Love's Masquerade

by Radclyffe

  The woman, who Auden assumed to be one of the assistant managers, nodded. “Call the front desk when you know what you need and ask for Valerie Brown. They’ll find me.”

  “Thank you,” Gayle replied as she took the kit and disappeared again before Auden could ask her anything at all.

  After another interminable wait, during which time the lights on the phone blinked on and off several more times, Gayle finally reemerged from the bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind her.

  “She needs some sleep, Aud, but she wants to see you.” Gayle smiled, the kind of smile a doctor uses with worried loved ones. “Don’t stay too long, okay?”

  “Is she all right?”

  “She needs some sleep.”

  Auden had known Gayle Dunbar for almost seven years. She was closer to Gayle than to anyone in her life, even her family. But in all that time, she had never interacted with her as a physician. For the first time, she realized that there was another Gayle she barely knew. This woman’s expression was sympathetic and her tone soothing, but Auden could not see past the barriers in her eyes. “Gayle?”

  Gayle shook her head. “Go see her, Auden. She asked for you.”

  “Thank you,” Auden finally said, meaning it. Whatever had happened or would happen, she was grateful that Gayle had been there for Hays.

  *

  Auden knocked lightly. When the familiar deep voice answered, she was nearly weak with relief.

  “Hi,” Auden said softly as she stepped into the bedroom and carefully closed the door. Hays sat propped up on the bed, still fully clothed, but with the top two buttons of her shirt open. As Auden approached, Hays swung her legs to the side as if to rise. Quickly, Auden held up a hand. “No, please, don’t get up.”

  “It’s all right.”

  “I’m sure it is.” Auden kept her voice as casual as she could. “But there’s no need for formality. You’re fine right there. I just wanted to see how you are.”

  Hays gestured to the side of the bed with her hand and reclined again. “Please, sit down.”

  Auden sat, her left hand a few inches away from where Hays’s lay on top of the covers. “How are you feeling?”

  So lightly as to be almost unnoticeable, Hays rested her fingers on Auden’s. When she answered, her voice was gentle. “I’m fine. I’m sorry if I worried you.”

  Without thinking, Auden laced her fingers through Hays’s. The small bit of contact was enormously comforting. “I can see that you’re better now. That’s all that really matters.”

  “Apparently, I skipped one meal too many yesterday and was so busy talking to you that I forgot breakfast as well.” Hays smiled ruefully. “It was just a combination of too little sleep and not enough fuel. Nothing to be concerned about.”

  “Well. I just needed to see for myself that you’re all right.” Auden stared at their interlocked fingers, rubbing her thumb softly over the space between Hays’s thumb and index finger. The skin was so soft there and the muscle beneath so tender. She’d never noticed before how beautiful a woman’s hands could be. Before Hays could reply, Auden lifted her gaze and met the midnight eyes searching her face. “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it. But please, I’d rather you didn’t lie to me.”

  Hays drew a swift breath, her grip tightening on Auden’s. “Auden—”

  “You have no reason to trust me, and I’m not asking you to. Not now. Maybe someday...” Auden looked away, then with a tremulous smile, continued. “I have no idea why I feel so close to you so quickly. It doesn’t make any sense, but then not much has for the past week or so. There’s something between us, and even if it’s simply friendship, it feels special.”

  “I know.” Hays’s voice was low, husky, barely audible. “I can’t explain it either, but I feel it, too.”

  “I want you to know something,” Auden said with absolute conviction. “Everything about last night, not just the kiss, was perfect. And that is something that I’ll never forget.”

  “No, neither will I.” Hays smiled faintly, resting her head back on the pillows. She was so very tired, and the touch of Auden’s hand made it so difficult to think. But for the first time in longer than she could remember, she felt peaceful, without fear or sadness, and she didn’t want to lose that tranquility. She didn’t want Auden to go.

