Forever Falling

by Paige Randall

  The bike tracks lead directly to a cabin and inside they find two backpacks, two sleeping bags, some canned food and water bottles against the wall. The girls are nowhere in sight.

  Grace runs up the path looking frantic and breathless. “Are they here?”

  “Looks like they aren’t far off.” Callum points to their supplies.

  “Thank god.” Grace sits down hard on the wooden floor. She crosses her legs and Victoria sits beside her.

  Grace smiles, despite her stress. “We have a lot to talk about Victoria. We’ll be alright though. Our girls will be fine. You know that, don’t you?”

  Grace looks hard into Victoria’s eyes asking for assurances that she doesn’t begin to understand. “I think so,” is the best Victoria can offer. “Where’s Christopher?” she asks.

  “He’s with Jack. I wanted to come alone. I think this is a mom thing, don’t you? Let’s get our girls and then talk, just you and me.” Grace offers. “We have to talk so we can figure out how to work this through.”

  “Callum, too,” Victoria counters. “He is part of this.”

  “What do you know, Grace, about the girls?” Callum asks.

  Grace hands him an envelope. Inside are photos, stacked one after another. Baby pictures, school pictures, in front of a Christmas tree, a tiny Marina on skis, baby Marina dressed as a fat orange pumpkin then an M&M. Older Marina dressed as Harry Potter and finally the Marina he knows with a long braid in her hair and a quiver. Marina was Katniss Everdeen for Halloween just this past fall.

  “I found these on Jessie’s desk. They were kept in a lockbox in Christopher’s office. She picked the lock. Christopher and I have always known about Marina.”

  Before further questions can be asked and answered, they hear the girls coming up the path singing a song about monsters by Eminem and Rhianna. Callum picks up the girls’ meager possessions while Grace and Victoria walk the path to meet the girls. Callum feels a little guilty that he started all of this. He pulls out his phone and looks at a picture of Anna that he uses as her contact id. She is smiling with wild hair on the beach after Easter dinner. Looking at Anna, he is sure he did the right thing, no matter how this turns out.

  Victoria tries to take her daughter into her arms, but Marina shrugs her off and walks to Callum. Victoria stands helpless with both arms limp at her sides. Jessie stays close to Marina, avoiding her mother. It is clear the planned conversation is not going to happen. The girls look furious.

  Grace takes Jessie’s hand and tries to lead her out of the camp. “Let’s go,” she says. “We can talk at home with your father.”

  “No,” Jessie screams. “He is a liar. So are you. You are both liars.”

  “Why did you tell Jessie before we could talk it through with your mother,” Callum asks Marina.

  “I didn’t tell her Callum. She told me,” Marina says.

  “Okay ladies, why don’t we sit down and take a breath. Let’s talk this through,” he says and points to a wooden picnic table under a tree. “Come on, take a seat.” Marina reluctantly sits down next to Callum. Jessie takes her big sister’s lead and sits down too. Victoria stands. “Let’s get a few things out in the open,” he starts, but Victoria interrupts.

  “Marina. I’m sorry this is the first you are hearing about this from me. I haven’t been honest with you and I handled things badly. I let my own hurt and anger be more important than, well, more important than anything. Jessie’s Dad and I dated when I was young. We broke up and then I found out I was pregnant. He was very gallant and wanted to take care of us, but it just didn’t work out.” Victoria falters and Grace steps in.

  “Then he and I started dating pretty quickly,” Grace adds.

  “I wanted you all to myself and I left,” Victoria says creating a fiction that she ran away as the jilted lover.

  Marina stares at her and takes everything in. She looks like she has a thousand questions, but she doesn’t ask one. She lets everything her mother says be true, just like Callum told her to.

  “Will you forgive me, Marina?” Victoria nearly begs.

  “I owe you an apology, Victoria. Everything happened so fast back then. I wasn’t supportive of you at all. Will you forgive me?” Grace fills in details that aren’t true. Victoria lets her.

