by Ruby Dixon
I think it is more than that, though. She is sad and misses Aayla and Raashel. I miss them just as deeply as she does. I am just as frustrated as she is that we cannot return to the village. But I understand my chief’s decision, even if I do not like it. I let him know my displeasure, and now there is nothing to do except hunt until my irritation eases. But my hunting partner, my Liz, is not interested in going out this day. She is too angry and wishes to stay in our tent and sulk. It is unlike her, but I know she misses our kits fiercely. And I think of her tears and how she clung to me, and…I wish to fix this.
I do not know how, but I will fix this. If I cannot bring her home to her young, I must do something that will bring her back to the teasing, clever mate that I love so well. It makes me ache to see her so defeated.
I head out to the beach, and as I do, I hear the quiet sound of sobbing. Har-loh, who is just as upset that she cannot see her kit as my Liz is. A moment later, Rukh emerges from their small cave, frustration plain on his face. He rakes his shaggy hair back from his face and then storms toward me, furious. “This is not right,” he declares. “We go home.”
“We cannot go,” I tell him flatly. “Much as I would like to leave, we are needed here. You know this. Liz and your Har-loh know this, too. They are just heavy with kit and sad. They will not risk the lives of these newcomers, no matter how much they might miss their kits.” There is a knot in my throat, because I miss my kits, too. Bah. I think of little Aayla and her round, happy little face and shining eyes. I think of my Raashel, who is far too clever, like her mother. She would greet me with her little sly smile and then search my pockets, looking for the small treats and presents I would bring her.
And I ache deep inside, because I want to hold them close and tell them of how much I have missed them, but I must wait longer still. I know they are safe. I cannot be too upset. Well, I can be a little upset. I would rather be with them than feeding these useless ones. But it must be done, and the newcomers wish to learn. We must be patient for a little longer.
Rukh growls. “I miss my son.”
“I miss my daughters,” I tell my brother. “But I cannot worry over them right now. I know they are safe and looked after in the village. It is my Liz that is my concern right now.”
Rukh crosses his arms and grunts, his jaw set in frustration. “My Har-loh will not stop crying.”
I know the helpless feeling. My mate wanted to make this No-Poison Day special for our daughters because we have another kit on the way very soon. Now we will not even be home to celebrate it. I think of the little gifts that Liz has been making around the fire each night. We can send them with the others on their journey, but it will not be the same as watching their faces when they get their gifts. My heart hurts at the thought, but I know Liz must be aching even more. She enjoys being at my side, but at the same time, she feels torn that she cannot be with the girls.
I hate that she feels regret. That she feels trapped here, away from our kits.
We must do something to bring smiles back to our mates’ faces.
“Let us bring No-Poison here,” Rukh says suddenly.
I clasp a hand on his arm, because he has said exactly what I was thinking. “A fine idea, my brother. We can look for plants close to camp and make bundles of them for our mates.”
“What else?” Rukh asks.
I do not remember. Most of it is foolishness, but my mate enjoys it. I rub my chin, thinking. “Perhaps we should ask some of the humans for suggestions.”
Rukh nods at the distant shore. I turn and look, and two humans stand on the sandy beach. One is Tee-ah, the young female. She talks to the one with the four-armed mate. I rack my mind, trying to recall her name. They all look the same to me—Not-Liz. It takes me a moment to remember—Lo-ren. I gesture for Rukh to follow and jog my way down toward the edge of the water.
The two humans stand and chatter, unaware of our approach. Lo-ren holds the motherless kit on her hip, talking to Tee-ah as she does. They watch the water, and a quick glance out shows that Lo-ren’s four-armed mate, K’thar, is learning to cast nets into the surf with Zolaya. It is a wise task for him to take on, because the strange male is extremely strong. After another cast of the nets deep into the water, he turns to his mate and makes a shivering motion, and then rolls his neck. This cool weather is new to his people. The humans said that the entire island was warm and steamy like the fruit cave. It sounds terrible.
“Ho,” I call out, doing my best to sound friendly.
