Proper Ink

by Zeia Jameson

  “Hi back.”

  I reach down between us, underneath the counter and pull out the portfolio on top. I know it’s the right one because I looked through them all the other day and made sure it was on top. I plop it on the counter.

  I look at Kerry. “Are you ready to feast your eyes on the flower-vagina tattoo?” I shift my eyebrows up and down a few times.

  Kerry clasps her hands together just under her chin. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long.” She bats her eyelashes. She’s so damn adorable.

  “Prepare for epicness,” I say slowly in my best low, reality TV announcer voice.

  I look for my bookmark before I open the binder. I dramatically slide my finger into the book and pause. “Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.”

  “What? But you said it was a great tattoo.”

  “It is. It’s gorgeous. But because you know what it’s supposed to be, it’s twisted.”

  Kerry’s shoulders shake as she silently laughs. “Just show it to me already.”

  “Can I get a drumroll, please?”

  She taps out a drumroll with her hands on the top of the counter.

  Quickly I flip the book open. There is only one picture to be seen on both pages of the open book. I isolated the tat to fine-tune the shock value.

  Kerry leans down and makes a hard observation of the tattoo. She stays that way for a solid minute. Finally, I can’t take it any longer. “Well, what do you think?”

  “I’m trying to come up with words, but I can’t find any.”

  “That’s pretty much everyone’s response.”

  “And it’s on his bicep? He just walks around with an obvious vagina on his bare arm? Certainly, he doesn’t wear sleeves all year long in this weather.”

  “I don’t know if he was from here or if he was a tourist. But, yeah. Bicep vagina.”

  Kerry covers her mouth as she laughs. Then she lets out another one of those wide-mouthed, loud laughs. God, I love that laugh.

  I point out to her some of the details that make the tat particularly disturbing. She laughs more.

  The door chimes as we carry on about the tat. I look up to see Padraig.

  “Did you finally show her the vagina tat?” he asks, walking behind the counter. He grabs the edge of the binder and slides it his way. He looks at the picture, shakes his head, and makes a clicking sound with the side of his tongue.

  “I still can’t decide if that bloke has massive balls or no sense at all. Would this flatter you, Kerry? A guy’s vision of your lady bits all exposed on his arm like that?”

  “Padraig!” I snap.

  “It’s an honest question,” he proclaims.

  “You want me to ask the same question to Stella?” I challenge.

  His face flashes anger in an instant. Then he looks at Kerry, and back to me. His face softens, and he raises a single eyebrow as his lips turn up into a mischievous grin. He opens his mouth to speak, but Kerry speaks first.

  “This would not flatter me at all. I think I would be a little embarrassed to face people who knew this was supposed to represent my va-jay-jay. I don’t care how disturbingly beautiful it is.” Instead of cowering to Padraig’s stupid, potentially intimidating question, she answers with confidence. In my head, I give her a big high five.

  Padraig smirks and looks at me. “See. Simple question.”

  I refuse to bring up my point about Stella again. I don’t want him getting any ideas that Kerry and I maybe, possibly, have some sort of relationship in the works. I don’t want his thoughts or opinions. Even though the inappropriateness of him asking Kerry that question isn’t really a point about relationships, it’s just manners in general. But, by the look on his face, I saw where his brain was trying to take it before Kerry chimed in.

  Padraig narrows his eyes at me for a moment, hoping for a response, I guess. Then he looks back down at the picture. “It’s settled, then.” He taps his finger twice on the page of the book. “This guy is a fucking idiot.”

  Kerry turns her head to me, tucks it into her shoulder, and sputters out a laugh as if she’s trying to hold it in. I roll my eyes at Padraig even though he isn’t paying attention.

  “Kerry?” Padraig starts.

  “Paddy, I think we’re good on questions for the evening,” I say.

  Kerry elbows me playfully.

  “Cool it, Luca. I just wanted to know if she’d heard from Stella this afternoon. I tried giving her a call. I normally wouldn’t worry, but there was an . . . incident today.”

