When the Music Ends (The Winter Rose Chronicles)

by Simone Beaudelaire

  "Of course not."

  "She’s very much like you, you know, driven, an achiever, and smart."

  "I know. I wish she would have invested her energy in something worthwhile."

  "She has. Her music is amazing."

  "I guess if she has you to support her, she can just play around with that oboe and not worry about getting a real career."

  There was nothing to be said to that insensitive comment. It made Sean a little mad, but there was no point in arguing. He returned to the subject at hand, "Anyway, I want you to come to the wedding. It would mean a lot to Erin. She needs her father there."

  "I’m sorry. There’s just no way."

  Sean closed his eyes in frustration. He had hoped it wouldn’t come to this. When he spoke again, his voice was hard and cold.

  "I suggest you make a way. You’re not the only investor in town you know."

  "What does that mean?"

  "It means that family is very important to the Murphys, and if you show such disrespect to yours, then Murphy Construction and Renovation will never work with you again."

  Silence. It was not a meaningless threat. The building company had worked heavily with Daniel’s investment firm, so that they could provide retirement benefits and mutual funds opportunities for their employees. If MC&R went to one of his competitors, he would lose a substantial commission for himself and a massive investment for his company.

  "Does your father know about this?"

  "He does. Oh, and just so you know, I’m a partner in this company now. And how people treat my wife really matters to me. Keep that in mind, Daniel. I’ll leave it up to you to decide what you want to do, but in case you forgot, the wedding is Saturday at seven at Our Lady. I suggest you be there, but either way, this conversation is never to be mentioned to Erin. Let her think you love her enough to support her just this once."

  He hung up.

  "Will he come?" Roger asked, looking up from his desk in the little office space the company owned downtown.

  "I think so. I hated doing that. How stupid."

  "I hate to say this, but both of the Jameses are pretty stupid."

  "Erin was lucky to have gotten the best parts of their personalities without all the selfishness and greed."

  "You’re right."

  ******

  On Saturday, Erin put on her silver dress again and they all headed to Our Lady Catholic Church to have their marriage sanctified. All the Murphys joined them except for Jason, who was in a state of rebellion against both marriage and the church. That was fine. Erin had always been a little afraid of Jason anyway. Even though he was closer to her age, it was kind and friendly Sean that she had fallen in love with. And now she was marrying him…again. It was lovely.

  They gathered at the front of the little chapel and the long wedding mass began. Erin tried to listen to the words that would turn their marriage from a legal to a spiritual one, but it was impossible to concentrate. Despite their years of closeness and intimacy, Sean still captured her attention like no one else. Just before it was time for them to say their vows, the door at the back of the room opened and closed quietly. Erin was facing forward and didn’t turn around. Her attention was focused on her husband, whom she vowed, again, to love, honor, and cherish until death did them part. This time they were promising to God, not just to the laws of the land, and that made it all the more serious, solemn, and beautiful. Erin’s shy smile was breathtaking as Sean, his voice confident, promised to love his wife for the rest of his life. It was the easiest promise he had ever made.

  And then it was over. Sean kissed his bride gently on the lips and turned her around to face the small group in the room. As they were presented, Erin took in the beaming faces before her. Ellen, Roger, and Sheridan were all looking on approvingly. A little apart from them, a tall dark-haired man was sitting in a pew, nodding. Her lips parted in surprise.

  The wedding over, the couple was dismissed and Erin went straight to her father.

  "Oh Daddy, you came. Thank you." She hugged Daniel tight. He hugged her back. He had not been a cruel father, just a distracted one. But he did love Erin, in his careless way. She knew he did, and she could tell by his expression how seeing her here, seeing how her face lit up, how her eyes filled with tears, just because he had taken an hour out of his schedule for her, told him something he had never realized before.

  "Congratulations pumpkin," he told her gently.

  "Thank you."

  He released her with a kiss on the forehead and turned to shake Sean’s hand. Sean looked at his father-in-law with approval. Although it had required nothing short of blackmail to get Daniel here, something about his expression and demeanor said that he finally understood a few things about his daughter and his own responsibilities. The past couldn’t be changed, but perhaps the future could.

  The family was going back to the Murphy house for dessert and wine (sparkling grape juice for the bride) and Roger graciously extended the invitation to Daniel, who, shockingly, accepted. Between getting married in a way that Ellen Murphy approved of, and seeing her father, and her absolute delight over finally being pregnant with Sean’s baby again, Erin was glowing with joy. Her face looked angelic. Her husband was also beaming. His marriage to Erin was so far simply wonderful. He had chosen well.

  In the week that remained before the girls had to return to school, Erin took care of one more piece of business. She ferreted out a midwife group and got a checkup. They were wonderful ladies who simply adored delivering babies. Erin asked about home birth and received a great deal of information. She also made appointments to meet with them each month. This would mean taking one day off from school in February, but spring break and Easter would provide natural opportunities. These visits would also somewhat ease the pang of separating from her husband. She would come home to him once a month and that helped. Finally, with many kisses and a few tears, Erin returned to the university with Sheridan to complete their last semester of undergraduate studies.

