Season of Sacrifice (Blood of Azure Book 1)

by Jonathan Michael

  “Being pummeled, sir?”

  “Has this ever happened to you before?” he asks again.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir. I was simply defending myself the only way I knew how.”

  “What did you say your name was?”

  “Elder, sir. Elder Alderock.”

  “This session is over. You’re dismissed,” he calls out to the rest of the class.

  They disassemble, all except for the two others in the ring and Astor, who waits patiently outside the ring. The boy who remains standing helps the other to his feet. Both give me extended glares before removing themselves from the arena.

  “We must talk.”

  I look over to Astor, not really knowing why, but I guess to seek guidance for what I should expect from this strange man.

  “Alone,” he adds. “Later. I will find you. You’re dismissed.”

  They were my foremost and trusted colleagues in the beginning. I respected, envied, and trusted their knowledge and judgment. They held me to a higher standard. But I was weak. I laid out my naked soul, and they accused me.

  31 Jaymes

  T he dark water rushes along the bank, reflecting the star-filled sky. The eerie evergreens bordering the river’s edge speak in whispers. The mesmerizing flame crackles. It all makes for a peaceful evening. It reminds me of home. What I can remember of home. We ventured near it only two fortnights ago on our journey north to Navimar. Or rather, as near to it as I’ve been in four seasons. I don’t know if I’ve ever been to the Taiga region. Certainly not to Navimar. I sit silently and take it all in as if it will be my last night. Because it might be.

  Ellia remains silent as well. She must do this alone often. She hardly acknowledges my presence except for a glare here and there. Persia is curled up at the base of a tree, invisible to my eyes. The only reason I know she’s there is because I watched her slink away from the fire in that direction and make a gentle rustle in the undergrowth. And occasionally, I witness a soft yellow glimmer when she peers through a half-opened eye to check on us.

  I pull my stick from the flames. Savory juices drip from the rabbit meat on the end of the stick. I sink my teeth into it, realizing this is what I had been missing in the Broken Forest. Fish, it was always fish. I wonder if those boys were intentionally lame hunters. Ellia and I have been eating like royalty for the past few weeks, for the entire duration of our excursion. Venison in the Great Oak Forest. Poultry stolen from a farm along the eastern Taiga border. Speared frog legs as we passed through the swampland north of the Scarlet where the northern Ceruleans tower in the distance. There isn’t a night we’ve gone hungry. If it lives, she knows how to take its life.

  And our mission culminates tomorrow, where she will take another. The thought pulls me away from the joyous flavors.

  “What can I expect tomorrow?”

  “Pain and suffering,” Ellia starts with a solemn voice. “You are about to experience a small portion of it. Have you ever killed?”

  “Uh…umm…n-no,” I’m unsure if I should lie about it or not. “Countless beasts and wild game.” I hold the stick up with a smile.

  “It’s not the same. Have you ever had to kill one of your own companions? A domesticated beast, such as a horse, a tiger, a dog?”

  “No. My father was always responsible for cutting lives short. He would comfort me by telling me they had served their living purpose in this world, and it was time for them to serve Azure by dying. But I knew he was lying to protect me.”

  “Your father sheltered you. Most do. His lies weren’t far from the truth.” She takes a long pause, staring into the flames. “But when you kill a beast, you don’t have to take the next step of burying them in the ground.”

  “A few,” I interject. “We would butcher the horses and pigs, but we never ate the tigers.”

  “You should,” Ellia replies. “It’s a tender meat. Melts in your mouth.” She wets her lips. “It is different taking the life of something you care for or, even more so, killing something that can think and feel just as you do. I’m sure you’ve heard this by many adults in your lifetime, but killing a person will change you forever.”

  “No. Not really. I’ve never discussed killing another person with anyone. You’re the first.”

  Ellia’s dark features glow in the amber light. Her one green eye, the only one she reveals, callouses me. If I’m going to be the Shadow’s shadow, maybe it’s time for me to commit to holding my tongue or at least changing my tone so she doesn’t think I’m mocking her. Ellia remains seated, thankfully, and continues speaking.

