Grumpy Doctor

by B. B. Hamel

  I took a deep, steadying breath. “You know what happened.”

  “Of course I do,” she said, her tone getting sharp. “Come on, Piers. How many times have I warned you? How many times? I keep telling you, over and over, you have to play the game. You have to be polite. Smile at the admins, be nice, shake hands, go to the fundraisers. Do your part.”

  “I don’t care about any of that,” I said, clenching my jaw. “I want to save lives.”

  “This is how you save lives,” she said. “You stay employed.”

  “What happened to my files, Gina?”

  “Caroline ordered it,” she said, spreading her hands wide. “I couldn’t do a damn thing about it, even though I told her that it was a mistake.”

  “She took them?” I shook my head, confused. “That doesn’t make sense.”

  “For the lawsuit. They’re looking for anything they can use.”

  “To help me?”

  She made an uncertain face. “Frankly, Piers, I’m not so sure anymore. You’ve pissed off a lot of people.”

  “A lot of admins,” I said, trying to keep the snarl from my tone. “But how many good patient reviews have I gotten? How many lives have I saved?”

  “Like I said, you have to play the game.”

  “This isn’t a game,” I said. “These are real, human lives at stake. I don’t do politics, I don’t do bullshit. I save all that energy for my patients.”

  “A man died because of you, and a family is in chaos.”

  “A rich man died because he took a risk,” I corrected. “And their family is in chaos because they’re morons. You think any of this would matter if they didn’t have all that damn money?”

  “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “It matters, and they do. I don’t like this either, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Goddamn it, this sets such a bad precedent. None of the doctors are going to be happy about it.”

  “Good,” I said, turning to the door. “Maybe then you people will get off your asses and help one of your own. I’m out there saving lives in the goddamn trenches every day, while Caroline and the administrators sit in their little air-conditioned offices, making money and pretending to be important.”

  “It’s not that simple,” Gina said, but by then I wasn’t listening, because in my mind, it was that simple.

  I was a doctor. I healed patients, and that was all I did, all I cared about. Gina wanted me to play some other game, some meta game where I made the hospital admins happy, except they didn’t matter, not really. I couldn’t stoop to that level, even if I wanted to.

  I stormed back to my office, raging on the inside. All my notes were gone, which would have been a problem if I didn’t have backups on my computer at least. I had procedures today, and I needed those notes and those charts to properly prepare. Taking away my files like that was incredibly dangerous, and yet nobody was going to do a damned thing about it—because they were cowards, all afraid of their jobs, afraid of the system.

  I found Lori lingering near my desk. She looked up, her eyes wide, holding a coffee in each hand. I took mine from her and slumped down into my chair.

  “What happened?” she asked.

  “Caroline,” I said, logging into my personal laptop and pulling up the notes I’d need for the afternoon. Luckily, I had some backup copies saved—but only for my most recent procedures. I kept everything else at work.

  “I don’t understand. All your stuff is missing.”

  “I know.” I hit print, then slammed my fist down onto the desk.

  Lori jumped. I looked up at her and softened. She looked almost as bad as I felt: bags under her eyes, stray hairs flying away from the tight bun on the back of her head. Maybe I was pushing her too hard. I needed to give her a break at some point.

  Not yet though. I’d need her to get through today.

  “They’re trying to push me out,” I said. “Some part of me thinks they want me to make a mistake.”

  “That’s crazy. If you make a mistake, someone could die. They wouldn’t risk that.”

  I laughed bitterly. “They might. You think Caroline gives a damn about someone dying? They’re nothing more than a line item on a budget to her.”

  Lori looked uncomfortable. She walked to the other side of the room and stopped, leaning up against the empty filing cabinet. “I met with my cousin yesterday.”

  I swiveled toward her, sipping my coffee. It was hot and good—one thing I could enjoy, at least. “How’d that go?”

  “He encouraged me to leave this hospital,” she said. “Leave you, in particular.”