  As Sheridan had predicted, it was a doozy. Erin had begun preparations for her senior recital at the very beginning of the year, but there was so much left to do that she was completely overwhelmed. And that was not all she was working on either. Music majors have so many extra classes to take that she had a full schedule of coursework and studying as well. And as predicted, she had to rely heavily on her friend to help her out. She had finally gotten over her reticence about calling Sean and it made her feel considerably better every time she heard his voice. But really it was just a hard, very demanding semester.

  With everything she was doing, Erin had to spend long hours in the music building late at night, practicing. This was starting to take a toll on her. Sheridan became rather alarmed at how little sleep Erin was getting, but there simply weren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. It would have been a strain on anyone, but Erin was pregnant and that made it worse.

  A couple of weeks later, Sheridan came back to her dorm room to find Erin lying on her side on the bed, tears streaking down her cheek, her hand on her belly.

  "What’s wrong?" she asked, alarmed.

  "I’m cramping." Erin gagged, swallowed hard.

  "Are you bleeding?"

  "No, not that."

  "Have you been throwing up?"

  "Yes." The expectant mother shot her friend a slightly hysterical look.

  "Oh Lord. Did you call your midwife?"

  Erin shook her head, she’s been too panicked even to think of it, remembering the trauma of her previous miscarriage, so Sheridan grabbed the business card from the bulletin board beside the computer desk and dialed. She talked to the midwife for a few minutes and then walked into the bathroom, scooping up a big plastic cup from the desk as she went by. She emerged with the cup brimming with water.

  "The midwife said you’re probably exhausted and dehydrated. She said you should drink a bunch of water and lie down and rest. If the cramping doesn’t subside after a couple of hours, go to the
clinic."

  Erin took the cup and sipped. Once she had downed all the water, she lay back down on her side and tried to rest. Sheridan pulled up a chair beside her and distracted her from obsessing about her condition by telling a long story about Dr. Burke. About an hour later, the cramping stopped, the nausea subsided. Erin sighed with relief.

  "Now listen, Mrs. Murphy," Sheridan said sternly, "you need to take better care of yourself. No more of this staying up half the night practicing, and you be darn sure you have water with you all the time."

  "Yes ma’am," Erin replied weakly. Sheridan was going to be a great professor someday.

  "And you had better plan to stay in bed for a few days and get your strength back."

  "I can’t. I have too much to do."

  "Erin, sweetie, your baby is more important. I’ll help you out, but please, you have to rest."

  "Okay."

  As Erin had done for her in high school, Sheridan went to her friend’s professors and explained the situation, collecting homework so she could stay current with her studies. The rest did Erin a world of good. The following week she was able, cautiously, to resume her schedule.

  As winter passed into spring, all the pieces of Erin’s life began to come together. The plans for her senior recital were finalized, all the arrangements made and confirmed, the pieces chosen, and she had passed her preliminary jury. She was working on one special arrangement in her senior music theory class that she would use to finish the little concert. Really, all that was left was to keep up with her coursework and practice like a fiend. That, and talk to Sean. As the big event neared, she told him more and more how scary it was.

  "I just don’t know how I’m going to get through it. The music is too hard. I’m going to mess up and not graduate. Why did I have to push it so much?"

  "Because you’re Erin. You wouldn’t be my baby if you let yourself settle. Remember how it was in high school? You weren’t satisfied until you were first chair oboe in all state, accepted to every college you wanted to go to, and dating someone six years older. You have always gone for what you wanted, and gotten it. What you want now is a spectacular senior recital, and you’re going to do it. Do you want me to come up for it?"

  "Oh, that’s okay Sean. It’s really mostly technical music, and not very pretty. I doubt you would enjoy it. It’s kind of a concert for music teachers, you know?"

  "Are you sure?"

  "Sure. I’ll see you next week at spring break and tell you exactly how it went, okay?"

  "Okay. Hey, is my sister there? Can I talk to her for a moment?"

  Erin handed the phone to Sheridan and walked into the bathroom. She needed to pee as usual, and she was really tired. When the conversation was over, she was going to go right to bed, so she might as well brush her teeth.

  "Danny," Sean said, "something feels funny. Erin tells me I don’t need to come up for her recital, but that can’t be right. Should I plan to be there anyway?"

  "Sean, you absolutely have to come to this. It’s the culmination of … well of her whole life, really. You know Erin. She never asks for anything, especially if it seems like a bother to someone. This is one of those big gestures I was talking about over Christmas. She needs you to be there, even if you don’t actually enjoy the music, and to be honest, some of it is pretty out there. The point is that you need to be there for her."

  "That’s what I thought. What about if I ask mom and Dad to come too?"

  "Great. And see if you can bully Erin’s dad into making it."

  "Good idea. I’ll see what I can do."

  Sheridan looked at the bathroom door. She could hear water running inside.

  "There’s something else."

  "What?"

  "Erin needs new clothes. She’s not fitting well into her regular stuff anymore, and she’s really uncomfortable. Plus, her concert dress is so fitted, if she tries to fasten it, she’ll rip out all the seams."

  "Is she really that big already? It’s only been a few weeks since she was up for that appointment."