  Tears stream down Victoria’s face and Grace embraces her. Victoria cries silently into Grace’s shoulder. To the girls they are tears of forgiveness. Callum knows they are tears of defeat.

  “Daddy, why?” Victoria asks him. Marina is asleep in her own bed. Her day as a runaway is over. Callum is cleaning the mess from Victoria’s teenage room, ransacked by Marina as she searched for proof of her parentage.

  George tells his daughter about the dark days after she left Asheville. How George thought he would kill Christopher. In three months, George lost his wife, his daughter and his future grandbaby. Christopher was responsible for two-thirds of that loss. George thought about telling Christopher’s parents, but he wasn’t a child. He was a man. He followed Christopher at night, stalked him during the day. He wanted to understand this man who destroyed his family and who would be the father of his grandchild. He learned that Christopher was a Jekyll and Hyde. He had a sunny smile until the drinking started. George watched him get thrown out of bar after bar downtown. He was a common drunk. Not too long after Marina was born, Victoria started emailing and sending him photos.

  “It was Rosalie who convinced me to help him,” George says.

  “I don’t understand,” Victoria asks, because she really does want to.

  “He is a drunk, Victoria. Maybe something happened to him, I don’t know and I don’t really care either. I had two choices, to kill him or to help him be a better man in case you ever came back.”

  George tells the story of how he scraped Christopher up off the sidewalk one night and brought him home. The next morning, they had a pretty severe dialogue, to say the least. They talked about forced sex, pregnancy, destroyed lives and making changes. Christopher sobered up and got into AA. By then, Christopher was with Grace and things weren’t going well.

  “He agreed to stay away from you if I would keep tabs on Marina and share photos. He understood that he forfeited any rights he had to be a part of her life, but he still cared. He told Grace about Marina. In the early days, he and Grace had a lot of problems. She would have left him, but he turned things around when he sobered up. He’s been dry ever since.”

  “Daddy, are you really dying?” Victoria asks hopefully. “Or was that another lie to get me here?”

  “I wish it was darling. I wish it was.” George pats her cheek like he did when she was a little girl.

  “I wish I came back sooner. I wish we talked. I wish so many things were different,” she says.

  “You did everything right Victoria and I did everything wrong. I need you to know that. All the regret is mine. I should have come to Utah and pounded on your door. I should have been a better father to you and a grandfather to Marina. If your mother had been here, I would have known…”

  She stops him with a finger to his lips. “I know Dad. Everything would have been different. I love you so much Daddy.”

  She falls into his arms and they cry together, just a little, for their lost years and mistakes.

  “Will you forgive me?” he asks.

  “I do. And you forgive me?”

  “I won’t even answer the question,” he says shaking his head. “There is nothing for you to ever apologize for Victoria. Nothing. Understood?” She nods and kisses his cheek.

  Victoria decides to help Callum clean up her room. When she is halfway up the stairs, there is a quiet knock at the door. Callum sticks his head around the corner. “Is that the door, this late?”

  She turns on the outside light. Christopher is leaning against the railing, hands in pockets. “It’s Christopher,” she whispers to Callum.

  He descends the steps quickly before she opens the door.

  “Victoria,” Christopher says.

/>   She faces him wordlessly.

  “Can we talk?” he asks.

  She steps out onto the porch with Callum at her side. He is not letting her face this alone.

  “Talk,” Callum says.

  Christopher stands to face Victoria and looks directly into her eyes. She doesn’t flinch or step back. She holds her ground, holds his eyes with her own, and remembers how he forced himself into her, tearing her open.

  “I raped you,” he says. His eyes fill. “I raped you and I am so sorry. I don’t mean it to be an excuse, but I was drinking heavily. Your Dad saved my life. I am damn lucky he didn’t kill me because he could have. He certainly wanted to, but he wanted me to be better for you and for Marina. I am better, Victoria. I haven’t had a drink in twelve years. I am a good husband and a good Dad. I am begging you for a chance.”

