by K. Darblyne
His eyes registered the terror of the thought as he looked back to the patient lying on the gurney, then, nodding to the surgeon, he joined the group in the hall.
The trio of nurses and the surgeon proceeded to take samples from the various orifices of the patient’s body, making sure to label them appropriately. Each one was silently standing vigil to the serious nature of their job. The act of the rape alone was degrading and demoralizing to a woman, but now, to have to emphasize each area of possible contact or penetration for clinical inspection and sampling could be just as traumatic. The surgeon kept a professional demeanor in her voice as she stated her findings for the videotape to record.
The entire time Danni spoke softly into the injured woman’s ear, advising her of what they were doing and soothing her of any fears of a repeated attack. It seemed to be working, as the monitors showing the vital signs never wavered from the her normal with each new probing of her exposed body. She watched intently at the actions of her friends. She could see the tired and drawn look in the surgeon’s face.
The last intrusion into the patient’s privacy was the combing of any body hair for stray pieces of evidence. The surgeon carefully ran the comb over the sensitive body parts, gathering any loose strands of hair or fibers into the plastic bags that Rosie held open. The nurse sealed the bag and marked it with the site of the collection. Having completed the examination and evidence gathering, Garrett finished the trauma protocol by placing a urinary catheter and probing the patient’s rectum with her gloved and lubricated digit for any signs of internal bowel trauma and bleeding.
"Hemoccult negative," she reported for the record as she disposed of the soiled gloves and testing kit. She turned to see Rosie unfolding a fresh, warmed blanket over the patient’s body as the sound of the respirator kept a steady rhythm in the background. The curtain had been opened and the exiled trauma team now ventured into the room. The touch on her arm caught her attention, turning to see the petite nurse standing next to her.
"Don’t you think you were a little rough on that medical student?" She wrinkled her nose and looked up into the blue pools of the surgeon’s eyes. "He was only doing what he thought you wanted him to do..." the nurse was trying to smooth over the earlier confrontation, "…after all, it’s not like he fell asleep again."
All eyes were on the pair, watching for the tall surgeon’s response. Garrett finished removing her mask and gown, letting the full impact of Danni’s speech sink in. Graciously looking around the room at the many shocked faces staring back at her in awe, the surgeon smiled politely. "Ah…Danni, could I see you in the conference room, please?" Her voice was sickeningly sweet, as the smile never left her face. "Rosie, can you keep an eye on the patient?" Garrett looked over to Rosie enlisting her approval.
"Yeah, go ahead. I got you covered here." The nurse made herself busy, preparing the patient for the upcoming CT Scan.
"Thank you." The surgeon started out of the trauma room into the hall, only to stop suddenly and lean back into the room, "You know where I’ll be if you need me for anything. This should really only take a minute or two." Turning briskly, her determined stride carried her into the conference room.
The petite nurse stood, looking dumfounded. She quickly gazed from Karen to Rosie, as if looking for some kind of answer to Garrett’s behavior. Each one shrugged at the other as their eyes made contact, not knowing what to expect from the surgeon. ‘Why do I feel like I’m a sheep being lead to the slaughter?’ Taking a deep breath, Danni walked into the conference room as she quietly exhaled, trying as she might to settle her nerves.
The surgeon stood facing the large audio-visual cart at the opposite end of the room, her face, a stoic mask, as she looked blankly out of one of the windows that lined the hallway. Sensing that the young nurse had stepped into the room, the surgeon turned just slightly, "Come in. Oh, and close the door will you?" The nurse obliged and moved further into the room, her eyes never leaving the tall woman’s figure.
Garrett didn’t like what she was going to have to do, but she could not afford a breach in command, not in front of the team. She sniffed as she thought of how military her thoughts were. ‘By the gods, I guess some of the Navy actually rubbed off on me over the last three years.’ She swept her tongue over the front of her teeth as she readied herself, her eyes closing momentarily at the thought of disciplining a friend.
"Danni," she started then turned to face the nurse. "What were you doing in there just now?" Her face remained a stoic mask as she waited for an answer.
The petite nurse looked into the face of the woman in front of her. "I…I just thought that maybe…" she now stared at the floor, "…maybe you were a little tired and didn’t realize how the medical student felt."
"No, what you don’t realize is you tried to use our friendship in a professional setting." Garrett sighed, and positioned herself on the opposite side of the conference table. "I can’t have that outside bond invade and undermine my chain of command."
Danni looked at her friend in a different light as she locked on to the steely gaze coming at her.
Each time, the surgeon emphasized her involvement and responsibility by stressing the singular pronoun louder than the last one. "I’m dealing with a patient’s life in that room and my words have to stand as the bottom line. Not only does that one single patient rely on me to make the correct decisions now, but every patient that any member of that team treats in a latter trauma setting depends on me, and what I was able to teach them in there today."
Her crystal orbs had not left the shimmering green eyes of the nurse. Garrett leaned over the table with both her tightly fisted hands resting on it. The hard lines of her face gave her stare even more intensity to the words that she spoke. "If you were in the Navy, I’d be having you up on charges of insubordination. Damn it! I’d have to do it, too! You questioned my authority in front of my team."