  I smiled slightly, head tilted. “You fished your wish.”

  “No,” she said. “I turned him down. I’m not going anywhere.”

  I narrowed my eyes. I wasn’t sure why she’d do that—she’d made it clear from the start that she thought I was a total bastard. And yet maybe our little deal mattered to her more than I realized. She knew I was the best damn surgeon in this area, regardless of my sterling personality and my legal issues. She could learn a lot from me.

  Or maybe it was something else. Something neither of us were willing to vocalize.

  “What else did he say?” I asked.

  “He seems to think he knows something,” she said. “He was very sure that you were going to lose your lawsuit.”

  “He doesn’t know a thing,” I said, shaking my head. “Probably listening too much to Robert Tippett in the yacht club.”

  “I asked him that, and he said it wasn’t from Robert.” She looked shaken, and I realized that what I thought was simple fatigue was actually something more. She was anxious about this, clearly worried, and I suddenly felt extreme guilty for pulling her into this mess.

  She didn’t have to be a part of it. The Tippetts wanted to use her against me, and I wanted to use her as a positive reference during the trial. Everyone wanted to pull her in their own direction—including me.

  I stood up suddenly. “This isn’t fair,” I said.

  “I know, but—”

  “No, it’s not fair for you.” I stared at her and felt my hands turn into fists. “You should go. Take whatever job your cousin offered or whatever.”

  “What?” Her eyes went wide. “No, I already turned him down. I don’t want to go anywhere.”

  I walked past her, fingering the cell phone in my pocket. She followed, calling my name, but I ignored her and kept walking. I reached the stairs and hurried down. Her footsteps echoed against the concrete, practically jogging to keep up. I reached the lobby, went outside, and stood in the early morning sunshine, still in the shadow of the buildings, as I took out my phone and dialed a number.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, but I turned, ignoring her.

  Robert Tippett answered on the second ring. “Hello, Dr. Hood,” he said, sounding pleased to hear from me. “I didn’t expect your call today. I almost didn’t answer.”

  “I’m glad you did.” I glanced at Lori, and realized I had to do something to stop this. Even if it meant getting screwed in the end, she didn’t deserve to get screwed along with me. I was toxic, and if she weren’t careful, she’d end up with an awful reputation right alongside me. I couldn’t allow my stink to rub off on her. “I want to negotiate.”

  Robert sounded amused. “Negotiate? Now? It seems late for that.”

  “Who are you talking to?” Lori hissed at me.

  I waved her away and paced toward the benches lining the path that wound its way around the building. “What do you want, Robert? I know this isn’t about money. Is it about revenge? Is that why you want to sue me?”

  “Get off the phone with him,” Lori said. “Seriously, Piers, I know you’re mad—”

  “It’s not revenge,” Robert said. “Please, why would it be about something so simple?”

  “Then I don’t understand what you stand to gain by ruining me. You know I tried to save your father in good faith.”

  “I know,” he said, sounding almost sad about it. “Here’s
the thing. None of this is about you, not really. I mean, you’re convenient, almost comically so. Did you know that everyone sort of hates you at that hospital?”

  “I don’t care about that,” I said.

  “Oh, I know you don’t, which is astonishing. But truly, everyone does. All your peers are jealous of your talent and the accolades you’ve gotten, and the admins are sick of your bad attitude. You couldn’t have made this simpler.”

  Lori waves her arms at me, trying to get my attention, but I kept turning from her, walking in a zig-zag pattern to keep her from my sight. “I understand I’m difficult to work with,” I said. “Thank you for that reminder.”

  “I know, I know, you don’t need to hear it, I’m just amazed. See, here’s the thing, this isn’t really about you, it’s about me and my family. It’s true that my father didn’t get his affairs in order, but also not entirely. He did have a will, though a very old one, and if I’m going to get it negated, and somehow show that he meant to leave me his companies instead of my sister, then I’m going to need to show that he thought there’d be more time to make those changes. You’re simply one piece in that puzzle.”