  “You think losing those close to you is pain, but it doesn’t compare to what you will feel after personally taking another life. Physical pain is bearable. Your body heals. Mental anguish from a loss is worse, but time will heal it. Mental pain from images that cannot be unseen or acts that cannot be undone is true pain that lasts forever. A Lahyf cannot heal it. Time cannot erase it. It never heals. Each life you take will carve out a piece of your soul and replace it with death, leaving your mind and body tainted forever. The first one is the worst, and over time, each one will take less and less of your soul. But if you lead the life I have, you will be left with only a sliver of yourself. A sliver only capable of getting sharper that will forever be piercing your heart until your days end. Or maybe beyond, depending on your beliefs. Over time you will grow numb, but the first one is different. The first one will stick with you forever, so make it count.”

  “I’m… I’m going to kill somebody tomorrow?” An unrecognizable high-pitched voice squeaks out of me.

  “Better to start while you’re young. It’s much easier to build up the courage for the risks you’re going to encounter than when you’re older and have more to lose. You said you wanted to learn, did you not?”

  “Yeah, but I thought learning would consist of training behind closed doors. A safe environment, you know? A place for me to make as many mistakes as I wanted. The typical kind of training. You’re putting me in a real situation and risking my life.” Susy’s shits! She’s going to have me kill someone? No way. No, she isn’t. That would be ludicrous.

  “The greatest soldiers are produced from war. A master of weapons exists only with death. And a stealthy and vigilant assassin forms within the shadows. You are going to become all three. You cannot take this lightly. It’s the only way I will teach you. Think of it this way. If you die tomorrow, your pain and suffering will be short. Remember, there is a bright side to every dark shadow. Sometimes, you just have to view it from a different angle.”

  Fuck! I’m going to kill someone tomorrow!

  “You’re really doing this? I’m going to become an assassin tomorrow? Without any training? I don’t have the slightest clue how to kill someone. What if I freeze up? What if I can’t do it?”

  “Then, you die. Would you rather me leave you with the Taoiseach?”

  I shake my head. “I’d rather you leave me with Elder.”

  Ellia glares at me but doesn’t say anything.

  I press my hands against the heat of the fire as a chill creeps through me. They allowed Elder to live in the Martelli Manor all these seasons. And he isn’t forced to go on these excursions with an assassin. He isn’t forced to kill. Will it be a poison dart? Will it be a blade? I raise my hands to my face. Will it be done with these? Am I going to have to press my hands, flesh against flesh, and take this pour soul’s life? I’m not ready. If this is what it takes to claim my independence, I don’t know if I want it. A long silence takes us. My stomach curdles with unease. I need to lose these thoughts, but it’s too late. I spill into the underbrush and let out the contents of my stomach.

  Ellia remains seated by the fire, unconcerned with my wellbeing. I lie in the bush for a moment before I return to the heat.

  “I’m scared. I mean…”

  “As you should be. Fear will spark your talents. Fear will trigger your instincts. Fear will keep you alive.”

  “Are you afraid?
”

  “No.”

  Of course she isn’t. I’ve watched her take several lives already, and I’ve known her maybe three months or so. “How many?”

  Ellia’s brow lifts. “Lives?”

  “Kills, yes. Or lives you’ve taken. Whatever.”

  “Too many.” Her gaze shifts back to the flames. “Too many to count.”

  “Do you remember your first?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you—”

  “What’s with all the questions?” Ellia rises to her feet. Clearly heated. And not from the flames on this warm summer night. “Enough!” She scoots out of the firelight and into the shadows. Somewhere near Persia.

  “I—I’m sorry. It’s just that…I need to know what to feel right now. Or I need to know what it will be like tomorrow. Or I need… I don’t know what I need. I’m just afraid, okay?”

  A quiet moment passes before I see her figure reappear in the firelight. She sits back down.