The females turn to look at me, wariness on their faces as Rukh and I approach. I do not blame them. Normally I only speak to the humans to correct them on something they are doing wrong. Perhaps I am not the most patient of hunters. I hear Zolaya calling K’thar’s attention back to the nets—no doubt the protective male is ready to come and get between me and his mate if I make her upset. “I have a question. It is about human things,” I say, and do my best to be…well, if not pleasant, less fearsome.
“Human things?” Lo-ren echoes, bouncing the kit on her hip as she glances out to the waters and to her mate. “What sorts of human things?”
“We wish to know about No-Poison,” Rukh says.
“What?” Tee-ah blurts out, a confused expression on her face.
“The holiday,” I explain. “The one with the leaves and the kissing and the gifts.”
The two females exchange a glance. “Um, humans have a lot of holidays,” Lo-ren says.
I bite back my impatience. This is for Liz. “It is the holiday with the gifts,” I repeat, talking slowly. “With the tree and the strings of decorations.”
“And kissing,” Rukh adds.
Tee-ah giggles. Lo-ren gives her a quelling look and steps in front of her, a hint of a smile touching her mouth. “I’m going to assume you guys mean Christmas. Like Christmas trees and Santa Claus and giving presents, right?”
“What does that have to do with poison and kissing?” Tee-ah whispers loud enough for me to hear, but Lo-ren swats her with a hand and focuses her gaze on me, waiting.
At least one of these females is sensible. I ignore the silly, giggly one. “Yes. My mate is sad she cannot be home with our kits for the holiday and so I wish to give her the holiday here.”
“Aww, that’s sweet,” Tia says with another giggle. “I love it.”
“I—we,” I correct, pointing at Rukh, “wish to know how we can bring the holiday to our mates and make them smile.”
“Foot-ball games?” Rukh asks, gravely serious. “Eggs?”
Lo-ren looks even more puzzled. “Uh, okay. No, I wouldn’t start with those things. I’d start with gifts for your mates.”
“We will have something for them,” I say and give her an impatient flick of my hand. “Tell me of your traditions. Your customs. I need more of those.”
“Oh, um, all right. I’m guessing a big red suit and white beard is out. You could do a tree, though, and decorate it. Make it look festive.” Lo-ren adjusts the wraps around the kit on her hip as she speaks.
“With a star on top,” Tee-ah adds. “Gotta have a star.”
I do not know what she means by that, but I will figure it out. I look over at Rukh and he nods. We can do a tree. “What else?” I ask.
“Let’s see…presents, gifts,” Lo-ren says, pondering. “A family meal. Christmas carols!”
“Oooh, yes,” Tee-ah adds and claps her hands. “That would be perfect.”
“How is your singing voice?” Lo-ren asks.
It is not good. “Cay-rols are important to the holiday?”
“Very,” Tee-ah insists.
Then they must be done. “Teach me these songs.” I will learn them all and sing them to my mate to show her I care.
4
ELLY
I decide I’m going to give Christmas to Bek. Maybe he won’t be here for No-Poison Day to celebrate officially with the tribe, but that doesn’t matter. Kira helps me with the boots and I spend all night sewing because I’m too distracted to sleep
for a change. When dawn comes, I head out and join the others on their tree-hunting expedition. They’re not close to the trees we had at home, but I take a little pink one anyhow, make a stand for it, and then spend hours sitting in front of Kira’s hut with her and Kae and Erevair, making garlands from dried seeds. By the time the suns set that day, my hut is decorated, and I curl up on the blankets once more to work on Bek’s boots. After the boots, I want to make him a tunic. Maybe some special trail ration cakes he can take with him the next time he goes out. I can think of a million things my mate needs now that I sit down and really focus on him, and I want to make him everything.
When he gets home, I’ll be ready to celebrate with him, and the thought brings me joy and renewed purpose. If he can’t be here with me, I can still bask in his love.
5
BEK
“I need a new loincloth after that bit of travel,” Aehako tells me with a nervous laugh as we slide to the ground from the dragon’s back. He kneels in the snow and presses his horned brow to the ground. “I never thought I would be so glad to see snow underfoot.”