At first Danni had tried to make excuses for the actions of her friend, but with each new acclamation of total responsibility, the nurse became more defensive with both her posture and thinking. This was not the friend and roommate that she knew, but rather some egotistical tyrant that had descended from some lofty throne to lay claim to her territory. ‘How dare she think that without her, we would not be able to treat this patient or the ones to follow. By the gods, how does she think we took care of the patients before she came here?’
Garrett sighed heavily. "Do you think I like the idea of singling out that medical student for his actions? Someone has to show them what the reality of this profession is. If they can’t handle the job now, then they need to think about getting out before they waste their lives and a lot of everyone else’s time trying to teach them. And let’s not forget about the patients and the lives that they could really screw-up now can we? It’s easier to get a bad seed out now, than to wait until they become a licensed physician. I can’t see him going into debt, trying to be something that he was never cut out to be."
By now the young nurse had crossed her arms over her chest and begun tapping her foot nervously, waiting for the verbal rampage to end. She bit the inside of her lip so as not to blurt out a rebuttal, until the surgeon had ended her litany of self-exoneration for her earlier actions.
Momentarily, Danni’s gaze had been distracted by the figure of Dr. Potter as she walked down the hall past the window behind Garrett. It had given her enough pause to think of her co-workers over the years and of all the people who had been seen as patients through the trauma suite. She was more determined than ever to let this newcomer know just how she thought. Her green eyes turned into a churning sea of emotions as she narrowed her gaze into the surgeon’s blue pools.
Not being one to yell and scream in anger, Danni initiated her rebuttal in a calm, orderly fashion. Letting her hands go down to her sides, the young nurse asked, "Can you spell the word ‘trauma’ for me?"
This had completely taken the surgeon off her guard. "What?" Her eyes expressing a puzzled look as she reg
arded the nurse.
The petite woman smiled coyly at her adversary; "I asked how you spell the word ‘trauma’." She paused waiting to hear the answer.
"What does that have to do with…"
"No, I want to see if you spell it the same way as we do. Please, humor me."
The tall woman grimaced, rolling her eyes and curtly replied, "T-R-A-U-M-A. But I don’t see…."
"HMMM, just as I thought." The nurse crossed her abdomen with one arm as she allowed her chin to rest in a thoughtful pose with the other arm. "You know how to spell the word, but you really don’t see what it’s all about, now, do you?" Her pose once again relaxed at the startled look on the surgeon’s face.
"What do you mean by that? I know all about…." The surgeon’s gaze narrowed as her eyes took on an ice-like appearance.
"NO! You think you know all about trauma, but let me tell you what trauma really means." The nurse placed her hands on her hips in a defiant manner. "Let me spell the word out for you in the manner that we understand it here." Her right hand began ticking off the letters as she said them. "T stands for Teamwork in a tense setting. R stands for Respect of not only the patient’s life and privacy, but also that of the staff you’re teamed with. A takes into consideration the feeling of Achievement in the patient’s physical and emotional outcome. U reminds us of our need to be in Unison when dealing with the matters at hand. M brings to mind that the Mortality of the patient is as fragile as our own." Her right hand being completely used she brought her left one up extending her thumb. "And finally A leads us to Anticipate the needs of the family in response to the patient’s injured state." The young woman’s face tightened into a hard and calculating stare. She had gradually made her way closer to the table as she had spelled out the list of letters in the word.
"There doesn’t seem to be any ‘I’ in the word trauma when you think of it in that respect, hmmm, is there?" Before she knew it, the nurse was leaning on the table giving the appearance of a mirror image of Garrett’s aggressive stance.
The face-off arrived much to the surgeon’s surprise. She had never considered that the young woman would be so adamant about the surgeon’s possessive and controlling nature. It was something that had always come so naturally to her that she had never given it very much thought. Besides, everyone had always assumed that she would take charge just by her physical appearance alone. ‘What is it about this slip of a girl that makes her think she can stand up to me?’ She fought hard to control her raging anger at her friend. ‘No. Friendship had no place in this argument,’ she thought, ‘this is totally on a professional level.’ The ice blue of her eyes turned even colder as she smashed her fist against the table. "Damn it, Danni. You’re going to make me do this, aren’t you?"
The nurse caught the motion of the surgeon’s arm as it brought all the force that it could muster into the downward slam, impacting the table. She never flinched at the sound or the vibrations that emanated throughout the piece of furniture advancing up into her hands. She had made her stand. There would be no backing down now. She thought of how her mother had always warned her when she was growing up that her stubbornness, in the defense of others, would be her downfall.
"Do what you have to…You will anyway." The spitfire of a nurse spat back at the menacing figure before her, the turmoil of emotions building deep within her small frame.
Garrett’s voice lowered an octave and the rumble of it over her lips caused the hair to raise on the young woman’s neck. "You’re out of my traumas starting now!" She inched even closer to the blonde’s face with her own. "I don’t care if you go home, go to lunch, or just hang out for the rest of your shift." She audibly filled her lungs with air. "I…don’t…want…to… see…you," saying each word singularly for emphasis, "in my trauma rooms for the rest of the night." She paused. "Do you…" she drew the word out,
"understand me?"
