Down an English Lane

by Margaret Thornton

  ‘Yes, I do,’ replied Maisie thoughtfully. ‘Don’t worry, Olwen; I won’t play fast and loose with him… It’s just that I don’t feel ready yet for a serious relationship.’ And Mike Palmer, she could tell, might soon start to get too intense.

  ‘No, neither is our Michael, but he does take himself so seriously. You don’t mind me mentioning it, do you, Maisie?’

  ‘No, of course I don’t. I like Mike very much. I will go out with him again, but I’ll try to make him see that I just want to be friends, and nothing else.’

  Olwen nodded. ‘Yes, it’d be best if he could see it that way. He still has a long way to go. Another year and a half at university, and he hasn’t decided yet what he wants to do afterwards.’

  Mike Palmer, Olwen’s only son – only child, in fact – was in his second year at Leeds University. He had opted to live at home rather than go to a college in another part of the country, which would have meant staying in digs or a hall of residence. Maisie thought it was a mistake and that he needed to break away from the apron strings.

  When he came into the office later in the day she agreed to go with him to see the big movie, Samson and Delilah, which was showing at the Odeon. And then, perhaps, they could have a bite to eat later? he suggested tentatively. With his college scarf of maroon, green and white stripes slung round his neck and his short sandy hair standing on end, he looked younger than his twenty years. She was touched by the look of delight in his limpid brown eyes when she said yes to his plans. Oh dear, she thought; as his mother had warned her, she must be careful not to hurt him.

  Thoughts of Christine – and of Bruce – kept invading her mind for the rest of the day. She tried to remember what she had been told about their marriage. Rebecca Tremaine had been rather guarded about the whole affair, but Maisie had gathered that Christine’s mother, who they had all believed to be dead, had surfaced, searching for her daughter. Christine, it appeared, was not all she had seemed to be. Maisie had felt from the start that there was something odd about the girl, although she had to admit that her judgment had been biased by her feelings for Bruce. Her present fiancé seemed much more suited to her, Maisie mused.

  But what of Bruce? Where was he living now and what was he doing? Was he still in the RAF? Since she had left Middlebeck she had not bothered to enquire. She did not know his whereabouts, but, although she might try to deny it, it would not be true to say that she did not care.

  Chapter Twenty

  Maisie had arranged to meet Audrey on the first Saturday afternoon in March. They usually met in the arcade near to Schofield’s department store before going up to the café on the third floor to have a cup of tea or coffee and a toasted teacake. She was surprised, therefore, to receive a phone call from her friend at the office on Friday morning. She sounded anxious and in a hurry.

  ‘Maisie…’ she began breathlessly, ‘can you meet me this afternoon instead of tomorrow? Please, it’s very important. I’ve got something to tell you…’

  ‘Er…yes, I think so,’ replied Maisie. ‘Yes – of course I can.’ She was, of course, in charge of the office – the ‘boss’ – which she tended to forget. ‘Whatever’s the matter, Audrey? You don’t sound like yourself at all.’

  ‘I can’t tell you now. And I’ve got to go; I’m due at a lecture. I’ll see you later then… You will come, won’t you? Three o’clock at the usual place.’

  ‘Yes, don’t worry; I’ll be there,’ she promised.

  She arranged for Olwen and Barry to look after the office, saying that she would not be long; not much more than an hour, she hoped, although Audrey did sound to be in quite a state about something or other.

  When she met her friend, who was already waiting at the arcade, she was surprised to see that she was not wearing her college scarf. University and training college students, of whom there were many in and around the city of Leeds, were proud of their colleges’ colours and usually took every opportunity to display them. Audrey was dressed in a smart tweed coat – she was always smartly turned out – and she was carrying a small weekend bag as well as her shoulder bag.

  ‘Oh, Maisie… I’m so glad to see you.’ She flung her arms around her friend, and Maisie was dismayed to see the glint of a tear in the corner of one eye.

  ‘So am I,’ she replied, giving her a hug. ‘Come on, let’s get inside out of the cold.’

  They passed through the beauty department with its fragrant aroma of perfume and powder, and the haberdashery department, and went upstairs to the café. They managed to find an empty table for two, although the place was fast filling up with shoppers.

  ‘This is on me,’ said Maisie. ‘Coffee and a toasted teacake; OK?’

