The Mistress Memoirs

by Jillian Hunter

  She drew her fingers down his chest to the tip of his turgid erection. His penis thickened, pulsing with the blood her featherlight touch sent rushing through his body. The temptress in the garden. “It would seem,” he conceded, “that you are not without a natural skill.”

  “Have I overstepped my bounds, sir?”

  “I’m afraid you have,” he said in a hoarse voice.

  “There’s no going back, is there?”

  He shook his head.

  He resumed stroking her breasts, finally pinching in turns the delicate tips until she moaned. Her hand fell away from the knob of his cock, and he gritted his teeth, tempted to beg her not to stop.

  “Colin,” she murmured.

  He slid down the bed. “Hmmm?”

  “I was wrong.”

  He pushed her knees apart and inhaled sharply as he spread open the folds of pink flesh. Her cleft glistened with the creamy fluid that would make his penetration easier. Her vulnerability was unveiled for his taking. He battled to subdue the primal impatience that urged him to sate his needs in her. Another wave of blood surged through his veins, into his head, his loins, until he felt like a cauldron. He knew she had said something. He looked up briefly, his gaze unfocused. “What did you say?”

  “I was wrong. I am going to break.”

  He didn’t answer. He was lost to reason, more intent on licking and suckling the bud of her sex than to pretend he gave a damn about anything except taking her to the edge. She was close, wet with excitement, under his control for the moment.

  But he wouldn’t last. He’d wagered either too much on the benefit of his experience or too little on the impact of her innocence on his libido. It seemed like ages before he felt her belly contract, her body suspended on the cusp of climax. Black heat burned through what remained of his restraint.

  Forgive me.

  I need you.

  I need you tonight and tomorrow and as far into the future as I can see.

  He raised himself up and guided the head of his penis to her cleft. He pressed inside until he felt the barrier of her maidenhead. She gave a ragged gasp, her hips rising in either encouragement or the aftermath of her orgasm, it didn’t matter. His body could not change course.

  “Now,” he said. “Now.”

  Wet. Tight. His to possess. He withdrew slowly and thrust deep, her helpless cries intensifying his pleasure. She writhed her hips, clearly seeking a reprieve from the slow forceful strokes he couldn’t control. “Lock your legs around my ass,” he whispered through the harsh breaths he drew into his throat. “Anchor yourself to me or we will end up on the floor.”

  “It . . . hurts.”

  “I’m sorry. It won’t always feel like this.” He lowered his head to kiss her, his mouth muting her broken sigh as he embedded his cock inside her with a desperation he had never known before.

  “Colin—”

  “I need more. I need you.” He wanted to fill her. The muscles of his back strained. He set his teeth, gripped by a tension so intense he thought his heart had stopped. But his body did not stop until at last he bucked his hips and impaled her in a powerful thrust of possession. Only then did he close his eyes and come inside her, lost in sensation and satisfaction, lost to the woman he had finally made his own.

  Chapter 31

  She woke up hours later to hear Colin asking if she would be all right. She managed to answer, “Mmm,” before he said, “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Why shouldn’t I be? I’m—” She forced through a languorous fog to open her eyes. He was standing at her bedside, tucking his long shirt into his trousers. Except for the stubble that outlined his cheeks, he looked nothing like a man who’d spent the night indulging his sexual appetite. Or satisfying hers. But beneath the dark possession in his eyes burned a tenderness that allayed her fear. He was hers now, she thought.

  “It’s still dark,” she whispered, rising up on the pillow before she realized that she was lying nude in her bed.

  He bent over her, his gaze traveling from her face to the breast that the bedsheet didn’t quite cover. She reached down without thinking, but Colin caught her hand. “You are never to hide yourself from me again. I will take it as a sign of mistrust if you do.”

  He kissed her breast, then the back of her hand, and before he straightened he kissed her softly on the mouth. “I know you’ll never forget what he did to you. But do you think I can make the memories less painful?”

  “I think you could make me forget my own name.”

  “Or take a new one,” he said with a pensive look that made her think she had missed something in their conversation. He reached back for the vest he had slung across the chair.

  “What are you trying to say?” she whispered, slowly aware that her body felt tender, sweetly bruised from the intimacies they had shared.

  “The head groom and the governess are getting married. I don’t have time to make a proper proposal.”

  “Well, you had enough time to be improper when it suited you.”

  “Yes,” he agreed wryly. “But improper acts come easily to me. Marriage proposals don’t.” He pulled a clean handkerchief from his vest pocket. “Let me wipe off the evidence of our lovemaking. There are bloodstains on the bed that you might not wish the maids to see. I would have done this sooner, but I decided you needed to rest.”

  She blushed fiercely, biding her time before she could comment on his knowledge of after-coital affairs. “Where are you going now?” she murmured, closing her eyes in a swelter of emotions as he erased most of the dampness from her inner thighs.

  “Down to the library to explore the hidden room.”

  Her eyes opened slowly once more. “Let me get dressed. I’ll help.”

  He frowned. “If we are caught, we’ll be in the same predicament as we were last night. Not that it will greatly matter now that we are engaged.”

