by Jamela
Finally Ed speaks. “Tasha Burrows hereby gives notice of her resignation, effective immediately. You can mail her paycheck. She will never be setting foot into this place again.” Ed announces.
“I’m so sorry about what happened to Tasha. I care about her too, you know. But, thank you for the information.” Sonny says standing up. “But I want you to know, I won’t rest until I find out who did this. It never should have happened, especially not to Tasha. Thank you for letting her work here. I’ll miss her. She did such a good job….”
“Be careful Sonny. She’s my wife. She’s only an employee to you. I never should have let her work here. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Ed says shaking his head as he walks out.
Sonny and Curtis watch him walk out the front door. Suddenly Curtis turns to Sonny and says, “Are you in love with Tasha? You sounded like the husband, there for a minute.”
“You know, I didn’t realize it until yesterday and I came in and saw that she was hurt. Man, this is tearing me up. I know I can’t have her and I know she is in love with him. But, like I told you. I can’t live without her in my life. She keeps me in check. She never lets me get away with anything I shouldn’t. If I touch her, she hits me. I know she doesn’t like it, but I can’t help myself. And she hits pretty hard for a tiny lil’ woman. I guess I am in love with her.” Sonny says with more realization.
“You better not let Ed find out how you feel about his wife. I get the impression that he doesn’t care a great deal for you anyway.” Curtis says standing.
*********************
I am sitting on the side of the bed replaying in my head the events of the last couple of days at the shop. I know the person who raped me. I must, ‘cause they are so familiar to me. Even the few words I heard them use are familiar. Why can’t I remember who it is? Ed has been such a sweetie. The poor man has taken a few days off from work to be home with me.
The Police have a special patrol on the house just in case the person tries to attack me at home. The children don’t know exactly what has happened. But they know I don’t work anymore. They come in and ask if there is anything they can do to make me feel better. I have such sweet boys. Thank goodness my father is dead. I know he would be looking for someone to kill for this. Ed is not a hothead so I’m sure he’ll let the Police handle this. “I wonder if there are any witnesses from across the street who saw anything? They must have seen him come into the shop. He had to have come in through the front door ‘cause he didn’t walk past me.”
I’ll call the Police later and mention this to them. Although I’m sure they’ve already asked questions of the businesses in the area. Then I realize I hadn’t gotten the mail. “The mailman comes at the same time every day. He’s so dependable, you can set a clock by him. The attack was around the same time the mailman should have come. Usually if the shop isn’t open, he slips the mail through the slot.” I reach for the cordless phone next to my bed.
“Yes, may I speak with Officer Woodson? Yes, she responded to a sexual assault yesterday. I may have some additional information for her. That would be fine. I’ll be looking for her to come by. Thank you.” I say hanging up the phone.
About an hour later I’m in the kitchen taking something out for dinner. I hear a chime and jump. Then I realize it’s the doorbell. I cautiously walk to the window to see who it is. The Police car is parked right in front of the house. I look through the peephole and recognize Officer Woodson.
“Who is it?”
“Officer Woodson. I got a message that you may have some new information, Tasha.”
“Okay.” I say opening the door. The Officer and her partner come inside. I tell them I remember something that is odd. I ask if they talked with the business across the street or next door. They say they have done so. I get a little discouraged ‘cause they don’t mention having any leads. But I go on. “I realized today I never got the mail the other day. I remember’ cause the mailman comes the same time every day. You can set a clock by him. Have you talked with him to see if he saw anything?” I ask hoping this will be something to help.
“No we haven’t. I’ll go back to find out if Sonny got the mail that day, then get the information concerning the mailman. He may have seen something without realizing it. Thanks for the additional information.” She says. She looks at her partner and nods to him.
“I’ll be in the car.” He says walking toward the door.
Officer Woodson looks at me then says, “Are you doing okay. I know this is hard for you. But it’s good that you’re remembering things.”
“Hard is putting it lightly. I feel so guilty. I never should have taken that job and this never would have happened. I don’t know how I’ll ever make this up to Ed.” I say shaking my head.
“I’m sure your husband understands. But statistics show there is someone sexually assaulted every two minutes in this country. So, you can’t say the job had anything to do with it. Though I can understand why you feel that way.”
“Officer, what are the real changes of finding this guy? Truthfully, I need to know.” I ask sincerely.
“If he doesn’t do it again slim, especially if he doesn’t have a Police record. He didn’t leave any fingerprints. And the DNA samples we got from you are no good if we don’t’ have something to compare them to. Right now, our hopes are resting on the few witnesses in the area that day and their memory. But, honestly, it seems he was after you from what you’ve told me. He even made a reference to doing it again. But, we are doing everything we can to catch him. We just need you to be patient with us.” She says with a small smile.
“I’ll try my best. It’s hard, you know. I find myself thinking about it even when I don’t want to. I’m constantly taking showers. And my poor Ed, he’s been such a wonderful husband about all of this. He even moved out of the bedroom until I was ready to have him sleep in the same bed with me. But, I don’t want this to ruin my marriage.” I say with tears streaming down my face.