  Kerry faces him and nods. “She told me about it briefly before she made me go home for the day. Was it that bad?”

  “It involved the gold-digging whore bitch with no brains. Of course it was that bad. Stella ran out of the ballroom. She said she had to go. That’s the last time I saw or heard from her.”

  “If she isn’t still at work trying to smooth things over and make things right, she’s probably at Forsyth Park. If she’s at the park, Padraig, it’s not a good sign. She only goes there when she’s in a bad place,” Kerry says.

  “I know,” Padraig says, clearing his throat. “I might have been the cause of one of her recent visits.”

  “I might have heard something about that.” Kerry winks at Padraig, and he rolls his eyes.

  “Anyway, that was going to be my next stop. I wanted to come by here first in case she stopped by.”

  “We haven’t seen her,” I reply. “I stepped out for a minute, but Darma would have told me if she saw her while I was gone.”

  Kerry hops off her stool. “I should go find her. It’s been too long without hearing from her.”

  Padraig places a hand on her shoulder. “If ya don’t mind, I’d like to go.” His expression is fervent, relaying to Kerry that he means he’d like to go alone.

  She nods. “Okay. But make sure she’s home by dinnertime. I’m bringing takeout, board games, and the biggest bottle of tequila I can find.” She circles her finger in the air between her, me, and Padraig. “For all of us.” Her invitation is clearly not a request.

  “Aye,” Padraig says, pulling out his wallet and placing a fifty-dollar bill on the counter. “This should cover dinner.” He rifles through his wallet again, pulling out another fifty dollars and placing it on top of the first one. “And the tequila.”

  “Padraig, you don’t have to—” Kerry starts.

  “See ya tonight,” he says, walking out the door.

  “Does he do that to everyone?” she asks.

  “Yes,” I answer.

  Kerry grabs my hand and rubs her fingers over mine. “So, do you want to come with me tonight? To play board games and eat greasy, delicious fried food?”

  “You mean, like, hanging out?” I ask.

  “In its truest form,” she replies, her smile stretching wide.

  “Sure. I kind of feel like I’m not allowed to say no, based on your ‘all of us’ comment,” I say, gripping her hand in mine.

  “Stella and I need as much support as possible right now. I’d love nothing more than for you to be there. Plus, we need a fourth for the board games.”

  She winks. I bring the back of her hand to my lips and kiss it. “I’d love nothing more than to be your fourth for the board games.”

  “Good. I should get going, though. Do you want to come with me to Isle of Hope to raid my parents’ basement for the games?”

  “Will your parents be there?”

  “Probably. They’re super cool, though. The most nonjudgmental people you’ll ever meet. Totally lax,” she defends, but I still don’t think I’m ready for that. Not because they are parents. Just because they’re people. New people. People who are important to Kerry. I need time to mentally prepare for that.

  “How long do you think that’ll take?”

  “Probably about an hour.”

  “Is it okay if I pass?”

  “Of course.” Kerry looks down at her feet and shifts her weight from her left side to her right side. “I didn’t mean to—�
��

  “It’s okay. Really. I can do the books and close up. Want to meet me back here when you get back? Or I can meet you at your house?”

  Kerry smiles. “I’ll come back here so you don’t have to rush to close up. I’d better get on the road, though.” She moves away from me, and I squeeze her hand.

  “Wait,” I say. I lean back and look over my shoulder, surveying the two customers still in the waiting area. I stand from my stool and pull Kerry to Padraig’s space behind the curtain. I’d be scared to go back here, except Stella has been back here and she wasn’t permanently scarred.

  “What is this?” Kerry asks.

  “Padraig’s room. I don’t know what’s back here. Don’t look at anything. Just kiss me, please.”

  I grab her face with both hands and kiss her hard. She kisses me back, and our hands roam everywhere over each other. I breathe in the scent of her hair, and I rustle it by running both my hands up her neck and to the back of her head. I pull her to me as close as I can and press her against the wall to get even closer. I brace one hand against the wall to keep us upright, and I search for and grab her hand with the other. I twine our fingers together and raise them up, resting them on the wall above our heads. Her breathing quickens. I can feel her chest heave against mine. I press myself against her, and she groans.