  “Maybe not to you, but I’ll be teased from now until the wedding.” The words felt so sweet on her tongue, she was tempted to repeat them.

  “If I don’t show up before breakfast, you might come to the library to make sure I haven’t trapped myself inside the wall. In the meantime, I’d rather you stay here.”

  “But I think I could help you, and if we are discovered, at least we shall be fully clothed and can claim that we arose early to tidy up downstairs.”

  “Except that I’m not a housemaid, and no one will believe us for a minute.” He regarded her with a reflective smile. “I have not known pleasure like last night’s. I hope you feel the same.”

  “I feel ravished,” she said simply.

  “I feel immensely relieved.”

  And then he left through the door to the library stairwell.

  Pleasure? It was more than that. Yes, she had felt passion, relief, a release from the bondage of her past. He had breached her secrets, and it had been a beautiful liberation, all the more powerful because it came from a part of her that she had learned to associate with shame.

  She huddled in bed, images of their indecency flooding her mind. She must have been overcome by the enormity of what they had done, because she had a sense she hadn’t completely grasped their last conversation. He had asked, or rather told her, that they were engaged. How would she explain this to Georgette, the children? When would the marriage take place? And where? Did it change his plans?

  For now she knew only that she was a fallen woman who had fallen in love with the one man she should have resisted. Yet she could not pretend regret. She couldn’t deny how right it felt.

  * * *

  Colin frowned as he discovered a few faded papers wedged between the drawers of Mason’s desk. Hay must not have seen them. From what Colin could determine in the light of his dying candle, the documents were old accountings of the trading firm’s business, indicating healthy profits.

  The rustle of silk outside the hidden recess jarred his concentration. He turned, hoping that Kate had disobeyed him. It would take considerable willpower to keep his han
ds off her now that they were to be man and wife. He grinned. Or groom and governess.

  He blinked. The figure peering in on him was a female, but it wasn’t Kate; it was Georgette—or Aphrodite, looking a little worse for wear after a night of drinking, gambling at cards, and entertaining company. The cushion she brandished over his head did not invoke the impression of the goddess of love, her disheveled charms notwithstanding.

  “What the devil?” he said, reaching up to wrest the useless weapon from her hand. “You could have knocked over the candle, woman.”

  “I was about to knock off your block!” she explained. “What are you doing? What is this place?”

  “One of Mason’s secret passages. Haven’t you ever seen him use it?”

  “He and I only came in here for an occasional drink.”

  “Which could have been poisoned.”

  “Don’t try to mislead me.” She examined him in suspicion. “Where did you vanish to after the performance? You weren’t in here or we’d have heard you. Kate went to bed, and you—you—you didn’t go after her?”

  “Everything will work out,” he said, gathering up the few documents before he extinguished his sputtering candle and stepped into the library. She looked upset enough to entomb him in the wall. He threw the cushion back onto the sofa.

  “You immoral man. You disgraced my governess while I sat in the room below, innocently toasting her demise with champagne. You didn’t even wait a day after I betrayed her.”

  “I did not disgrace your governess,” he said in irritation, turning to the bookshelf to close the panel. “I seduced the woman who will become my wife.”

  “What?” She turned bone white and dropped onto the couch where she had entertained her friends last night while the aforementioned seduction and marriage proposal had taken place.

  “How dare you?” she sputtered.

  “I explained my feelings to you about her. I thought you understood.”

  “You didn’t explain that you intended to take her away from me.”

  He looked up at the ceiling, wondering if he’d committed too many sins to ask for divine intervention. He would promise to stop, but that would be a lie. It seemed pointless to add another transgression to the list that had likely begun the day he took his first step.

  “Georgette, it has been a long night for all of us. I haven’t discussed any details with Kate yet. Perhaps we shall all live close to one another. There is no reason you won’t be allowed to see each other.”

  She gazed at him in mounting anger. “And what about Brian? He loves Kate. So do the other two children. What do you think he’ll do if he loses her?”

  “I intend—”

  “He’ll run away again, and he won’t come back. He’s so like you. He wants adventure. You ran away, too. It’s in the blood.”

  “He needs a stable home and a university education.”

  “Well, he certainly won’t get either from you.”

  “Yes, he will. And I would never keep you from your son. It would be unnatural. If Brian is part of my family, then so are you as his mother. He may stay with you whenever he likes.”

  “What will happen to me?” she asked, her eyes dark with tears.

  “I will make provisions for you and the children, no matter what.”

  “What about Nan? You can’t put her out in the gutter.”

  “I’ll take care of Nan, too,” he promised.

  “And Bledridge?”

  He hesitated. “Yes. Why not?”

  “Have you considered Griswold? The forgetful old dear is fading from this world. He can’t possibly live, let alone work, in another household. It would be morally wrong to discard him when I haven’t paid his wages in ages.”

  Good night. The peaceful future he had envisioned was to be populated by a cast of players that rivaled the characters in one of Kate’s amateur theatricals. “Fine. Everyone is included.”

  “How?” she demanded.

  Colin half wished he could disappear back into the wall. Even then she would probably find a way to pursue her unmerciful line of questioning. “How what, my dear?”