  "I know, but a few weeks in pregnancy make a big difference. She’s about halfway through now. And she’s not huge, but she’s showing. She has this little belly, and her jeans don’t fasten anymore. But she doesn’t have money."

  "I can afford new clothes for my wife."

  "I know. But does she? I know you two have talked about your feelings, but have you ever talked about your finances?"

  "Not really. But listen, I’ll take care of this. I can get another credit card on my account in her name and send it to her. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner. I must be brain dead. Can you take her shopping? Make her buy what she needs?"

  "I can try. Send me the card though or she might send it back. This is Erin we’re talking about after all."

  "Good thinking."

  Erin walked out of the bathroom in her Tweetie Bird sweatpants and an oversized tee shirt with an oboe on it. Sheridan handed her the phone.

  "Hi again love," she said.

  "Hey sexy baby. What are you wearing?"

  Erin looked down at her sloppy pajamas and laughed. "Nothing special."

  "Good. Save that hot stuff for when we’re together."

  "I won’t be able to wear it. I’m too fat."

  "You’re not fat, you’re pregnant. You’re still hot though."

  "Thanks Sean."

  "Hey listen, I’ve been thinking. You’re going to need maternity clothes, aren’t you?"

  "No."

  "Yes you are. Don’t be silly. I’m going to send you a credit card and I want you to buy yourself some comfortable things and wear them. No more squeezing into regular jeans, okay?"

  "You don’t need to do that."

  "Yes I do. You’re my wife. I love you. You’re also carrying my baby. The least I can do is make sure you’ve got something to wear."

  "Well that’s very generous. I’ll try not to spend too much."

  "Spend as much as you want baby. I can afford it."

  "Famous last words."

  "I doubt it. Good night Erin. I love you."

  "I love you. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye."

  ***Chapter 22***

  Three days later, the promised credit card arrived in the mail, addressed to Sheridan, who made her friend put her oboe away and go to the mall.

  The maternity wear store was rather busy when the girls arrived, so they just browsed for a while.

  "What do you need? Sheridan said, "And be sure you don’t cheap out or I’ll have my brother come up and shop with you."

  "That’s cheating," Erin laughed.

  "Here, look at this," Sheridan held up a lovely long sweater in a raspberry color.

  "That’s really pretty," Erin said, "But I’m mostly going to be pregnant in the summer. Do I really need something that warm?"

  "Yes. It won’t heat up until May. That’s a long time to be cold. Besides, it’s on sale. At least try it on."

  In the end, Sheridan bullied her friend into trying on a huge number of clothes, including jeans and sweaters for everyday use, Sunday dresses, shorts (last summer’s on clearance) tee shirts and tank tops, and some lovely flowing black trousers that could go with anything, but particularly with a ruched and stretchy black lace top. Those two pieces would work very well for the concert.

  The first time Erin stepped into a pair of wide legged jeans with a soft blue elastic waistband she sighed with relief. They felt so good. No pressure on her little bump. She pulled the sweater over her head and looked in the mirror. Funny how maternity clothes made a person both look and feel more pregnant. Sheridan walked up beside her and looked her over.

  "Isn’t that better?"

  "Yes. It’s better. I think I’ll get both pieces."

  "I think you’ll get the lot."

  "That’s too much money."

  "Don’t worry, Erin, Sean can afford it. He wants you to be as comfortable as possible." She scooped up the clothes and laid them on the counter.

  "Ma�
�am," the clerk said to Erin, "I wonder if you would be interested in these?" She handed her a couple of bras in rather strange colors.

  "What are they?" Erin wanted to know.

  "Nursing bras. Are you planning to breastfeed your baby?"

  "Of course."

  "Well nursing bras can be expensive, and I know you’re trying to keep the cost down. These are on clearance because no one liked the colors, but the design is really good. They’re quality pieces."

  It made sense, but the expense was getting ridiculous. On the other hand, they were very practical. The clerk rang up the sale and told Erin the total. She gasped.

  "Oh, I can’t spend that much. I have to put something back." She looked through the pile.

  "Erin, no. Don’t put anything back. There’s nothing extravagant here. You’ve really been very conservative. With these pieces, you’ll be all set for the rest of your pregnancy. Come on."

  "It’s too much Danny."

  "It isn’t."

  Erin looked at her stubbornly. This was going nowhere. What could Sheridan do?

  "I know." She pulled out her cell phone.

  "Murphy Construction and Renovation."

  "Sean, it’s Sheridan. I’m at the store with your wife. She’s balking at paying for these clothes. Talk to her."

  She handed Erin the phone.

  "What’s wrong baby?"

  "I have too much."

  "I doubt it."

  "There’s no way I can spend this much of your money."

  "How much?"

  "Almost $500.00"

  "Is that all? I thought you would get stuff for the whole pregnancy, not just the rest of winter."

  "I did."

  "Sounds like you did well then."

  "Sean…"

  "Erin, pay the bill. Just hand the nice cashier the credit card."

  She did.

  "Now listen. I’m not broke. If you need something, just get it okay? Promise me."

  "I’ll try."

  "Okay. I have to go. I love you."

  "Love you too."

  She gathered up her bags and the girls went to the food court for some lunch.