  “When I was a child, several seasons after the Taoiseach took me under his wing, he began my training. I was thirteen. From the beginning, he taught me that men are weak. And I had an upper hand in this world with my sex alone. I’ve maintained that mentality since then and found it to be mostly true. My first kill was that same season. I was terrified. And it was certainly memorable but for different reasons.”

  “For reasons other than taking someone’s life?”

  “There were several of them. I don’t remember how many. Those details are irrelevant. The jarring effects of that night are the catalyst of my life. I was raped. I made certain that man lost his ability to do it again before I took his life. And I’ve made certain many others after that night have seen the same fate. But the part I regret is that I didn’t stick around to see if he actually died. Back then, I was certain. Knowing what I know today, he could still be walking the streets. It was Elder who whisked me away from the scene. That was the night I met him. That was the night I realized not all men are weak. Most of them, maybe. Like the lowlife that raped me. But not Elder. Like the Taoiseach, he is a man worth shadowing.”

  “Elder? That’s why the Taoiseach didn’t execute him? Because of you?”

  She gives a curt nod, barely visible in the firelight.

  And Ellia is the reason I’m alive today. The Taoiseach would have executed me if not for her. But she lives a life in the shadows. Is that worth following? She’s a nobody.

  “Does anyone even know you exist?” I ask.

  “Only those that need to. Nobody…” Her glare stabs at me. “…is a good person to be. Nobody can get you into a tight place where you shouldn’t be. Nobody must answer to only one. Nobody has only one to fail. Nobody has control that nobody else could possibly understand.”

  “But somebody has all that plus more. A life.”

  “You’d rather be nobody than somebody. Trust me.”

  “How would you know? You’re just a nobody.”

  Her open palms slaps across my face. My cheek radiates with pain.

  “One of these days you’ll learn that sassing me, or ‘nobody’ for that matter, is not a wise thing to do. A wise and disciplined Shadow is an alive Shadow.”

  I didn’t think it possible, but Ellia’s glow in the campfire turns a scant darker. Her strength is admirable. However, moments like this make me wonder who I’m truly shadowing.

  “I was somebody once,” Ellia continues in a gentler tone. “I wasn’t always the Taoiseach’s Shadow. I was in the top of my class throughout my studies at the Academy, and I had enough friends. After I graduated, I joined the Solite. I gained ranks quickly during my short-lived time there until the day I watched the General die.”

  “The General? You mean…General Greyson?” I ask.

  “Yes. Did you know him?”

  “No, but I know somebody who did. Somebody who would care to know.”

  “Maybe if you survive tomorrow, you’ll find another day to tell him.”

  “Yeah, maybe.” I miss Goose. And Stone. It would be nice to have them by my side right now. “Did you enjoy it? Your life before the shadows?”

  “I was brought up in a vicious gauntlet of brutality, enduring rigorous tests day in and day out only to become a weapon in the eyes of a man that I accepted as my father. But…I was still capable of a smile from time to time. Truthfully, I accepted the role of Shadow the day he accepted me into his home. It’s what he raised me for. What he doesn’t know is with his training I am capable of far more than he will ever anticipate. The seasons are going to change for the better. If you do as you’re told and train hard, you will have your opportunity to slay the Taoiseach. I promise you that.”

  Slay the Taoiseach? But he was like a father to her. She is messed up in the worst way. I remain silent for some time, unsure how to respond. And I force thoughts from my head as well, if only to keep Ellia out of my head. Ellia accepts the silence.

  “Why?” I whisper.

  “Why?” Ellia repeats, her brow raised.

  “Why are we going to kill somebody?”

  “That is a broad question for which the answer goes much deeper than you would ever understand. You are not ready for the answer just yet. Ask me again later, and I might give you an answer.”

  “How do you expect me to kill somebody without knowing why I’m doing it? It would be helpful to know if they’re a murderer or bad person in some way before I follow through with it. I’m not saying I can’t kill a person, but I can’t do it without knowing why they need to die first.” But can I?