  I felt like the earth was moving beneath my feel. I stopped and leaned up against the concrete wall of the hospital while Lori stood close to me, one hand on my shoulder, peering into my face. She looked concerned, but I could barely see her.

  It was all a game to him. That disgusting bastard was using me, preparing to destroy my career, all so that he could create some false narrative about his father’s last wishes. He was a greedy psychopath, and I’d somehow fallen in his way, a useful pawn. And when his game was over, he’d discard me, toss me back into the dark.

  “That’s not going to work,” I said. “They’ll see through it.”

  “All I need to do is show that my father thought he had more time. That’s your only purpose. Sorry about that, honestly, I really am. But if I can show that my father planned on living longer, then I can use the rest of my evidence to prove he was going to make me his heir, but never got that chance.”

  “And is the rest of your evidence real?”

  He laughed, low and malicious. “Sorry again, Dr. Hood. No hard feelings, really. But I’ve got to go, meetings and all.”

  “Robert,” I said, but he hung up.

  I stared at my phone.

  “Are you okay?” Lori asked. “What happened?”

  “He’s using me,” I said. “It’s all some game to him.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  I reached out to her and pulled her against me. I hugged her tight, not caring about the people walking nearby. It didn’t matter what they thought of me, not anymore, because regardless of what I did, I’d still get screwed by someone with more power than sense.

  She looked up into my eyes when I relaxed my grip, then parted her lips as I kissed her.

  I held that kiss for a long moment, pulling away with an almost regretful pang in my chest.

  “Piers,” she said gently, touching my cheek.

  “He’s using me to prove that his father planned on living longer. It’s all part of some bigger, complicated scheme to wrestle control of his father’s companies away from his sister.”

  “Did he say that?”

  I nodded and took her hand. I held it between both of mine, running my fingertips down her palm. “It doesn’t matter what I do or say. He’s going to find a way to destroy me, all for his own personal gain.”

  “We can’t let that happen.” She pulled her hand away. “Piers. We can’t let that happen.”

  “I bet your cousin knows about it,” I said. “That’s what he was trying to warn you about. It doesn’t matter whether I’m guilty or not. Tippett is rich enough to buy a goddamn judge if he needs to, and in the course of burning me down, you might get burned, too.”

  “I already told you I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Maybe you should.”

  The look of hurt and anger she gave me was even worse than the conversation with Robert. She pulled away, walked a few feet further down the path, then turned.

  “It’s not all about you,” she said. “You’re not the only person that suffers. You’re not the only one that gets to make decisions.”

  “I know that. But you don’t have to be a part of this anymore. I’ve taught you a lot, you can—”

  “Piers,” she said, voice heavy with anger. “Suck it up.”

  I took a step back. “What?”

  “Suck it up,” she said. “You can still fight this. I know what you just heard was awful, and I’m sure you’re pissed off, but you can fight this. You don’t have to let him roll over you.”

  “I’m not,” I said, blinking at her, feeling my own anger rise in kind. I didn’t know what she thought she was doing, but it wouldn’t work. “I’m not going to go down without a fight.”

  “Then stop trying to push me away. I’m not going to take the bait. We have a deal, and I’m going to make good on it.”

  I took a couple breaths, watching her. Lori was an extraordinary woman, I knew it the second I first met her, but this was more than I could have ever dreamed of.

  “Any rational person would go running and screaming.”

  “I guess I’m not rational then.”

  “I wouldn’t blame you.”

  “I don’t care. I’m sick of being told what to do.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m going back inside. We have a procedure to prep for.”

  She walked past me, her shoulder scraping against mine. I watched her head down the path then into the building, but didn’t move.

  If she were smart, she’d take her cousin up on his offer.

  But the fact that she hadn’t yet gave me hope.

  If she could see that I wasn’t some bastard, piece of shit egomaniac, then maybe I wasn’t going to get dragged down into the mud. Maybe I could beat this—somehow, I might get lucky.

