Reeve (The Phoenix Boys #3)

by Amy Davies

  This time in LA with always be the most treasured moments of my life, meeting everyone, seeing the twins being born. And finding love, even though the love shattered me. I sit in the airport and people watch, their lives looking perfect to everyone on the outside but knowing how they are feeling on the inside, just like me. I look like the typical tourist but on the inside I am completely shattered and feeling cold and naked with emotion. I take my earbuds out of my bag and place them in my ears and settle into my seat and listen to music. The Script’s ‘No Good in Goodbye’ plays and the lyrics sit heavy on my heart.

  ‘Where's the "good" in "goodbye"?

  Where's the "nice" in "nice try"?

  Where's the "us" in "trust gone"?

  Where's the "soul" in "soldier on"?

  Now I'm the "lone" in "lonely"

  'Cause I don't own you only

  I can take this mistake

  But I can't take the ache from heartbreak

  No, I can't take the ache from heartbreak’

  During the two connecting flights I do nothing but sleep. My body is aching from all the emotions and I just crash. The bus ride from Heathrow down to Cardiff is long but comfortable. The whole bus ride was mixed with so many emotions. Anger at Reeve for hurting me the way he did, he just simply threw me away. The pain and longing of not seeing all the amazing new friends that I made there. Skeet, oh my boyo Skeet, by Christ I am going to miss him. The girls and their witty ways and sassy mouths. I love them all and one day I hope that I will get to see them again. One day.

  I listen to Natalie Imbrulia’s ‘Torn’ on the bus and the words hit my soul; it’s the perfect song that explains how Reeve left me feeling. But for now, I am just happy to be back home in Wales. Ok, the weather is shit, but I am used to it even after spending weeks in the beautiful LA sun. I climb off the bus and see Ryan standing there waiting for me, in his uniform. God, he looks so handsome in his police uniform. That was one little tidbit I forgot to tell Reeve.

  “Ryan,” I say, my voice cracking with emotion. He wraps his arms around me.

  “Shhh, Leah it will be fine. You are strong and you will get over this, over him. You are an Adams and we don’t let any fucker keep us down, now do we?” I shake my head no and bury my face back in my brother’s chest and he smells like home.

  Home. I am not really sure where that is at this moment in time.

  Chapter 21

  Reeve

  Fucking old man driver, I am pretty fucking sure that once a person hits a certain age they should be made to give up their license. My poor baby, she has a freaking dent in her side. I cannot believe the guy hit my car. Not only that, but I left my damned phone at the studio so I couldn’t call Lipsy and let her know I would be late. I can’t even call my brothers to call Lipsy for me. Fuck, this night couldn’t get any worse. The police come and take all of our details and lucky enough for me, my car is still drivable. I speed to the restaurant in no time, walking straight past the hostess, ignoring her attempts to stop me. I look around the room but don’t see my girl anywhere. Where the hell is she? I check the time on my watch and see that I am over an hour late for our date. Oh fuck, she is going to rip my balls off and feed them to me, I just know.

  Fucking shit.

  I walk back to the hostess. “My name is Reeve Phoenix and I had a table booked here tonight but I am late, do you know if my girlfriend left?”

  “Yeah, she was here but she left a little while ago. I saw a couple help her to their car,” she says and walks away. Helped her into their car? What the hell?

  “What do you mean, they helped her into their car? Was she ok?” I follow after her.

  “She was upset after making a phone call, she left with them.” Well, fucking shit.

  “Hey, can I use the phone here please, I really need to make a call?” She nods; it must be the desperation on my face that she sees and she shows me to the phone.

  “Yo, bro. How’s the date?” Rafe answers.

  “Rafe, please tell me that Lipsy is with you and the girls.”

  “No, I thought you would be on your date by now. What the fuck has happened, Reeve?”