  Auden saw Hays’s eyelids flutter and realized that she was fighting sleep. Although she was loathe to leave her, she remembered Gayle’s admonition not to linger. Fleetingly, she wondered if Hays would even remember this conversation, but then realized that didn’t matter. She would remember. Carefully, she began to withdraw her fingers from Hays’s grasp. “You need to rest.”

  “Could you stay...just another minute?”

  There was a look of such unguarded need in Hays’s eyes that Auden wasn’t sure she could answer. Her throat was suddenly so tight she couldn’t swallow. What she wanted to do was take Hays in her arms and shelter her, keep her safe. She leaned forward and with her free hand brushed the hair back from Hays’s forehead. “I will if you promise to close your eyes and try to sleep.”

  For the longest moment, Hays simply stared into Auden’s eyes as if she were searching for deliverance. Then she nodded wearily. “I promise.”

  Auden sat unmoving for a long time, listening until Hays’s breathing became slow and regular. Finally, satisfied that the other woman was truly resting comfortably, she extricated her hand from Hays’s grip and rose carefully. She hesitated, indulging herself by simply watching Hays sleep, and then she leaned down and kissed Hays’s forehead. Ever so softly she whispered, “Sleep well, sweet Hays.”

  *

  When Auden walked through Hays’ sitting room, she noticed a small orange plastic vial in the center of the coffee table with a note beside it. In Gayle’s handwriting, she read, Take these as directed. Call me at x3251 if your fever spikes. Gayle had underlined Call me.

  Auden picked up the vial but didn’t recognize the name of the medication. Then, mortified to realize that she was prying into Hays’s private business, she hurriedly replaced the container next to Gayle’s instructions. Without looking back, she crossed to the door, pulled it open, and stepped into the hall.

  Abel Pritchard, looking more disturbed and angry than she had ever seen him, stood just outside. “Why didn’t you call—”

  “Shh!” Auden said forcefully, pulling the door nearly closed. “She’s asleep.”

  He looked past her into the suite as if expecting to see Hays standing there. Then, he made an almost visible effort to compose himself. When he spoke again, his voice was once again dispassionate.

  “What happened?”

  “She fainted downstairs.”

  Pritchard regarded Auden intently. “Describe for me exactly what occurred.”

  For a second, Auden returned his stare. She didn’t want to talk about Hays without her knowledge, especially remembering how desperately Hays had not wanted people to see her incapacitated. “Hays can tell you when she wak—”

  “She may not remember everything, Ms. Frost.” His blue eyes were nearly purple with the effort to contain his emotions. A soft sigh escaped him. “Please. It’s important—for her.”

  There was something about the sadness in his voice that made Auden’s stomach twist. She was frightened—no, more than frightened. Thinking about Hays being ill, she was sick at heart. Straightening her shoulders, she cleared her throat and quietly told him everything she could recall, which wasn’t much because it had been over so fast.

  “Did she regain consciousness immediately?”

  “Yes, very nearly so. She was out for a minute, no more,” Auden answered, sorting through the jumble of memories, colored now by her own growing alarm. He seems far more upset than a simple fainting spell warrants.

  “And when she awoke—she knew you?”

  Auden? Auden’s voice was tight. “Yes. She was a little confused at first, but that passed quickly.”

  “Did she strike her head when she
fell?”

  “No, I don’t think so. No. She just went down.” Auden’s heart was pounding now. “Mr. Pritchard, what—”

  “Did she complain about anything at all? Chest pain?”

  “God, no. It was just a few seconds, and then she seemed to recover.” Auden steadied herself with a hand on the door. “Gayle checked her right away, and she didn’t seem too worried.”

  “Gayle?”

  “I’m sorry. My friend, Gayle—Dr. Dunbar. She examined Hays up here.”

  Pritchard’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Your doing?”

  “Yes.” Auden blushed. “I asked Gayle to check her.”

  “And Hays complied?”

  “She resisted a bit,” Auden replied with a fond smile, “but Gayle insisted.”

  “Yeess,” Pritchard said slowly. “I’m sure it was your doctor friend who persuaded her.” He drew himself up, his eyes having regained their glacial clarity. “I appreciate your assistance, Ms. Frost. Please forgive my earlier outburst.”

