Gabriel, I'm (not) a serial killer

by Frank Spoiler

  When I was by her side I had them on already and wasted no time. I grabbed her by the waist and pushed her into an alley while using the only weapon at my disposal. No, not my cock, worse than that... the bottle of pills! What the fuck do you want? I had nothing else on me. I pushed it into her with all my strength, hoping she would believe it was a gun or something and it seemed to work because she turned white as a snowflake.

  People were coming, so I cornered her in the back of the alley and I planted my lips on hers. I heard an old woman saying "These shameless youngsters".

  I looked into her eyes. They were green and her tears had gone dry with fear, I think. I spoke softly, very close to her mouth:

  - I'm sorry green-eyes, I've nothing against you... but I'm going to kill you.- Fuck, these headache pills are turning me soft as shit, or am I becoming gay? I looked to my groin and... nothing moved there. The girl started mumbling:

  - Please, no, don't, I'll do anything... don't kill me... make me yours or let me do things to you, I'm an expert. I can make you very happy...

  Bah! The usual stuff. She cried her eyes away, trying for my crotch but I was not in it and it wasn't there either. I got angry and the searing pain came back and I couldn't help it... I get soft like pudding when they speak like that... so I took her head gently in my hands and I smashed it against the wall.

  Two times against the red bricks and that's all it took, she was limp in my hands, her eyes were staring into nothing. She didn't suffer. I looked at her. Her lips were full and red, still wet with tears... I kissed her goo night (her lips were still warm) and I lowered her into the ground, gently. I didn't even get a spot of blood on me, she must have been cold, barely a drop came out. I glanced at the street... out of the alley everything was buoyant. I took my gloves off and put them in my pocket, I would have time to dispose of them in the lab, no one would think to look there... No one but lieutenant Mathias, of course. I watched the girl and she looked like any other drunk, sleeping it off. I stuck my hands in my pockets and left the place, whistling. I have to quit these pills, I pondered, shaking my head. I'm not enjoying it like before, I thought as I disappeared amongst the crowd.

  Chapter 7

  This has to end. the lieutenant is breathing down my neck... I think he knows something, I know, he's getting closer. I don't know how to deceive him or trick him. He's a smart motherfucker. I know he keeps an eye on me, though I'm not sure to what extent.

  I must be careful... but I have run out of goods; it's been too many days without re-supplying. Shit, it gets under your skin, this addiction. I can't quit it. For a moment, the image of lieutenant Mathias spinning in the oven comes to my mind... Puaj! Disgusting! I almost retched there.

  He has to be horrifyingly tough with all that work out! He kills himself with weights and pushups every day for a couple of hours in the police station's gym, in the lower levels. The good thing is he did it after work hours, but he was consistent, not like other colleagues who went there to score. We had no knowledge of a social life for him, if he had it he was good at keeping it secret.

  I have to get rid of him somehow... My mind kept coming back to that, it was becoming an obsession. I have to finish him, I told myself.

  I couldn't agree more with my own thoughts. And I didn't even know how close he was getting. So close he was I could have turned my head a second earlier and see him at my back. I was still far from knowing what was coming.

  I came home and headed straight for the shower. I felt strangely dirty even if there had been no blood at all on me or my clothes. Remorse? Not a speck.

  It was the walk I had to take to get that prize.

  I wasn't satisfied, that was for sure. I felt weird. Usually I felt nothing when others died, I believe I chose forensics because I had no scruples when handling dead people. Yes, I guess I could have chosen to be a grave digger, but it is not the same pay and satisfaction. I would later realize I had chosen the best career for my hobby; I had an advantage few other careers offered: To handle my victims again.

  Nevertheless, the last one was not as enjoyable, no sir. I decided that was going to change.

  And it would change so much... I nearly killed myself when stepping out of the shower because of the soap bar. No, don't imagine it, I was face up in the tub, naked and dizzy. Not very scary, right? (Ass wipes)

  After I got dry and dressed , my body was still sore. I had no choice but to leave for work. I had to deliver the report to lieutenant Mathias himself en persona. A whim from him.