“The counseling will help. Have you set up your appointment yet? The counselor is a personal friend of mine. I can tell you, she is very good.”
“Yes, I’ve made the appointment. It’s tomorrow at 3pm. She says I can see her for as long as I need to. Which is good, ‘cause I don’t know how long it will take me to get back to being me.” I tell her.
“Well good. Make sure you use that resource. Many women don’t and have problems later in life. It doesn’t have to be that way. Anyway, we’ll let you know if we find out anything. You try to have a good day.” She says walking to the door.
The Officers leave as I look out the window. I see Ed drive up and come inside. I walk over to him and give him a hug and a kiss. “Thank you for being here and being my rock. I remembered something and called the Police to let them know.”
“Good. I went to see Sonny. I gave him your resignation effective immediately. He says he’s gonna miss you and he’ll do whatever he can to find out who did this.”
“Yeah, that’s nice. I’m so sorry for not listening to you. I should have quit that day rather than convincing you to let me stay. Can you ever forgive me?” I say.
“Tasha, come here. Sit down.” Ed says as he guides me to the sofa. “Look, there is nothing for me to forgive. You didn’t plan for this to happen. You didn’t do anything to make this happen. I know you. I know how you carry yourself. I know how you treat people. You have a pleasing personality and people like being around you. If this was someone who expressed interest in you, I’m sure you turned them down. But I’m also sure you did it nicely, but firmly. The person who did this is a criminal. They took something from you because they knew you wouldn’t give it. They planned it and waited until you were alone. Rape is a crime of anger and power. Not sex. I don’t want you to think I’m upset with you because you were doing something you wanted to do. I don’t blame you for this in any way. I blame the monster who did it completely. Even Sonny feels the same way.
I love you Tasha. I will always be here for you. This is j
ust something we have to deal with. But, please remember that I do not blame you. I just feel so helpless. I wish there were something I could do to take the pain away. I can’t stand to see you hurt. I just want to help you.” He says holding my hands.
“Ed I love you so much. You are the best man in the world. Hopefully the Police will get something from the information I gave them this morning.” I say as I stand up. “I’m about to fix something for lunch. Do you want something?” I realize I need to do something to keep my mind busy.
“Yes, whatever you fix is fine with me. I hate to say it, but I miss you being at home. Maybe you can find something else to do when you’re ready.” He says walking to the computer. “Let me know when the food is ready. I need to check my email from the office.”
I fix a chef’s salad with chicken breast slices, ice tea and a small bowl of fruit. We eat and make plans for the children during my appointment with the counselor. Ed agrees to work at home for the rest of the week. Since today is only Wednesday, I’m happy I’ll have him around as I struggle through this ordeal. I clean up the kitchen and go take a nap. The pain medication I’m taking makes me sleep.
When I wake up, the boys are home from school. Ed is working on the computer and there is a message from my mother. I call her and she tells me she feels like something is wrong. I assure her everything is okay. I let her know I’ll have more time since I quit my job. She says she’d like to come spend a week with us during the holiday break for the kids. I agree and tell her we’ll send her a train ticket since she doesn’t fly. Finally she is satisfied and we end the call.
I ask Ed and the boys what they want for diner. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I wanted us to go out to eat if you feel up to it. I should have mentioned it earlier. “He says with a frown.
“Oh that’s fine ‘cause I really don’t feel much like cooking dinner anyway. Are we going to our usual place?”
“Yeah. Are you going to get ready now?”
“Yeah, it’ll take me about 30-45 minutes.” I say as I turn to go back into the bedroom. I take a shower then pick out something to wear. It takes a while to do my hair. I’m moving slowly so it takes me all of the 45 minutes to get ready. Once I come out of the bedroom, my youngest son walks over to me and hugs me. “Hi Mommy, I’m glad you finally woke up. I missed you and when I came home I looked in on you. You looked so pretty sleeping. Do you feel better?” Asks five-year old Eric.
“Yes sweetie, I feel better. I’m just a lil’ tired. I’m happy to see you too and thank you for letting me sleep.” I say as I rub his head.
Xavier and Jonathan are watching carefully. They know something is wrong. I make up my mind to talk with them later to ease their minds. Ed finishes up what he’s doing and we leave. We take the 15-minute drive to the Olive Garden. Italian is my favorite kind of food. Sometimes we rotate and eat Chinese. But I’m sure Ed came here to make me feel better. As we get out and walk in, I hear someone call my name. I turn and I see Jarvis, the mailman at the shop walking toward me.
“Hello there talented lady. I haven’t seen you at the shop the last few days. Are you feeling okay?” He asks.
“No. I’m a little under the weather. This is my husband and my children.” I say pointing to each as I give the names.
“Nice to meet you all. Tasha does such a good job at Sonny’s World. I’m sure he misses her as she tries to get well. Anyway, I’m meeting someone for dinner. I’ll see you all later. Bye Tasha.” He says walking off.