  “I left my phone at the studio and then I got into a little car accident so I couldn’t let Leah know that I was going to be late. She left the restaurant in tears, Rafe. Some couple took her in their car. I am heading to your place now, meet me there.” Time doesn’t go fast enough as I drive to my brother’s place, praying that I find a very pissed off Lipsy, ready to ream me. Fuck, please God, let her be ok. I pull up outside the apartment building, turning off the engine and jumping out of the car. I run as fast I can up to the apartment, I don’t even lock my car. I get to the door and unlock it quickly. Swinging the door open, I am met with total silence. Total emptiness fills the apartment; even with all the furniture in here it feels empty and that’swhen I know that something is wrong. I run to the room she has been staying in.

  “Lipsy.” I say as I open the door and my heart stops. The blood running through my body runs cold. I scan the room, thinking that in the flurry of trying to get here that my mind is playing tricks on me. I squeeze my eyes shut tight and try to shake the scene before me.

  The empty room.

  The closet door is open and I can see that her clothes are not in there, some hangers are on the floor, she packed in a rush. The drawers are still open, but also empty. I walk into the room and see that her suitcases are gone, she has literally packed up and fucking left me. What the fuck happened? I turn to see Rafe and Juicy standing at the door. Juicy is crying and Rafe looks like he could murder me. Dread fills me.

  “What the fuck happened? Where the hell would she go? Did something happen back home and she left?” I throw every question that comes to mind at them both. I see Juicy is holding a piece of paper in her hand. My heart beats faster than it should be, something must be wrong back home. She must be so fucking scared and she could not get a hold of me because I left my phone at the studio.

  “Is that from, Lipsy?” I nod my head in the direction of the note. Juicy nods her head. Tears are still flowing. “What did she say?”

  “This letter is to me and Rafe. This one is yours.” She hands me a piece of paper with my name on it.

  “What the fuck did you do, bro? I fucking warned you not to hurt her, but no, you had to take on the one challenge and you fucking broke her.” What the living fuck? He pulls Lucy out of the room and I hear the front door slam shut behind them. I walk over to her bed and sit on the edge. Taking a deep breath, I open the letter.

  Reeve

  I truly thought that you were the one for me, you showed me that even though we may not feel good enough to love or be loved, that we truly are. You have helped me see that I was enough and that I can be loved and in a split second you tore that from me. You have left me shattered and shamed. You have shown me that I will never be enough for anyone. Fuck you very much for that by the way. I am going home, back to Wales and really suggest that you don’t contact me again. It will be too hard to hear from you, even though I hate you right now.

  What I will ask is that when you truly find your right Inside Noise that you will love her with all of your heart because Reeve, you are enough and I am sorry that I wasn’t enough for you.

  With all this hurt flowing through me I hope that one day I will feel enough for a man to love, I just wish that man was you.

  Goodbye Reeve.

  “What the fucking is she talking about? She isn’t good enough for me?” I ask an empty room. My mind runs in circles thinking of what could have happened. Why does she think she isn’t enough for me or that I don’t truly love her? Fucking hell, she is my Inside Noise, I would not just say that to get into panties. Shit. I run to my car, and drive over to the studio. The whole in my heart is getting bigger without her near me. I need her to breathe. I need my cell. I cannot believe she would do this without talking to me first. My heart is racing as I pull up outside Phoenix Records. Again I jump out of my truck and race ins
ide. I can hear music playing the closer I get to our studio. Who the fuck is still here? Then I hear female moans. I open the door to find Brax fucking some blond over the edge of the futon. His bare ass is staring straight at me. They don’t even notice me, both lost in the lustful act.

  “Dude, really. Over our fucking futon, we rest on that thing. You are so buying us a new one.” They both stop and turn their heads to face me but neither makes a move to move. They do not seem fazed that I walked in on them having sex. Brax straighten and helps the girls up. He bends and hand her his shirt, which she puts on while he pulls his jeans on.

  “Dude, I thought you had a date with Lipsy?”

  “I forgot my phone,” I say walking over to the sound board. I unlock it and see a few texts from Lipsy asking where I am. I check my call log and see that she called me also, the call lasted 42 seconds. I turn to my uncle and his flavor of the week. “Did either of you answer my phone?”