  The hit & run victim. You thought I had forgotten, right? you suckers. The truth is there wasn't much to analyze, his bones and insides were a pulp after my car went over him. The lieutenant wasn't about to find that out, certainly, at least not from me. I could also tell you who the girl was, who her parents were, what she was doing that night (other than running from a boy who had raped her.) I could even tell you who the boy was... but I don't feel like it.

  Well, maybe just one thing: he wasn't her boyfriend.

  Going into the office of the man with the broad shoulders and the rock hard abs and the shiver inducing gaze (which didn't work on me), I felt the cold stare trying to strip my soul, or worse, make me confess all of my crimes. - He was clear on that.- I dropped the report on his desk.

  - what's wrong Gabriel? Not going to read it today?.- He joked bitingly.

  - Well... no, it's your turn today, big guy!.- I said, annoyed.- Besides, I got a hard day coming, lots of new autopsies.

  And then he drew the knife in, no anesthesia...

  - I've asked for a new coroner! An intern - he corrected.- to help you out. You're so busy! - He showed his teeth after saying that, trying to smile, but it wasn't funny at all to me. And anyway, his eyes could not deceive me, he was coming after me! And what better way to do that than by getting a spy in the lab? My blood was racing, but my face had a smile on, though I'm sure I wasn't fooling anyone.

  I was about to kill him right there, but no, I decided there were other, less dangerous means to do it. It was decided then, he could not keep on living. Before he became my hunter I had to make him my prey and I promised myself to look for a way, or ways, to finish him without getting myself in trouble. Blaming it on someone else was imperative.

  Mathias was amused, he wanted to see my face full o fear or guilt but he had met his match. I'm really good at poker, so he didn't get to see what he wanted.

  Someone knocked on the door and, without waiting or the lieutenant to say the word, that someone came in.

  I couldn't believe my eyes. It was the gorgeous blonde that wanted me to kill her who, to make matters worse, kissed Mathias. And to top it all, she said:

  - Good morning my love.

  She didn't even looked at me. She ignored me completely, which actually allowed me to breathe easy, which meant Mathias knew nothing. And then, what the hell was she doing there? Why was she going out with the lieutenant? Of course, the guy was good looking and so and so... so fucked up!

  Mathias must have seen my reddening face because he said, having fun with it:

  - Gabriel, meet my girlfriend.- She looked at the blonde and said:- Rose, meet distinguished doctor Gabriel, better known as Dr. Scalpel.

  Rose smiled timidly (the whore was good). Even if it was worthless, you had to hand an Oscar to that performance. She offered her hand. I supposed she expected me to pull her close and kiss her cheeks, but she got it wrong. I knew Mathias was watching us, as if waiting to see our reaction, so I moved forward, grabbed her waist in a dance move not even Mikhail Baryshnikov himself would pull off and I stamped a kiss full on her lips. No tongue, mind you, I hadn't brushed my teeth that morning.

  After the initial surprise, I told her very casually:

  - Sorry, that is the custom in this department.- And I left in a hurry before hulky Mathias had the notion to kick my ass for daring to grope his girl.

  I went to the autopsy room and started filing papers and reports that were backed up due to my bosses lack of
interest. They ran a loose ship and I took advantage of that; they were mostly old men and women who had died of old age and hoodlums no one gave a damn about.

  The only interesting deaths were the ones I myself manufactured and, logically, hid away.

  I suddenly remember what Mathias had said. they were bringing another coroner in, who would be at my charge, but whose presence meant I was being doubted in my professionalism.

  But yeah, what the hell was the hot blonde doing with Mathias? And why do you always go there, bunch of perverts?

  What I mean is, what made her go out with a guy that had less grace than prince Felipe doing a claqué? And why did I have to run into her everywhere? Anyway, those two were making me very angry. So I sat down and put the earplugs in my ears.

  Not even Mathias, clever as he was, had realized I had installed a mic on the pen I had given him with the last report. Surely what I was going to hear was going to be really interesting.

  Two stories up:

  - Sit down, Rose.- Mathias gestured for the blonde to sit in front of him.

