Janette Oke

by Laurel Oke Logan

  In the dark days that followed, while Janette lay in her hospital bed and Edward struggled alone with funeral arrangements, Janette felt the prayers of God’s people as never before. She longed for family members and, as one always does in times of sorrow, seemed to need her mother in particular.

  Yet, over and over, a song kept running through her mind, and she sang it mentally again and again. It brought comfort.

  God’s way is the best way

  God’s way is the right way

  I’ll trust in Him always

  He knoweth the best.

  She clung to the sentiments of the song.

  As much as she ached for her baby and yet suffered with the cries from the nursery, she knew she had to face her emotions. When she was given permission to be up, she steeled her resolve and forced her feet to carry her to the nursery window where she could look at the other newborns. God was with her. And she felt love, not bitterness.

  The longer she stood, the more she was able to enjoy the babies. This is where Edward found her, and she wished to share her triumph with him, raising her hand to point out a certain baby, sure that she had found little Jody among the infants. He brushed past her without a glance at the bassinets, his eyes tear-filled. Taking her arm, he led her back to the room. Edward had just come from the funeral home and had seen his infant son ready for burial.

  “He’s just beautiful,” he wept.

  Reverend Bacon was out of town holding evangelistic meetings, so a retired minister from the church, Rev. D. Paul Huffman, readily agreed to officiate at the service. They had opted for a private ceremony at the funeral home, and only a few close friends and sister June from Chicago were in attendance.

  June had come almost immediately on receiving word, leaving behind her two young daughters. Karen, about six at the time, had sent a handmade card for her Aunt Janette with all the love and compassion that a child can pour into a little piece of paper.

  Little Brian Edward Oke was buried in the lovely soft yellow gown, bundled in the snugly blanket his daddy had purchased before they were even sure he was on the way.

  Janette was released from the hospital for the funeral service but not allowed to go to the cemetery. Only his daddy and Reverend Huffman went with the hearse.

  Instead, Janette went home with Maynard and Ruth Yoder. The Yoders had become Edward and Janette’s Indiana “mom and dad,” and they lovingly took care of the grieving couple. After being released from the hospital, Janette spent the first few days with them while Edward was in class and then went home when Edward picked her up at day’s end.

  Dr. Middleton did everything she could think of to make the time easier for Edward and Janette. She insisted that she would accept nothing for her services and stopped by their home to be certain Janette was doing well. Being a parishioner and also a friend, the loss of Brian was difficult for her as well. Brian was the first baby she had lost since setting up her practice.

  Duties at church were resumed. In fact, they increased. It seemed that well-meaning friends had decided what Janette needed was “busyness.” They may have been right, but she was left emotionally drained.

  Janette was given the assignment of children’s Christmas program director. It was a big job and took a good deal of time in rehearsals. She had not yet looked for another job, so she had extra daytime hours at home.

  In spite of the distractions, she continued to grieve silently. On some days while Edward was at class, she would go look at the empty little crib and the drawers full of tiny baby things and weep. She whispered silently to God on one such moment, “I know that I said that you could take him—but I didn’t promise not to cry.” The crying times seemed to be good therapy and were times of slow healing.

  There were friends who felt that it would be good for Janette to have the care of a baby. She was often asked to sit with this one or care for that one. Though she appreciated their concern, it was not a baby she wanted—but her baby. She did baby-sit the ones who were brought to her and gave them loving care, but those times did not bring the comfort to her heart that her friends had hoped.

  Edward and Janette still planned to go home for Christmas. She could hardly wait. Of course, it would not be the same, but at least it would be a chance to see their families and share their grief.

  To those at home, their baby boy would not seem real, Janette reasoned. They had not seen him, not touched him, and not attended his funeral service. All he had been was a little unknown “someone.” Janette longed to tell them all about him so they would feel they had known him, too.

  But the time home was a disappointment to her. Because of the rush and bustle of Christmas activities, no one had the time to sit down and hear the few things she could tell about the baby boy she and Edward had seen and known so briefly. Perhaps she had brought unrealistic expectations. What was there to tell? Maybe there was no way for her to really unburden the thoughts and feelings in her heart.

  Time slipped by, and, as difficult as the experience was, Edward and Janette began to see that it had been a growing time—both in their relationship with God and in their relationship with each other. They were reminded again and again that if they planned to serve in the ministry, in years ahead there would doubtlessly be many times when they would be called upon to share the grief of someone in their congregation. They could now truly understand the sorrow of loss.

  And though the pain was sharp and real, Janette was thankful that a loving God had cushioned the blow as only He could. He had prepared her heart so that there was no bitterness, and He was with her daily, helping her with her sorrow and tears. Slowly, she even began to believe that there might be another child—someday.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Returning Home

  After Christmas Janette began to search for another job. Since she was certain that her mailroom job at Adams and Westlake had long been filled, she did not want to apply there and have them feel they should find another spot for her out of pity.