  ‘Yes…anything,’ replied Audrey, but she sounded quite disinterested.

  ‘All right; I’ll go and order, then you can tell me what’s the matter.’ Maisie went to the counter, then returned to find her friend staring down at her hands, agitatedly plucking at the loose skin around her nails; a habit she had had since childhood, especially in troubled times.

  ‘Now, what is it?’ asked Maisie, getting hold of her hands to stop the frenzied plucking. ‘You’ve got me worried… Are you going somewhere?’ She glanced at the travel bag at the side of Audrey’s chair.

  ‘To stay with you tonight…if you’ll have me,’ said Audrey, looking at her with frightened eyes. ‘I’ve told them at college that I’ve got a dental appointment this afternoon, and that afterwards I’m going home for the weekend. We’re allowed two weekends a term. But it’s not true, none of it…’ She stared at Maisie, her blue eyes brimming now with tears. ‘Maisie… I’m pregnant. I’m…I’m going to have a baby.’ Her shoulders began to shake, but she was crying silently and her voice, to Maisie’s relief, was the merest whisper. The next table was well within hearing distance, but the two middle-aged ladies seemed very busy with their own concerns and were chattering away twenty to the dozen.

  Maisie could not take it in at first. ‘You’re…pregnant?’ she whispered. ‘Oh, Audrey, are you sure?’ Her friend was so naive, or so Maisie believed, that she may well have not known, exactly, what led to pregnancy.

  ‘Of course I’m sure. I’ve missed two periods now,’ said Audrey. She took a deep breath, seeming to take more control of herself. ‘But I’m not going to have it. I’ve arranged to have an abortion…and I want you to help me.’

  ‘What?’ Maisie’s cry was much louder than she intended and the women on the nearby table looked across at her. ‘But…but you can’t!’ She leaned over the table. ‘You’re probably just late…but even if you are…having a baby…you can’t do that, what you’ve just said.’

  Audrey did not answer, but kept looking at her, quite impassively now. The waitress, arriving with the coffee and teacakes, halted any conversation for a few moments. Then Maisie said, ‘Come on, tell me about it…if you want to, of course. Who was it…and how did it happen?’

  Audrey gave a weak smile then. ‘In the usual way, I suppose. It doesn’t really matter who it is, because he will never know about it; but I suppose I’d better tell you… You remember I told you about that girl I know at college? Jennifer, the one that lives near Roundhay Park; she’s not a close friend, but we’re in the same division sometimes for lectures. Well, it’s her brother… But he’s engaged to be married… Oh, Maisie, it’s such a mess!’

  A mess? It was a catastrophe, thought Maisie. And that it should happen to Audrey, of all people. Maisie felt as though she was in a dream, or a nightmare to be more correct. Innocent little Audrey? She just couldn’t take it in. ‘Go on; tell me about it,’ she said.

  ‘There was a party at Jennifer’s home, just after New Year. They’re quite well off, they’ve got a big house near the park. She invited quite a few of us, and I went back a day early, you see, to go to this party, and I stayed the night there. And her brother and me…well we got quite friendly. And I suppose I had too much to drink, and his girlfriend wasn’t there, she’d got the flu and…well, it sort
of just happened. I don’t suppose he’s thought any more about it…’

  ‘But what about their parents? Where were they while all this was going on?’

  ‘Oh, they’d gone away for a long weekend. Jennifer and Joel – that’s his name – they seem to do pretty much as they like.’

  ‘And what about Jennifer? Have you told her about it?’

  ‘No, of course I haven’t. I’ve told you, she’s not a close friend. Nobody knows but you and…well, there’s another girl at college that I told, to find out about what I could do. I was desperate, you see, and she’s generally reckoned to be – well, you know – quite genned up about…about contraceptives and abortions and things.’

  Maisie blinked. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She sighed. ‘Eat your teacake,’ she said. ‘It’s getting cold…’

  Audrey cut her teacake in half and started to eat it and drink her coffee. They both munched in silence for a few moments, and Maisie was surprised to see that her friend appeared to be enjoying it. She guessed she had not had anything to eat since breakfast time. As for herself, she chewed automatically, not tasting what she was eating, her mind full of the awful thing Audrey had said she was going to do. Surely she couldn’t mean it? Finally she could contain herself no longer.