  Rose hesitated for a moment but then thought of it better. She knew she had to put up with her stout new boyfriend Mathias.

  Mathias wasn't smiling anymore, he was very serious and worried, maybe a little upset. His impeccably shaven face wasn't effeminate at all, on the contrary, his grey eyes were, at the moment, alight with rage, looking at the blonde. But Rose's voice showed no fear.

  - I told you I would do it! I was and I am the perfect type for that damn killer...

  - Shut up, you fool! You almost got yourself killed like the other ones.- Mathias drove his fist against the desk.- Will you ever learn to obey your superior? - He shouted.- You were kicked out of the department for disobeying orders! I got you back for this case and, is this how you repay me? What the fuck is wrong with you Rose? Do you want to get killed?

  Rose lowered her eyes, unable to hold the gaze of those accusing grey eyes.

  - Is that it?.- Mathias was perplexed.- Right, you're damned cancer! Now I get it, you want to die. Is that it? You don't feel strong enough to go on fighting... - Mathias could not believe it.

  Rose bit her lower lip. She couldn't bear anyone remind her of her cowardness, she knew it. She hated suffering and was afraid to die in terrible pain.

  - Rose, you know what the surgeon said after the operation, it is very unlikely the thing would expand, why are you so afraid?- Mathias could not understand.

  - You still don't get it, right? everything I said after the surgery was a lie! I made my parents lie to you all!- Said Rose with shaky words.

  Mathias was not giving any credit to what he heard. How was it possible she lied?

  - Yes, don't look at me like that, I'm not a monster, I was just scared... - And then Rose burst out crying. Mathias, the tough guy, cracked and ran to her side.

  I closed the mic. Well, I don't think anything of interest will be said anymore and I'm not staying for dessert.

  When I got home, I went straight for the fridge. I needed a cold beer. I wasn't really tired, it had been a really boring day.

  Even snooping on the lieutenant and the blonde. It didn't matter much to me. I opened the fridge and... I shat on myself. Not one fucking beer and damn it to hell if I had to go and get more. On top of that, quitting the pills was making my head feel like my brain was swimming on clouds thick as gelatin.

  I remembered then I could get some pizza delivered and I could ask for a few beers with it. I wasn't hungry for pizza, of course, but I have always been lazy, so suck on that. Yes, that's what I did, I called the pizza delivery and ordered a double cheese and anchovies cake (I hate anchovies). Yes, well, I deserved it for being a putz. And half a dozen brewskies.

  I sat snuggly on the couch in front of the TV, waiting for my beer. I didn't even turn it on. It's always the same shit at this hour. Yes, sure, there are more options and networks but we humans are assholes. We don't like shit but we have it anyway. I looked at my watch. Half past five. It wouldn't be long before the pizza boy arrived. I don't know how long I slept, the thing is the guy probably got tired of ringing the door bell and this asshole knew nothing about it, so he had to eat it. And I do say he ate it, because he got back to work without pizza or hunger.

  So I woke up because his bosses kept calling me on the phone until they finally got me up. I was so hungry I could have eaten the churro maker in the corner of the street, ugly as he was, and without chewing.

  They tried to charge me for the pizza, of course. Naturally, I told them were to shove it and mentioned the delivery boy's mother a few times. I was almost ready to go find him and chop his balls...

  Then I felt that freezing cold gaze on the back of my neck. I shivered... she always managed to do it. I turned and there she was.

  - Mom.- I whispered weakly.

  She always stared, cold and hard, never saying anything. Nevertheless, she knew everything. I know now, if it hadn't been for her... Could I have lost my way? Damn you mother! I... was a normal man until she came to live with me. Or not, I'm sure there were parts missing in my brain, otherwise how do you explain what happened later... It was days and months with her and every day it was worse, she cried and cried and cried, no matter what I tried to do to calm her.

  It was all good at the beginning, I took her for a walk every day, when I got from work.

  I always took the evenings to be with her (mornings were handled by a girl my brothers hired). Little by little, the thing got worse and the girl quit, saying she couldn't take it anymore.

