Rock 'n' Roll Rebel

by Rylee Swann

  I feel like he’s stalling now as much as I did to get here. Not in any rush to hear what he has to say, I settle into the chair and sip the scalding brew.

  Another sigh comes from Frank as I busy myself perusing the many pinups of women from various calendar months that decorate the walls, some going back as much as twenty years or so. They feel like old friends since I see them almost every day. My particular favorite is Miss October, nineteen seventy-six, a lush redhead straddling a Harley Low Rider and wearing nothing but a sweet smile.

  “Well, Fringe, I guess I gotta show you something.” I look back to him as he turns his appointment book for me to see.

  Swallowing hard, I brace myself for the worst, and the worst it is. The calendar is nothing but crossed out appointments for the rest of the month.

  “They all called to cancel. Said in one way or the other they’re taking their business elsewhere until I reconsider my staffing situation.” He raises his eyes to meet mine. “I’m sorry, son, but I gotta let you go. I can’t stand up to this or I’ll go out of business.”

  I nod. I knew this was coming, but it’s still hard to hear. Shifting my coffee, I stand and hold out my hand to shake and Frank clasps it in a hard hold, even as he’s pulling out his rag to wipe his face again.

  I think I might be in shock. It’s not really registering that I have to leave now, and not come back. What the fuck am I going to do with the rest of my day? Fuck that, the rest of my life?

  “No hard feelings, Frank. This wasn’t your fault.” The words come automatically. The things you’re supposed to say in a situation like this.

  “Thanks for that, but it doesn’t make me feel much better. You’re a good man. If you need a reference you just ask.” He opens a desk drawer and takes out a sealed white envelope and holds it out to me. “I hate to see ya go.”

  “What’s this for?”

  “Money owed for work performed and one-week severance. I’d give you more if I could.”

  “You don’t have to do that.” My own words sound funny in my ears, like they’re being filtered through a pillow. I feel like I’m sleepwalking.

  “Damnit, Fringe, you earned it. Go on, take it.”

  My arm raises, like it belongs to someone else, and takes the envelope and I stuff it in my pocket. “Thanks. I’ll see you around, I guess.”

  I nod to him but he’s already turned away, his rag out again. Did I see the glitter of tears in his eyes? Why the fuck would he be crying over a punk like me? Makes no damn sense.

  Setting the half empty coffee cup on his desk, I walk out the door and clamber on my bike, gun the engine in the cold, silent morning. I have no idea where I’m going.

  Hours later, and very drunk, I text Dawn, hey.

  Yeah, that’s about all I can manage.

  Dawn: Are you okay?

  Me: Yeah

  I want to tell her no, I’m not in the least bit okay, but stupid macho pride prevents me from whining to her over text.

  Dawn: Good! So much going on. Divine is moving in today! We’re picking her up from hospital in an hour. So excited!

  Me: That’s good, talk later?

  Dawn: Sure!

  I can’t figure out what Dawn is talking about. Divine moving in? Where? It hurts my head to think about it so I let it go for now.

  I look around. Good, I’m home. Sometimes I don’t know where the fuck I am when I drink too much.

  Stumbling to the kitchen, I open another bottle of beer.

  Tomorrow, I’ll deal with my crap life. Tonight, I’m going to wallow in self-pity.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Raven Dawn

  “We’re home!” I shout into the penthouse as I usher Divine inside and set the box full of her things on the entrance table.

  Dad follows behind us carrying her suitcases. Together with her duffle bag, all her worldly possessions fit into four containers. It’s kind of sad.

  Mom appears at the end of the hall and comes to meet us. “Hello, Divine. It’s good to see you again.” She’s smiling and it’s not forced. She’s really warmed up to the idea of Divine staying here, and not just because she and I had a bonding moment.

  A rush of love warms me, followed by the desire to hug people. Maybe I’m finally coming out of my terrible teens, as my parents have jokingly called it, even though I have a year and a few days to go.

  Divine smiles shyly—shy is something I’ve never seen from her. “I want to thank you so much for letting me stay here, Mrs. Fahr. I already thanked Mr. Fahr but I just can’t say it enough. I promise not to be any trouble to you.”