  ‘Audrey…’ she said, leaning towards her and whispering urgently. ‘You can’t do it. It would be very wrong, and dangerous, too.’

  ‘But I’ve no choice, have I?’ Audrey looked at her blankly.

  ‘Of course you have. Girls have got pregnant before. You’re not the first and you certainly won’t be the last.’

  ‘Not a daughter of the rector, though… I can’t tell them, Maisie. How can I? They’d be so ashamed of me. I’m telling you, it’s the only way.’

  Maisie shook her head despairingly. ‘You say…you’ve arranged it? What, exactly, have you done?’

  ‘It’s a place near Woodhouse Moor, a bit further on from where you live.’

  ‘What do you mean, “a place”? A back street abortionist?’

  ‘No, no; it’s not like that at all! It’s a nice house, a detached one with a garden, and it’s quite posh inside. And the woman who saw me was wearing a white coat and everything. She was very nice and helpful and she said they could take me tomorrow. Ten o’clock, that’s when I’ve got to be there. So I wondered if I could stay with you tonight? And then…would you come with me in the morning… please, Maisie?’

  Audrey’s eyes were filling up with tears again and her pleading expression tore at Maisie’s heartstrings. ‘But it’s wrong!’ she said. ‘You must know it is. It’s illegal, and they could be prosecuted for doing something like that. Is he a doctor…he or she or whoever?’

  ‘Yes, I think so. I think it’s the woman’s husband, the one who saw me. I’ve told you, she was very kind and friendly and she said I’d nothing to worry about.’

  No doubt she did, thought Maisie, feeling sick with fear and anxiety and wondering what on earth she could do to stop her friend from taking this disastrous step. ‘And…what would it cost? Did she say?’

  ‘Yes…ten pounds,’ said Audrey. ‘I’ve already paid. She said that was what clients usually did. So I can’t back out of it now, Maisie. I’ve got to go through with it, but I can’t go on my own. Please say you’ll come with me… You’re my best friend, aren’t you? I couldn’t possibly ask anybody else.’

  Ten pounds… That was more than a fortnight’s wages to Maisie, and Audrey was only a student. But she supposed that Patience and Luke did not leave her short of money. They would be horrified, though, if they knew what it was being used for. She shook her head again. ‘It’s a lot of money,’ she said, ‘but it’s not the money that’s important, is it? It’s you that matters. Oh, come on, Audrey; just think sensibly about it. It’s not the end of the world. Luke and Patience are not ogres. They’re understanding people and…’

  ‘No, no, no!’ cried Audrey. ‘I can’t possibly tell them.’ Luckily the two women at the next table had gone and there was something of a lull in the restaurant. ‘This time tomorrow it will all be over. I keep telling myself that, but I can’t go through with it on my own. Please, Maisie…’ She looked at her so imploringly that Maisie felt herself beginning to relent, but only a little.

  ‘Well… I’ll see,’ she said. ‘But you can certainly stay with me tonight.’ She hoped that by the next morning she might have persuaded her friend to change her mind. She smiled sympathetically at her. ‘I do understand, honestly, how you feel. And it’s such hard luck, isn’t it, to get caught the first time? But it seems to happen like that with a lot of girls.’

  Audrey hung her head. She was silent for a moment. Then, ‘It wasn’t the first time,’ she said, so quietly that Maisie could scarcely hear her.

  ‘What did you say?’ she asked. ‘For a moment I thought you said it wasn’t the first time…’

  Audrey nodded. ‘Yes, that’s what I said…’ She looked up at her friend. ‘I can’t lie to you, Maisie. It wasn’t the first time I’d…done that. You remember when I went out with Brian? We’d been going out together for a long time and…well, you know how it is, don’t you? You must do…’

  Maisie looked at her in horror. ‘You what? Indeed I don’t know how it is! Do you mean to say that you and Brian Milner, that you…?’

  ‘Yes, we did,’ said Audrey, in quite a matter-of-fact voice. ‘Oh, come on, Maisie. Don’t pretend to me that you’re all that innocent. You went out with Ted Nixon, and he was years older than you, and I know he was dead keen on you…’

  ‘Yes, maybe he was, but we never did…that!’