“Didn’t like air travel?” Vuh-ron-ca asks sweetly, her hand patting the golden dragon’s scales. “My poor Ashtar. So misunderstood.”
The dragon snorts and lowers one massive shoulder to let her down off his back. Over on the far side of the creature, Vektal and Rokan steady themselves, looking as ill at ease as I feel. My stomach is still gurgling unpleasantly from the ride over.
Hard to believe that the male called Ash-tar can turn into such a thing. Bigger than two sky-claw together, he is a massive predator of claws and scales and fanged teeth—and wings. It is like nothing I have ever seen before, but Vuh-ron-ca assures us that this is normal for his people. Ash-tar has told her all about it, and judging from how at ease she is with his strange, gargantuan form, this is not the first time she has encountered him as a dragon.
When I first heard that Ash-tar would be our travel, I thought I misunderstood. Then I worried that Vektal’s mind had perhaps gone soft, because the golden male is tall, but he is no stronger than any sa-khui male. I did not imagine how he would carry us and so quickly. Of course, I could never imagine that he would shift into such a creature. He is like nothing on this world…which should not surprise me, and yet does. For all his size and fierce demeanor, though, Ash-tar is extremely careful with his human mate, making sure she was seated well and covered up before he took off into the air.
And so we were carried on a dragon’s back through the air, in a leather pack of sorts that had two pouches hanging off each side of the dragon. Each hunter rode inside a pouch, surrounded with bags of supplies. Vuh-ron-ca calls it a “modified saddle” and explained that her people—humans—used to ride atop of animals much like Farli’s Chahm-pee, but such a suggestion seems ridiculous to me. The dvisti is dumb and skittish and smells bad. I do not understand why anyone would ride atop it when feet are perfectly fine. But…it is also hard to believe that we have made many days of travel and crossed over the mountains in one afternoon. Ash-tar could fly so high in his creature form that no obstacles stood in our way. The wind was biting to the bone at so high up, no matter how many layers I put over my body, but I cannot say that I am displeased.
If I must ride a monster to get to my Ell-ee, I will do so gladly.
The suns are setting in the distance, and here we are, at the lip of the gorge. It is oddly quiet, but cookfires thread plumes of smoke up from the gorge itself, so I know there are people below. Why does no one come to greet us?
“I think they’re scared of the dragon,” Vuh-ron-ca states, kneeling near a pack and opening it up, then shaking out a long, heavy fur cloak. She gets to her feet and holds it out. “Come on and change, babe. You’re scaring the locals.”
The enormous dragon makes a chuffing sound that might be laughter and tucks his massive wings in close against his body. Then, in the blink of an eye, the dragon is gone and Ash-tar is kneeling in the snow, naked and sweaty. The leather packs strapped across his back fall to the ground and Vuh-ron-ca moves to his side, wrapping him in the cloak and pressing a kiss to his face as he pulls her against him. “You did great, babe,” she tells him.
“I know,” he says, an arrogant smile playing on his mouth as he glances over at us. He is amused at how terrified we were at his flight.
I do not care. All I care about is that we are home and somewhere below, my Ell-ee waits for me. “Come,” I say, impatient. “Let us pick up our packs and go. I did not fly on the back of a monster all day to sit here at the entrance to the valley all night.”
“Grab a pack,” Vektal says. “For once, Bek is right.”
“My thanks for the confidence,” I retort. I do not mind his words, though. I am going home to my mate, and that is all that matters.
We each take some of the packs that were sent along with us. For those that were not allowed to return home on this trip, gifts and small treats were sent along from the Icehome camp. There are packs of shells for kits, salt for cooking, and a few frozen crawlers for meals, as well as bundles of fur and gifts of dried foods. It is a small comfort for those left behind, and I think of Liz’s and Raahosh’s sad faces when they found out there was no room for them to come. I will make sure to give their gifts to their kits and tell them how much their parents miss them.
