by J Bree
“I was thirteen when the Hawk died and a spot opened up in the Twelve. They ran the Game, which should really have it’s name changed to ‘brutal torture sessions’. The Jackal sponsored me. I went up against thirty men and I won.”
Avery’s hand slips into mine and she squeezes, lending her support even though she doesn’t look up from her phone. I try not to hold my breath as I wait. It takes a second and then they all speak at once.
“You won?”
“Thirty men?”
“What the fuck?!”
Avery scoffs at them all and looks up from the screen. “All hail the Wolf of Mounts Bay.”
“The Wolf?!” sputters Harley. Oh, crap. He’s heard about me. His eyes roam all over my face and my arms then he ducks down and looks under the table at my legs. Avery kicks him in the shin sharply. “We’re wearing skirts, idiot!”
He doesn’t look fazed as he faces me again, my cheeks on fire, and says, “You took out one of my distant cousins in the Game. His dad was fucking livid and went after you with a blowtorch.”
Avery’s hand does a sort of spasm in mine. She’s seen that particular scar a few times though I’ve never told her how I got it. It’s the one I had to show Darcy to prove Lance was lying about fucking me.
“Yeah. Sorry about that.”
Harley stares at me for another second and then tips his head back to roar with laughter. “I can’t believe we were all worried about Joey killing you. If only he knew everything you’ve done. Why didn’t you just sneak into his room and slit his throat while he slept?”
I want the ground to open up and swallow me. He knows. He knows exactly what skill set I have that is so highly sought after. I feel dizzy. Maybe I’m not ready for the two separate lives I live to merge. Fuck.
“Shut up, asshole, you’re freaking her out,” growls Blaise. He growls it, just like he growls into his microphone on the stage but I’m too anxious to enjoy the sound of it. I fix my gaze on my cutlery, still sticky with the syrup from my breakfast, until the pounding in my ears stops.
I take a deep breath before I look back up at them. I know I’m going to see disgust and fear and even hatred on their faces. How could anyone hear about what I’ve done without thinking about just how dirty my hands are? All this time the guys had all been talking about how much of a sociopath Joey is but the truth is…
The truth is my hands are bloodier than his.
Harley looks gutted, all the amusement wiped clean from his face. Blaise looks pissed. Ash is, well, he’s got his cold detached mask fixed carefully over his features.
“I’m at Hannaford to get as far away from that life as I can. I wasn’t a willing participant. I had two choices: play the Game or die at the Jackal’s hands. Everything I’ve done has been to keep myself alive.”
“I didn’t mean—“ Harley says but Avery cuts him off.
“Lips, you should head to class. I’ll meet you there, I need to have a chat with the guys.”
I nod and stoop down to grab my bag. I can hear them start to bicker and pointedly don’t look back as I hobble out of the dining hall.
I was so close to having something I really want and once again my past has ruined it for me.
Chapter Thirty-One
My leg gives out halfway to my first class and I’m forced to grit my teeth and hobble back to my room. When the pain of my leg hits I can always feel exactly where the pins are holding the bones together. It’s like they’re pulsing under my skin and muscles, and I get queasy if I think about it too much. I shoot Avery a quick text to let her know where I am then climb back into the shower to try and ease some of the pain in my aching bones with the scalding water.
It takes me ten minutes to get dry and dressed while hopping on one leg and I’m in so much pain I finally cave and take some of the pain medication Avery found for me.
As predicted, the second they kick in I’m high as a kite.
The benefits of having a low drug tolerance is I am no longer worried about the guys’ reaction over breakfast. My brain is soup and I’m giggling over nothing for hours, rolling around on my bed and just cackling to myself. I can kind of see why my mom was so hell bent in staying in this state of euphoria. The sheets feel amazing on my bare skin.
There’s a knock at the door sometime later but I can’t make my legs work to get up and answer it. I’m not sure I even manage to call out but the person stomps away and leaves me to my delirium.