  For the first time she notices his chin. It is Marina’s chin. This is Marina’s father.

  “For the sake of my daughter, Christopher, I forgive you,” Victoria says and to show herself she means it, she offers him her hand. He take her hand in both of his own hands. She forces herself not to cringe at his touch. After a moment, she goes back to the door. “Will you all come for Sunday dinner? I think Marina would like to meet…” she stalls.

  “Her brother?” Christopher says. “His name is Jack.”

  “Marina would like to meet Jack,” Victoria repeats.

  “We’d like that. Thank you Victoria,” he says. “I am grateful for this chance.”

  “One last thing,” Callum says. “It is just that. Victoria is giving you a chance, an opportunity to be everything a little girl could dream of. I want your word, as a gentleman. If you fall off the wagon. If you even slip up. You are gone. We are all letting this go forward under the assumption that the drinking turned you into a monster. Assuming that is the case, praying that is the case, you can never falter. Ever. Understood?” Callum offers his hand to shake on that agreement.

  Christopher shakes his hand but has one more request. “Can you ask Randy and Jenna to join us? He is sort of family and I can’t have secrets from him.”

  “Of course. And Christopher, the children should never know anything more than we had a bad break up. They don’t ever need to know the rest,” Victoria says before she goes into the house.

  Ten

  The Sunday dinner cook out turns into weekly dinners together as a family. Jessie spends the night most weekends at Marina’s house. Grace tells Jessie that George is ill and Marina needs all of the time she can with him, so the girls stay only at Victoria’s house. Grace understands Victoria’s reluctance. When Grace started dating Christopher he was like Prince Charming until he drank. Then he was mean and rough. When Grace learned of the child with Victoria, she guessed that Victoria had some experience with that darker side of him. By then, he was sober and Grace was in love with him.

  One morning in late May, as Grace unlocks the door to her gallery, she can see Callum pulling the brown paper from his glass. She crosses the street to visit her gorgeous British neighbor, opening the door with a verbal, “knock, knock.”

  “Hi Grace,” he says, folding the paper into small squares to recycle. He is very tidy whether it is paper, food or clothing.

  “This is really something, Callum! Is it ready for students?” she asks.

  “The building is. I’m not sure I am though,” he admits.

  “Are you advertising?” she asks, assuming his hesitance is business related.

  “Not really. I do have some students though. I have an arrangement with a local organization that helps individuals with disabilities find employment. We are developing a program to provide job training for work in kitchens. It will be a ten-week course and restaurants are already committing to hire graduates from our program. I’ll also offer classes to kids and teenagers who aren’t likely to go on to college.”

  Grace giggles into her hand.

  “What? Am I funny?” Callum asks bewildered.

  “No, of course not. Callum, I had the wrong idea entirely. I thought you were going to teach bored housewives. You would have a booming business, don’t get me wrong, but this isn’t what I expected from you at all.”

  “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

  “What does Victoria think?”

  Now it is Callum’s turn to laugh. “She thinks nothing. We actually haven’t discussed it at all.”

  “I don’t understand,” she says.

  “Let me put it this way. I am head over heels in love with Victoria and she is very busy keeping me at arm’s length. She doesn’t think I’m serious about all this.” He waves his arms around his cooking school.

  “You look very serious to me,” Grace says. “She’s afraid Callum. She’s been on her own for so long. With everything that has been happening and George slowing down, she has a lot on her plate.”

  That night George calls Callum into his room. He shows Callum where his papers are. Everything is in order. “I named you the executor of my estate.”

  “Are you joking George? I’m dyslexic. I can hardly even read these papers,” he says in a panic.

  “There are lawyers for all that. You just have to oversee it. It takes the burden off Victoria. I made my own funeral arrangements. I left a substantial amount to Rosalie. I don’t want there to be any surprises about that. She should never have to work again. The rest is Victoria’s. Except one thing. The property downtown, Callum. I left my half to you.”

  “That’s incredibly generous George, but not necessary.” Callum is awestruck.

