When the Music Ends (The Winter Rose Chronicles)

by Simone Beaudelaire

  "She’s where? …What happened? … Oh my God, no! … Of course!... I’ll get there right away." He hung up and started pulling his clothes on.

  "Erin, I’m really sorry, but I have to leave right now. That was my mom. There’s an emergency. I swear I didn’t plan to split like this, but I have to get to the hospital right away." He looked panicky, stunned. His expression alarmed her very much.

  "What happened? Who’s in the hospital?"

  "Danny."

  "Oh no, did they wreck? Is she okay?" Erin hopped out of bed and began pulling jeans and a sweater out of her dresser.

  "No." She had never seen Sean’s face so angry. His jaw was clenched so tightly she could hear his teeth grinding as he gritted out the words, "That bastard Jake Morris raped her."

  Erin’s clothes slipped through her fingers. "No."

  "Yes."

  "Oh God! I have to go with you. Please take me with you, Sean. Danny is my best friend. I have to be there too."

  "Yes, okay. Let’s go though."

  Erin retrieved her sweater and pulled it over her head, and they headed for the door. She scooped up her sneakers but didn’t attempt to put them on. That could be done in the car. Locking the door, she scuttled to the Mustang and put on her seatbelt.

  As she slid on her shoes, hot tears began to roll down Erin’s face. She sobbed.

  "This is my fault. I knew she shouldn’t be alone with him. I just wanted so much to spend more time with you. I can’t believe I was so selfish."

  He reached over and scooped up her hand, squeezing it. "It’s as much my fault. I could see that leaving her with him was a bad idea." Sean’s voice was harsh and unsteady. He drove to the hospital too fast, but thankfully not recklessly. He steered with one hand and with the other held fast to Erin’s. The knowledge that they had been enjoying a passionate evening in bed while someone they loved was being assaulted was more than either could bear. That they had had the opportunity to prevent it and had not taken it was even worse. Erin cried the whole way. It would be lying to suggest that Sean didn’t too.

  Parking haphazardly across two spaces, Sean and Erin hurried into the building, up to the white Formica receptionist desk with its plastic window, still clinging to each other’s fingers.

  "Where is Sheridan Murphy?" Sean asked the receptionist. The middle-aged woman with streaks of gray in her ashy blond hair gave him a hard look.

  "Who might you be?" she asked suspiciously.

  "I’m her brother, and this is her best friend. Where is she?"

  "Her brother?" The narrowed eyes gave no doubt about the woman’s opinion.

  "Yes."

  "I swear, ma’am," Erin told her urgently, "He’s not the one that did this."

  Looking at the sweetly innocent young girl, tears still sliding down her cheeks sufficed to convince the receptionist. "Okay, she’s in room 215, upstairs."

  "She’s been admitted?" Sean looked appalled. That was not a good sign.

  "Her injuries are pretty bad. They want her to stay the night."

  His hand tightened painfully on Erin’s. She flexed her fingers, reminding him to be gentle. He made himself relax his grip.

  They raced through the hospital, narrowly avoiding a collision with an elderly dialysis patient in a wheelchair, before arriving in the intensive care unit.

  Outside room 215, Ellen Murphy was standing in the hallway weeping into the remains of a badly shredded tissue. Sean dropped Erin’s hand and grabbed his mother, hugging her tight. She hid her face in his shoulder. Erin looked through the window in the door of the room. The curtain had been pulled around the bed, but periodically it lit up for a moment.

  "What’s going on?" He asked her

  "The police are there. They’re collecting evidence." The words had to be forced out between broken sobs.

  "Is she alone?" That couldn’t be right. Not when such a terrible event had taken place.

  "Dad’s with her."

  That was good. Sheridan was very close to her dad.

  "When can we go in?" Sean wanted to know.

  "When they’re done. They don’t want the evidence contaminated. Sean, it’s really bad. You have to be prepared."

  He hesitated. He really didn’t want to know, but..."Tell me."