  “It’s quite alright. We’re happy to open our home to you.”

  There’s this awkward moment when Mom and Divine don’t know whether to shake hands or hug. I laugh and give Divine a little shove toward Mom. The two finally figure it out, and Mom hugs her real good, patting her back.

  “Alright, alright, enough of this,” I tease with a laugh. “Come on, I’ll show you your room. It’s right next to mine.”

  We head toward my room, but I slow, turning back to Mom and Dad. Mouthing the words, “thank you,” I smile and dash off with Divine.

  After Divine puts her things away in her new room, we settle into the family room to watch TV. Divine plays Candy Crush, I text some friends, and we chat about everything and nothing at all. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Divine so relaxed. It makes me smile to know I did this for her.

  Later, Mom and Dad poke their heads in to let us know they have plans for the evening and will be back late.

  “There’s meatloaf and potatoes in the fridge,” Mom says. “And, Raven, please steam some vegetables, too.”

  I wave to them in acknowledgement and when they’re gone, I give Divine a friendly little shove on the shoulder. “Wanna order a pizza for dinner?”

  She looks at me like I must be crazy. “Didn’t your mom just say—”

  “Hey, if you don’t want pizza…”

  “Pepperoni and mushrooms.”

  I laugh and hit the speed dial on my phone for the pizza place. The pizza guy promises delivery in forty-five minutes and I call Henry to tell him to let the delivery up.

  “You want anything before the pizza gets here?”

  Divine doesn’t answer. Following her gaze to the TV, I see “Heartbeat,” Dean’s show has started.

  “You like that?” I poke her shoulder to get her attention.

  “Umm, yeah, it’s okay.” She blushes. “We can put something else on.”

  I snort and roll my eyes. “I could tell you stuff about Dean that would cure you of your crush in seconds flat.”

  Divine’s blush turns a deeper red. “I don’t have a crush on him.”

  “Yeah, right. You’re the only female in Canada that doesn’t.” My phone buzzes with an incoming text and I pause to read it. “Shyla, Alyssa, and Peach wanna stop by tonight. You up for a girls’ night?”

  “Yeah, sounds like fun. I’ll text Gin-Gin and Carmen.” She scrolls through her phone. “They can spread the word, if that’s okay?”

  I nod. “Just make sure they know it’s a no alcohol night. We’d both get kicked out if Mom and Dad caught us with booze on your first night here.”

  “Sure. How about BYOS?”

  “BYOS? What’s the s stand for?”

  “Snack.” She has a very serious expression on her face, then bursts out laughing.

  I join in and we giggle until we’re out of breath.

  An hour later, bellies full of pizza, we have a room full of our friends. The music is blasting and we’re all on our feet dancing like crazy people. Peals of laughter occasionally drown out the music and I realize I’ve never had such a good time in my own home before. The girls all came through with BYOS and we’ve been grazing off a feast of chips and dip, chicken wings, deviled eggs, popcorn, cupcakes, and cookies.

  Everyone stuck to the rules, to my great relief, and didn’t bring any alcohol, not even beer. Someone did light a joint a few minutes ago and it’
s making the rounds, but I think we’ll be okay.

  “Dawn, where’s your mom’s first album?” Shyla screeches at me. She’s always screeching. She’s a cutie, but short. Maybe she thinks no one’ll hear her otherwise.

  “Her first one? You’re joking, right? That one sucked!” I move through the horde of gyrating hips, crunching popcorn underfoot, to the top-of-the-line stereo system. This place is going to need a good vacuuming. Instead of her first, I put on my favorite of Mom’s, the one she made just after breaking free of her creep manager, Wolf. “Now, this one kicks some serious ass!”

  “I love this one!” Jinx shouts and throws up her hands as she grooves to the beat. “Rachel St. Claire is amazing! It’s too bad she’s retired. I mean, shit, listen to that voice.”

  “She’s not retired.” I frown. “Why do people keep saying that?”

  “Because she’s not going on tour with Milo and David, duh.”

  “Don’t duh me.” I laugh, but am still frowning inwardly as I dance my way closer to Jinx. “I think I’d know.”

