Gabriel, I'm (not) a serial killer

by Frank Spoiler

I came home, went straight into the bathroom and took off my clothes, willing to take a refreshing shower. when I took my jacket off was when I realized I had, unknowingly, kept the victim's bracelet. I felt curious and had to take a look at it. The shape of it and the drawings it in were both weird, with impossible letters spelling an unintelligible language. Only when I looked on the inside loop did I see the name, and it was strange to see that it was not weird at all. The name was in Spanish -Alicia-. I was tempted to caress and press a beautiful emerald that was featured in the bracelet and shone in an exaggerated way, given that light conditions in the bathroom. I think I pressed it for a fraction of a second and my mirror image disappeared. I thought it was an hallucination- and I got scared- so I went to the kitchen and grabbed a food storing bag, placed the bracelet in it, closed it -I had to protect it from rust- and then I got rid of it putting it in the water tank of the toilet.

  I would come up with some way to dispose of it, I couldn't take any chances. Mathias was almost brushing my ass and that didn't feel well - He wasn't my type- What would become of her cop girlfriend? Now, SHE was hot! (Too bad she's going to die soon).

  While I thought about all of this, Mathias was wasting no time and, right at the same time, he was picking samples from the waste incinerator in the forensics lab. He found an interesting piece: A golden tooth. A souvenir from mother-mugging Igor. In all the excitement of ripping him apart, I forgot to check his teeth.- And then, the piece had an inscription in it, some initials: A.C. (what it meant I had no fucking clue), so Mathias was able to find the dentist that did the job just by asking two others. Lic. Escobar was written on the door. He was a Colombian who'd been living in Barcelona for a decade.

  When Mathias went in with his tell-me-what-I-want-to-know-or-I'll-turn-your-balls-to-dust gaze, he immediately earned the sympathies of Mr. Escobar, who ran so fast towards the back door he could have been called The Colombian Karl Lewis.

  Good old Mathias didn't let him get too far. He tripped him and made him fall, face first into the wall, breaking at least half the pineapple.

  Afterwards, not satisfied with seeing him bleed like a stock pig, he crushed the doctor's chest with his 45 Magnum (not talking about his gun) and a hundred and ten kilos of pure muscle, asking politely: "Why are you running, motherfucker?" Mr. Escobar's face started turning purple, spitting blood like a pig at a slaughterhouse, but with a 45 Magnum on his belly. What more could he ask to be happy?

  But the joke was on the lieutenant. Poor Mr. Escobar had indeed worked on Igor's mouth, but knew nothing else. He ran for a simple reason, Igor didn't want to pay for the job and when the doctor tried to send the law after him, Igor sent him a message saying that if he didn't back down he was going to turn his balls to powder and make a french tortilla with it. So he got scared and ran from the lieutenant, fearing the goon had finally come after him for the tortilla ingredients... his balls.

  Mathias's tantrum was championship grade, almost making the tortilla himself. Nevertheless, due to his charge, he had to breathe in several times, grab his own balls, put them in his scrotum and get the fuck away from there.

  Meanwhile, I was busy trying to find a gay victim. What do you want? The idea had grown on me.

  I could only find one in a gay scene place. San Gabriel pub. What an unfitting name! I remembered a corpse that had had its throat slit and, with further investigation, had been killed in a fight between faggety lovers who used to hang out in that pub. Apparently, the culprit thought his lover had been having an affair with the waiter because he had ordered a lot of daiquiris he would never drink.

  Just as I was about to go in the pub, my assistant Bogden appeared. what he was doing there, I do not know. I swear I felt like killing him right there and then.

  - Boss! - He shouted enthusiastically (as if he hadn't seen me in ten years). I gave him a look that almost made him cry when he realized how little I cared about seeing him.

  - What th... are you doing here?- I put the brakes on my impulse.

  - Oh, it's just... um... I'm visiting some friends.- He grumbled while looking at the neon sign.

  I almost laughed at myself. I was looking for an homosexual and I had one right at home. Hysterical, I tell you. But it wasn't supposed to be him. Besides, I was kind of beginning to like him. In the end, he was Mathias's dog and I had to leave him be, so as not to get the Doberman on my trail. He might even work for me as a hook, I told myself.

  - Come on, Bogdan, buy me a drink and introduce me to your friends!- I said with a smile and a hint of irony.