  “Umm well yeah, I answered it. I did not know it was yours, sorry.” Sorry, she is fucking sorry.

  “Do you have any idea what you have done? Fucking hell!” I scream and punch the wall beside me.

  “Hey, calm the fuck down, Reeve. Don’t yell at her like that it was a simple mistake.” My blood boils. He has no fucking clue what his whore has done.

  “Simple mistake. When my girlfriend called me to see where I was, because I was late for our date and your fucking whore answered the phone. Now my girlfriend has fled back to fucking Wales thinking that while she was waiting for me at the restaurant that I was here fucking another girl.” I am breathing heavily; I think I am going to pass out. My body feels light and achy all at the same time. I feel arms wrap around me and help me to the big chair.

  “Ok, now breathe, Reeve. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out slowly through your mouth. That’s it. Good.” I look at the woman, who is kneeling on the floor before me. She offers me a gentle smile.

  “Thank you.” Fuck, my head is spinning and my chest is heavy. “Do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar.” Brax chuckles next to us as she explains.

  “Yeah, I was one of the midwives that delivered Lucy and Rafe’s twins. I met Brax while on a break and we kept in touch.” I turn and look up at my uncle, and see him smiling a smile that I have never seen before; he is looking at this woman like Rafe looks at Juicy. Like Ryder looks at Letty.

  Well fuck me sideways. Braxton Preston is in love.

  “You found it?” I ask him and he gives me a gentle nod, the smile on his face widening. I smile and nod at him. “You got a name, Sweets?” I ask her. She stands and walks into Brax’s arms.

  “I’m Lydia. It is nice to meet you, Reeve. And I really am sorry about the phone call. I thought it was Brax’s. Reeve, I am not sure what she heard but we were kind of in the middle of.. umm.” A bright red blush covers her face. Both Brax and I laugh.

  “You were having a sexy session, I get it. I am sorry that I screamed at you and called you a whore. I was out of line, I just don’t know what to do right now,” I say, leaning my elbows on my knees and burying my head in my hands. “Fuck, she left me, Brax.” I can feel the tears running down my cheeks. I feel Brax wrap his arms around me and my tears roll heavier. Fuck, she has ruined me. She broke my heart but I still love and want her, I get why she ran. I need to explain to her what happened and that I did not throw her away.

  I stand, “I need to get her back; she needs to know everything. Thanks, you two.” Lydia smiles at me and so does Brax.

  “Johnny would be so proud of you, Reeve. So fucking proud.” I hug them both and drive home.

  It’s been three days since Leah left me and went back home to South Wales. I have tried contacting her via Facebook and KIK but got nothing back. It shows that she has read my messages but she does not reply. Juicy has talked to her but she has not asked about me. It hurts that she won’t let me explain. When Juicy tried to talk to her about me she cut the Skype chat short, claiming that she had to go to work at a bar in Cardiff. We are all currently sitting at the studio, going over songs to have ready for the summer festival that Inside Noise is signed up for. I would rather be trying to get my girl back but this event is important to us.

  We have been here all day; it’s just past ten at night. Nix and Brax are moving the knobs on the soundboard, balancing the sounds out. We all look up at the door when Mom walks in, her eyes are red and puffy, and we are at her side in seconds.

  “Oh boys, I really don’t know how to tell you this,” she stops and takes a sip of water, “Kurtis went to a house party tonight, and there was alcohol there. He got in the car with two friends and they think they driver was over the legal limit. Oh God, boys, they crashed the car. The driver was killed instantly and the back passenger was taken to hospital with minor injuries,” she takes a deep breath, “Kurtis was rushed to hospital but, he was...he...died on the way to the hospital.” She bends over, burying her head between her knees. We all freeze in place. Brax is at her side, rocking her back and forth.