“He’s friendly. He must spend a lot of time talking with you. He seems to know a lot about what you did at the shop.” Ed says with a frown.
I look up at him and obviously move my eyes to the boys. He catches the hint and looks away. “Okay boys, you ready to go do some damage?” He asks excitedly.
“Yeah!” Comes a chorus from the boys. We go inside. The waitress, who is used to seeing us, gives us our usual table. The boys order their favorites then Ed and I order. I look around the restaurant. I feel uncomfortable, but I don’t know why. Then I spot Jarvis staring at me. He smiles then quickly looks the other way. I avert my gaze. There is something about him. I mean he comes into the shop and he’s always friendly. He never says or does anything questionable or out of the way. But, there’s something. I realize I’m probably being paranoid and struggle to turn my mind to something else. I notice Jonathan is talking about his science project. I look at his smiling face and realize how fortunate I am to have a beautiful family. I’m glad the crime committed wasn’t something that took me away from them. The rest of the dinner was tolerable. A couple of times I look up and see Jarvis looking our way. But he could have been looking at someone past us. He said he was meeting someone for dinner, but he ate alone. Finally I was relieved when he paid his check and left. I relax and enjoy the rest of my meal.
When we finish we leave and stop off at Redbox to rent a couple of movies. Ed thinks it’ll give me something to do during the day and keep my mind busy. I make sure the boys have their homework done and get washed up for bed. There is a knock on the bedroom door after about an hour. “Who is it?” I say sitting up on the bed.
“X”, Can I talk to you for a minute?” He says.
“Yeah, come in.” He opens the door and walks into the room. I pat the foot of the bed in an indication for him to sit down. He should have been asleep by now. But, for him to be awake, his nine-year old mind must be racing. “What’s the question?”
“It’s not really a question. I wanna know what’s wrong. You haven’t been acting like yourself for the last couple of days. I know you haven’t been feeling good, but you’ve never acted like this before when you were sick. Are you really okay? Is there something we should know?” He says frowning.
“X, there is nothing for you to worry about. I have been sick, but you don’t need to worry about that. I’m getting better. Why, what are you worried about?”
“I don’t know. It just crossed my mind that one day you might not be here. I mean I know parents don’t live forever, but I don’t want you to die. I just don’t know. It just crossed my mind when I came home from school Monday and you were in the bed sleeping. Then when you weren’t up to see us off to school the next day, I got worried. I was just thinking about it, that’s all.” He says looking me directly in the eye.
“X, there is nothing for you to worry about. I promise I’ll take good care of myself. Besides, if something happened to me, who would make you clean your nasty room?” I say jokingly. I reach over and give him a hug. He squeezes me so tightly I can’t believe the strength he has. He’s growing up so fast. Before I know it, he’ll be moving on to college and the things that come with it. “Now you go on back to bed and get a good night’s rest. I promise I’ll be up to see you guys off to school tomorrow.” I say with a smile.
Xavier leaves and again I think about the fact that I may not have been here to talk with him at all. I’m happy to have the kind of relationship where I can talk with my boys. They show their love for me every day. Even in front of other people. It’s strange, I’ve always wanted a daughter, but I’m happy with my boys. They think they’re big men and can protect me from anything. I pick up the book I’ve been reading, Liar’s Game, and read until I fall asleep.
Suddenly I sit straight up in bed. I remember something. I jump up and put my robe on. I leave the room and walk down the hall to Ed who’s sleeping in the guest room. I open the door and walk in. He is in bed asleep as he should be at 3:16 am. “Honey, wake up. I remember something.” I say shaking him. He sits up rubbing his eyes. “What, what’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?” He says turning to me after he switches the bedside lamp on.
“No. I don’t think I had a nightmare. But I think I know who did it. Ed, I think I know who it was.” I hiss.
“Who, Tasha? Who was it?”
“I think it was Jarvis, the mailman. When he saw us tonight he called me “the talented lady”. He always calls me that. I mean every time he comes into the shop. That’s the firs
t thing he says: “How is the talented lady doing today” or something to that effect. Then he was watching us all during the time he was at the restaurant. Ed, I think he did it.” I say crying.
“Okay. Calm down. Officer Woodson isn’t on duty yet, but she will be at 6am. We can call then, okay? In the mean while maybe you should write down the stuff you remember so you don’t forget what you want to tell her.” He says rubbing my back in an attempt to ease my pain.
“Ok. But, Ed, can I sleep in here with you? “
“Sure you can sleep in here. You don’t have to ask me a silly question like that. You just come get in the bed if this is where you want to sleep. I don’t have a problem with it. I told you, I will always be here for you.” He says.
“Good.” I say climbing into the bed. Ed reaches over and switches out the lamp. He snuggles down under the covers and turns over on his side. I miss what we’ve always shared lying beside him. I feel so violated by the rape. But I can’t shut Ed out forever. He can only be so strong. “Ed, can I ask you a big favor?” I say from behind him.
“Sure, anything.”