  Bogdan could not believe his luck. His own boss... was asking for a drink?

  - Sure boss, let's get in!- His voice sounded like bells in my ears. I was a step closer to my next objective.

  I smelled the characteristic scent of pot as soon as we stepped inside the door. It's not like they were smoking it, no. With the prohibiting laws in effect? Impossible! What was happening was that a group of fruits were doing sort of a belly dance, wearing only a marijuana leaf to cover the stuff. They were very good dancers, judging from the reaction they were having, all eyes were on them. My pall Bogden was wide eyed and almost drooling, so I had to slap his back and say:

  -Wake the fuck up! Let's go to the bar!- And he got there very quickly thanks to my gentle push.

  I don't know what he said to the barman, but we got the best table, right in front of the dance floor, where the two nymphs were still doing their snake charming dance. A couple of though looking men were evicted from the table (they had more hair than a gorilla) and they left, very annoyed, towards a table two meters in the back, giving us an image of their hairier butts.

  I felt a chill run down my spine -not a pleasant one. Argh! Dis-fucking-gusting. I began to wonder what the fuck I was doing there, and I answered the question immediately. I was looking for a victim, right? So I watched the workings of the place and started dismissing customers with a single look.

  "Not that one, he's gayer than a pigeon and uglier than Esteban in a swim suit.

  Shit on Christ! I saw one in the back of the room putting his ass on another who looked like those gigantic bag boys in The english cut, he had a package between his legs big enough to go in his ass an come out of his mouth. I saw another one, sitting by himself, maybe waiting for someone else, but he didn't catch my fancy either.

  Two whiskies later, Bogdan's chatter was unstoppable, but I paid him no mind, I was desperately hoping for one of those butterflies to get my attention. And then Bogdan said the magic word:

  - Carla!.- HE jumped from his seat, spilling his drink and cups to the floor, to Carla's amusement, who did not hesitate to laugh at him while giving him a big hug and a glorious kiss in slobbery Bogdan's mouth. Once he stopped drooling, he turned to me and said:- Boss, meet Carla, my girlfriend.

  You could have pinched me right then I wouldn't feel a thing. That sweet looking woman was a man? And Bogdan's girlfriend? I was sure he was gay, so how come he had that girlfriend? What kind of dirty world are we living in? Can't we tell the difference between a broad and a dude? And then I was getting hard. Hard? I was bursting out of my pants! That thing looked like a circus tent! I mean, I didn't want to get up and make a fool of myself.

  - Ehem!- Carla cleared her throat. I guess she wanted me to look her in the eye.

  - Please have a seat Carla, have a drink with us.- I smiled, trying to be polite.- Bogdan, get another round of scotch, or whatever Carla drinks.- I pushed him out of his chair and he turned around, not very happy with my wishes. Still, feeling my cold and dry gaze, he went to the bar, mumbling something about calling the waiter. I tried to kick him as he left, but I kicked Carla instead.

  - Shit! I'm sorry Carla, I didn't mean to hit you.- I looked at her in awe. I was starting to drool like a fucking Bogdan!

  Carla smiled, showcasing two rows of perfectly aligned white teeth the imperial British guard would never have improved. I began to think Bogdan had played a trick on me and Carla was some sort of lab grown marvel.
She was so well built.

  - It doesn't matter, Gabriel, right?.- She said with a delicious voice tone. She was to kill for. (And eat her later, I swore).

  - Here's your drink, boss.- Bogdan interrupted. I didn't jump to his neck because it was hairy, otherwise... He had brought two more shots of whiskey and a coke. But I realized my mistake soon enough. She drank the whiskey and pushed the coke towards Bogdan, who took little sips of it. Then I realized his drinks were untouched on his side of the table, ruined because of the ice melting. Was he playing tough guy with me or was he trying to get me drunk or distracted? I looked at him and almost felt sorry for him. He was going to be short of a girlfriend like I was short of a mother.

  I was willing to use all my charm to get Carla home with me. She would be quite a dish.

  What was I to do? Let her go to waste in Bogdan's arms? It is not like and excessively handsome, I don't even think I'm cute, but still, I'm a hit with the ladies. It's really strange, but then again, who can understand women? I, for one, do not. I don't even try.