  “Callum, I have no illusions about what you have done for my family. My debt to you is far more than that building.”

  Callum starts to deny it, but he doesn’t. They both know what these last months have meant to both of them and it doesn’t need to be said aloud. “Understood George.” Callum looks at the stack of papers in his hand. “Is this happening now George?” Callum asks with a lump in his throat.

  “Not yet. Let’s throw Marina a hell of a birthday party this weekend.”

  “We are all set for that. Everyone is coming.” Callum confirms.

  “After that, we’ll see.”

  Marina’s birthday is officially the best day of her life so far. There has never been a June 3rd like this before. She spends the day with Christopher, Grace, Jessie and Jack. They take her on a hot air balloon ride while Callum and Victoria prepare for the party. Callum takes the day off from cooking and hires a caterer. He was picky and sampled many caterers in town before selecting Luella’s Bar-B-Que. He wants to give his full attention to this day.

  Victoria decorates the yard and covers tables with white clothes and blue flowers. There are balloons everywhere. When the time comes they are joined by new friends and old friends and even a few PTA moms. Victoria got Jessie’s help inviting all of Marina’s friends from school. Randy and his barber partner bring Jenna. Rosalie sits beside George as he oversees the festivities. Everyone comes and Marina is obviously overjoyed.

  “Callum. Somehow I think all of this is because of you,” Victoria whispers in his ear, circling her arms around his waist.

  “Not possible Victoria. You did this. You did all of it,” he pulls her into his arms. They watch Marina, smiling ear to ear, pulled to the karaoke microphone by her friends.

  “Speech, speech,” they chant.

  Reluctantly, but not very reluctantly, Marina takes the offered microphone. “Really? I have to make a speech? Okay.” She hesitates for just a moment. “I’d like to thank everyone for coming. I’d like to thank Luella’s for the great food.” The caterer walks over and hands Marina a ten dollar bill, everyone laughs.

  “Thanks to Christopher and Grace for the balloon ride today. That was amazing. Thanks Dad, she smiles and salutes Christopher.” She is trying out the Dad. Again everyone laughs. There are few secrets in this crowd.

  “I want to thank my Granddad.” Victoria and Callum gasp quietly. This is the first time she has called him anything but George. “Grandp
a, I love you so much. Thanks for this great party.” George blows a kiss to his granddaughter. Victoria thinks she’s never him as happy.

  “And Callum. And my Mom…” she drops the microphone and runs into their arms. She can’t say it out loud. It is too much, but they know. There are lots of aawwws from the crowd and finally applause. After she hugs them both, she goes to George and hugs him hard.

  Victoria watches her daughter, happy and secure, with all of these loved ones surrounding her. It is everything a mother could want for her daughter and she is sure that Callum is the cause.

  “I love you, Callum,” Victoria says simply and walks away to go and speak with her father.

  “Wait,” Callum protests, calling after her. “Wait. I want to say it back. That was too fast. It fucking sucked.” She turns back laughing and blows him a kiss. “It sucked!” he says and, even as he says it, she can see the joy and relief on his face. Victoria mouths I love you, taunting him. She’ll tell him again properly later when they are alone.

  George waits a week. It is the tenth of June when he does it. He is on oxygen and getting weaker by the day. Within a few weeks, he will be bed bound and he won’t tolerate that. Rosalie finds him in the morning, as he planned. She wakes Victoria and Victoria wakes Callum. He still sleeps in his owns bed. He is a little old-fashioned about this.

  They bury George next to his wife, Victoria’s mother. It is ironic that the funeral attendees include everyone who was at the party only a week before. Years of business associates, community leaders and friends also come to pay their respects.

  After the service, Victoria wonders about the beautiful blonde woman who snuck in late and sat in the back. As the last of the guests trickle out, Anna taps Callum on the back and introduces herself to Victoria.

  “Anna! Why the hell didn’t you tell me you were coming?” Callum asks, controlling his joy at seeing his sister at this sad event.