by J Bree
When we get to the girls’ dorms I feel every single set of eyes in the hallway follow me from where I’m wedged between Ash and Harley. Annabelle takes two steps towards us before Ash shuts her down with a single look. She hovers just outside her room and watches Harley pass with devastated eyes. He doesn’t spare her so much as a glance. Mentally, I flip her the bird like a smug-ass bitch. How much does his lack of trust fund matter now, you gold digging bitch?
Avery unlocks the door and I get deposited gently on my bed. I’m too busy easing my shoes and socks off my aching leg, wincing and trying not to whimper pathetically, to realize an argument is starting around me. I only take notice when Harley’s temper erupts and he yells, “Fuck you, Morrison! You and Ash are as bad as each other.”
My head snaps up to see Avery standing in the middle of all three guys. Harley has his back to me but Blaise is flushed and glaring, and while Ash’s face looks blank, his fists are clenched and his shoulders are rigid.
Avery glares at Harley and then pokes him on his heaving chest with a finger. “Calm the hell down. I'm not having you break my room because you're in a mood.”
Harley doesn't register her words, he just widens his stance and stares down his two best friends like they’re going to be brawling in under a minute.
Jesus fuck.
Clearly, I've missed something vital.
Avery thinks so, too.
“One of you idiots had better start explaining what the fuck is going on. Now. I've never seen you fight like this before!”
No one moves or says a word. Then, the three guys all turn and look at me.
Oh. They don't want an audience for this and clearly they still don't trust me. It's stings, it fucking stings a whole lot because I think I've proven myself to each of them a hundred times over this year, but I try not to show it. I slide off my bed and mumble something about having a shower to give them some privacy.
When Blaise takes a step towards me to help me as I hobble past them pathetically Harley honest-to-fucking-God growls at him and Avery steps up to take my arm.
“I need a fucking drink after this,” she murmurs to me as she ferries me into the bathroom.
I take as long as I possibly can to shower, dress, and dry my hair. I brush my teeth. Floss them meticulously. I even pluck a few stray eyebrow hairs just to ensure they've finished their little chat.
I take a deep breath and exit the bathroom. Harley and Ash are already eating the Seafood Carbonara Avery has made. Blaise is doing dishes and Avery is standing at the bench grinning at me like a maniac. Like the Joker and the Cheshire Cat had a secret love child and named her Avery fucking Beaumont.
“Why are you so happy? Did Annabelle choke on a dick or something?” I ask and she gives me her best witchy cackle.
“Better. So much better. We’ll talk tomorrow, just eat some dinner and rest your leg for now.”
“We could talk about it now,“ Harley grumbles into his plate but Avery’s crazy grin shifts into a glare.
“Eat your damn pasta, Arbour.”
I give her a puzzled look and grab a plate. Avery helps me sit on the couch and then tries to talk me into taking some of the other pain pills her private and, I believe, shady doctor gave her. I refuse and try to focus on the TV instead of the tension in the room.
It's a weird night.
Chapter Thirty
The next morning I’m in the shower before classes when I hear a knock and Avery’s head pokes in the room.
“Can I come in? I need to pee.”
I nod and she shuts and locks the door behind her. She doesn’t move to the toilet, instead she props herself up against the counter and gives me a smug-as-fuck look. I raise my eyebrows at her as I wash my hair out. I love the smell of this shampoo and I close my eyes as I take in deep lungfuls of it. I never want to know how much Avery spends on it.
“The boys are here for you. All three of them. They want to walk you down to breakfast,” she whispers and I startle out of my daydreaming, looking over at her quickly. She grins and wiggles her eyebrows at me. Sweet Lord. I move a bit faster as I wash out my hair. I don’t know if I can take much more of their arguing and strange behavior.
“Are you going to tell me what the hell was going on yesterday?”
The next-level, maniacal grin is back on her face. “They were bickering over your performance. Then Ash pulled you into his arms to get you back up here and all hell broke loose. Harley lost it, he already wants to kill Blaise because he’s got his eye on you. Even more so because you look at him like he’s dinner and you’re starving. Now he has to contend with Ash too and he snapped.”