  Audrey frowned, looking at her in some surprise. ‘And you told me you went out with that coach driver, and he was married…’

  ‘Yes, and that was when I told him, No, ta very much. I don’t go out with married men…’

  ‘And there was that fellow who came to work in your office in York. You went out with him for quite a while; I remember you telling me that you had quite a fling.’

  ‘Yes, Colin… But when I said we’d had a fling I only meant that he used to take me to pubs and nightclubs and places like that. Not that we’d…’ She shook her head. ‘I was an innocent little girl from the country when I first went to live in York, you know. I’d never set foot inside a pub – I wasn’t old enough anyway – and doing that sort of thing was a real eye-opener to me. But I have never done…that, not with Ted or Colin or anyone.’

  ‘You mean to say that you’re still…a virgin?’

  ‘Good God, yes!’ exclaimed Maisie, forgetting herself for a moment. ‘I mean…yes, of course I am. And I will be until I meet the person that I know is right for me. And even then, we’ve always been told that we should wait until after we’re married, haven’t we?’

  ‘You’re shocked at me, aren’t you?’ said Audrey, looking soulfully at her friend. ‘Honestly, Maisie, I really thought… You’re so grown-up in your ways. You were always so much more mature than me… I’m sorry if I’ve shocked you.’

  ‘No… I’m not really shocked,’ she replied. ‘Just surprised, that’s all.’ But she was shocked; she had found herself deeply shocked by Audrey’s revelations. This was the girl she had befriended and taken care of when they had been sent to Middlebeck as evacuees; the girl who had always seemed so shy and insecure, and so prim and proper too, at times. She remembered how she had raised her eyebrows at Maisie’s dress with the bare shoulders. And above all, Audrey was the daughter of the rector…

  ‘I’m surprised at Brian Milner,’ she said. She decided to give her friend the benefit of the doubt and to believe that Brian had led her on. ‘I always thought you were just good friends; well, possibly a little bit more than that, but you decided to end it, didn’t you, when he went away to university?’

  ‘It was getting too intense,’ replied Audrey. ‘I was only sixteen, and I knew I shouldn’t have…you know. But I really liked Brian a lot. And since then there’s been nobody, honestly, until I got involv
ed with Joel.’

  ‘It’s a wonder you didn’t get caught before,’ observed Maisie, a little self-righteously, because she couldn’t help how she was feeling. ‘With Brian…’

  ‘Oh no, he was careful,’ said Audrey. ‘He took precautions…you know.’

  Maisie nodded. She didn’t know, but she guessed what Audrey meant. She was being made, regrettably, to change her view of her friend, and she didn’t like it. But Audrey, come what may, was still her best friend and she knew that she had to help her now. But she prayed, how she prayed deep inside her, that she would change her mind about what she intended to do tomorrow.

  ‘We’ll go when you’re ready,’ she said. ‘I promised I wouldn’t be too long away from the office. It sometimes gets quite busy on a Friday afternoon, and I’m supposed to be in charge.’

  ‘Yes, I’m ready,’ said Audrey. ‘What shall I do? Shall I meet you when you’ve finished for the day? I can have a look round the shops, not that I feel much like shopping at the moment.’

  ‘No,’ said Maisie. ‘I’ll give you the key, then you can get the tram back to my place and make yourself at home. I’ll be back as soon as I can; OK?’

  ‘Yes, thank you… You’re being very kind to me,’ Audrey said as they made their way down to the ground floor. ‘What about tomorrow? Will you be able to take the time off?’ She looked pleadingly at Maisie once again. ‘I do need you to be with me…’

  ‘Mmm…yes,’ she replied. ‘We close at twelve o’clock on Saturdays, so I’m sure Olwen and Barry can manage on their own for half a day. Don’t worry; I’ll be there for you, Audrey…’ Her friend would need her to be there to give her moral support, whatever might happen.

  Olwen and Barry were very willing to run the office on their own for the three hours on Saturday morning. Barry, as the other full-time member of staff, had a key of his own and Maisie knew he would feel quite important being left in charge. He was shaping up well in all aspects of the work, but this would be the first time he had opened up the shop. She explained to them that her friend was quite poorly and was relying on her, Maisie, to go with her for an urgent doctor’s appointment. She did not go into details and they did not enquire.