  The good thing this time is that it wasn't a female -or so I thought-, what's really amazing is that she did it all herself. Yes, I don't know how or why, but she came up with an excuse and sent poor Bogdan to sleep it off! When Bogdan left with his tail between his legs (he had to have something there) I began to think it was all a little suspicious, too easy for my taste and my sense of smell, credit to my career as a forensics examiner for ten years (and one as a killer) for it.

  Something was off, and it was neither me nor Carla that stunk, so I thought: "Gabriel, watch it man, you're being lured in and you might bite" but I didn't listen to myself. My hard-on wasn't letting me think and instead pushed me to score.

  We had three drinks each, then she got wild and drank the diluted remains of Bogdan's drinks too. My balls were hurting at that time and the pain was going to my bowels, so it felt like I was shitting myself, do you know what I mean?

  We got up and I was about to pay when Carla, went forward and told the barman:

  - Miguel, love, put it on my tab, will you?- And winked at him while grabbing my arm.

  What was I to do? I'm a gentleman, I never say no to a lady, so I let her pay. We left the place and went straight to her car, I had left mine in the lab's parking lot. Oh, when I got up from the table I couldn't hide the thing anymore and Carla could not help laughing in my face when she noticed. I let her laugh, why would I deny her that, knowing her time was up...

  When we got to the street, I looked around just in case there were unwanted eyes on the shore, but Corcega street was empty and only a few drunks -as friday nights should be- were roaming the streets after partying like men and straight men in pubs like San Gabriel's.

  Arriving at the car I grabbed her from behind, softly, and pushed her into the metal, sticking my virile member in her beautiful ass while I licked behind her ears, biting her lobe and then sticking my tongue in, trying to get it through to the other ear. Carla sighed and pushed her ass back against my dick, bending as if waiting for penetration. My hands were all over her body, sliding my fingers over her tits, pinching her nipples softly until they were hard and then down to her hips and up again to her blonde mane.

  I didn't want to touch her groin yet, so as not to scare her, there would be time to investigate. I was expecting to find a small lump or mole out of place in that well proportioned and attractive body. Something like a microphone, but I didn't find one. I took her phone from her purse without her noticing and put it in my pocket. I spoke in her ear: "Darling, I forgot to empty the tank and I can't hold it anymore, wait for me in the car". She didn't stop me but she moaned in frustration for leaving her like that. So I went back to San Gabriel while she got in her car with enough heat to start the car without gasoline.

  The car was a blue mini with a white line going around the chassis and a drawing in the frontal hood of two guys ass-fucking with no remorse. It was excellently drawn. By the way, I don't know what it could have meant, but the guy who was getting it in the ass had a condom in his hand. Safe sex?

  I went straight for the toilets ignoring one of the patrons that followed me for a bit cat calling me. I did not let him get near me, "I have no time". I broke his teeth with one punch and nailed him to the wall. He lost consciousness, I think, before his head hit the wall.. I got him off of me and put him in a cubicle to the right. Then I took Carla's phone and dialed the last number she had called to. A few seconds later I heard a familiar voice:

  - Carla, what's wrong? Have you... - Mathias sounded nervous, I didn't need to hear the rest so I hanged up, saying nothing of course, I knew what I wanted to know. As I thought, Mathias was behind this. He didn't know how to get the upper hand and was now trying to slip one under me.

  I chose not to waste any more time and have Carla suspect something was wrong. I had no doubts now but, how did they know I wanted my next victim to be gay? I went to the emergency exit, I kicked a wall of boxes covering the way out into Corcega street. I crossed into the diagonal avenue y went around the block without missing one detail. I couldn't trust Mathias was anywhere but here, waiting for me to make one mistake and have me arrested. I saw nothing out of the ordinary in the way, so I headed for Carla's car. She was placidly listening to Pablo Alborada, lying in the co-pilot seat. As I closed the door, she smiled at me and said:

  - Damn handsome! That was a long piss you took.- And laughed.

  I did not comment, I just grabbed her crotch, hoping to find a surprise and, man, did I find one! Carla was shocked white about my daring and squealed in disgust.

  - Asshole! What are you doing?.

  She took my hand off of her and pulled down her dress, red with anger and losing her cool face because of my attitude. And a good attitude it was, otherwise I wouldn't have found what I found, making her bite her lips with rage.

  - So, what is that, doll? A present from the english cut?- I smiled sardonically.

  Carla stuck her hand under her dress, went straight for the hard package, pulling it out fast enough to catch me off guard.