  Soon she was offered a well-paying position at Miles Laboratory. But it was night-shift work, and had she accepted it, she and Edward would scarcely have seen each other. At that time in their lives, they needed each other more than ever. So Janette turned that offer down.

  Eventually she found a job at the Elkhart Truth, a local newspaper. She told them frankly that she was hoping she would not work for long as she planned to have another child, but they accepted her anyway. She hoped and prayed for another baby, and it was not long until she was pregnant.

  This again was a difficult pregnancy. During the first months, the doctor had to fight to keep the little one. At one point, Janette was sure she had lost the baby, but she was grateful to discover she had been wrong, and at last the pregnancy settled down.

  After some difficult months, the Okes decided they would return to Alberta in June. Edward applied for a ministry position in their home district, and they were assigned a church in Montgomery, a suburb of Calgary.

  Janette quit her newspaper job. She had not quite come to enjoy her work, but it had filled the days and helped pay the bills. She had also been exposed to something new and gotten a small bit of experience in the field, although she felt she had not been there long enough to absorb much.

  The ride back to Alberta, again pulling a trailer, was a long one. Janette was about five months pregnant, and they were concerned about the baby. The roads were rough, and the trailer seemed to exaggerate all the bumps, jerking against the car.

  They reached the Canadian/American border at an awkward hour and found it closed to people crossing with all of their belongings. Rather than sit and wait until the next morning, they decided to keep on driving on the American side.

  Across Minnesota and North Dakota they went. It was raining and the trailer was beginning to leak. Hour after hour went by and the couple was becoming more and more tired, but they could find nothing in overnight accommodations. At last they pulled into a small town and Edward asked about a hotel.
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  He was told that the town had two, but the stranger giving the directions was interrupted by another man saying, “You shouldn’t send them there.”

  They did find a room for the night. It had no lock on the door, the light was turned off by a string from the bare hanging bulb, the window had no blind or curtain, and the sheets and pillowcases had definitely been used—but they took it and were thankful. They desperately needed sleep.

  Edward and Janette arrived in Alberta to new responsibilities and a new home. The Montgomery parsonage was a nice little house of four rooms and a bath. Having managed to save $1,000 from their stay in the United States, they were soon shopping for furniture and found a store in Calgary with reasonable prices. Soon they had purchased a bedroom suite with mattress set, living room suite plus two occasional chairs, and kitchen table and chairs.

  The salesman who helped them also knew of a used dining-room suite. A couple he knew was going through a divorce, and he was helping them sell their furniture. Janette supposed it was not proper for him to be selling used goods for friends on company time, but they were glad to get the furniture. It was a lovely set for the money asked—table, chairs, bureau, and hutch in great condition. They were very thankful that God had helped the money stretch so far, and they had stayed within their $1,000 budget.

  Then housekeeping began. Edward was excited about his first church, though the attendance was a little lopsided. Most of the approximately one hundred who came were children. That meant the few adults of the congregation had to “put in overtime.”

  It was a big year for Edward and Janette. Their first home with their own furniture and the nice things from their wedding which could finally be brought out of storage. They had their first church and all the responsibilities that entailed, and each day that passed brought them closer to the expected arrival of their second baby.

  Because of Janette’s medical history, she had been advised to seek out a specialist upon returning to Calgary. A friend had given her the name of a city doctor, and she was pleased to discover Dr. Buchanan to be worthy of his recommendation. They appreciated his care.

  When at last the day actually arrived, Janette entered the hospital at about six in the morning. It soon became evident that it would be a long delivery. Edward had almost lost faith that the baby would ever make an appearance and began to feel that Janette was doing something wrong. But they were both able to quickly forget the long, miserable day when their new son finally did arrive.

  Terry Lawrence was born around four o’clock on November 19, 1960. The fall weather had been gorgeous up to that point but turned nasty later that same night. Janette was glad that the special event had already happened and that the storm hit after she and her baby were tucked safely in a warm hospital room. Terry weighed in at eight pounds six ounces, a little smaller than his brother Brian had been.

  He looked hale and hearty and Janette was relieved, though she had forced herself not to worry about his arrival. If she had been a bit more aware, she might initially have been panic-stricken, for the staff had some trouble keeping Terry breathing at first. He had needed his little “breathing machine” started more than once. Almost calmly, Janette watched, sure that he was in good hands and was going to be just fine.

  Dr. Middleton had sent all the records along with a personal note. In it, Janette later discovered, the Indiana doctor also informed the Calgary doctor that because of Janette’s past experience, it would be very important for her to be able to hold her new baby as soon as possible. The request was honored, and little Terry was placed in her arms as soon as convenient after they stabilized his breathing.

  Those first moments spent with Terry were wonderful, and even after Janette had been returned to her hospital room and settled for a good night’s rest, she felt satisfied. Her baby was fine. She was a mother.

  However, a terrible scare happened to her the next day. It began with a crying baby. Janette was sure it was the voice of her new son. She made her way down the hall toward the nursery and saw through the open door a hospital intern and a nurse working over a newborn, suctioning fluids from his throat.

