Thresholds

by Kate Canterbary

  We didn't get enough time with Ellie. Her band's touring schedule was grueling, and these visits were few and far between. She'd originally planned to spend the holidays in England with her girlfriend, but things soured between them recently. I didn't know all the details but it was obvious Ellie was licking some wounds.

  I watched them talk for several minutes, still concealed in the darkened doorway, and couldn't help smiling to myself. Dave was making a holy racket but looked happier than when he had a spoonful of peanut butter all to himself. And my wife—there was never a time when I didn't enjoy staring at her.

  I was especially fond of staring at her while she debated which bras and corsets would do the most good for her cleavage. The short answer to that question was all of them.

  "I don't believe that," Ellie said, shock rippling through her voice. "Not you. Never you. Tell me this is a myth."

  That pulled me right out of my fantasies and away from the door.

  Tiel shrugged as she ran her hands over Dave's teddy bear. "We can't really take an infant with us."

  "Maybe not all the time, no," Ellie replied. "But you hire babysitters. You bargain with one of your seventeen in-laws. You get some noise-canceling headphones for the kiddo. You call in the cool aunt to help you. You don't pick out a pair of mom jeans, get your hair frosted, and pack your life before children away in the attic."

  "What are we talking about?" I sat down on the mat with them and held out my hands to Dave. He replied with a drooly squeal and excitedly beat his hands on the pot.

  "Nothing," Tiel murmured, shaking her head.

  "It's not nothing," Ellie hissed. "She said you two haven't been out since Dave was born."

  "That's not what I said." Tiel shot a pointed look at Ellie. "Don't start, El."

  "We go out all the time," I argued. "Sunday dinners at Matt and Lauren's loft. Our summer trip to Cape Cod. All those roof deck parties at Patrick and Andy's place. We visit with Shannon and Will, and their daughter, all the time."

  "Yeah, prepster," Ellie replied. "You have lots of outings with your child. That's not wrong. You are stellar parents. I'm not disputing any of that. I'm just saying you can't forget who were before Dave was born."

  "We haven't really wanted to go anywhere without him," Tiel argued. "Riley will watch him for a bit so we can sleep in or catch up on work. He'll take him to the park or out for a walk, and I can get in some practice time. Or a shower. That's all we need right now."

  I glanced at my wife, hoping her expression would explain the note of surrender in her voice, but she was focused on the teddy bear. Her thumbs passed over its ears and down its face, over and over, and in this moment, I wasn't certain I knew anything at all.

  "I've been here all week and I haven't seen Riley once," Ellie said. "When is all of this happening? Why can't he give you a night out"—she waved her hands at me and Tiel—"together?"

  "He's seeing someone," Tiel said. "He spends most of his time at her place now. It's kind of serious."

  When I walked through the door, I believed my wife was sexy and confident, and steeped in the satisfaction of having everything she could ever want. This was the woman who'd teased me within an inch of my life earlier today.

  But as she stroked the bear's dark blue ears, I realized she was missing something. We were missing something.

  We'd spent every minute of the months since Dave's birth—and many of the minutes before it, too—putting all of our collective energy into giving him the best of everything. We didn't have to announce that we were actively attempting to right the wrongs of our own childhoods, though there were countless moments when I picked up my son and spoke to him with love because I knew my father never did that to me.

  And still, we were missing something. We were missing each other. It was possible that we found each other this afternoon, and we needed to hold onto that.

  Ellie's gaze pinged between us as she shook her head. "I cannot believe what I'm hearing." She crouched down to Dave's eye level. "All right, little buddy. Here's what we're going to do. Auntie El is sending your mom and dad on a date," she said. "Can you believe they've been married for almost two years already? It was the most badass surprise and an epic party, and they need to have that kind of fun. D'you think they can manage that?"

  Dave let out a deep belly laugh as he thumped a spoon against the pot. I glanced at Tiel again, and found her staring at me. I shrugged, and she replied with a quick shrug of her own.