“Ready?” Vektal asks, glancing around at our small group. I am curious as to why he would ask such a thing, and then I realize that Ash-tar is hovering very protectively over Vuh-ron-ca, who looks nervous. I wonder if she is like my Ell-ee in that she is anxious around new people. Wise of Vektal to try and ease their worries.
“Let us go see who is brave enough to greet us, eh?” Aehako sings out, all cheerfulness once more. “I would wager my best fur tunic that it will be Sessah, ready to shake his spear at us.”
I snort at that, because in my mind, Sessah is still a kit clinging to his mother’s tunic.
“All will be well,” Rokan promises. He has been quiet on this journey, and I wonder at his thoughts.
We take our packs and lower them down the pulley, then head down in groups. I go down with Aehako and Rokan, and Vektal stays close to Vuh-ron-ca and Ash-tar. I do wonder who will be coming to greet us. The elders? Kashrem and Hemalo? Sessah? There are not many hunters left in the village as of late, and the ones that are will be determined to protect their mates. I do not blame them. I should never have left my Ell-ee’s side. I have regretted it every day since. If Warrek and Harrec could stay behind because they were newly resonated, it should not matter that I had only a turn of the moon more with my mate. She is far more fragile in spirit than their mates. But then I feel guilty for thinking such a thing, because is my Ell-ee not strong and brave? It is only my longing that makes me worry over her. She is a survivor. She will be fine without me…and perhaps that is what worries me the most. That she will have decided she no longer needs me at her side. That she will be a different person when I return and even resonance will not anchor her to my side.
I rub my chest, wishing for the friendly hum of my khui that would tell me she is near, and that I am wanted.
A band of hunters appears at the far end of the canyon, spears in hand. I can make out Oshen’s age-rolled shoulders, and the two next to him must be Vadren and Drayan, with Drenol and Vaza behind them. I snort with amusement at that. Have the elders decided to come and protect the village and left the able-bodied hunters behind to protect their mates? It is admirable…and a little foolish as well.
Aehako raises a hand in the air, jogging forward. “Ho, Father. It is us! No need to be afraid.”
“My sons?” Oshen calls out, squinting as he steps forward.
“It is us, Father,” Rokan agrees, moving to Aehako’s side. “We have journeyed back.”
“But where are the rest?” Vadren asks, studying our small group. His braids are stark white against his skin and the hand that holds his spear trembles just a little, but he keeps himself strong and upright, a fierce look
on his weathered face as he studies Vuh-ron-ca and Ash-tar. “What of the giant creature in the sky? And who are these newcomers?”
“There is much to explain,” Vektal says briskly, moving forward. “But everyone is well and sends their greetings. It is good to see all of you.”
The elders cluster around us, offering to take packs and greeting the Icehome newcomers with pleasantries. I watch Aehako and Rokan hug their father and wonder if my sister and her family are well…but I mostly think of my Ell-ee. She is the one I truly want to see. “If we are done shaking our spears at each other, let us go home,” I announce, but everyone is busy exclaiming over Ash-tar’s scale-like golden skin and the packs of goods we carry. They are in no hurry, it seems.
Annoyed, I shoulder my pack and head on toward the village. They do not need me here for greetings. They are just fine without me. I head on through the canyon, my steps quickening as I round the bend and catch sight of the village at the far end of the gorge. The smoke from the fires has disappeared, and all of the huts have privacy screens in front of them. In the distance, I see a few hunters standing in front of the longhouse, armed with spears. No doubt they are still frightened at the appearance of the dragon.
Bah. The time for protectiveness is past. I cup a hand to my mouth, calling out for my mate. “Ell-ee! It is I, your Bek! I am home!”
“Bek?” A startled shriek rises from behind the wall of hunters standing in the doorway of the longhouse, and then a small figure wiggles out from underneath Haeden’s shoulder and races toward me. It is my mate, covered in furs, her pale face all eyes and pointed chin, and she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. My khui races at the sight of her, and my knees grow weak. I feel the overwhelming urge to weep like a female, I am so relieved to see her alive and well.