I shut the water off and try to process what Avery is saying. Blaise has his eye on me? Harley is pissed? What the damned hell?! I grab a towel and step out of the stall. I can’t find any words, but Avery doesn’t seem to need my input.
“It’s killing Harley that you look at Blaise like that. I think at this point he would give up his entire inheritance all over again to get you to look at him with those eyes instead. They we’re about to throw down last night and I told them I would speak to you. I didn’t want our room being destroyed when you picked which one you want. This way you can text them or something and they can throw their pity party elsewhere and my good china will be safe.”
I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. I’m a little lightheaded and woozy. This is too much. I can’t exist like this. There’s still a week left before we leave Hannaford for the summer break and I’ll have to lock myself in our room until then. It occurs to me that I’ve spent the entire time I’ve been at Hannaford lusting after these guys, hating any girl I’ve spotted them with, and now I apparently have their attention I want to crawl under my covers and die. I’m not equipped for casual hookups, even without the Jackal looming over me, and I know for a fact they don’t do commitment. I am not the girl for them.
I need to call in reinforcements.
“Can you—can you do something for me?”
Avery’s answer is instant and whispered.
“Of course. Anything.”
I smile. I know she means it, too. That’s how this friendship thing works. Ride or die. “I need you to talk to them. All three of them. And, like, make it so they won’t give me shit about what I’m about to say because I have no fucking idea how to say this to any of them without pissing them off and starting a whole new war.”
“Easy. Done,” she says and the little lines between her eyebrows appear, the ones that mean she’s in cleanup mode. Good luck cleaning this up, I want to say but I manage to reel myself in.
“Right. I had to desensitize myself from Harley. I had to spend weeks looking at abstract parts of him until I could look at him front on, in the face, without passing out.”
I’m blushing so hard I think the whole room is heating up from it. Avery is clearly trying her best not to dissolve into a fit of laughter and God do I love her for it. She even manages to smother her snort into a polite cough.
“I almost had the same problem with Ash but he has always distracted me with his attitude so I can forget how… yeah. I’m still having a hard time with Blaise because I spent so long before I met him being obsessed with his songs. I used to listen to him all the time to escape from the group home and everything with the Twelve. It means that he’s tied up with that whole part of my life and I can’t look at him without feeling… safe. So please explain that to them all so they don’t think I’m some crazed psycho fan and just let them know I’m dealing with it. I want to be their friend and not look at him like he’s…dinner. I don’t want to ruin their friendships or ours just for a quick fuck.”
Avery gives me this look, with her brows arched up and her eyes squinted up a little, like she’s trying to figure out just how dense I am. I try not to squirm.
“You know all three of them are bordering on obsessed with you, right? Ash is freaking the hell out because he can’t figure out when his loathing of you turned into admiration, affection, and
lust. Blaise damn near died when he heard you sing because he’d been trying to put you in the little ‘do-not-touch’ box in his head because of Harley and then your voice burnt the box right down to the ground and, well, we all know how Harley feels. This is not about sex. Well, I’m sure they would be very interested in having sex with you but it’s more than that.”
Panic rises in my chest, bubbling and frothing until I think I might choke on it. My voice comes out thready as I say, “No, I didn’t know. I know nothing. This is all very new information for me.”
“Jesus H. Christ, Lips. I thought you were refusing to start anything with any of them because you were pissed about last year and wanted to string them along a bit. I was kind of assuming the hot/cold thing you have with them all was foreplay!”
I crumble onto the floor in a heap, oblivious to the fact I am only half wrapped in a towel and I am probably showing off a whole heap of skin to Avery. She sighs and cracks the door open an inch. I blush again, remembering that all three of the guys are waiting in our room for us to come out. I take a deep breath and try not to expire right there on the floor. They can’t see me with Avery’s body blocking me. Can I look them in the eye after this? God, this is worse than fighting my way through the Game. Give me a target to take out and I’m golden, give me three guys who like me and I’m dying inside. What the hell am I going to do?