  "She’s bruised all over. It looks like he may have hit her, but she didn’t say for sure. Really, she hasn’t said much of anything. I think she’s in shock."

  "How did you know it was…rape?" Such an ugly word, especially when talking about someone you love. Sean looked like he wanted to vomit.

  "If you had seen the blood running down her thighs..." Ellen lost control, sobbed, and then visibly steeled herself to continue. "There was so much. It must have been brutal. There’s no doubt what happened."

  "I’m going to kill him."

  "No, Sean." Her voice was hollow sounding, which matched the desolation on her face. We’re not going to take an eye for an eye. We’re going to do this legally. He’ll pay. She’s going to press charges."

  "Do you understand what that means, Mom? There’s going to be a trial. Danny will have to relive the whole thing again and again before he can be punished." Sean shook his head. It was agonizing even to think about it.

  "I know." Ellen began to cry even harder.

  Erin walked over to Mrs. Murphy and put her hand on the older woman’s arm.

  She started, looked up.

  "Oh, Erin. I’m so glad you’re here."

  "Of course. Where else would I be?"

  Of one accord Sean and Ellen opened their arms and drew Erin in, as though she were a member of the family. They remained like that, holding each other, until the police officer, a kind looking older woman, exited the room.

  She looked at them for a long moment before saying, "You can go in now. I’m finished. I’m so sorry." And they could see she was. No matter how long one worked in law enforcement, some sights still retained the power to appall.

  They entered the room on weak legs. The curtain around the bed was open now. Sheridan’s shock had finally worn off and she was cuddled in her father’s arms crying hysterically. He rubbed her back gently. His own eyes were very red, his face wet.

  Hearing the footsteps on the tile floor, Sheridan looked up. The entire left side of her face was swollen and bruised with a deep cut in her cheek. Sean made a strangled sound and stopped in his tracks. Erin was at the bed in a second, scrambling up beside her friend, putting her arms around her.

  "Oh God, Danny," she wept.

  Sheridan turned and hugged her. "Erin." Her voice was very weak, harsh from so much crying. The girls clung to each other in misery. Now that the ice was broken, Sean and his mother approached the bed, hugging Sheridan. No one knew what to say, so they mostly just took turns holding her and crying.

  After a couple of hours, a nurse came in and told them, gently, that they couldn’t all stay. It was very late and the patient should try to rest. She had a sleeping pill for Sheridan, which the girl accepted gratefully. Ellen insisted on staying, of course, and so did Roger, but Sean offered to take Erin home.

  Before leaving, Erin gave her friend a fierce hug and whispered, "I love you, Danny. I’ll come back in the morning."

  Sheridan didn’t say anything, but her arms tightened around her friend.

  Then Sean took Erin’s hand gently and led her away.

  Erin was still very weepy as they walked through the silent hospital, hand in hand. She couldn’t really calm down. Tears kept streaming over her cheeks. Outside, by the Mustang, Sean pulled her close.

  "Oh Sean, what are we going to do?"

  "I don’t know. Poor Danny. I can’t believe it." Both were drowning in a flood of agonized disbelief. They huddled together, trying to block out the cold October wind, and the horrible memories of what they had just seen.

  She squeezed him tight. Then they got into the car.

  As they drove, a mean, selfish thought occurred to Erin. She wondered if this traumatic event meant that the delic
ious little beginning she and Sean had shared was over, if this really would be a single night instead of a relationship after all. She didn’t want that. She wanted him for herself, but that was no way to be thinking when your friend was lying, wounded and violated, in the hospital. She tried to ignore the desperate longing for Sean, but she couldn’t. Finally, the words burst from her.

  "Are you still going to be with me?"

  "What do you mean?" Lost in dark sad thoughts about his sister, Sean had a hard time processing the question.

  "I mean we sort of said we were going to be a couple. Is that still the case? I know how terrible it sounds to ask this right now, but I have to know. Are we through?"