  “Really? Then why isn’t she touring with them?”

  I stifle a sigh. I never did get around to asking Mom about that. “Rock star reasons.”

  Everyone within earshot laughs and, thankfully, the subject changes to something less worrisome. Boys. And how big their dicks are. We’re a classy bunch.

  “I heard that Skull has a teeny weenie and that’s why he’s always so cranky.” Gin-Gin snickers as she holds her thumb and pointer fingers very close together.

  We squeal with laughter.

  “That’s nothing,” Alyssa says. “I know for a fact that Bullseye, Skull’s younger brother, only has one ball.” She takes a hit from the joint and passes it to me.

  “What? How is that even possible?” Bringing the joint to my lips, I drag the sweet smoke deep into my lungs and hold it there.

  “One of them never descended.” She winks. “You’ve seen him. He walks with a limp. That one ball weighs him down on one side.”

  The smoke comes out of me in a coughing, sputtering laugh. “Stop, you’re shitting me!”

  Peach takes the joint from me and nods toward Divine. “Come on and tell us, Dawn. How big is Dean’s?”

  Divine turns her head so fast, she might have given herself whiplash. She’s clearly interested, but I’m disgusted.

  “Eww! That’s my brother! Just… eww!”

  “I’m not saying you should get with him.” Peach laughs and shimmies to the beat of the music. “But you’ve seen it, right? Like, him coming out of the shower or something?”

  “Even if I did, and I’m not saying I did, I would not tell you bunch of perverts how big my brother’s dick is.” I reach into a bowl on the table, grab a handful of popcorn and throw it at her. “I’ll repeat, eww!”

  “Hey, don’t waste the snackage!”

  “I hear that Lobo’s a thick eight inches,” Alyssa says.

  I wonder how she knows. It’s not that I’m jealous, but it’s strange thinking that she might have been with him.

  “Oh, girl, if that’s true, Dawn, you’re in for a world of hurt.” Carmen nods knowingly.

  I feel my face reddening. “It doesn’t have to hurt that bad if he takes it slow.” This is something I learned from Dean during our talk at dinner the other night. At the time, it made me feel better. Now, I’m worried he only said that to ease my mind.

  “You think he has the patience to take it slow?”

  “I… umm…” I clear my throat, at a loss for words.

  I’m grateful when Divine sticks up for me. “It’ll hurt, Dawn, but it’s nothing like the exaggerations you’ve heard or these cum dumpsters are telling you.” She lets out some pot smoke and passes the joint. “Just remember, the first time isn’t for pleasure. It’s for breaking through the hymen. It’s the second time that’ll curl your toes.”

  I nod, taking in this new information.

  “Whoo! I love this song!” Shyla shouts, and that ends the penis conversation.

  We fall silent, dancing, smoking, gorging on junk food in the dimly lit room. We’re all so high, we’re finding the slightest things hilariously funny, and there’s outbursts of giggles. When Shyla screams, I laugh, thinking she’s living up to her name until I see worried looks.

  I turn to see a hulking, shadowy figure in the doorway of the family room.

  “That’s just my dad, dork.”

  “Oh my god, oh my god. That’s Rachel St. Claire!” Shyla gets so excited I think she might have an aneurysm.

  I look past Dad to see Mom in the shadows behind him.

  “I love you, Miss St. Claire! You’re amazing!” Shyla is rushing forward and I’m right on her heels. Fans can do the craziest things and it wouldn’t do for her to jump my mom.

  Mom steps forward and graciously extends her hand to Shyla. I’ve seen this act before. Mom’s in the spotlight greeting an adoring fan. I suppose that’s okay, especially since the family room is a disaster area and the place reeks of weed.

  “It’s so nice to meet you.” Mom lets Shyla grab her hand and pump it enthusiastically.

  Shyla’s face is pale and she’s sweating, and I wonder if she’s about to pass out.

  I’m not sure whether to laugh or roll my eyes. “Chill, Shyla, it’s just my mom.”