“We’ll meet you guys down at the dining hall…no, we’re fine… Ash, I have cramps and I need a minute to get myself together and I’d rather not have you lot out there listening to me change out tampons… well, if you listened to me the first time I wouldn’t have to supply you with the details… no, Lips is still getting dressed… we’re girls, she isn’t worried about my period, she has her own to deal with. Bye!”
She closes the door and smirks at me.
“You’ve clearly scarred your brother for life,” I choke out but I’m smiling, her joy is infectious.
“I had to go to great lengths to get them the hell out. Harley did not flinch, by the way, he was totally prepared to deal with a blood-soaked Armageddon to stay here and walk you down. The other two manhandled him out.”
I flip onto my back and groan. Avery finally breaks and laughs hysterically. When she finally calms down, wiping tears from her cheeks, she pegs me with a look though it’s a gentle one.
“We’ve never actually talked about this so I’m requesting this as your truth for the day. Are you a virgin?”
I groan. “As if you can’t tell from my absolute meltdown. Yes, I am. I’m attracted to guys but I’ve always stayed the hell away from them. The risks with the Jackal were just too much to even try to get my head around it.”
Avery hands me my underwear and then she fluffs her hair and checks her makeup while I dress.
“I am too. I’ve always wanted a boy who loves me like the boys do and Rory was the first guy I thought came close. And, well, you know what happened with Atticus. Clearly I’m terrible at judging a man’s character.”
I blow out a breath and button my blouse. White-hot rage courses through me every time the name Rory comes out of Avery’s mouth.
“Don’t beat yourself up. I thought he was obsessed with you too. I just didn’t realize he saw you as an object rather than a person.”
She shrugs and gives me a sad smile in the mirror. “We can’t fix my love life so let’s sort yours out. Which one do you like the best? No judgment.”
I stop and sit on the closed toilet seat. Which one? Fuck. I think about Ash’s face when we did CPR on that kid last year. I think about Blaise’s staunch defense when Devon cornered me in the boys’ locker room. I think about Harley’s eyes when he watched me break Harlow’s nose. My body is taken over by a shiver.
“I don’t know. I like them all.”
Avery pauses then a slow smile spreads across her face as she scoots my shoes towards me. She’s basically dressing me, helping me through my breakdown. “I can work with that. I did tell those guys the only way they would ever have a relationship that worked is if were with the same girl.”
A hot wave of lust throbs through my body even as I gasp and sputter at her. “The same girl? You think they’ll all want to date me together? Avery!”
She cackles and shoves open the bathroom door. I hesitantly peek out to make sure the room is in fact empty.
“They love each other too much to truly let this come between them. But I also think they all might like you too much to let you go. I’ve never seen them fight over a girl before and the bickering that happens when you’re not around is getting extreme.”
I blanch. How would that even work? I’m a virgin and not exactly ready for a gang bang! Holy fucking shit. Avery pulls out her phone and starts tapping out a text. I wring my hands for a minute until she notices and gives me a smirk.
“I can see you melting down over this. Don’t panic. I’m just saying Harley has never wanted to date someone. Ever. Blaise burned the dating bridge years ago after something happened. Ash… doesn’t ever let people in. That’s the real reason he pushed back about us being friends and now he can’t stand the idea of going home at the end of the week and not seeing you for summer break. He’s already bugging me about finding a way to escape from Joey and stay with you and Harley in the Bay. Just trust that we can work something out that makes everyone happy.”
“What about you? Wouldn’t it be weird to have all of us together like that?” I tuck my arm into hers as we start down the hall towards breakfast.
“Not really. It actually makes my life easier. I trust you. I trust you with my brother. I trust you with Harley and Blaise. I’m not worried about you stabbing us all in the back. This is the best idea I’ve ever had.”