  "No, baby. We’re not through," he assured her with sweet intensity, "I don’t know how we’re going to do this without upsetting people, but I would never have taken your virginity if I didn’t intend to stand by you. Don’t think for a minute that I’m doing this out of duty either. I still want you as much as ever. This is really hard, this situation with Danny, and..." His voice broke and he swallowed a couple of times. "We’re all going to need all the support we can get. You’re part of it too. So, for tonight, we’re going to stay close. Tomorrow, we can decide what’s next, but I swear that dumping you isn’t part of my plans. Do you think that it would be possible to keep this…private, at least for a while? I hate being sneaky, but I don’t really see any other way."

  "You’re right, and that’s fine. I wasn’t planning to broadcast it anyway, especially not under these circumstances."

  They were at the house by that time, and went back inside. Erin’s mouth tasted terrible, so she went into the hallway bathroom to brush her teeth in the scalloped, cream-colored pedestal sink. Sean followed and she found him a toothbrush still in the package in the cabinet. While he brushed, she washed the last of the makeup off her lips and eyes before leading Sean back into the bedroom and pulling him to her again. They kissed endlessly, deeply, their burgeoning passion for each other exacerbated by their terrible grief.

  Sean was a little concerned about making love to Erin again so soon after her first time. He knew she was sore, but really, it didn’t matter, not when she was undressing him, running her hands over his body. She wanted and needed to be as close to him as possible, and he needed her just as badly. And when the moment came, he pressed inside her so gently, so slowly, that she only felt the slightest twinge. The second time was just as sweet as the first, especially as Erin now knew that Sean intended to be with her. Falling asleep in his arms was one of the sweetest things she had ever experienced. If only it didn’t have to be coupled with such tragedy.

  ******

  In the morning, Erin called the Murphy house. Sean was still sleeping in her bed, but of course no one knew that. Roger picked up.

  "Hello Mr. Murphy. This is Erin. I’m just calling to see if you guys are home. I’m not going to ask if you’re okay. Do you think it would be all right if I came over later?"

  "Yes, Erin, please come over," Roger said. His voice sounded very strained. "Sheridan is sleeping now, but I think maybe this afternoon, it would be good for her to have you here."

  "I’ll be there after lunch. Hang in there, Mr. Murphy."

  The voice on the phone sounded weary, but appreciative. "You too. Goodbye."

  Warm arms wrapped around Erin from behind and she snuggled against Sean. He leaned down and kissed her cheek.

  "What’s the word?"

  "They’re home. I’m going over there this afternoon. I think it would be good for us to drive separately. No one would take kindly to finding out we spent the night together."

  "Right. I’m glad though. It would have been terrible to be alone." He hugged her a little tighter.

  "I know. I feel a little guilty about doing something so wonderful when poor Danny is…" She sniffled.

  "I know, but really, it’s understandable. When you’re hurting, you want to cling to people who care about you. Danny needed Mom and Dad. We were lucky to have each other so we didn’t burden them with our pain in addition to what they’re already dealing with."

  "Is she going to be okay?"

  "I hope so. She’s strong, but no one should have to live through that."

  "It’s so unfair. She always tries to do the right thing. Sheridan is the kind of girl who should have been a virgin on her wedding night."

  "Yeah." Sean couldn’t think of anything to say, so he just remained silent. Beckoning Erin, he went to the bathroom to shower, taking her with him into the steaming water. Erin was a little startled by this, but it was very enjoyable, and the heat helped relax her, especially inside where she was so sore. When they were both clean and, naturally, quite aroused, Erin led her boyfriend back to her room for one more taste of deep sweet loving. It was very late morning by the time they were finished, so they just lay close, holding each other in silence, until it was time to choke down a quick lunch. Neither was hungry, in the aftermath of such trauma, but they ate anyway.

  Parting caused a terrible pang, but it was necessary, and Sean kissed Erin long and lingeringly before getting into his Mustang and driving away. It was a little early to leave yet, so Erin put together her oboe and spent half an hour practicing her music for the audition she would play for the recruiter from Texas. She had all the notes well in hand long since, of course, but was experimenting with different stylistic elements, trying to find just the right emotion. Oboe naturally lends itself to sounding melancholy, which suited her mood perfectly. Today, the piece rolled off her fingers with a passionate and mournful keening, her instrument weeping with her grief and sorrow and pain. Strange that she had chosen a piece that so perfectly expressed her emotions. It had never sounded better, but by the time she played the last cadence, she was crying so hard she could barely see the music stand.