  “Don’t ‘my dear’ me, you ruthless scoundrel.” She stood, her goddesslike bosom quivering with injustice. “How are you going to support me? It will take time for my memoirs to be published. I shall have no reliable income until then, and I am accustomed to certain comforts.”

  He paused. Perhaps he should have watched the end of last night’s play. Had Paris survived in Kate’s world or had the wretch received his due? “Calm yourself. If necessary we will have to live under the same roof.”

  She gasped as if a spear had struck her in the heart. “Are you asking me to depend on your charity, to be shunted into a back parlor as if I were your grandmother?”

  “God forbid.”

  The door to the hall swung open. Colin and Georgette turned like a pair of guilty siblings arguing over who deserved the last treat on the table.

  “I can hear the both of you from my room,” Kate said with a decorum that she hadn’t shown a few hours ago. In contrast to her undignified self, now she looked so fresh and wholesome that Colin realized he needed a bath and shave before he could present himself to the house again, even as a stable groom.

  “She knows,” he said quietly.

  “I can tell.”

  Kate walked up to Georgette and crossed her arms. “You broke your promise to me.”

  Georgette glanced at Colin. “He made me do it.”

  “I didn’t make you,” he said. “I asked.”

  “It amounts to the same thing,” Kate said, suddenly on Georgette’s side. “You have a talent for getting your way.”

  Colin stared at both women in vexation. “Why do I deserve all the fault? Some of it, I accept. But—”

  Georgette cut him off to speak with Kate. “Please believe me. I did it because I thought it was best for you.”

  “It’s fine, madam. It has turned out well.”

  “I hope my teachings helped you a little last night.”

  “They did, indeed,” she replied, and she gave Colin a personal smile that could have started another epic battle for him to fight.

  “Well, then,” Georgette said, looking from Colin to her companion. “In that case, there is nothing left for me to do but offer my congratulations. I’m sorry we drank all the champagne after the party and have none on hand to toast your engagement.”

  * * *

  Kate brought the children outside to the paddock after their morning lessons. She wasn’t quite sure how to explain her engagement to them, or whether they needed to know how it had come about. But by the grins they kept exchanging she decided they understood more than was necessary for the moment. Perhaps Colin or Georgette had let the secret slip. Neither of them had a great regard for discretion. As far as she knew, however, they still had not told Brian the truth about his relationship to Colin.

  She sighed in pleasure as Colin backed up his horse to the fence, offering her his hand. “Come inside the gate. Don’t ask questions. Children, stay outside. We’re about to give you a demonstration.”

  “Of what?” Kate whispered, as dubious of the mischief in his eyes as she was drawn to it.

  “This is The Abduction of a Governess. You inspired me last night in more ways than one.”

  “Have you written a play in my honor?”

  “Some men prefer to express their sentiments in physical action. Reach up your hand,” he said with a supercilious flick of his gloved fingers.

  Kate shook her head. “For what—? I’m not dressed for riding. I’m not good with horses.”

  He shook his head in disagreement. “You were very good with me last night.”

  She was at a temporary loss for words. When she recovered her voice, it emerged with her recognizable authority. “I am not getting up on that horse.”

  Clearly a man who did not recognize authority, he said, “Speak up, would you?”

  “Bless my boots, you cannot hav
e your way all the time.”

  He leaned down and without ceremony lifted her in front of him onto the saddle. She settled uncomfortably between his thighs while her own tender muscles tightened in opposition.

  “This is not acceptable, Colin. Some acts are to be carried out only behind closed doors.”

  “Voice is everything to a horse, Kate. Why don’t you enjoy yourself? You are being abducted.” His mouth grazed her ear. “There isn’t much you can do about it.”

  His arm encircled her midsection. The horse eased into a canter toward the meadow, the steady movement lodging her backside in Colin’s lap. His deep laughter soon relaxed her mood, and yet her entire body tensed, preparing for what, she wasn’t sure. “What am I going to tell the children?”

  “I have taken care of that. I explained that I’m abducting you.”

  The horse surged with her exclamation. “You did what?”

  * * *

  She felt a moment of unfettered freedom, of hope, of chains broken. She should have known better than to believe him. She wasn’t a young girl who gave her heart away at the first promise. She was also not a woman to be thrown across a horse in abandon and appreciate it. “You colossal fool. You—” She was falling. She didn’t trust the horse, and the horse did not trust her. She was certain it wanted to throw her, despite Colin’s bone-crushing hold.

  “I’m falling!”

  “Sit straight. Lift up your rump.”

  “I’m losing my—” She was sliding off the saddle, unbalanced, gripping the pommel for dear life, when a blast exploded across the glade. Kate pulled herself upright and noticed two men crouching in the tall meadow grass. One sprang up, a gun in hand. She felt Colin’s body tighten in reaction for only an instant.

  Another shot rang out, and the horse balked. Kate pitched forward only to fall back against Colin’s chest. A moment later his entire weight pressed her down against his thigh. Had he been shot? He had forced her so far to the side that all she could see were the horse’s hooves churning through the meadow grass. She angled her head to look up his at his face.