Then there’s the sound of keys and only Avery has those so I leave my eyes shut and keep stroking the soft sheets on my bed. Avery bought me these sheets. She’s so nice. I think about telling her that.
“You’re not thinking anything, you’re speaking. How fucking high are you?”
My eyes pop open. That’s not Avery’s voice.
“No shit. She’s still got exams so I came up to check that you’re okay. She told me to force the pills down your throat but it looks like you’ve got that under control.”
Nope. I squeeze my eyes shut again. I cannot have Blaise in this room while I’m off my tits. Bad idea. I can’t have him around until I’m back… on my tits. Or whatever the opposite of this is.
“Stop saying tits. Look, I can’t leave you here like this. Fuck knows what you could end up doing to yourself. Stop stroking the sheets, it’s… kinda hot and I’m feeling like a perv watching you. Just get in the bed. In, Lips. Get in bed. Fucking hell, here.”
His hands touch me as he guides me under the sheets and I shiver. I clamp my mouth shut, I even slap a hand over it for good measure, and then, Lord help me, his breath tickles the nape of my neck as he huffs out a laugh. The bed dips as the blankets are pulled up around my chin.
I open my eyes and find Blaise sitting with his back against my headboard, his legs stretched out and pressed against me, with his phone out and a smirk on his face. He’s on top on the blankets so I’m trapped. He’s not wearing his uniform, he has an old Vanth shirt on that I would steal from him in a heartbeat and some sweatpants that look like regular ones but probably cost more than a months rent in LA. He hits the dial button and then he’s talking too loud and way too smug.
“Have you ever seen Lips high before? It’s adorable…she’s fine but I’m not leaving her… she’s in bed…I’ve finished my exams, I’ll email the rest of my classes for the day and tell them I have a migraine or whatever… I swear to you, she’s fine, she’s just off her tits. Her words, not mine… okay, bye.”
He tosses his phone onto my nightstand and then shuffles down until his head is on my pillow and he turns to lay on his side, facing me. When I turn my head to look at him we’re so close that the back of my hand, still clamped tightly over my mouth, brushes against his lips. I feel him smile and I snatch my hand away quickly.
I will not leave this room with my dignity intact.
“What’s wrong, little Nightingale?” Blaise murmurs and his hand brushes my hair away from my face. I think my cheeks would be on fire if I wasn’t so out of it. My eyes roam over his face in a way I’ve never let myself before. I take in his jawline, the dusting of light freckles over his nose I’ve never noticed before, the eerie clear depths of his eyes.
“This is going to go very badly and then you’re never going to speak to me again. After all my work this year to get you guys to trust me and now I’ve fucked it.” It takes a ton of focus to get the words out and my voice is still all weird and floaty. Floaty is a strange word.
“Right, it is a strange word but let’s stay on topic.” Shit, I’m saying stuff without realizing it again. “Yes, you are. You haven’t fucked anything. Harley wasn’t pissed this morning, he was impressed. Then he was awkward and embarrassed because he upset you.”
Huh.
I try to file that away in my brain for later but I think I’ve lost the filing cabinet. I think the office is closed for maintenance. I hope they repaint.
“Fuck, we need to get you stoned. I need to see you on THC.”
Nope. Whiskey or nothing.
Vodka in emergencies. Possibly tequila but sometimes I get mouthy and fight…-y on tequila.
“Duly noted. Your phone keeps buzzing. Want me to get it?”
I nod and then when Blaise leans away from me I take a second to try and breathe while he’s out of my space. When he comes back I still feel like there’s not enough oxygen in my blood. Or my damn brain.
He hands me my phone but I can’t get my eyes to focus, they just dance away from the screen and back onto the little dip in the middle of Blaise’s clavicle. It’s a nice dip.
“Here. It’s from Matteo, who’s that? He says he can’t wait to see you tomorrow. He calls you Starbright, what the hell does that mean?”