The electricity of the moment charged the air around the pair, as they faced nose to nose across the table. The hair on their arms was standing on end as if they had been in close proximity to a lightning strike. They were in their own microcosm, unaware of the stunned expressions on the faces of the people that lined the hall outside of the trauma room, staring in at them through the window.
The Charge Nurse made the sign of the cross on her body, praying that one of her pseudo-daughters would not be the next trauma as she headed toward the conference room’s closed door. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing, especially from her non-confrontational friend.
As if to add further emphasis to her proclamation, the raven-haired woman gritted her teeth showing the stark whiteness of them saying, "I call the shots here, not the nurses."
Seeing that they had reached a standoff, Danni acquiesced, "Fine!" Then turned with the speed of a tornado and stormed out of the now opened conference room door.
Karen stepped back releasing the doorknob, her mouth agape. She watched as the blonde spitfire brushed past her and headed down the hall, cutting a wide path from all that she passed by.
Without stopping or slowing down, the young nurse called back, "I’ll be going to lunch now, Mom." The tasseled blonde locks of hair moved with the shaking of her head. She had left, walked right out of the area before she would regret anything she may do. She needed time to think and definitely to cool down her hot temper. It didn’t manifest itself often, but when it did…well, she’d rather not think about that. She may be small but her mind could hold its own against the likes of anyone ten times her size, whether that was stature or ego.
Garrett knew that the older nurse was quietly studying her solemn figure, which still occupied the room. The drain of energy from the surgeon’s spent emotions was evident as she hung her head in disbelief at what had just transpired between her and the person she had thought of as a friend. ‘If only she hadn’t pushed me so hard.’ The surgeon closed her eyes and shook her head; ‘It wouldn’t have come to this.’ The woman brought her eyes up to see Karen standing in the doorway. "Yes?" she inquired distractedly.
"They’re ready for your patient in CT Scan now," she struggled to keep her voice calm.
Garrett nodded her head, "Tell Rosie that she’s now Trauma One for the rest of the night. Oh, …and Mom," she paused to look directly at the Charge Nurse. "You’re going to have to find someone else to take up the Trauma Two position."
"Okay," the nurse speculated for a moment. "Dr. Trivoli," the older nurse deliberated about offering help, but then thought better of it as she saw the distant look in the surgeon’s eye. "We’ll take the patient down to CT, you can meet up with us there."
The tall woman raised her hand in a motion of her approval, and then stood with her eyes closed, just trying to reign in her feelings toward the emotional outburst that she had just been a part of. She knew that the sleep-deprived state she was in had helped to set her on edge. Her furry had rapidly turned into a full-fledged, "batten down your hatches" storm front. Now, she would just have to ride out the swell of the waves that were sure to be gathering around her. It would be imperative for her to keep on course, especially in the state she was in. "By the gods, I hate emotions!" She mused, ‘I never felt like this when I didn’t let anyone get close to me.’ Then she sighed.
The Charge Nurse looked down at her wrist, noticing the time, she smiled in recognition as she jotted down 2210 in the patient’s chart as the time of departure for the scanner. It was still the same day as when she and Danni had watched the magnificent red hues in the morning sky. ‘I guess neither one heeded the warning,’ she mused, as if in answer to the earlier question.
Chapter 11
The small office reverberated with the sounds of muffled snores as the dim light, afforded by the screen saver, cast a dancing rainbow of colors from the rippling bezel pattern that illuminated the monitor. Next to the computer terminal the slumped-over form lay sprawled across the metal desktop, the head nestled into the long muscular arm folded around it as if it were a cradle, its face covered by
cascading lengths of raven hair. It certainly was not the most comfortable of places to choose to sleep, but when the realms of Morpheus did finally entreat the weary surgeon, she could barely refuse. The depleted body needed to rest and heal the wounds that the previous weeks of unsatisfying sleep had languished on her. It didn’t matter where or how, just that sleep was the ultimate goal. She hadn’t fought it when it came but instead gave into it willingly letting her mind embrace it, allowing it to soothe her tortured soul.
The subdued noises coming from the beeper that rested on the waist of her scrub pants was all that was needed to cause a half-lidded eye to stir. The covering slowly rising with each reminding tone until the entire eyelid had retreated from sight. It took several minutes, but gradually the blurred perception seen out of the lone eye began to clear, bringing her vision and mind into focus. She hesitantly pushed her body off of the desk, allowing the muscles in her shoulders and back time to work out any kinks found along the way. ‘Jeez, I feel like I’ve done battle with an equally matched opponent.’ Her mind flashed with thoughts of Danni standing her down across the conference table. Once sitting fully erect, she stretched her long arms out to the sides. ‘Well, I guess that’s one friend you can say you lost before you knew them. I can’t believe that I can be so bull-headed.’ As if to grasp something that was passing her by, she contracted her fingers, then hands and arms crossing her chest trying to hold on to what had been a moment ago evading her. ‘You’re just never going to learn are you, Garrett. Empty as usual.’