  "None of that," Ellie said, wagging a spoon at us. "You're going." She pointed the spoon at the staircase. "Go change into something cute. Going-out cute, not 'I teach third graders how to hold a violin' cute. Then you can tell me the seven thousand things you want to tell me about caring for your kid."

  * * *

  "Where…where should we go?" Tiel asked once we were settled into the car. "Every spot that comes to mind is relatively quiet and child-friendly, and I can't think of anywhere in the city that doesn't fit into those categories."

  It took her no time at all to change into a cute dress that was technically conservative—high neck, long sleeves, knee-length skirt—but destroyed me every time she wore it. While I drooled all over her, she snuggled Dave, gave Ellie some quick pointers, and jotted down my siblings' phone numbers. My brain was stalled on that dress, and hadn't caught up with this conversation.

  "Anywhere you want, Sunshine," I replied, still eyeing her curves.

  "Yeah—but—that's—I mean," she stammered. "I don't know."

  "Let me make this easy for you," I said. "Deuxave, L'Espalier, or Bondir. Your choice."

  She shook her head. "No, Sam, no. That's ridiculous. We don't need the posh restaurant scene when we can just as easily get tacos."

  "Not an option, " I said, leveling a stern gaze at her. "You need a night out and I need to spoil you. When was the last time you had a dirty martini? Or five?"

  She gestured toward her breasts. I had no problem dragging my eyes there. "I'll have to pump and dump when we get home."

  "That's okay," I said gently. "You have enough pumped milk in the fridge and freezer to give him a few bottles."

  She bit her lip and glanced back at the house. Dave was born small, and the doctors wanted to see him gain weight quickly. That meant feeding him twice as much as the average infant, and pumping between nursing sessions. He was fat and happy now, all chubby cheeks and baby rolls, but I knew Tiel carried a lot of anxiety about keeping him in fighting shape. She guarded that freezer stash like a state secret.

  "I'm taking you to Deuxave. If you hate it, you can spend the night tormenting me like you did earlier today," I said. "That will make it really easy for me to divest you of your clothes, shred your panties, and fuck you like I paid for it."

  "Are you still upset about this afternoon?" she asked.

  "Upset?" I repeated. I grabbed her hand and pressed it to my zipper. "Does this feel upset to you?"

  One side of her mouth tipped up in a smile, but she didn't respond.

  "Tell me what you're thinking," I ordered, rubbing the back of her hand as she stroked me. "What's going on in there?"

  "Do you want to do this? We don't have to. Really. I know you've had a busy week and—"

  "Yes, I definitely want to do this," I said, cutting her off. I released my hold on her wrist. She liked it when I forced her, just a bit, but she wasn't liking it now. "There's never a time when I don't want you all to myself. You have no idea how much I need my Tiel time."

  "I need Sam time," she said.

  "Then let's go," I said. "We'll see where the night takes us."

  We ended up having a simple, civilized dinner outing. We ate, we drank, we talked about our son. There was no suggestion of destroying panties or my dick in her mouth. She knew what I wanted. She was going to come to me when she was ready for it.

  "Why don't we go over to Sligo's?" I slipped my credit card back into my wallet and glanced across the table at Tiel. "Or the Middle East. I'm sure there's something inte
resting going on there."

  She narrowed her eyes. "Why would you want to do that? They don't even dice the cucumbers for you at Sligo's."

  "Why not?" I asked. "We're out. We have a reliable babysitter. Neither of us have to work tomorrow. Cucumbers aside, why shouldn't we?"

  It looked as though Tiel intended to refute my claims, but then she pursed her lips, nodded to herself, and said, "Let's do it."

  We stopped at a number of our old haunts, venues we hadn't visited since before Dave was born, but this wasn't a great night for live music. Either it was the fiercely cold weather or the proximity to the holidays keeping folks away, or we just didn't know the best spots anymore. Eventually, we ended up at the bar we'd visited after that scorching day spent in a stalled elevator.

  "A lot has changed since I came here the first time," I said over the rim of my drink, "with you."

  "I haven't thought about that night in ages but I remember it like it was yesterday," Tiel said, awe ringing in her words. "It was so bizarre. Everything about it, totally bizarre."

