When did I say I wanted to date you?”
“Didn’t you kiss me?”
“You kissed me.”
“Right, but …” He was quiet for a moment. “Do you not?”
“No,” she said.
“Why?”
She could hear something in his voice that said he was hurt, but she was tired of trying to read all the undertones.
“Why would I?”
“Because I’m … I don't know.”
Molly wished this awkward call would end.
“Well, then can I at least take you to dinner Saturday?” he asked. “As friends.”
“I …” She thought about whether she should, then remembered. “Actually I’m busy. I have a date that night.”
“You do?”
Why did he have to sound so surprised?
“With who?”
“None of your business.”
“Okay. Is it Jason?”
“Yes.”
“He’s a good guy.”
“I guess.” Molly pulled the phone back and looked at the minute count on the screen.
“Then how about Friday?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Molly, if you don’t want to date me, how come you seem so hurt?”
“I’m not. I’m just offended you think that I need a pity date. Or that you have to tell me you don’t want me like that. You’re confusing me.”
“Okay Molly. All stakes on the table. I promise to keep it simple. I promise not to get feelings like that. Promise not to act out of line again.”
Somehow it wasn’t the promise she wanted, but she’d accept it as an honest attempt to at least stop playing with her mind. “All right. Friday.”
“Can’t wait.”
“What will we do?”
“Whatever we want. Dinner. Anime?”
She laughed, quietly, away from the phone so it didn’t make an awkward swishy sound in the speaker.
“All right. Deal.”
“All right.”
Chapter 9
Justin couldn’t help smiling as he watched Molly flop in a green microsuede chair. She got a little scrunched up look that let him know she was thinking it over.
“So what does your bony butt think about it?”
“It’s not bony,” she said.
Justin shrugged. He tried to squish in the chair with her, and she flushed and jumped out.
“There is not enough room for that.”
“I know,” he said. “I like this one. Not the color though.”
Molly looked at the tag. “Not the price either.”
Justin coughed. “Actually, that’s not a problem.”
She looked with just her eyes away from the price tag at him. “Really?”
“Sure. Not that it’s any of your business but I’m pretty loaded.”
“How’s that?” She moved to another couch. Light brown. Of course. She sat down, ran her hands along the arms.
“Just been a lot of years saving,” he said. “Being a host pays well. Been squirreling it all away for years. Waiting in case I needed to disappear.”
“And now you don’t think you’ll need to?” She bounced lightly a couple of times on the cushions.
“I think so,” he said. “I mean, I had already decided not to run this time. Before she even showed up.” He leaned back in the couch and looked up at the high ceiling. A surprising amount of dust for an upscale store. “After telling you.”
“Really?” she said. “I’ve never seen your place. Is it a dump then?”
“Yeah,” he said. She looked shocked. “I guess it kind of is.”
She scooted over on her couch and peeked her eyes over the top of the arm. “You know what we should do? Find the most expensive couch in here.”
The thought made him light up. He felt like he’d been promised a day at Disneyland. He hadn’t thought about all the things he could do now that he could be normal.
“I wonder how much that would be?” He slapped his hands down on his knees. “But I think I can think of better things to do with my money. I can do the things I didn’t get to as a kid. I can help people too.”
“Money goes faster than you think,” she said. “Be careful.”
“It’s not like I quit my job,” he said. “And I’m going to be an engineer, if I want to, in another couple years.” He ran a hand over the green fibers and made a little picture in the fuzz. “That’s if I go part time.”
“Well, I still want to see your place,” she said. She stood, rubbed her arms.
“Sorry I didn’t bring a jacket,” he said.
“It’s my fault,” she said. “I didn’t bring one either.”
He stood. “I’m sorry I brought you couch shopping on our
date.”
“We’re friends, remember?” She pushed him ahead of her towards the door. “That’s what friends do. They also show other friends their house.”
Suddenly he wanted to. Wanted her to see all of it, the gray dull parts he couldn’t show a woman he was interested in. If he truly trusted her to be just a friend, he should be able to show things he’d show a guy friend. She shouldn’t care about his box ottoman, or his dirty old couches.
“Let’s go to my place then,” he said. “Let’s stop for snacks first though. And maybe we should pick up one of your animes?”
“Sure,” she said. She reached in her bag. He tried not to laugh at its size as she rummaged in it like a bag lady. “But I actually brought one, since you said you wanted to see one?”
“Oh, so you were hoping to come to my place tonight?”
“Sure,” she said. “Mine feels lonely. I’m tired of being there. Besides you’ve seen it.” She put the DVD back in her purse. “Plus I’m even more excited now that you’ve said it’s a dump.”
Okay, maybe dump was a strong word. At least she couldn’t be disappointed now.
But when Justin went to unlock the door, snacks in grocery bags hanging from his wrists as he held the lock, he had second thoughts. We’re just friends, he reminded himself. It doesn’t matter what she thinks. Friends should just accept you. He put the key in and turned it. He hefted up the bags to push it open but Molly pushed in front of him and moved into the house ahead of him.
“Hey—” He followed her, wishing his hands weren’t busy so he could pull her back by her arm. “I haven’t—”
“I like it,” she said, walking through the living room, looking at the walls, and then moving into the kitchen. She moved to a couch, brushed it off with her hand, looked at her hand, and sat. “I don’t know why you called this a dump,” she said. “It’s actually pretty neat. The couches are old, but not gross. Comfy too.”
“Watch out, they’ll eat you right up.”
“I can see that.” She laughed, trying to pull up so that she didn’t sink completely into the back of it.
He laughed because she looked small and it looked like the couch was winning whatever battle they were engaged in.