  Convinced it really was Terry and feeling scared and sick, Janette returned to her room. Just as she had closed the door softly behind her, the intercom paged two doctors almost simultaneously. They were her own obstetrician and her family doctor. This was enough to absolutely convince Janette that her baby was in trouble.

  A nurse arrived to show Janette to the scheduled baby-bath demonstration, and she followed obediently, not knowing what else to do. The class had not met for long when a nurse poked her head in the door and asked for a Mrs. Cook. Silence followed as each of the ladies in housecoats and slippers looked at one another and the nurses swept their eyes across the room. There was no Mrs. Cook in the class.

  The nurse left, still apparently concerned about finding “Mrs. Cook,” and Janette’s mind launched into wild thoughts. It would be terribly easy to confuse two names as similar as Mrs. Cook and Mrs. Oke. Maybe she had been the one the nurse wanted.

  The tension was more than Janette could stand. She was sure something was wrong and was driven to do the only thing that came to mind. She needed a phone; she was going to call Edward. But a recorded message that the number had been disconnected seemed only to add further panic to her mixed-up thoughts. Her baby was in trouble, and she could not even reach her husband!

  Her mind hummed and buzzed in frantic confusion. What could she do? How could she help? She could think of nothing, so she returned to her room and waited, terror-stricken.

  At feeding time, a familiar nurse pushed open the door and placed Terry in her arms. He looked fine. Janette was so relieved she could have cried. She was still not completely convinced that it had not been Terry out in the nursery under the doctor’s fervent care; but if it had been, God had protected her little son. When Edward arrived for visiting hours and Janette told him of her experience, he could not explain the phone message that she had heard. Both the parsonage phone and the phone at the church office were in perfect working order.

  The morning finally arrived when Janette was scheduled to take her new son home, and her excitement almost caused her doctor to keep her another day. It may have been her temperature or her blood pressure, but he hesitated to let her go. At last he consented and said she was free to leave, and it was a good thing. She was certain that if she had been required to spend another night in the hospital, she would have exploded.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Motherhood

  Janette and baby Terry had a perfect “honeymoon” together for about two weeks. Janette sat at the little kitchen table writing out thank-you notes, filled with the wonder of a brand-new life and having such a good child, while Terry slept peacefully in the small bassinet given by the friends at Beulah. No fussing. No problems. He simply ate and slept.

  Then everything changed, and Janette suddenly found herself with a colicky baby. He began fussing routinely at about two in the afternoon and by four was crying loudly. She may have been able to deal with the baby had the situation not been further complicated by a group of Pioneer Girls who met at the small house each week at four o’clock.

  Janette did not have a baby-sitter, and it became increasingly difficult to juggle a crying baby and run the program at the same time. As she ended each of these frustrating days, Janette felt drained and nearly sick.

  Terry’s fussing got worse and worse through the evening hours until both he and his mother were exhausted, usually somewhere around midnight. Many nights Janette slept with him on her stomach, the warmth of her body hopefully easing the pains in his little tummy.

  Sunday school class was another problem. Again, Janette had Terry in tow. There simply were not enough adults to teach the classes and provide a sitter. Most Sundays she and her baby fared well, but if he decided to be fussy, they were both miserable.

  Janette was trying hard to accomplish her household and church-related tasks, all the while end
eavoring to soothe her baby’s discomfort. Often she would just manage to get Terry to sleep when the phone would ring and he would awaken and cry again.

  And though it was well intentioned, the “advice” she received left her confused and frustrated. The first phone call would say to switch the baby to formula. Then the next caller would state emphatically, “Whatever you do, don’t put him on the bottle.” Though not aware of it at the time, Janette—a new mother—was undoubtedly tense after having lost her first baby. So all the conflicting tips simply couldn’t be shrugged off as they might have been during better times.

  To make matters worse, she was on her own. Edward was extremely busy with church duties, and Janette was trying hard to fulfill her role as pastor’s wife. The closeness they had shared after having lost their first baby was suddenly gone in the face of all of the responsibilities and duties.

  With Janette’s difficulties, and the pressures on Edward, they both were near exhaustion. Edward confessed to having even fallen asleep in his little church office. Janette had no such quiet place to hide.

  “Little sister” Margie had graduated from Bible College and gone to work. In due time she began to accept calls from a fellow student from Mountain View Bible College. Janette was totally in favor and had already decided that the young man, Wilfred Wiens, would make a great match for Margie. They set their wedding date for December 28, and the family enthusiastically joined in with the preparations.

  Janette had volunteered to bake cookies and squares for the reception, but Terry refused to cooperate. Still crying from his tummy aches, he insisted on Mommy’s attention while she tried to concentrate on rescuing cookies from the oven before they burned.

  Gradually the cookie tins filled up, and the fussing baby was none the worse for his fretting. Janette’s nerves were a little frayed—but that eventually righted itself as well. They joined the family for the winter wedding, and Terry was fairly comfortable during the special day.