  “No need for apologies, Mr. Pritchard. We were all a bit worried.”

  He nodded, then stepped through the door into Hays’ suite. The door swung closed, leaving Auden alone in the hallway.

  *

  Auden returned to her suite and found Gayle waiting in the sitting room. It was hard for Auden to believe that, only hours before, they had been curled up on the sofa, talking about their love lives. Now, it seemed as if everything had changed.

  “Hi,” Auden said quietly as she walked to the large double windows and pulled back the drapes to look out. “It’s still snowing.”

  “Yeah.” Gayle joined her at the window. “Fox Weather said it would let up sometime near dawn tomorrow.”

  “Another night here, then.”

  “Uh-huh. Mrs. T says Shy prefers his kibble with warm gravy. By the time I get home, he’s going to look like a little brown and white bowling ball.” Gayle laughed softly.

  “Is everything okay there?” Auden watched the snow fall and thought about standing in the moonlight with Hays. Remembered looking down on the square, warmed by Hays’s voice in the still night and stirred by the feel of her in the dark, even though they had not touched.

  “The college kid next door has been keeping the walks clear. They’re fine.”

  “Good.”

  “Liz called. She said she and Thane want to come by and play cards. You up for that?”

  “I don’t know, Gayle.” Auden sighed. “I’m not feeling like I’d be very good company.”

  Gayle slid her arm around Auden’s waist. “It’ll pass the time.”

  “Is she in any danger?” The question was quiet, wistful.

  “Aud, I can’t.” Gayle held her closer. “I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t have to tell me anything confidential,” Auden said, finally meeting Gayle’s gaze. “Just...for tonight? Will she be all right?”

  “Oh, honey,” Gayle murmured, brushing her fingers over Auden’s cheek. “What’s that I see in your eyes?”

  Auden knew, but just shook her head.

  “Yes,” Gayle said at last. “For tonight, she’s all right.”

  Auden turned back to the storm, finding comfort in the memories swirling in the snow. “Thank you.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  “God damn it, Teddy,” Liz complained as she pushed her last two quarters into the pile of change in the center of the coffee table. “You’ve got to be bluffing. Nobody could win five hands in a row.”

  The foursome was sitting on the floor around the coffee table in the sitting room of Auden and Gayle’s suite. They’d been playing cards and talking for several hours. Gayle looked across the table at Thane, who had a satisfied smile on her face.

  “Teddy?” Gayle asked, an eyebrow raised and a grin quirking the corner of her mouth.

  Thane met Gayle’s eyes and shrugged. “Theodora.”

  “Nice.”

  Gayle’s voice was soft, almost sensuous, and Thane blushed. “Thanks.”

  “Which do you prefer? Thane or Teddy?”

  “Whichever you like,” Thane replied, her own voice susurrant. “So much of my day is spent writing and corresponding as Thane, I answer to it as naturally as to anything else.”

  “I guess it would depend on the circumstances then, wouldn’t it,” Gayle remarked, her eyes dropping for an instant to Thane’s expressive mouth.

  “I guess it would.”

  Liz coughed. “Any chance you could see my bet, Teddy?”

  Without taking her eyes from Gayle’s face, Thane picked up a dollar bill from her winnings and deposited it on the money in the middle of the table. “See you and double the raise.”

  “Pretty confident, aren’t you?” Liz leaned forward to slide her wallet from the pocket of her slacks. A moment later, she placed a bill on top of Thane’s. “I’m calling your bluff this time.”

  Thane finally looked from Gayle to Liz, her grin widening. She fanned her cards and put them down. “Full house. Aces over eights.”

  Gayle laughed as Liz muttered, “Son of a bitch.”