I struggle to sit up out of my cocoon and Blaise has to prop me up. I think whatever my face is doing worries him enough to help me out. I grab his biceps and give him a little shake. “Don’t ever tell anyone. That’s the Jackal. He’s bad. You can’t tell anyone his name. He wants me to go to see him but I’m going to put him off. I don’t like him and I definitely don’t want to fuck him.”
I’m shockingly coherent for a second. Blaise nods and runs his hand up and down my spine, soothing me like I’m a skittish toddler. Well, I guess I am at the moment. Sweet Lord, I am never taking any medication from Avery again. I take a deep breath and focus myself for another moment.
“Most importantly, don’t ever tell anyone my middle name is Starbright.”
I watch the acrobatics his eyebrows and mouth go through as he struggles to stop himself from laughing at me. I’m too fucked to appreciate it fully. When his stunning green eyes finally meet my own he speaks with such sincerity that I know he means every word.
“I will take your secret to the grave, Mounty.”
I wake up slowly, hazy and disorientated.
The room is dark, illuminated only by the dancing colored lights from the TV. I’m not lying straight on the bed how I fell asleep, my back is curved and my pillow is pressed into my spine. There’s a weight over my hips holding me still. I wriggle a little and I hear a groan behind me.
“For the love of god, Mounty, don’t move like that. Avery has already threatened to castrate me twice tonight,” whispers Harley and I struggle to sit up with a gasp.
My lower half is draped over his lap, legs bare and my ass barely covered in my teeny pajama shorts. My upper half, Jesus fucking Christ, is tucked in Blaise’s lap. He grins down at me and I notice his hands are tangled in my hair, like he’s been playing with it while I slept.
I scoot off of them both and my ass lands between them.
“What the—“
“Chill. You were thrashing about in your sleep and it took all three of us to settle you back down,” Avery chips in from the kitchen where she’s brewing her usual cup of chamomile tea. She’s wiping down every surface as she goes with a calm hand and that relaxes something in my chest.
I refuse to look at either of the guys as I wriggle back to sit between them against the headboard. Blaise huffs a laugh at me and I blush. “You must be feeling better, there’s color on your cheeks again.”
The flush on my cheeks gets worse and I clear my throat. “Thank you for checking on me. And letting me word vomit for hours on end. Please leave me to die of shame with what little dignity I have left.”
Harley scoffs and pulls out his phone, bringing up a video and handing it over to me. There I am, sitting on Blaise’s lap, giggling like a mad woman and stroking his chest like I had spent hours doing to the sheets. I can see he’s filming us both and with the smug look on his face it’s clear he sent this to Harley to piss him off.
I elbow him but it’s like elbowing a freaking wall.
“Hey, they asked me why I called you adorable. I figured a video was better than any explanation I could come up with.”
“I am never taking those pills again. I’ll white knuckle it through the pain next time,” I declare and they all, Avery included, laugh their asses off at me. I can’t remember much from the day. I know Blaise has been here the longest but my brain feels like it’s full of fog when I try to think about what happened. Not great.
There’s a knock at the door and Avery opens it to find Ash standing there in his track uniform and a gym bag slung over his shoulder. Sweaty, flushed, and utterly delectable. I’m sandwiched between two insanely hot guys and I’m still managing to drool over a third. What the hell is wrong with me?
“Mr. Embley is a demon. I’m not doing track next year, fuck him and his shitty attitude,” he sulks as he strides in. Avery scrunches her nose up at him and shoves him towards the bathroom.
“Go shower, you’re not sleeping here covered in sweat.”
I mean, I’d let him sleep in my bed covered in sweat except there is literally no room left with the other two lounging on it.
It’s then that I remember my conversation with Blaise. We’d been in the bathroom after my leg had given out on my way to the toilet. For a single horrifying second I can’t remember if he was there while I peed but then the memory clears. He stepped out and waited for me to yell for him. Sweet merciful lord, this is bad.
He’d held me up while I washed my hands and told me about how they decided to share me. They sat at the freaking dining hall table and came to an agreement to share me. All of the blood in my head drains out and I feel floaty all over again.