  She managed to pull herself together long enough to clean her instrument and put it away, and make the short drive to her friend’s house safely, but she didn’t really stop crying altogether. It would be a long time before the Murphy family and their friend really began to recover from the trauma.

  ***Chapter 4***

  Sheridan took a week off from school trying to come to grips with what had happened. Erin, however, was back on Monday. She had appointed herself to meet with her friend’s teachers and collect her assignments so Sheridan wouldn’t get too far behind. She spent as much time as possible at the Murphy house in the evenings, going over algebra and English and chemistry work with her friend sometimes, and other times just holding her while she cried. Jake had been arrested on the same night as the assault, and the legal process was underway. Erin hoped Sheridan was strong enough to stand it.

  Erin’s mother came home late Monday evening, all smiles and happiness, blithely unconcerned that she was tearing her family apart with this ill-advised love affair. Erin’s dad had rented an apartment and she hadn’t seen him since. Neither one seemed terribly interested in the rape, which made Erin angry. How she could be descended from two such selfish people, she couldn’t imagine. Once again she chafed at being unable simply to walk away from both of them and take care of herself. She had a job, playing in the symphony orchestra, but it was a small and ill-funded group, and the pittance she earned, while sufficient for her teenage needs of car insurance and spending money, would not be anywhere near enough to live on.

  In the late evening, most nights, Sean would call her. Listening to his deep soothing voice helped her. He had been very serious about their relationship, but it was difficult to spend any time together because she was so busy, and because it was hard to find places to get together where they didn’t risk running into someone they knew.

  On Friday, Valerie James told her daughter that she was going out for the weekend again. It was a huge relief and Erin had never been so happy to see her mother’s silver convertible disappear down the road.

  Sean had just gotten home from work when he received the call that Erin’s mother was gone again. Erin offered to make him some dinner
at her place. He told her he would be there as soon as he finished showering and changed clothes. He also packed a little bag, knowing both of them would be eager to spend the night together, if not the whole weekend.

  Erin was in the kitchen when he arrived, toasting ham and cheese sandwiches under the broiler, while a pot of soup bubbled on the stove. Sean kissed her cheek and she turned, sliding her arms around his neck for a tight hug. He could see she had been crying again. Her eyes were red and puffy, and a faint trace of mascara ran down her face.

  "What’s wrong, baby?"

  She sniffled. "Danny’s going back to school on Monday. I wish she didn’t have to. Everyone knows what happened. Jake’s stupid friends blabbed. They’re making it sound like her fault. It’s horrible. I don’t know how she’s going to handle it."

  Sean shook his head, devastation crossing his handsome features. "It’s so unfair. I would have thought, in a new millennium, that people would stop blaming rape on the victims."

  "I guess whoever’s less popular will take the blame. That’s how high school works. I hate it!" Her voice was fierce but unsteady, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I hate it so much."

  His arms tightened around her. "I know. Just try to stick it out and finish as best you can. Don’t let this destroy your dreams. You have to finish well, Erin."

  "I know that. It just really sucks."

  "It does." He squeezed her comfortingly and then noticed a tell-tale aroma. Grabbing a red and gold oven mitt decorated with a rooster from its hook above the stove, he rescued the sandwiches from under the broiler, moments before they could blacken.

  "Sorry," Erin said, scrubbing at her eyes.

  "Hey, they’re fine. No worries." He set the hot baking sheet on a trivet on the black Corian countertop next to the stove. Opening the gleaming mahogany cabinets he searched until he found a little cutting board in the shape of a pig. He pulled a knife from the block and sliced pickles and tomatoes for the sandwiches while Erin finished stirring the soup and poured it into mugs.