  “Hellooo, Luca,” she says, which causes me to laugh against her mouth.

  “God, you’re so hot,” she says to me.

  I have to stop before I have her naked in Padraig’s room. I kiss her twice more and press my forehead against hers.

  “You have no idea what you do to me,” I say, nearly out of breath.

  “I think I may have a clue,” she says, also breathless.

  “Go do your thing. I’ll see you back here in a little while.”

  She nods and looks up into my eyes. “Okay.”

  We stand there, motionless, for a moment. Kerry closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She places her hand on my cheek. “I think I kind of like you, Luca.”

  I smile into her hand. “I kind of like you too. I know.”

  “I’ll be back soon.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  I use my hand on the wall to push myself away from her. Her hand slides from my face as she continues to look me in the eyes.

  “See you when I get back,” she says. She slides out from underneath me, her hand gliding the length of my outstretched arm as she slips through the curtained opening. When our hands meet, I grab hers in mine and let her pull me with her until I’m out from behind the curtain too. I let go and watch her walk toward the door. She turns and looks back at me twice before exiting the shop. I continue to watch her, and she gives me one more glance through the window before she disappears from sight. I’m grinning as wide as my face will allow.

  I hear a throat clearing to the left of me. I turn to see Darma looking at me with utter disgust.

  “Dude,” she spits out, “what the fuck was that all about?”

  I wipe my mouth, but my smile remains. I point to the waiting area. “You have customers.”

  She rolls her eyes and calls back her next client.

  Present Day

  She’s back within the hour. I decided to sit outside and wait for her. Two people walked in while I was doing the books, and I had to tell them to leave. And I didn’t want to lock the door on her and have her have to wait outside while I unlocked it. Not that it was dangerous for her to wait a few seconds, but it seemed rude to me.

  So I wait outside on a bench right next to the door until I see her walking up. I stand and walk toward her.

  “Hey,” she exclaims from afar.

  “Hey yourself,” I reply, approaching her quickly.

  “You didn’t have to wait outside,” she says to me.

  I explain my reasoning to her and she gives me an understanding nod.

  “I’m going to get food to go from Barkley’s and then head up to Bay Street for the tequila.” She adjusts the strap of the shoulder bag she’s carrying.

  I reach out to her. “Can I carry that?” I ask.

  “Sure.” She hands me the bag. I peer in to see its contents. Three boxes of games. I don’t study them enough to see what they are. I close the bag and drape it over my shoulder.

  “Thank you,” she says.

  “Not a problem. So, to Barkley’s?”

  “Yes.”

  We walk toward the restaurant, which is renowned for its fried seafood platters. I grab Kerry’s hand and hold it as we make our way there.

  “I’m not sure if you noticed earlier,” I begin, squeezing her hand, “but I think Padraig’s onto us.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I think he thinks we’re a thing.”

  “A thing?”

  “An item,” I clarify. “In a relationship. Or fooling around?”

  Kerry purses her lips slightly sideways as if to convey she’s thinking about what I’m saying.

  “We’re just hanging out, right?” she finally asks.

  “Yes.”

  “And kissing?”

  “Yes. Hanging out kissing, for sure.”

  “So does that make us an item? A thing? Does that qualify as fooling around?”

  “I think fooling around involves being naked,” I retort.

  Kerry laughs. “I can agree with that.”

  “I don’t know if we’re an item or a thing, and I don’t really care to define it right now.” I squeeze her hand again, hoping I didn’t just sound like the biggest of assholes.

  “I’m okay with that. I mean, besides the fun we’ve had and the kissing, I wouldn’t say we’ve spent enough time with each other to give whatever it is a definition.” Kerry looks at me with a soft expression. A caring expression.

  So, I’m not being an asshole. Well, either that or we’re both being assholes and we cancel each other out.

  Whichever it is, I’m relieved.