  Throughout the exchange, Auden sat quietly, observing with only half a mind the interplay between the three women. She couldn’t think of anything except Hays, knowing she was right down the hall, but not knowing how she was. Not knowing if she was resting peacefully, or if she was caught in the throes of a nightmare, or worse, if she was even more ill than earlier. A dozen times, she’d thought of calling Abel Pritchard, just to ask for an update. She hadn’t, not because it would’ve embarrassed her for him to know of her concern, but because she did not want to invade the privacy that Hays obviously guarded so closely. The hours had passed incredibly slowly. She had truly tried to immerse herself in the good-natured repartee, but the ache in her chest made it impossible.

  When the phone rang, Auden jumped. She and Gayle looked at each other, and Auden said quickly, “I’ll get it.” She crossed rapidly to the writing desk in the corner and snatched up the receiver. “Hello?”

  She could see Gayle watching her from across the room, and she quickly shook her head, indicating it was not for Gayle. Turning her back slightly to the group, she murmured, “Are you all right? Do you need to speak to Gayle?...Are you sure?...What, tonight?...No, no, I wouldn’t mind at all.”

  When Auden hung up the phone, she found that the other women were all watching her expectantly. She was sure they were curious about what had happened earlier, but after she’d said that Hays was fine, neither Liz nor Thane had asked for further details. “Would it ruin your game if I dropped out? That was Hays. She wants to talk to me about...work.”

  “No problem.”

  “Sure.”

  “Go ahead.”

  Gayle got to her feet and crossed to Auden. In a voice too low to be heard clearly by the others, she asked, “Is she all right?”

  “She says that she is.” Auden’s discomfort was clear. “I’m not sure I believe that.”

  “You can always call me if you think there’s a problem. We’ll probably all still be hanging out here. You don’t mind that, do you?”

  “No, of course not. Will you be okay? I don’t mean to—”

  “Hey,” Gayle said with a laugh, placing her fingers lightly on Auden’s wrist. “Everything is fine. I’ve got a little more than twenty-four hours before I have to be at the hospital for another twenty-four-hour shift. Believe me, there are worse ways to spend it than trapped in a hotel room with a couple of good-looking women.”

  Auden studied Gayle intently. “Just be careful, okay?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know, I’ve never seen you when you’ve been...trying to make a connection with a woman.”

  Gayle lowered her voice even more, although Thane and Liz were bickering over who had lost more times at poker and were not listening. “You mean cruising? Is it that obvious?”

  “If you’re trying to hit on Thane, then it is. If not, then I’m worse at this than I thought.”


  “You’re not wrong.” Gayle sighed. “But she’s such a player, I can’t read her at all. She probably flirts with everyone, and besides, I still think she’s hot for you.”

  “I am not interested in Thane Cutlass,” Auden whispered vehemently. “And she does not look at me the way she looks at you.”

  “Yes, she does. You just haven’t been paying any attention.” Gayle stroked her hand. “Worried about Hays?”

  Auden nodded, slid her fingers up, and squeezed Gayle’s. “You’re my best friend. I only ever want you to be happy.”

  “Oh, Aud.” Gayle leaned forward and kissed her quickly on the cheek. “Why in hell I didn’t fall for you long ago, I’ll never know. Don’t worry, honey, my heart is too cynical to get broken.”

  Auden knew that wasn’t true, but she sensed that Gayle needed to believe it. “Well, be careful anyhow. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

  “If there’s a towel on my bedroom door, you’ll know I got lucky.”

  “A towel?”

  Gayle grinned. “Old sorority signal to tell your roommate to sleep somewhere else.”

  “You have got to tell me those stories,” Auden replied. “Later.”

  “Uh-huh. Go on. Go see her.”

  A minute later, Auden was finally headed where she had wanted to be all evening.

  *

  Auden rang the buzzer by the suite door and waited with a flurry of anxious anticipation in the pit of her stomach. Less than a minute passed before the door swung open, but it seemed like a lifetime. Then Hays stood before her in a black T-shirt and the blue jeans she had worn earlier, and the world seemed to right itself for the first time in hours. Hays’s hair was wet from the shower, and her eyes were clear and bright.

  “Hi,” Hays said softly. She stepped back so that Auden could enter.

  “Hi.”