  So what was I supposed to do? I did what I did, ask for paid leave. At first I thought I could fix it in three days. Sure, and some fries with it, the woman was hard to soften. One year and... I had no choice; I had to speed things up.

  Those blue eyes are the only thing she left me.

  Chapter 8

  I don't know why, but I end up telling you my most intimate stories. Well, there is a reason you're here, waiting for me to go on, right?

  Well, let me tell you, my seventh victim was a man.

  But not just any man, no. He was a business man and that's what he called himself The Businessman. A son of a bitch if there ever was one. I've never killed anyone out of pleasure. I mean, I've never thought about it like that, but this time... God! it felt so good to kill him with my own hands. This Business man brought women from abroad to be prostituted. HE brought them from different countries to earn a living in Spain. They were easy to fool. He would just tell them of the great life you could lead in Spain and the good money you could make serving wealthy families. Some even thought they were coming here to dance and become famous.

  So one of them (I didn't know) was the girl that cared for my mother.

  She was lucky for a while. She came into service just like they had promised. The funny thing is that I never noticed a weird accent on her. And she was Russian. Of course, I barely exchanged words with her. "Good morning!" "See you tomorrow" and that was it. Her salary was collected by the agency straight from the bank. I didn't want to pay cash.

  Truly, even though I only got to see her in the mornings and sometimes in the afternoon, I grew fond of her if only because she had to put up with my mother, smiles and all.

  No, I don't know her name... But I knew what she looked like and there she was in the paper, only a week after she quit, fed up with my mother, which I really understood. According to the news, they had found her body in the Llobregat river. Her body was torn, beaten to a pulp. Her face... was almost unrecognizable. they had splashed acid on her face. I could still recognize her blue eyes, how could I forget those beautiful blue eyes!

  (It is also true that there was a lot of information about her in the paper, like her name and her apparent ties to the Russian mafia).

  That could only mean one thing. Either there was a killer worse than me or... it was a settling of scores.

  Indeed, there was no worse killer than me. So a settling of scores was all it could be.

  It wa
s easy to find out who had done it. No! There was no magic in it! I'm the one writing the story, damn it! The truth is a had ran into the man a few days back and I had asked about her very casually. I didn't really care, to be honest, but I felt like being nice that day. The asshole didn't even recognize me. He only saw me the one time, when I requested someone to care for my mother. He didn't even brought her in. She came to the house with a Russian smile and a letter written by him. Anyway, the guy said the girl hadn't made it and that she had gone back to her country of origin. Me, I bought it like a toddler, why wouldn't I? So I thought no more about it until I saw the picture in the paper. And then I thought: That motherfucker played me like a flute! I couldn't let it go, she deserved to rest in peace.

  Vengeance

  Little did Igor know that the day I called him to speak about a substitute for the girl was going to be his last.

  I met him very close to the lab, where I had prepared a good amount of morphine¸ courtesy of the chief lab technician, who owed me a favor. Enough to put a horse to sleep. Igor not only looked like a horse but he was mad as one too. I had to be ready. I couldn't make any mistakes, so as soon as he showed up I made my move before he could react.

  I hugged him like we were old friends and stuck the needle in the back of his neck. He had no way of getting away from me. Morphine worked quickly and cleanly and his knees buckled. I wasted no time and pulled him into my work place. I was lucky with the dosage, he could still walk and stumble in. He was so big I never could have carried him myself. Security cameras would only see Dr. Scalpel and a slightly dizzy friend.

  Only lieutenant Mathias worried me at the time, but I would think of some excuse to explain the oddity, especially since everyone knew I had no friends at all. Now I just needed to make the bastard suffer. And I was going to make him suffer!

  Igor finally opened his eyes. He had me worried for a moment, I thought I had messed up the mix of muscle relaxant and morphine. When he saw himself tied up to an autopsy table, naked and exposed to a guy with a scalpel, he started shaking and singing my song! He wasn't into opera, sadly. HE didn't answer any of my questions because I had to ask none. He spilled it all. With a little help, of course.