  "I wanted you that night," I confessed.

  "You wanted to fuck me," she said, lifting her glass to her lips. "Big difference."

  "Yeah, I wanted to fuck you," I said, laughing.

  "You wanted to fuck everyone." She took a sip of her drink, her eyebrow arched in challenge just as it had been years ago.

  "Not after that night," I said. "Not once." Tiel glanced away, a slight grin tugging at her lips. I liked that. I wanted her to have all the victories and possessiveness in the world. I wanted her to feel like she'd won something special with me because that was how I felt about her. "I want you tonight, too."

  "Yeah," she murmured, her body swaying with the pulsing music. "You mentioned something about that earlier."

  I plucked her drink from her fingertips and set it down. Then I leaned into her, pressing her back against the bar and dragging my knuckles along the line of her neck. "I spent the afternoon counting down the minutes until I could get you alone again," I whispered against her skin. "I'd been hoping Ellie would want some time with the baby tonight because, after that stunt in the lingerie shop, I've been dying to get my hands on you."

  "What stunt?" she asked, her brows quirking up as she reached under my suit coat and settled her hands on my waist. "I don't remember any stunts."

  "No?" I asked as my lips met the tender skin near her ear. "How would you describe this afternoon's events?"

  "I believe we bumped into each other while running errands," she said, a pulse of faux-indignation heavy in her words. "You invited yourself over, selected some unmentionables for me, and requested that I try them on. Then, you articulated the ways you'd ruin each item. It was exceptionally rude."

  "So rude," I agreed, taking her earlobe between my teeth. "But you were looking at naughty lingerie, my wife, and you wouldn't let me touch you. Can you blame me?"

  She shook her head and ran her hands up my back. "I've never blamed you for being rude," she said. "But I will have a problem if you don't help me find a storage room or broom closet right now."

  * * *

  "Maybe we should just go home," Tiel said.

  She was gnawing on her bottom lip and staring at the road ahead with doubtful eyes.

  "We're not going home," I snapped. "We're finding somewhere semi-private to get you naked and on my cock, and that's the end of it."

  "But we can do that at home," she argued. "That would save us time, actually. It doesn't make sense to keep popping into different bars at the off chance they'll have a dark corner available."

  "I've never known you to choose the path of convention," I replied.

  "It's like we're on sex pub crawl," she said. From the sound of it, she wasn't nearly as enthusiastic about this adventure as she was two hours ago. Admittedly, I was tired and frustrated but I was committed. "A wild sex goose chase. And for what? To remind ourselves we still know how to have a good time?" She turned, giving me an oh please glare. "I can have a good time. Don't you doubt that. Just because I'm a mom now doesn't mean I'm not fun. I am tons of fun."

  I drummed my fingers against the steering wheel. It was all I could do because laughing was the wrong reaction. I knew that much.

  "Just pull over," she ordered, gesturing to the side of the road. We were in the middle of Cambridge, and as if street parking wasn't a big enough issue here, the sidewalks were packed with people heading home from bars and clubs. "We'll do it here. In the car."

  "We'll do what in the car?"

  "Sex," she replied as if it was completely obvious. "We'll have sex. Right here. This is fine. Just pull over."

  "Yeah, that's not going to happen." I shook my head. "You're fun, you're sexy, you're fucking amazing. You're a wicked tease, too. Being those things doesn't require you to also get arrested for public indecency or lewd and lascivious behavior."

  "But I love it when you're lewd," she purred. "Lascivious, too."

  I came to a stop at a red light and glanced at my wife. Her smile was wide and bright, her eyes shining with excitement. "This rebellious streak of yours," I mused, tucking her hair over her ear.

  She edged her skirt up, teasing it higher on her thighs. "What about it?"

  A montage of options passed through my mind until I felt her rebelliousness pulling me under, wrapping around me, throwing off the bow lines of comfort and civility.

  "You're sure about this?" I dropped my hand onto her stocking-clad thigh. "About me taking you in the car? Where anyone could walk by and see you begging for it?"