I scramble onto my hands and knees again and slide straight off the bed, wincing as my leg protests. I don’t look back to see the guys reactions and Avery giggles at me as I tug her into the closet by the sleeve of her Chanel robe.
“What happened to discreet?” I croak and she gives me a side-eye.
“I was discreet. Then they decided to woo you as a group and as a result we’re having to deal with them all here at once. Now that you’re awake and Ash is here we’re going to watch some bullshit thriller movie Blaise insists on and then they’ll sleep here.”
Woo me? Christ. I do not like the look on Avery’s face at all. It’s glee mixed with her usual dose of evil and I’m really getting worried that she’s about to throw me under the bus. Not anything mean or dangerous, just embarrass the utter crap out of me for her own sick pleasure. There’s a reason we’ve ended up best friends.
“Why are the two of you whispering in the closet?”
I squeak and turn to find Ash standing in the doorway, rubbing his hair with one of Avery’s fluffy white towels. He has one of those damn tank tops on again and I refuse to look at his nipples.
“Secret girls business,” says Avery in her most innocent voice.
He rolls his eyes at her. “With the two of you that could be anything from pairing the correct shoes with an outfit to plotting the murder of a filthy rich senator for your own gain.”
I scoff at him and cross my arms but he makes a good point. Avery pats him on the chest and says, “Lips is freaking out about where everyone is sleeping. The drugs have scrambled her brain and she’s woken up in her ideal fantasy orgy.”
Nope.
I spin on my heel and charge towards the bathroom to lock myself away from his raucous laughter at Avery’s words. I’ve never heard him laugh like that before. He calls out to me as I pass him, “You’ll have to pause those dirty thoughts, Mounty, Avery has already threatened our dicks if we so much as kiss your cheek in front of her.”
They all laugh and I close the door firmly, flicking the lock.
I cannot survive this.
The movie is terrible but the popcorn is good.
Ash kicks Blaise off of my bed and he sprawls onto the floor so he’s closer to the TV. Avery gives up on watching it twenty minutes in and falls asleep, perfectly comfortable in her Cal King bed by herself.
It takes me most of the movie to stop twitching and settle down enough to get tired. Ash and Harley don’t try to touch me at all, true to their word to Avery, and it’s only after Blaise turns the TV off and settles himself on the couch that I realize they’re not planning on leaving the bed.
I’ve never shared a b
ed before and it makes me panic for a bit in the dark. What if I’m annoying in my sleep? What if I thrash around or snore or drool? What if all of the sexy, irresistible testosterone in the room gives me a sex dream and I moan in my sleep? Christ.
I can tell by his breathing when Harley falls asleep and then when Blaise passes out he’s gently snoring. It’s a cute sound and I smile. I relax back into the mattress and sigh.
I’m almost asleep when I feel a hand on my hip and then Ash is turning me to face away from him and he’s tucking me into his chest. Once he’s got me where he wants me, a leg between mine and my head pillowed on his bicep, he strokes the bare skin of my leg gently. It’s not a sexual touch, just a light comforting stroke until I doze off too.
I’ve never been so comfortable.
Chapter Thirty-Two
I’m too warm.
There’s a thumb tracing the seam of my lips, stroking the soft skin rhythmically, and when I shift the arm around my waist tightens. I open my eyes to find Harley staring at me in the darkness, the blue of his eyes barely visible in the shadows. Ash’s breathing is still deep and steady on my neck so I know he’s still asleep and Blaise’s gentle snores are still the only noise in the room.
Harley moves to brush his fingers over my cheek and my heart does a little dance in my chest. I want to know what time it is but I don’t want to speak or move in case we wake the others. This little moment is just for us.
His eyebrows do that thing where he’s asking me a question. I’m not entirely fluent in the language yet but I nod. Whatever he wants right now I’m ready to give him.
His lips pull into a slow, lascivious smirk and then he presses a finger to them to tell me to stay silent. I nod, just a little so Ash doesn’t wake up, and then he shifts forward to cup my face in his hands and he kisses me.