  “That is the test, isn’t it? You ought to figure out how, or you won’t last long. You made a commitment to shadow me, and this is your first lesson. When the time comes to make the decision, I believe you’ll make the right one.”

  The remainder of the evening is silent except for the once calming, now unnerving, sounds of twilight. Ellia has painted the night a shade darker for me. How does she manage to accomplish the impossible?

  Morning couldn’t have come sooner. The anticipation of the new day feels like a rock tumbling around in my gut. Sleep was minimal. I’d much like to have it done and over with right now.

  The morning air is unusually cool and damp. A thick fog manifested overnight, brewing off the nearby river and allowing for limited visibility. It’s not unheard of, but misty mornings are typically an autumnal thing, not a mid-summer thing. An aura perhaps? I wonder if Ellia always has gloom surrounding her.

  “Your god is looking over us this cool morning,” Ellia sounds out as she slowly appears from behind a dark curtain of fog.

  Had she been wearing a phantom gown, I would have thought her my mother coming to haunt me. The day is idling just behind the mountains and hasn’t quite revealed itself. Ellia’s preparedness tells me she’s been awake for some time.

  She’s underdressed on this unusually cool morning. In addition to her trademark eye covering, she merely wears her warm-weather assassins’ garb, consisting of a light-grey cross-sash trimmed with silky, midnight-red lace and fitted, light-grey leggings. As she moves closer, I can see from the goose prickles strewn across her chest and arms that she does indeed have feelings. Physical feelings anyhow.

  Fortunately for me, my youthful figure doesn’t fill out the assassin’s garb the same as hers, so I have something a bit less revealing.

  “My god? I never fully understood the teachings of Susy,” I reply. “And how’s he looking over us?”

  “The fog. It’s our ally. If I had carried out this mission solo, I would have done so before the sun awoke. Talented you may be, but you’re not skilled. Not in the slightest. Your talent requires too much fine-tuning, and I’d be doing you no good by sending you out to slay in the dark. Might as well slit your throat where you stand. With night comes silence and easy alarm. People spook in the night. Which is why we do this while the sun watches over us. And the fog offers us night’s stealth.”

  I don’t know what to say to the comment. It’s apparent I’m dragging her down,
but she has me tagging along for a reason. She must believe I have potential, or I wouldn’t be here. Would I? I wouldn’t even be alive right now. I should be grateful to her, I suppose, for giving me a life to live. Although…she was the one who stole my life in the first place.

  “What do you mean ‘while the sun watches over us’? It’s dark.”

  She rolls her eye but, thankfully, nothing more. “A true assassin hunts in the dark. The rising light is a crutch I will allow only temporarily so this doesn’t end fatally for you.”

  “So why not do it in the evening when your guaranteed concealment as it gets darker?”

  “The fading light is more of a burden. The blues and indigos show themselves first in the early hours. Those colors are easier on your dark eyes. Believe me, I know."

  She lifts her eye patch, revealing her hidden eye. Hard to see in the dark, but it’s near black. Maybe the different hues of light obscure her vision differently depending whether she has one covered or not.

  "The opposite is true for the fading light. It works against your eyes. The light lingers longer and blurs the visual senses. I wouldn’t recommend targeting a kill in the evening light. Assuming you survive this, we will work in the shadows on the next.”

  We gather our belongings and wipe away any evidence of our existence at the camp before the warmth of the sun touches the treetops surrounding us. Ellia stares at Persia for several moments without word or a sound of any kind. And then Persia just runs off. Ellia grabs her claymore from where she slept and trots off in a different direction. What was that? Some form of bond between her and the cat? I don’t have time to dwell on it as Ellia speeds away with me in the chase.

  The fog evaporates too quickly, and our stealth with it. Navimar reveals itself as we come to a peak on the trail. This is it. It’s time. It’s time to take the next step and emancipate myself from my past. It is time to take on the shadow.