  The light turned green.

  "I'm sure."

  With a single nod, I drove through the intersection. It only required a few turns to leave the glare of street lights and the roar of nightlife crowds behind. In that time, my hand made its way up her thigh and between her legs. She pretended she was unaffected by my touch but the subtle rock of her hips said otherwise.

  I drove down a dark lane and into the last driveway. Tiel tilted her head to get a look at the house. "What are we doing?" she asked. "Where are we?"

  "The Federal restoration," I said simply. "The one I started working on last month." I clicked the headlights off. "Quiet neighborhood, vacant property. Still suitably public to meet your demands for fun and lewd, but I don't have to worry about drunk kids from MIT watching you ride my cock. I have my kinks, Sunshine, but that isn't one of them."

  She leaned back, eyeing me up and down. "I got pretty lucky with you."

  "Trust me. I'm the lucky one here." I tipped my chin toward the back seat. "Shall we?"

  Tiel unbuckled her seat belt and threw off her scarf. "Meet you there."

  We scrambled into the back, shucking coats and kicking off shoes as we went. We lunged for each other when we landed on the bench. It was uncoordinated, messy, nearly violent. I yanked her dress up while she whipped my belt from the loops, and then we worked together to get my trousers down just enough to access the essentials. It was too damn cold for full nudity, and we didn't have time for that either.

  "Hurry, hurry, hurry," she whispered, straddling my lap.

  I tapped the back of her legs, silently ordering her to rise up on her knees, and pinched the fine fabric of her stockings. I pulled until it gave way, a shrill sound echoing between us as it ripped. She sucked in a breath while I shredded the crotch.

  "I was going to take them off," she said, completely straight-faced. "These are cool tights. Expensive, too. That was unnecessary, Sam."

  With my palm between her legs, I rocked the heel against her mound. I grinned at the shuddering gasp she released, and the way she leaned into my touch. "I'll buy you many replacement pairs," I said, curling my fingers around the last scrap of fabric between me and her pussy. "Panties, too."

  "What? Don't tear my—"

  "What did you say, Sunshine? I didn't catch that." Just like that, all barriers were gone and my fingers were inside her. "I've been itching to do that all damn day."

  She stared straight into my eyes
. "You are such a beast," she whispered. "I still don't know why I like it."

  "Not everything requires psychoanalysis." I slipped my fingers over her clit, painting it with her arousal, and nodded between us. "Get on my cock."

  She took my shaft in hand, stroking with more patience and tenderness than I thought I could manage after two hours on the edge. No. No, I couldn't bear this. I needed rough and fast, like everything I'd imagined since walking out of that dressing room.

  As she dragged me over her folds and my hands shifted to squeeze her ass, my head lolled back, torn between bliss and agony.

  "Don't tease me, Tiel," I growled.

  "Not teasing," she whispered, sinking down slowly. She hummed as she took me all the way to the root. I dug my fingers into her ass and forced her closer as she rocked against me like a dream. "Savoring the moment."

  I thought I'd be able to do this. That I could let her set the pace, take what she needed. I couldn't. I thrust hard, forcing a startled cry from her lips. "Savor this, Sunshine."

  There were going to be fingertip bruises on her backside tomorrow, of that I was certain. I was clinging to her, carving tiny notches into that supple flesh as I surged up into her body, hunting for any shred of her that I hadn't yet claimed. I pumped into her hard, harder when her lips landed on my neck and her teeth nipped at my skin.

  This kind of sex didn't require conservation. It was going to be quick and rough. And awkward, with limbs and joints in all the wrong places. But it was going to shake the fucking earth. It was the kind of transcendental sex that I remembered vividly if not for its technique then for its meaning. This night and the day-long tease meant something, even if I didn't know what that was right now. And it didn't need running commentary on the incredible heat and wet of her pussy, or the relative hardness of my dick, or the furious need we had for each other. All of that was subtext.

  It was enough to feel this, every second of it, because we needed that most of all.

  "I can't hold out much longer," I said through a groan. "I need you there."