  I stumble and fall against the wall, sliding down to the floor when my legs can no longer hold my body weight. Resting my elbows on my bent knees, I bury my head in my hands, gripping my hair. I can no longer stop the tears from flowing. My body shakes with emotion, first Lipsy leaving and now Kurtis dying. I shut my eyes tight and think back to the last time I saw him, he was laughing and goofing off with us boys. He was just fifteen years old, what a fucking waste of life. He had his whole life ahead of him, he was going to play soccer just like his hero Jake Slone. My chest tightens and more tears fall.

  I hear a crash and lift my head to see that Ryder has kicked over the small table, sending candles and glasses flying across the room. Rafe is sitting on the sofa, his body shaking with emotion. Brax is still wrapped around Mom and Nix is leaning his head against the wall, his shoulders bouncing as he cries for our lost cousin. I cannot imagine what Roger, Lisa, Oscar and Sophie are going through right now. Their world has just been ripped apart.

  I sit and watch my family fall apart, the room is eerily quiet apart from the sobs that are taking over each of our bodies. I climb to my feet and join Rafe on the sofa and Ryder takes up my other side. Us three Phoenix Boys will always be together, I cannot imagine a world without them in it. Life is too damn short to let things slip away. You have to take life by the balls and live each day as it may be the last.

  Little does Leah Adams know that I am coming for her, whether she likes it or not. She is good enough for me and I will never let her go again.

  She is my Inside Noise.

  Chapter 22

  Leah

  4 weeks later

  I’m sitting here in a park watching Peyton, Owen, and Daniel run around playing together. We are having a rare warm day today, even though it’s late August. We do not always get a nice summer, more often than not it’s wet and chilly. Peyton screams and I see the boys chasing her, I love the close bond that they have, just like Ryan and me. I would be lost without my big brother; he has been a huge help these past few weeks. I have been missing Reeve like crazy, dreaming of him every night. I have woken up so many nights gasping for air as he gives me an orgasm in my dream. He always smiles down at me and tells me that he loves me. But then in other dreams, I watch as he walks away from me, wraps his arms around another woman and he tells me that I was never going to be good enough for him. Those nights I wake up screaming and crying and drenched in sweat.

  “Boys, stopping chasing your sister,” I call to them. I remember the day Reeve and I took Demi to the park. How Reeve chased her around and made her laugh, helping her hang from the monkey bars. I smile at the memory but then the ache grows again. I miss him so bloody much, I wipe a stray tear away before the kids see. Miss Peyton is a noisy bugger. She could talk anyone's ears off. The kids run over to me and little Daniel jumps onto my lap.

  “Auntie Leah, can we go and get some sweets please?”

  “You got it, bud.” I stand, still holding Dan to my body
and we all walk to the local shop for sweets and chocolate. We walk through the door and Daniel wiggles in my arms to let him down, so I do. I watch as they all run off and pick what sweets the want. That’s the best thing about being the best auntie in the world; we get to fill them full of sugar and then take them back at the end of the day, love it. After spending a small fortune on sweet, crisps and chocolate, we all walk back to my little Ford KA. I strap each of them into their seats and we make our way home. We all sing Little Mix’s ‘Move’ but Peyton outshines us with her amazing voice. She loves Little Mix; can’t say I blame her, girl power and all.

  After pulling up outside my parents’ house, we all jump out of the car and run into the house, still singing at the top of our voices. My dad, William, is sitting at the kitchen table watching my mam, Caroline, make her famous beef stew with dumplings. My mam is well known for this old Welsh family recipe. My parents are the best ever, they are our support system with the firm parent way but also in the friend way. They listened when I came home, but never judged me. I told them everything that had happened, even though my dad said that I should have let Reeve explain himself, he never has pushed me to do it. I would be totally lost if I lost my parents. We do the whole family things together, we go out for meals and day outs. Even just spending time at the beach. They have always been there for Ryan and me, through all our screw ups, and they still loved us in the end. If I am half as good a parent to my kids as my parents are to me, then I will be a happy mam.