  It was a small Smith&Wesson pistol. It was suddenly in her right hand and then up my nose. Meanwhile, she spoke and smiled:

  - Do you like it like this, honey?

  I didn't answer or showed fear, I just raised my hand and grabbed her unarmed limb and twisted it down into my hard-on while unzipping my pats with my other hand and pressed her free hand into my cock, hard as a baseball bat. Carla did not let me speak and dropped the gun to the car's floor.

  - Won't you rather play with this one, honey?- She didn't answer. She jumped and mounted me (how she did it in such a small space its beyond me, but who cares!) sliding my cock into her ass. Oh God, was that ass hungry!-I thought, amused.

  I didn't even see her take her panties off, did she have any? My cock must have been to her liking because she screamed and moved desperately. I could see her expression in the rearview mirror and she seemed to be having a blast. If anyone had been outside the car, looking in, he would have believed we were contortionists -so unbelievable was our ass fucking position. Unimaginable and unexplainable.

  So there we were, drenched in sweat, screaming and moaning as if we were filming a porno. It was beautiful, the way her deep and gorgeous ass swallowed my cock as if it was never going to come back out. And I liked it a lot! Carla was grabbing both my knees and digging her nails into them, like she was holding on fearful of falling, leaving bloody tracks on my legs. She was so good I felt electricity running through my body, which made my hands into claws as well, digging into her hips and thrusting like I wanted to get through her and come out of her mouth. The windows of the small car were damp and darkened, we could not see the street anymore. We didn't want to open them, avoiding any potential interruption of our beastly business.

  We were about to have a gigantic orgasm (at least I was), when Carla did something that left me... ¿? She took my cock from her ass, got on the wheel, started the car and drove off like a blind man. Can you i
magine my face at being with my dick out and without a happy smile?

  I didn't get much time to think about it, after a few blocks she got into an apartment building garage, she made me get out of the car using her tongue as a rope. she didn't need to, I was so into it I practically ran to her.

  We got to a little hall on the first floor with a couple of sofas and a four-piece couch that turned into a bed. It seemed to be trained, because as soon as the light was on, the thing sprung into bed mode! Carla didn't let me breathe, she jumped on me and threw me to the bed, I landed on my back, and she took my pants off in less time than it took to write about it.

  She put my dick in her mouth, and proceeded to give a lesson on cocksucking. Of course, she wanted satisfaction, so she turned and placed her pussy in my mouth so that I gave her pleasure too. I did and I enjoyed it immensely! As she took my dick in and out of her mouth the pleasure she made me feel made me suck her pussy in a way that she had to let go of me and yell like a bitch, so much was the pleasure I made her feel. The more she screamed the more I stuck my tongue in her pussy, slurping and licking her clit, occasionally biting it. My mouth was like a storm drain, fluids trickling down my chin and onto my chest like a river stream. We had an orgasm at the same time, she squirted as much as me and we both nearly drowned.

  I didn't want to wait anymore, seeing she was exhausted and relaxed in the bed, I kissed her softly in the mouth and asked where the kitchen was -I wanted to fix us something to drink- Carla pointed to a door between two others that I guessed were other rooms. I went to the kitchen, opened the fridge, took some ice from the freezer and then went to the sink and opened the faucet, letting the water run. I took a peek inside the hall, just in case Carla followed me but she was still lying down with her eyes closed - I was afraid she would go to sleep, which wasn't what I wanted at the time.

  I had other plans for her.

  I looked through the drawers, searching for a tool to fit my ends, and I found what I was looking for in the fourth one: a set of Chinese knives, the kind you can slice a can of beans as if it was a sausage. I grabbed a double tipped blade of about ten inches -I've never known what those are used for. It was suitable for what I was going to do. I made a couple of white vermouths (I couldn't find anything better) and placed both glasses in a kitchen tray covered with a red cloth. I hid the knife beside the glasses and under the cloth, barely concealed but appearing like a wrinkle in the fabric. Going back I saw Carla's eyes were half open and her breathing was normal again. She looked at me without seeing me. She didn't seemed to be there. Still, she used her elbows to half rise and gave me a strange smile. God, she was so desirable and sexy. I got hard as a horse again, I couldn't help it, I left the tray with the drinks on the bedside table and jumped on her. she received me with her legs open, her pussy well lubed and wet, taking me all in. I rode her like a wild pony, but without the whip.