  “And I can agree with that,” I answer, giving her statement right back to her.

  “Why are you worried about Padraig being ‘onto us’?”

  I shrug. “I want this—us—to go wherever, however, it’s going to go on our terms. I don’t want any . . . outside influences. Not yet. Padraig can really be a pain in the ass about things sometimes. He can be relentless. It’s exhausting. I don’t want to deal with that. Not now. I want to enjoy you. Without him in my ear all the damn time. And Stella—”

  Kerry places her hand on my chest, and we halt our walking. “Hey,” she says, brushing her hand through my hair. “You’re getting really worked up about this. Calm down.”

  I take a deep breath, and we begin walking again.

  “And Stella,” I continue. “Well, no offense to her, but she’s a little persistent too. And I just have images in my head of them butting their noses in and wanting to know information I’m not ready for them to know.”

  “Stella wouldn’t do that. Not if I asked her not to.”

  “I understand. I do. And everything in my head are worst-case scenarios. I know that. But it doesn’t mean I can stop thinking about them.”

  “So what is it that you want to do?” she asks with a concerned look on her face.

  I take another deep breath as we reach the front door of Barkley’s. I pause and pull her to the side to get out of the way of other patrons. “It’s probably going to sound dumb, but I would really like to not talk with Padraig about whatever it is we’re doing here. Or Stella. I’d like for us to figure this out before we have to answer a million questions about our intentions with each other.”

  Kerry nods. “Okay. I understand.” She presses up onto her tiptoes and kisses me.

  “And, to avoid talking about it, maybe we shouldn’t be touchy-feely when we’re around them. As difficult as that will be for me, I think it’s for the best. For now.” I stand there waiting for her to tell me I’m being ridiculous.

  “So no sticking my tongue down your throat during game night tonight?”
/>   I smile, bend down, and place a quick kiss on her lips. “Something like that. But you know? No hugging or passing sexy eyes to each other.”

  Her Julia Roberts laugh comes out. “I don’t know what passing sexy eyes means, really, but I think I get the idea.” She wraps her arms around me in a hug. I hug her back.

  “I’m going to get all my hugging for the evening in right now if that’s okay,” she says, her face partially smushed into my chest.

  “So you don’t think I’m an absolute lunatic for feeling this way?”

  She looks up at me. “I wouldn’t say that, necessarily, but I am okay with keeping us a secret if that is what you want.” She hugs me again. “I don’t mind having you all to myself for a while.”

  I exhale a large breath. I tilt her chin up to me and kiss her again. “You’re kind of great, you know.”

  She shrugs, and we look at each other for a short moment, both with smiles plastered on our faces.

  “Let’s go get some food,” she says.

  I nod, then turn and open the door for her to pass through.

  Kerry chooses Life. The board game. She says it’s fitting of the current situation. Stella doesn’t disagree. I don’t argue.

  We eat, we take a few shots of tequila, and we play the most lively and animated game of Life I’ve ever witnessed.

  Kerry and I are sitting on the floor at Stella’s oversized coffee table while playing this game with Padraig and Stella, who are sitting across from us. Her knee keeps brushing up against my leg. I want to put my hand on her thigh. Or rub my hand down her back. Or kiss her, for fuck’s sake.

  But I made up this stupid rule about keeping this from the two sitting across from us.

  It’s for the best, I remind myself.

  “Ha! I win!” Kerry exclaims after placing her car game piece into the Finish square. She raises her hand in the air across the table, and Stella gives her a high five.

  I nudge Kerry’s shoulder gently with mine. “I think you cheated,” I tease.

  Padraig laughs. “You always think everyone cheats when you lose,” he says.

  “Not true,” I argue.

  “I bet Denny from poker night would disagree.”

  I shrug. I feel Kerry tap me on my knee. I try not to react. She’s breaking the rule, but her hand against my knee was welcome. I just don’t want Stella and Padraig to know. I already notice that Stella is looking back and forth between me and Kerry. I can almost see the wheels spinning in her head.