  If she stuck around to see this through, then damn it, I would too.

  I followed her back inside and forced myself to go through the motions, even if all I wanted to do was flip a table and burn down the world.

  I was a doctor, damn it. I had lives to save.

  17

  Lori

  I kept thinking about the look on his face back in that small alley, after speaking with Robert on the phone: it was agony, pure and simple. He realized then, right in that moment, that it didn’t matter what he did or said, didn’t matter how good he was—he couldn’t fix this with surgical skill alone.

  He’d need something else. He’d need my help.

  And I was angry enough to give it to him.

  Maybe the kiss helped convince me. His lips against mine, his arms around my body, maybe that pushed me over the edge a little bit. Maybe I was tumbling, head over heels, into the abyss.

  I liked the way it felt to fall.

  They didn’t call it sitting in love. They didn’t call it walking in love.

  It was a wild, reckless, crazy thing.

  For so long I’d done what was right: gone to the right schools, studied the right way, dated the right boys. I didn’t drink too much, I didn’t stay out too late. I was a good girl.

  I wanted to be a doctor, and I thought I had to give up certain things.

  I gave up myself, and replaced it with hard work.

  Now, I wanted that self back. One way was to have what I wanted, and to help the person that deserved it, even if that meant it might hurt my career in the end.

  I wanted Piers. And he deserved my help.

  I sat in the courtyard next to the cafeteria stabbing a wilted salad with a plastic fork, listening to a small group of nurses laughing with each other, and staring at the patterns of light and shadow through the single small shade tree planted near a group of benches. It smelled like pollen and syrup, probably from a sticky patch of spilled soda on the ground next to my feet. The nearby door pushed open, and I watched Milo step out, hands shoved in his pockets, looking
around before spotting at me. He nodded and hurried over.

  “I was looking for you,” he said without greeting.

  I smiled a little and waved my fork in the air. “You found me.”

  He seemed nervous, jittery almost, and looked over at the group of nurses like they were conspiring against him. He seemed to pull himself together before flinging himself down onto the bench next to me.

  “I have to tell you something,” he said, staring at his shoes, a comfortable pair of black sneakers.

  “Okay,” I said slowly. “Are you all right?”

  He ground his teeth and stomped his foot twice on the pavement. “I’m fine,” he said. “But you’re not.”

  I took a breath and put my food down. “What’s going on?”

  “I overheard something.” He looked up at me. “Swear you won’t mention my name.”

  “Whatever you’re about to say, I didn’t hear it from you.”

  He nodded once. I didn’t know why that was enough for him—he didn’t seem to like me all that much, and he definitely didn’t trust me. But maybe none of that mattered to him. I liked to think I was an honest person, and he could’ve seen that, despite how he might’ve felt about me personally.

  “I overheard Dr. Baker and Gina talking this morning,” he said, still watching the nurses, squinting slightly like they were rare birds about to take flight. I felt like we were in a spy movie, exchanging words in a subway stop in Berlin, pretending like we were strangers. “They were talking about Piers.”

  I felt my stomach drop. “What did they say?”

  “Dr. Baker didn’t say much of anything,” he said. “Gina did most of the talking. I got the feeling Baker wasn’t too happy about it.”

  “Gina doesn’t exactly like Piers.”

  He smiled a little. “That’s an understatement. She wants to get rid of him.”

  I sat back and let that sink in. “Really?”

  “Really. For her, it’s personal.”

  “How did you hear this? What did she say, exactly?”

  He glanced at me sideways, then looked back at the nurses. “They were in the lounge drinking coffee. I was looking for Baker to ask him a question about rounds, but when I got to the door, I overheard Gina say something about Dr. Hood. I paused and I listened, which I’m not proud of, but I’m kind of happy I did. She said she thought Piers needed to be thrown out, even if he was really good at his job, he was clearly a liability. She said she doesn’t like him, doesn’t like his attitude, and a man like that didn’t belong in a major hospital.”