We arrive at the dining hall to find it very nearly empty. With the stress of exams at an all time high most students just didn’t care about coming down and eating a formal breakfast so the boys were only joined by a small handful of freshmen, so terrified of them that they’re sitting at the opposite end of the table. My stomach roils at the sight of them.
“Breathe kid,” Avery says with a smile as she squeezes my arm that’s tucked in close to her own.
I don’t look over at the table because I’m barely keeping my aching leg in line as it is, I can’t afford to go weak at the knees. Avery grabs a tray but I doubt I’ll be able to eat while I’m thinking about my potential polyandrous relationship. Or the ramifications of said relationship if the Jackal finds out. Sweet lord. I grab a glass of juice and an apple and ignore Avery’s sharp look.
“You’re skin and bones as it is. I’m getting you some French toast.”
I do love the French toast they serve here. I give her a tiny nod and she directs me to the table. I can feel all three of the boys watching us and I want to scream. Avery must feel my arm tense and she drops her tray with more force than necessary and their attention snaps away from me. She sits and arches an eyebrow at them while she sets out our food.
“Don’t start. Lips can’t eat when she’s stressed.”
Great. Now I feel pathetic. I cringe and nudge the plate away from me.
“If Harley is bothering you—“
Avery cuts Blaise off. “I said, don’t start.” she hisses. I glance up just in time to see Harley elbow Blaise in the stomach while Ash watches me intently.
“I’m never going to eat again. Goodbye boobs, it was nice having you,” I mutter and Avery cackles.
“That will shut them up! The boobs are in danger.”
Harley snorts and shoves the French toast back at me. “Save the boobs, Mounty.”
I flush and start eating while they all laugh around me. I refuse to look up from my plate. By not meeting any of their eyes my stomach settles enough that I can begin to eat.
“So! Plans for summer break?” Avery says brightly and is met with a chorus of groans.
“I’m getting dragged to New York by my father to see what’s new with the Kora branch there. I’m looking forward to exactly none of it and
I’m pissed off I won’t be touring,” says Blaise and he pours me another glass of juice. I manage to thank him without stuttering and I’m so damn proud of myself.
Harley scratches the back of his head and chips in, “Two weeks on the coast to see my mom. Then Mounts Bay.” He says it like a promise. The other two give him a look and I glance away from them all.
“We’ll be going to Amsterdam to celebrate Joey’s graduation. He chose the city and Father agreed because he’ll want to spend some time in the red light district I imagine. Hopefully he catches something terminal. Or at the very least something that makes his dick rot and fall off. Lips?” says Ash.
I snort at his optimism. I push my now empty plate aside and wipe my mouth with one of the linen napkins Hannaford supplies, like this is a fancy restaurant not a high school dining hall. Harley is watching me with his usual intensity but now I see it for what it is. He likes me. Sweet lord.
“I have a couple of jobs lined up. Oh, and some Club events to go to,” I say mildly. Avery watches me with interest but she doesn’t question me. I know she’s waiting to see just how much I’m willing to say in front of the boys. “I have some…plans in the pipeline that I’m working on. Lots of groundwork and carefully thought out moves.”
Avery hums and pulls out her phone like I’ve reminded her of her own plans. I’m hit in the chest at how much I’m going to miss talking to her over the break. Texting just isn’t the same and I’ve gotten used to bouncing ideas off of her. It sucks.
Ash clears his throat and he asks, tentatively, “You’re going back to the Jackal, then?”
All or nothing. If I’m not honest with them about this then I can’t date… any of them. They have to know the real risks. I glance around but we’re still alone. “No, I’m not going back to him. Do you guys know what the Club is? Who the Twelve are?”
Only Blaise looks unsure. “They’re like gang leaders, right?”
I wince. Not a good start. “Not quite. Some are, the Jackal included. He deals drugs, runs firearms, dabbles in extortion when the payoff is high enough. But really, each member of the Twelve have their own set of skills and they build on that.” They all nod along and I give myself one last inhale before I blurt it out.