  “Just your mom? Are you tripping? She ain’t just anything, girl.” She hasn’t looked away from my mom. “Thank you, Miss St. Claire. Thank you…”

  “Alright now, ladies.” My dad steps in while Mom is distracted. “It’s a school night and it’s getting late. Time to wrap this up.” He smiles to show he’s cool, catches my eyes and winks.

  My friends grumble but gather their things and hug me as they leave, like I’m in a receiving line. It’s kind of cool. This is so different from how we leave Lucifer’s most nights. No one is stumbling, no one is going to wake up not sure whose bed they’re in, and there’s no vomit to clean up. I think the best part might be that I won’t have a hangover in the morning.

  Divine is the last one to hug me. She gives me a good squeeze before letting go. “Later, gator.”

  I grab the fabric of her t-shirt before she can get any farther. “Divine, you going somewhere?”

  She turns to me, confusion clouding her eyes, then breaks into a smile. “Oh, no, I guess I’m not.”

  We giggle as I drape an arm around her shoulders and we head off down the hall to our bedrooms.

  “Dawn,” Divine whispers. “How big do you think Fringe’s cock is?”

  “Eww, cut it out.”

  I laugh it off but the question sticks in my brain like a badger, burrowing its way in until I can’t stop thinking about it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Fringe

  I have a roaring headache and a raging hardon. Not the best of combinations.

  Running my hands through my hair and scratching my scalp, I shuffle to the bathroom and down a few aspirin. Bracing my hands on the sides of the cold porcelain sink, I lower my head and take a few deep breaths. The aspirins want to come back up but I really need them to stay down and do their job.

  I am so fucking tired of hangovers. I vow this will be my last one, and then I vow to make sure I keep the first vow. If my head didn’t hurt so bad, I’d be laughing at myself.

  Absently, my hand reaches down to scratch my balls. My cock wants attention. My head wants to explode. Since I can’t do anything more about my head, I give in to my baser needs and strip out of my jockeys.

  Turning the shower on full blast until the heat fills the room with a humid fog, I step in. With the hot water streaming down the back of my head, loosening up my back muscles, I take my dick in hand and stroke it in an easy, unhurried rhythm. It’s been a while since I gave myself release—at least four or five days, unheard of!—and I want this to last. I let my imagination run wild.

  A haze of red appears before my eyes and quickly focuses into a glorious mane of curls. Angie? No, her hair is short.

  Thi
s is Dawn standing in my bathroom, her back to me, naked, the sweet curve of her perfectly rounded ass beckoning. Slowly, she turns her head to gaze over her shoulder, a devilishly tantalizing smile on her lips, heavenly green eyes sparkling. Fuck, she’s sexy.

  My cock springs to life, instantly harder than ever. I groan and the sound ends in a growl.

  Dawn turns fully and I take her in with famished eyes. Her tits, perfectly sized for my hands, are only inches away and I want to cup them, caress them.

  “C’mere.” The word is a rumble in my throat, and she steps into the shower and comes around behind me, teasing with her fingertips on my flesh. Goose bumps flair under her touch, and despite the hot water, I shiver. Water rains down on her turning her ringlets into streaming cords of flowing hair. I turn to her as she lifts her hands to run them through her scarlet locks, making her tits point upward.

  I have to have her. Now.

  “Come here.” This time my words are a demand, and she quickly takes the couple of steps necessary to stand right before me.

  When she raises her eyes to mine, in them I see hunger, need, desperation—a reflection of everything I’m feeling. This strengthens my desire and I grab her ass with both hands and pull her against me.

  A little squeak escapes her lips when my cock presses into her belly.

  Kneading her ass cheeks, I lift her slightly to give her the friction she craves. Her eyes flutter, her mouth forming a perfect little o. I dip my head, take her lips and ravage her mouth, forcing my tongue inside, much like I want to do—soon will do—with my cock. She probes my mouth with her tongue and our tongues tangle and explore.

  Dawn rubs her mound over my hard-on, the little vixen demanding more attention. I oblige by bringing a hand around and slipping it between her legs. I don’t give her a chance to object and plunge a finger into her warm, slick channel. She tenses around my digit and it makes my cock harder, so I draw it out then in, each time faster until I’m finger fucking her relentlessly.